Older..

Older.. Salam. Sebelum tu mengenai soalan yang akak liyaa tanye <-- sopan nye saye panggil akak =P Memang betul r keje aku wat technical proposal, tender or anything related to that. Projek yang uruskan orang projek and memang takleh campur. Sales dicari oleh orang sales. Macam tu je. Cume even keje aku wat technical proposal, bukan senang macam wat assignment time blaja dulu. Nanti r aku cite step2 untuk menghasilkan sekeping tender kalau rajin.. err. Ari ni aku nak cite pasal lain lak. Aku tau ade certain readers yang stalker bace entri lame2 aku terutama entri paling awal. Tapi baru2 ni aku notice ade antara stalker siap drop komen lagi dalam entri lelame tu. So ari ni aku nak cite secara ringkas isi2 entri yang di stalk tu.

Note: identiti si stalker terpakse dirahsiakan.. err.. kiera.. kiera.. =P

Entri Cume Pendapat Saya

Entri ni aku taip pas sorang kenalan aku cabar aku untuk wat satu entri yang leh describe sorang lagi kawan aku. Memandangkan time tu aku memang tak tau nak update ape so aku setuju r untuk wat entri her/him tu =P Akak stalker curious nak tau sape her/him tu. So, ape yang leh di wat ikut arahan ni. Entri tu ade 7 perenggan so sile delete perenggan first and last. Tinggal 5 isi. Amek huruf pertama setiap perenggan dan cantumkan and pastu sile r cakap dalam ati "Kreatif nye mamat ni wat entri =P" Tapi ikutkan kalau dah follow step2 tu pun rase nye tak kenal gak so kalau tak nak wat ikut arahan pun takpe.. ^^

Entri Apa Yang Mereka Pandang?

Entri ni aku taip untuk mencitekan tentang aku yang tibe2 femes <-- nampak perasan kat situ kan? =P Sebab nye mase tu, tbe2 ade r insan2 yang nak kenal ngan aku r.. nak jumpe r.. nak ape r.  Memang culture shock aku sebab time sekolah dulu memang harapan r macam tu. Time budak2 hot sekolah dapat macam2 hadiah sempena ari2 ape ntah, aku just leh tengok je. So logik r kan untuk someone yang memang tak di notice kewujudan die dulu nak up entri camtu. Sebab aku sendiri pun confuse ape beze nye aku yang dulu ngan aku yang pada masa tu? Still orang yang same gak kan? So jelas takde perasan kat situ ok =P

Entri Mereka Sangat Manis

Entri ni aku taip sebagai tanda terharu aku kat 3 orang kenalan yang memang riso tak ingat sewaktu insiden aku lari2 hilang dulu <-- jangan tiru ok =__= Aku jumpe conversation dorang ni dalam wall fb salah sorang dari mereka bertiga. Bile aku bace memang rase terharu betul. Terus aku decide untuk abadikan conversation dorang tu dalam bentuk entri. Dipendekkan cite, terhasil r entri tersebut pas gigih aku menaip same macam ape dorang taip dalam wall tu. Interesting kat sini, 3 orang kenalan tu r yang menyebabkan insiden lari2 hilang tu dan until now salah sorang dari mereka tak tau pun die penggerak insiden tu.

Entri Ia Sudah Berakhir Atau Belum?

Entri ni aku taip malam aku dapat mesej dari someone yang cakap 2 ari lagi anniversary kitorang. Statement yang wat aku agak blur sebab time tu 17 oktober dan aku mula kenal die through phone 20 oktober. Of coz aku ingat tarikh tu sebab tarikh tu ari jadi sis aku. So, aku angkat call malam tu sebab ingat sis aku yang call sempena besday die. Tapi rupenye bukan sebaliknye die. Berdasarkan maklumat kat atas, anniversary ape 19 oktober kalau aku tak kenal pun die lagi dalam phone sebelum malam 20 oktober? Lagi pun time tu kitorang dah break hampir setahun dah so still  ade lagi ke anniversary tu? Hmm.. 

Entri Dia Kata

Entri ni aku taip just untuk bagi kefahaman kat diri sendiri tentang ape yang someone cakap dekat aku. Sebab nye aku nampak someone cakap begini tapi sebenarnye bukan begitu. Entri untuk tunjuk pemikiran pompuan ngan laki dalam satu hal yang same ni kadang2 berbeza. Bese nye kalau pompuan ingat something hal is like this, laki lak akan cakap hal tu is like that. Same r macam situasi yang aku alami sebelum2 tu. Last2 aku pun decide untuk taip je dalam blog sebab mase tu blog aku ni just blog yang personal dan takde sape pun yang akan bace sume tu kecuali diri aku sendiri <-- ni name nye ayat kesian.. 

Entri Masa Lalu Saya Akan Jadi Masa Lalu Saya

Entri ni aku taip pas tibe2 die tanye khabar aku tak lame pas insiden lari2 hilang dulu. Kat sini aku nak mintak maaf kat die yang tanye khabar tu sebab time tu aku memang bad mood gile so aku layan tak layan je mesej tu. Seriesly mase aku balik dari insiden lari2 hilang tu, aku rase agak kosong dan takde nak pikir sangat dekat orang lain. Dengan kata lain, time tu aku dah give up untuk pikirkan pasal masalah orang lain. Rase macam takde faedah je. Ape pun, sekarang ni aku ok (Rase nye r kot) so leh r share masalah korang di talian bebas tol 1300-13-1300 and pesan spicy chicken mc deluxe untuk aku. Thanks! =P

Entri Sebab Itulah Baik Jadi Orang Yang Kejam

Entri ni aku taip sebagai tanda sakit ati aku mase tu dengan something yang happen kat aku. Untuk pengetahuan akak stalker L = aku, V = orang yang aku minat dulu, T = bestfren aku laki. Sekarang boleh r akak stalker bace and fahami lagi. Tapi diharapkan akak stalker jangan r cakap mereka kejam sebab aku dah matang dan boleh fikir kalau bukan takdir someone tu dengan aku, aku wat cane pun memang tak ade kesan kat ati die. Untuk pengetahuan akak stalker gak, both of them dah selamat berkahwin pun bape bulan lepas, aku pun datang majlis tu so sekarang ni doa kan je r kebahagian dorang ye akak stalker =)

Banyak dah aku brief. Cukup r tu ye. Ape pun time kasih kepada yang sudi bace entri lame2 aku. Aku tau ade lagi yang bace tapi dah korang tak komen, aku tak tau nak brief cane =P Membace entri lame2 tu wat aku terpikir.. tak matang nye aku, stress je cite dalam blog, stress cite dalam blog. Tergelak pun ade. Ape pun, even entri tu banyak cite pasal zaman gelap aku.. aku decide untuk biar je sume entri tu so that sesape yang rajin stalker leh r tau cane tuan nye blog ni mase zaman tak matang dulu sebelum entri2 die jadi macam yang korang bace ni. Menarik, tak boring <-- korang cakap aku tak cakap =P Bace entri london tu dan korang akan realize hidup aku ni bukan r indah ari2 macam certain readers selalu cakap tu. =)

Selingan bertajuk lari2 hilang dedication <-- gedik =P

Thanks to akak stalker sebab komen entri lame2 wat aku bace entri tu balik dan akhirnye aku recall gak 7 oktober 2009 ialah tarikh insiden lari2 hilang tu terjadi. Kalau tau awal leh r aku wat status kat fb dan tag sume yang terlibat tapi dah lambat.. <-- series gedik Ape pun aku nak wat dedikasi kat sini. Kepada yang menghavockan family aku (dengar pakcik aku stand by kat bukit aman tunggu 24 jam nak lapor kes budak hilang -_-) = jamatul fitri, kepada hosmate yang wat macam nothing happen = syawer halim, fikry jasni, abul joe, kepada hosmate yang menasihati dan chat aku sebaik saje aku on ym pagi tu = furqon ahmad, kepada "reason" aku hilang = farzana redha, diana omar, kepada sis dan kaunselor yang bagitau aku air mata lelaki tu mahal untuk ditumpahkan = ayu arshad, murni, kepada yang tanye khabar aku pas balik petang tu = sofia zaara, kepada yang bawak aku main layang2 pas tau aku dah balik (siap sempat wat mv lagi kat padang tu) = zahirah khalid, itther suhaimi, adi putra, kepada best fren yang sebok cari aku dari malam ke pagi sampai tak cukup tido siap main post2 gambar dalam fb =  nizar ahmad dan kepada sesape aku tak sebut dalam ni. Time kasih banyak2 kat korang sume sebab risaukan aku. Macam ayat blogger mata cantik "N*** ni memang disayangi ramai pun.." ^__^

Have You Ever Know..

Have you ever know.. sebelum ade facebook, twitter or ntah ape2 lagi laman sosial tu, dah wujud satu laman web di mana korang leh add member2 korang. Pastu kalau ade member yang korang tak suke ngan nyampah, korang leh remove or delete dorang. Paling penting, dorang pun takkan notice kalau korang dah delete dorang dari korang nye akaun.

Have you ever know.. laman web tu gak mempunyai photo sharing sendiri, di mana korang leh r kongsi2 gambar korang g makan kfc, mekdi, keni roges dan ntah macam2 name lagi yang aku malas nak sebut. Bagi yang suke snap gambar lebih muncung lebih menawan pun takde masalah sebab takde pengharaman atau syarat gambar2 yang dibenarkan.

Have you ever know.. laman web tu gak mempunyai sistem yang membolehkan korang chatting ngan member2 korang, same macam chat facebook yang ade sekarang, cume takde r bunyi ktak ktak macam kat facebook tu. Facebook tu maju setapak so bunyi pun dah upgrade. Ape pun, laman web tu maybe perintis kepada sistem chat yang sedia ada sekarang,

Have you ever know.. kalau korang nak share cite sensasi, nak share bisness dok umah goyang kaki duit masuk, jana pendapatan sambil tido je.. pun takde masalah. Sebab nye, laman web tu gak telah membolehkan tag. So, bagi mereka yang suke sangat mengetag kawan2 walaupun ikut logik takyah tag  pun takpe, leh r guna laman web ni.

Have you ever know.. name laman web tu yahoo.mail =P

Selingan tanpa kesimpulan. Aku tau entri aku yang ni ntah hape2. Sampai ari rabu ni aku agak bz handle satu technical proposal yang kne submit 25hb. So, ikut kan aku memang takde mase pun nak blogging2 ni. Tapi sebab ade yang tanye bile aku nak update, pastu siap nak main2 ugut lagi <-- ni hiperbola, so ngan sepantas panther aku taip entri ke? ni. So, sori korang T__T

Note: Blogger dah ubah interface aku secara pakse. Tak ske!!! (-_-")

Is It A Loser?

Is it a loser? Bape ari aku tak update.. untuk pengetahuan korang bape ari yang lepas aku agak bz mencari umah sewa yang lain. Honestly, memang aku agak geram gak sebabnye hanya kerana sorang hosmate wat hal, satu rumah kne tanggung akibatnye. Hosmate tu lak hilang ntah ke mane. Tapi takpe r, mungkin dugaan untuk aku dan hosmate2 yang lain. So kitorang time je r. Em.. memandangkan aku masih dalam mood cuba menerima suasana baru, so entri pagi ni agak mendatar sikit kot..

Is it a loser? Tempat aku lahir just tempat yang bese je. Terus terang cakap, even kalau korang nak makan dalam Giant, Tesco.. memang takde tempat tu. Nak cari kfc, mcD or ape je makanan fastfood kat tempat aku, memang korang takkan jumpe. Kalau korang nak cari kenny rogers, nando or any else makanan grand camtu, kat tempat aku memang takde. So, sejak aku kecik aku dah terbese makan nasi kat kedai2 makan yang bese tu. First time aku makan kebanyakan aku sebut kat atas tu bile aku start blaja kat um dulu. Tu pun bese nye bile aku ngan kengkawan aku r. Kalau aku just makan sorang2 memang aku akan pilih nasi ngan lauknye. Sebabnye? Aku tau kengkawan aku tu tak makan nasi selalu. Kate dorang, nasi tu makan ari2 leh jadi muak and wateva lagi. Entah r.. kadang2 aku tertanye gak kat diri aku. Makan nasi tu.. loser sangat ke?

Is it a loser? Mase aku ngah cari2 umah sewa yang baru, aku ade ternampak satu umah untuk sewa dekat2 ngan tempat keje aku. Pendekkan cite, aku pun g r tengok2 umah tu pas aku balik keje. Memang aku tak nafikan umah tu memang leh kate besar, 2 tingkat. Aku jumpe ngan orang dalam umah tu ngan sembang2 jap. Mule2 ok je sampai aku tanye die keje mane. Katenye die keje kat uitm. Then die tanye aku soalan same and aku just cakap aku keje dekat2 area sini je, sini kan banyak kilang. Die tanye lagi aku keje kilang ke? So, sebab taknak panjang2 aku cakap ye je r. Pastu aku dapat rase suasana tu macam dah lain. Die pandang aku macam sinis je. Mungkin die ingat sebab aku keje kilang aku tak mampu nak bayar sewa ngan deposit umah tu agaknye. Bile dah diam lame camtu aku pun memang malas r nak dok lame situ. Terus aku mintak diri dan reject untuk dok kat umah tu. Aku tertanye g. Keje kilang tu.. loser sangat ke?

Is it a loser? Akhir nye, pas insiden cari umah sewa.. akhirnye aku jumpe gak umah yang bagi aku ok r untuk hidup dalam tu. Mungkin r kalau nak compare ngan umah sewa aku sebelum ni, memang jauh beza. Tapi aku time je dugaan ni. Umah sewa baru aku ni bese je. Aku selesa kat umah ni tapi ntah nape kawan aku lak yang lebih2 tak setuju aku dok kat umah sewa tu. Katenye sebab dulu umah sewa aku besar, so tak standard r kalau aku dok umah sewa yang bese je. Statement ape kah itu? Umah sewa tempat aku nak tido je pun. Perlu ke standard tak standard? Aku membesar pun kat umah yang leh kate sederhana je. Bukan kat banglo pun aku hidup. Tapi ok je aku membesar. Cukup makan pakai sume. Taktau lak aku dok umah besar tu lagi bahagia. Tak faham aku. Lagi sekali aku tanye. Dok umah kecik tu.. loser sangat ke?

Is it a loser? Ok, takde dah cukup r cite aku pagi ni. Kesimpulannye.. ntah. Aku just nak cite pengalaman aku je. Mungkin ade antara korang pernah alami bende same, tapi taknak share. So takpe, aku share dulu =P Lastly, aku just nak bagitau pada yang nak tau. Kat umah sewa baru, aku tak dapat nak trace signal Yes4G tu. Maksudnye wat mase ni aku takleh nak blogging malam2 macam dulu. Ape pun aku akan try guna source lain untuk online. Kalau jumpe, jumpe r. Kalau tak jumpe, mintak maap dulu. Salam.. =)

Some News To Share..

I got some news to share here. Firstly, my ex already find someone to replace me. Congratz to her. Hope this new person are better than me, and both of them will have a happy ending. Suddenly remember what she said to me before. Wateva happen she will wait for me.. Now?? Funny is it?? But, just forget about it. So it is mean I should find someone new also?? So any volunteer here? ahakz.. jokes only. Still too early for me..

I got some news to share here. Secondly, my sis also already find someone special in her heart once again. Wow!! for me it is very2 fast!! About 2 months didnt contact since she is busy with her part time job suddenly knowing this, of coz it is shocking at first.. + as I remember it just few months after.. But as long she is happy with that it is ok.. Hope this one will be eternal. Dont play2 around again ok.. Or I will beat you =P

I got some news to share here. Lastly, my friend already find someone new. From what I see and what I understand, that new someone is my own classmate (if wrong sorry). But I think it is true. As proof he use that picture showing him and my classmate on his page. Suddenly think how can this two person fall in love. It just cant be imagine!! lol! But congratz to both of you. Just one advice here. Please dont do like you do last time.

Thats some news to share..

What Can I Say??

"i forgive u but i will never forget.. just remember who i am to u.. u are my sweet memories.."

What can I say? Receive this from someone that I dont really sure about her feeling but what I know this person like me.. From what she said before.. Sometimes I confuse, in the mirror open the glasses and I saw such a crook face... and still have some peoples outside there like me? Is it for real?? Thanx GOD for everything..

What can I say? The words that she send to me.. to say the truth, its really make me feel touching but it just that.. Nothing more than that I can do to pay it back.. + I know that I cant try to like person that like me. I just cant.. If I still do it, I know I will regret it.. and Im sure a lot of peoples outside there also cant do it just like me..

What can I say? I am a person that really like to like someone compare to like someone that like me to. I know about famous words that say " love someone that love you coz if you love someone else, they will leave you to find someone that they really love" But wateva, coz I have 1 famous words that say" love cant be force" isnt it?

What can I say? From words above, I just cant like her back. Even after few years later, it just cant happen. Coz I know, If I do it the thing will getting more worse and at last there is a heart that will be hurt and that is what I want to avoid. How can I know? I experience it once and already take a lesson from it. So what can I say??

Is It Fair??

First it happen to me, then her, and yesterday she.. Really make me want to write this, just as my own opinion..

Is it fair if...

They can talk to their opposite with freedom and cant be control. Hang up in a phone hours and hours. Use such a flirting word and so on but at the time you want to do the same, they didnt give you a permission.. With the simple reason "they didnt like it!"

Is it fair if..

They can be a friend to their opposite. You cant stop them coz they say it is normal to have an opposite friend like that. But at the time you want to the same, they dont want it. And more worse you have to break with current opposite friend that you already have..

Is it fair if..

They can freely check your inbox, your message, your ym and can easily delete the number of the sender that they didnt like you to be friendly with. But at the time you want to do the same, they argue with it and give a reason cant disturb their own personal life..

Is it fair if..

They can go hang out with their opposite anytime they like. Watching movies, singing, lunch, dinner and even travelling together. But at the time you want to do the same, they will become anger and say that you try to play and cheating behind them..

So ?? Is it fair??

Dont Know The Way Human React..

When I become too lazy, dont want to do anything.. just want to relax, people say and ask me to study, do some homework and bla bla bla. But when I become hardworking, studies until late nite, I will receive few words such as " rajin gile, dah2 r 2", "rilek dulu bang, men game jap" and so on..

When I say something which is true, no one will believe it. Even I repeat it thousand of times people will say " eleh, tipu r 2" and " ye2 je kan". What make me feel confuse is people always believe when I lie. Really weird. I say 99% lying and they still believe that my words is 100% true..

When I concern to peoples close to me, ask about their life today and so on, at the end there will say that they are not comfortable with it, they are not a child, so dont need that. But at the time I stop to concern about others, just think about me, some peoples will ask me to always concern to them.

Confuse and as conclusion.. really dont know the way human react..

Dont Know Why

This person H*****A A*****A:

Dont know why,

That day suddenly you text me, introduce yourself and want to be friend with me. It feel weird at first. Where you get my number? From who? I keep asking and finally got the answer.. maybe. At first I still dont trust you but day by day, after several conversation I think you are a good person. So then I start to believe you..

Dont know why,

Weeks and weeks I feel comfortable with you. Even at first I treat you as a stranger coz you really are, but after one time we become very close with each other. I finally consider you as one of my bestfriend. A lot of things we share together. And both of us feel very happy with that. I hope that you will be my bestfriend forever..

Dont know why,

After a month knowing you, I really believe in you. It is true that I really believe you. The word stranger I use to you is gone. As the proof I share all my problems with you and you also do the same. Tell you about what I feel and what I face really make me relaxing. At last I have someone that I can share problem with..

Dont know why,

As close as we become, I share some of my secret with you and some of my personal life. At that time I really think it is safe keeping some of it with you. But the truth is, it is the worst thing I ever done in my whole life. I really have no idea why I really believe in you and take a risk to tell my personal matter with you..

Dont know why,

Im sure before this we never known each other. So I guess, what is the wrong I ever done to you? Is there any mistake? Why after I believe with you, you betray me? Dont know what is in your mind but it seem that you trying to destroy my life using all the stories I share with you.. What is the reason?

Dont know why,

The reason you act like that. Thanx GOD I notice it. And after that you try to apologized and said that you never mean to do that.. What?? what game you try to playing actually? Of coz I cant accept that after what you do to me. It really like I been stab back by the person I trust most and there is no way I can forgive you.

Dont know why,

After few years it happen, after few years didnt hear any news from you and after few years I forget about it, suddenly you appear in my laptop screen to say hi.. The motive is? Still not enough for you after what you have done before? Suddenly you came and want to act nice. Sorry but I got my lesson so there is no forgiveness for you.

Dont know why,

From that day until now I consider you as my enemy, and cant forgive you for what you did. One thing for sure, I cant hate you. I just cant. Maybe bcoz the time we happy together make me act like that. I know you already finish your study and maybe rite now you already working. Even cant forgive you, hope you are just fine.

Dont know why..

And My Decision??

People look me as happy person.. Just know to have fun. Not worry about anything and so on.. But it is really so? Only I know what is inside in my mind. And few weeks ago, a lot of things come suddenly and need my decision..

1) I targeting for it from 1 year ago and decide to get it this year. I plan everything and try to save the budget as much as I can, so I can get it sooner. But, like I always said human can only plan. GOD is The One to make it come true or not. Maybe it is not my day, suddenly car and my laptop break down at the same time and I spend quite a lot of money to fix both of its. After that, I realize I already over budget. And that make me thinking can I still buy that thing? Am I really need it? Or I just wait few month before buy it...

And my decision??

2) One nite, when I do my tutorial, I got a sms from unknown number. Owh, it is her ask me about chemistry problem. I said I dont really remember to solve it and she said it is ok. Then she ask me weither I know someone good at math, or maybe me myself can teach her math. In other word, me become her math's tutor personally and she will pay me for that. Me.. become her personal tutor. If I agree, maybe I have a chance to increase my money. But, can I teaching well? Most important, can I teach if it was her?

And my decision??

3) Few weeks ago, SNML ask me about our plan before. The plan is me meet with both SAJ and SNML. The place and time still not confirm yet and both let me to decide it. Main reason for this meeting is to know why SAJ suddenly keep silent for few month ago without any reason. I still not confirm it yet but if plan go smoothly, means we shall meet this weekend. Em, I wonder.. am I really prepare with it? About what will I hear from SAJ. Besides that, there can I really sure that SAJ will open mouth and explain it truthly?

And my decision??

Just A Week..

3 weeks has gone. A lot of tutorials has come. New chapters has been teach to me. But only few of that I understand 100%. Other seem just ok. Thesis also progress slowly. Now Im at the final year and final semester. So I decide to do this..

Just a week, I want to concentrate on my study and so on.

A lot of peoples that I care. A lot of friends that I concern. Dont know why but I feel happy doing that things. See them happy make me feel happy too. But, bcoz I always do that, sometimes I forgot to think about myself. So I decide to do this..

Just a week, I want to take care of myself more than anyone.

People say that I am the silent person, but the truth is Im quite talkative and speak a lot recently. A lot of I think. So maybe I have make some peoples around me hurt with my words or maybe feel anoying with me. Dont know. So I decide to do this..

Just a week, I want to keep my mouth shut up and "silent".

I dont know why, I addicted to that thing. I really not sure when it started. My life without open it just once in a day feel very empty. Sometimes I will sleep at 2 to 3 am every day only bcoz of that thing. Must do something. So I decide to do this..

Just a week, I will try my best not to open that thing.

Just a week..

It Is Okay For Me

Even I dont know exactly the reason, but..

It is okay for me if you want to keep ignoring me as long as you really feel comfortable with it. But one thing, please dont do that to the other friends coz Im sure they all really care for you. And if you start ignoring them too, they will hurt so much.

It is okay for me if you want to running away from me, as long as you happy doing it. Just run and continue run as far you can go. But, dont forget to find me whenever you need friend coz I will always there whenever you need me.

It is okay for me if you want to avoiding me for long time, as long as you remember me. You say that you need time rite? I dont know why you need that thing. What can I say, just take a lot of time that you need. Maybe with that, you will be fine.

And last but not least...

It is okay for me if you want to do anything that you think rite. But, please be sure about it first. We have known each other for a long time. It is okay for you ignore, run and avoid me just because something that you not sure? If it is, it is okay for me as long you feel okay with it too..

Even I dont know exactly the reason.

The Story Of E L F

E - Im sure all people outside there will avoid to get E. Why? because get it will cause harmful in their life. And also will cause more troubles. Me myself dont want E in my life. But I must agree with something. Sometimes, when E become the F, It will be the true F than the existence F, and if E become L, Im sure it will be eternal.

L - I dont know too much about L, and still learn about it. But one thing for sure, people always want to find it. They say L will bring happiness. And can make our life complete? Is that true? Maybe sometimes. But losing L will make people losing F. The worse is sometimes, people that losing L will turn the L become the E.

F - For me, F is important in our life. So that why there has a quote says that we can find thousand F but avoid to have E. Totally agree with it. F that become the L has their own pros and cons. Maybe there have happiness and sadness. But the F that turn into E is very dangerous than the E itself. Why? coz they know the weakness of each others.

So why I type all these? Nothing. Just want to share something that running in my mind..

Can I Fall In Love?

I am a person who experience love only just once. And after that thing ends. I dont feel anything.. Regret.. Sad.. Hurt.. I dont actually feel all that. The only thing I feel is guilty bcoz I think I had hurt someone. Can I fall in love?

I am a person who always choose friendship more than love if I have been decide to choose.. And Im sure some of my bestfriends know that I already sacrifice love 3 times since Im know what love is. Can I fall in love?

I am a person who think that love is not means to have it. In love, it is better to give more than take. For me, It is ok if someone that I like live happily even it is not with me, since we always hope the best for someone we love rite? Can I fall in love?

I am a person who is rite now dont want to take seriously about love. It is not because I scared to be hurt. I dont care if either 10, 10, 100 or 1000 peoples hurt me but to hurt someone again is what I dont want to. Can I fall in love?

So anyone? Have you decide it? Can I fall in love?

Really Dont Understand

Really dont understand.

Why? Why you just send the same message everyday and after that remain silent? Why you not reply any message after that? Why you act like that? Why?

When? When you start to be like this? When you start to become more sensitive? When this all started? When?

What? What have I done to you actually? What is the wrong thing I done to you? What should I do to fix it? What?

Really dont understand.

To You

To you (you know who you are) - I just want to say, if anyone text me and I did not reply it, it only bcoz of 3 reason : I dont want to, I have no credit or I already sleeping. But rite now, only one up to five persons that I not reply bcoz I dont want to and almost of you know who is that persons. So dont worry about that.

To you (you know who you are) - Sorry coz not reply your message lately. But seriously at that time I have no credit to reply it. It is not bcoz I dont want to but my credit make me cant do it. so plese understand coz I try my best to understand people that I text but they dont reply it for one day, two days and almost a week.

To you (you know who you are) - You also had done the same thing to me before. At first I also feel something like "geram" but after a while I try to understand it. So please do the same. I have a reason if I dont reply it and it is not bcoz I dont want to.. lastly forgive me if I do wrong. Thats all..

What I Want..

To anyone who dont know about it, about few hours ago I just comeback from my hometown. Some friends say it is crazy thing that I do. Go back just to take my calculator that I left at home even only few days I will sit for final exam. Haha maybe it is true but anything that we do always has "HIKMAH" rite? Em.. 1 day at home and I learn it is time for me to think what I really want..

What I want.. forget the past - first thing that come out from my mind is this thing. Yes!! it is true. I want to forget my past. Dont want to think about it anymore.. My past is everything related to me in the past. Problems, ex, enemy.. wateva.. For real, I don't want to think about it. Rite now, what I want to do is to walk on my own path. I will try my best to look forward and never turn back.

What I want.. hardworking - this thing is my best "friend" since I am in standard 1. but after I be a university student, I notice that it has leave me. Maybe it is hard for me to get it back, but I will try and try to find that hardworking. I know I really need it because it help me a lot to make me become me rite now... So anything I will do in order to get it back.

What I want.. love ? - hmm.. it is true I need it? Love from my family, my true friends.. I really need it. But love from someone that we call lover, I dont think I want it rite now. It is enough for me to think about it. I dont care to be hurt but to hurt someone again, I dont want to do it. Maybe when the time come and I meet someone that GOD created for me, I will think about it again but for now nope.

What I want.. successful - of coz I want it!! To be a successful person is my dream since I am small. Really feel jealous with some peoples that really success in their life. Have their own company. Live their life easily. No need to worry about debt and etc etc.. Hope someday I will be like them. So to achieve that, I must work hard isn't it? After that I can also think about Caldina, Veyron and Viper rite? haha.

What I want.. care other people - I cannot avoid from doing this. Sorry to say but it is in my blood since I have heart. My friends also care for me so I want to return the favor. Besides, I know some close friends really need someone to care about them. So I want to be that person as long as I could until they found someone that really care for them more than me. For some that is not comfortable with it, I will stop doing it to them. So dont worry about it.

What I want.. new me - Just a few months to go and I will finish my study.. INSYAALLAH. So now it is suitable time to change myself physically and mentally. First is to increase my weight since many peoples say that I am too thin. Me myself agree with that. Haha. I think I do some exercise but maybe that still not enough. So must work out double after this. Mentally, I want to be more confident person, brave to speak in front of peoples.. So anyone can help?? haha.

Rite now, that is the things that I really want. I have a lots more actually but for now it is enough. Maybe some peoples also think the same things like me. Maybe the others has different thing that they want inside their mind. Bad things or good things, anything can be but hope it is a good things. And for me, I will try and try and try until I got what I want..

She Said...

She said.. that I never think of her after we break.. Is that true? If so, why I still keep the gifts that she gave me? Why I still ask peoples that know her, is she alright? is she happy? And why I still keep some of the photos that is most memorable with me? Why??

She said.. that I do a decision just for myself.. Is that true? If so, why I still thinking the result that I got from the decision I make? Why I still question myself that I do is right or wrong? And why I still blame myself after I made the decision? Why??

She said.. that I never try to save our relationship.. Is that true? If so, why I dont want her to forget me after we break? Why I still want her to contact me after that? And why I ask her to be my friend first. Why??

She said.. that now she really want to forget me.. Is that true? If so, why she always asking me weither I still love her or not? Why she still want me to give her hope? And why she still want to know what I'm doing now? Why??

She said.. that I will not get a person that can love me very2 much like she does.. Is that true? If so, is that means I will live alone after this? Without someone special in my life? If the God create me with no one to be my someone, I will take that as my fate..

And what I want to say, thanx for her for being honest with me after couple of years..