New Beginning...

I can't believe it's been over 2 years since my last post...I have missed writing so much--SO much has changed in the last 2 years....We are now a family of 5! Can you believe it? Our journey to starting a family was so hard and dark, but the Lord had a perfect plan laid out for us that we just couldn't see at the time. The newest member of our family since my last post is our sweet little boy, Finn(18 months). He is the sweetest little thing ever! I'm in love with his red hair and secretly pray it stays red. He smiles all the time, makes monster sounds constantly, has a mouth full of teeth, and loves his "blanket". 

Life is busy-Some days feel like they will never end, but yet when I blink, we are in a different week, month, year-Time flies. The girls are growing up SO fast. Annie Rice is 7! She is Miss Personality, doesn't meet a stranger, and has such a sweet spirit. She is so much like me-She cleans just like me and loves to make up beds. Actually, she doesn't even sleep under her sheets because she doesn't want to mess them up! I call her my commercial queen. Earlier today, I was scratching my arm and she said, "Mommy, you need some gold bond relief. It's supposed to be the best for itches."  She literally memories commercials and when we are grocery shopping will fight me on the brands I choose to get:) 

Maggie will be 5 in 2 months! She is my mischievous, curious one! She can be very shy around people, but when she finally talks, she TALKS! She keeps me on my toes constantly but is also my snuggler. She loves to hug or be next to you. Sometimes she will say, "Mommy, I just want you." It doesn't get better than that:)

I feel so blessed to be a mom to these 3 sweet kiddos. Some days are hard, some days are easy, some days I cry, some days I can't stop laughing...each day is different and we are constantly going through different seasons as they(and I) grow and change. The path the Lord has laid out for me with homeschooling/parenting isn't easy and some days I want to throw in the towel, but I'm thankful that His grace gets me through each day. Writing has always been a huge part of me and it's made me look at things in a different light than when I just keep it inside. I'm not sure where this blog will go, the topics, how often I'll post, etc but I'm thankful for this outlet. I'm thankful for each of you sweet readers, who even when I stopped writing, still reached out to me, followed me on Instagram or Facebook. I'm looking forward to this 'New Beginning'. 

PS-Kaz proof read this and said I was rusty and that I still had a "country grammar" 

Ha! I'll get better;)

reading...

Annie Rice LOVES books. She always has. She carries books around with her everywhere. She sleeps with books at night. I've actually caught onto her trick that she hides books in the sides of her bed, so if I ever take books away from her at night, she still has some "hidden" from me that she can get! The other night I went in her room and found her sleeping on 8 open books, and I counted 23 books in her bed! 

Awhile back, a friend told me about the Disney Princess Me Reader. I knew Annie Rice would like it so I got it for her birthday. She carries the Me Reader around everywhere with her! She loved it so much, I got her another one a few weeks ago with different books. Over labor day, we were tucking her into bed and she asked if she could read us a story. We said yes, and she picked Tangled. We were in shock as she proceeded to read us every page word for word. Actually, she had memorized every single page! She has memorized 10 books because of the Me Reader. Last night when we got home from church, I got her out of the van and she started reciting Cinderella to me. So we decided to try to get it on video. She's very shy about it, so I had to read parts of the pages to get her going, but this video makes my heart so happy. Especially the beginning and the end. She made sure to say, "Disney's Pixar Cinderella, and they lived happily ever after." 

The Me Reader is an awesome toy for your kids if they love books! I've already gotten her another one for Christmas with 8 new books. 

my most important role as a mom....

Being a mom, has been one of the most wonderful blessings the Lord has ever given me. I love my girls more than I could ever express. Sure, I have my moments of frustration over disobedience, melt downs, etc but being a mom brings so much JOY to my life. In our struggle to start a family, I never really thought much about the day to day life as a mom....I wanted a child. I wanted a family. I knew how we would raise our children, but I never gave much thought to the day to day living until I became a mom. I think any parent wants their child to be “smart”. As a parents of little ones, most moms teach their kids the ABCs, colors, shapes, etc...It’s easy to get caught up in if my child is “educationally” where she should be. We fill their minds with books and games, and shows that they love but also that helps teach them. We teach them about animals, the sun, moon, trees, etc. I’ve done the same thing. Annie Rice loves to learn and we spend time each day working on these “education milestones” to ensure she learns them....but lately, I’ve been realizing that there’s something so much more important that I want to tell her about everyday. As a mom, wife, and woman the most important thing in my life is my relationship with Jesus Christ. I’m not perfect and I mess up and make mistakes everyday. There are days my time in the word is so good, I wish I had more time...then there are other days where I have 2-3 minutes...then unfortunately, there are days where my time in the word gets pushed off, BUT I’m thankful that no matter how much time I spend in the word each day, the Holy Spirit is there to guide me throughout the day in prayer, christian music, and how he even works in my life through these little miracles called children. Yesterday, I was reminded of sometime so simple, yet something I forget so often....

We were walking down the isle in Wal-Mart. Annie Rice and Maggie were both in the buggy, while I was looking in the craft section. I was in deep thought trying to find what I needed, when Annie Rice yelled, “Look mommy, there’s a cross.” Normally, I probably would have said, “you’re right, that is a cross” and started back searching for what I needed...but hearing her voice, her excitement, I simply couldn’t stop there. I looked into her big blue eyes, and said Annie Rice, “what does the cross mean?” She said, “It means Jesus died for me and I will never be sad again.” Again, I could have stopped there but I couldn’t...I said, “Annie Rice that’s right. Jesus died on the cross for you, me, Maggie, and everyone you see because He loves us so much”...I continued to tell her how when we disobey or have little attitudes, those are times that make God sad because we are sinning. And the reason Jesus died, was because of our sin. She looked up at me giggling saying, “Mommy, Jesus loves me SO MUCH.” I said, “He sure does sweet girl. He sure does.” Annie Rice is 3. She knows the ABC’s, her colors, the spelling of her name, etc. She can learn anything someone teaches her...I strive everyday to teach her the things she needs to know..but I was reminded yesterday in that 5 minutes conversation that the most important thing I need to share with her on a daily basis is the gospel story. I am CALLED to do this. It’s not her sunday school teachers responsibility, or her VBS worker, or anyone else. It’s my job to teach her about Jesus. Not just the bible stories we read at night, or the children’s songs that we sing about Jesus..It’s our responsibility as parents to teach them the GOSPEL on a daily basis. In every way we possibly can. I’m thankful that the Lord promoted my heart to not just pass that moment by because so easily I get caught up in what I’m doing in the moment, that I miss or just hear “the words” she is saying, without truly listening. PARENTS, MOMS...LISTEN to your kids. Look for opportunities to share the message of the cross on a daily basis. It’s not just a one time conversation. It should be a daily conversation in our home, in some shape or form. Not only do her little hears need to hear this, but my big ears need to be reminded of this simple truth EVERYDAY. 

Acts 1:8

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth. 

most memorable vacation ever...

Well, our beach vacation this year was certainly the most memorable vacation I've ever had, AND one I will never forget! Annie Rice was so excited to go the beach...She still had a great time, but I wish she could have at least PLAYED on the beach! Yep, we spent the whole week AT the beach, but not on the beach. We didn't even get to walk on the beach because the weather was so cold, nasty, and rainy, AND WE ALL got the stomach bug. Not just any stomach bug...Some got the 5 day bug, some got the 24hr bug, and some got the 36 hr bug. I bought 2 beach buckets on Monday, and unfortunately, everyone used them this week for throw up buckets;( It's probably the first vacation, where I came back with only 1 load of laundry, because we didn't get to wear any clothes we took. BUT despite the challenges, we did still have a good time even if we did stay at home on the couch most of the time:) I was reminded of this verse all week...

Proverbs 16:9 "We can plan our steps, but the LORD determines our steps."(LTV)

 We attempted the beach...but didn't make it but after the wind storm. These pictures tell you how bad the wind was. 

crazy Friday...

Well, this week has proven to be a crazy one! We spent all week cleaning the house like crazy people to get ready for a 60th surprise birthday party for my mom! It forced me to finish unpacking and finally put everything in it's place. Thursday night after the party, we took a deep breath, thinking the craziness of the week was OVER...We were WRONG! Let me set the scene...

Friday morning, my parents took the girls along with our van to town, while Kaz and I went to the closing of our new house! After the closing[SO EXCITING by the way], I called my dad to see where they wanted to meet...What he said to me was a bunch of mumble, and I could tell he was nervous and something wasn't right. He told me to get to Wal-Mart as fast as I could, that my van was in the middle of the parking lot, and he wasn't sure if he put it in P. When we pulled up to the scene, I wasn't sure exactly what happened...I couldn't figure out why my car was in the middle of the lane, and not in a parking spot. We found out that, a lady pulled in front of the van[while it was in park AND in a parking spot] and instead of hitting the brake, she hit the gas...She hit the gas so hard, it pushed the van all the way back into the driving lane, causing her to come through our previous parking spot. A good 25-30 feet that the van was pushed..THANKFULLY, no one was in the car OR AROUND the car. It could have been a even worse scene than it was. We definitely have a lot to be thankful for! There is a lot of damage, but it can be repaired or replaced! I felt so bad for the lady who was responsible, because it was an accident, and I knew she was shaken up. Here's the catch: We are leaving for a week long vacation in the morning, so we knew we needed to get a rental vehicle fast. Being a small town, the rental company only had a truck, but thankfully there was a SUV in Florence that we could get. Yesterday was a crazy day, BUT the Lord's blessing continued to rain down on us, even in a bad situation. I can't believe I wasn't upset...I really wasn't. I was THANKFUL. 

The good news, we now own a house:) We are so blessed!

Now, we are off for a week of vacation. No emails or blogging for me this next week. I'm spending as much time with family as I can! 

these 2 girls of mine...

These are a few of my favorite videos from the past few weeks...

Maggie starting to army crawl..although, that only lasted about 2 days before the full on crawling started! Annie Rice was watching Princess Poppiseed[VeggieTales] in the background.

This was a BIG moment for Annie Rice. It was her Easter party at school...BUT what's so big about it is her JUMPING! We worked on her jumping in therapy for a good 3-4 months and she can finally do it! 

 Princess Annie Rice playing soccer. She set Kaz straight and told him that in soccer "We use our hands". Ha! 

One of my favorites. Annie Rice singing(yelling) Hosana! One of her favorite songs! 

the last few weeks...

Life just hasn't slowed down...I THINK, I'm finally almost settled in and getting used to "normal daily" routines. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind! I've felt like all I've been doing is unpacking, cleaning, laundry, changing diapers, making bottles, sleeping, and repeat. 

These 2 girls of mine are growing entirely TOO FAST! I can't even believe that Maggie is almost 7 months old and Annie Rice will be 3 soon! Maggie started crawling a few weeks ago and hasn't stopped! She's getting into everything! Our first project at the new house was going to be the kitchen, but because she is full on crawling, we had to change that to built ins in the living room to hide all the cords! Annie Rice is learning so much every day! We pray over the girls at night for their future, relationship with the Lord, future husbands, etc...We constantly pray that these girls will come to know the Lord at an early age. Lately, Annie Rice has asked to hear about Jesus. Melts my heart every time. I'm so thankful for these opportunities to share more and more with her, and pray that continues. They are both such a blessing! 

We are going on vacation next week to the beach for a week, and I can't wait! Annie Rice has been asking for the last 2 months if today is the day we are going to beach! She will be so excited when she ask that question and I actually say yes to it! 

Here's a few pictures from the past few weeks as my way of "catching up".

 We love being right across from the lake! 

 Visiting our 2 favorite men at the nursing home...Mr Billy and Mr AP. 

 Annie Rice loves being so close to her 2 cousins. 

 Kaz working on the built ins. 

 We love lunch dates with aunt Chris and uncle Ryan. 

 Annie Rice went skating for the first time this past weekend! The skating rink was my favorite place growing up! 

 Maggie has 2 front teeth coming in! 

 This one will eat anything and everything! She wants to eat so much baby food, our pediatrician told me to cut her formula intake in half and give her as much baby food as she will eat! She LOVES to eat! 

some BIG changes for our family...

You may remember this post from last week...It was a post about how much I was struggling waiting to hear from the Lord. Well, we heard...and have some big news to share. Some very exciting news, and some bittersweet news..

These last 2 1/2 years, the Lord has been working in ways I can’t even begin to explain or understand. He has blessed me with more than I could have ever imagined. Last year specifically, the Lord did some really big things that we are just now starting to understand...

Around April of last year, the Lord really laid adoption on our hearts again. We started the process with Bethany. Around that time, we also started looking at houses and we found a house in Summerville, in our dream neighborhood for this area, and made an offer. We prayed that if it wasn’t the Lord’s will, He would shut the door and about a month into He did. We couldn’t understand why at the time..Everything “seemed” perfect BUT a few months down the road when miss Maggie came along, we started seeing that He had better plans for us than just a house. Towards the end of last year, Kaz’s dreaming and planning of starting His own company came to a hault as well. This was something he’s wanted for as long as I can remember...Last year, he prayed and planned for a business. Around November, we both no longer felt a peace from the Lord on it. It was disheartening for Kaz and for me. He had planned for so long...prayed for so long, and then the Lord took that away. Another really weird thing that happened last year, was with my photography business. I’ve always said that I would do photography as long as the Lord allowed me too. Having kids, has changed how much I want to work, but I really enjoy photography. I enjoy my work. In years past, I’ve been overwhelmed at the amount of weddings that I’ve booked. It seemed like last year, the Lord wasn’t allowing me to get inquiries about weddings, and the ones that I was getting were for the exact same dates that I was already booked. I didn’t worry about this because in my mind I thought this was the Lord’s way of telling me He didn’t want me to work as much...but going into 2013, I had about 8 weddings booked, compared to 35 in 2012. We kept pushing along and praying for the Lord’s will, and what happened next was honestly something neither one of us ever thought as a possibility. The Lord opened an unexpected door...A door that is starting to make sense of everything that has happened in the last year. In January, the Lord opened a door for a job in Hartsville SC[my hometown]. From the day Kaz applied, until he found out, it was exactly a month. A month full of prayers, fears, excitement. I’ve never thought moving back home was a possibility and my biggest fear when he applied was him not getting it, because I was so excited about the possibility. The Lord has been working out things this past month that I can’t even begin to describe...BUT Kaz got the job. He will be working for Duke Energy[formerly Progess Energy]. Originally, we thought the job wouldn’t start until May/June, BUT he will be starting in 3 weeks. I’m so extremely proud of him. 

This new chapter in our life brings so much joy and excitement, but also sadness. We have made so many wonderful friends in Charleston. Over this last year, I have become such good friends with 2 special ladies[Jennifer and Marie-picture posted below]. We have become the kind of friends that no topic is off limits, we can show up at each others house at anytime, uninvited. Every week, we watch each other kids to run errands, appointments, etc. It’s become a special friendship, not only for us, but for our kids. I’m sad for Annie Rice in that. I know she will make new friends, but she talks about Brynn, Gaines, and Walt everyday, and she sees them several times a week. Brynn has become her BFF...their giggles of excitement for one another makes my heart so happy.  That’s the part that makes me the most sad...is her missing out on those special friendships. I know she make new friends, and we will still see our old friends, but they will greatly be missed. I think I have cried about this everyday..and when I start, it’s hard to stop. We have been blessed with some special friends. 

With my photography business, I now realize the reason I didn’t book nearly as many weddings...Because we will be 3 hours away and the Lord knew I couldn’t drive to Charleston every weekend for weddings! The really neat part is over this last month, I’ve been contacted for so many weddings in Hartsville. More than I ever have in the last  4 years I’ve been doing photography. It’s been pretty neat, and the Lord is working it all out for His Glory. My clients in Charleston have been unbelievable supporters to me. I couldn’t have started my business and grown it so much without the support of everyone and the Lord. I have had the best clients. With this move, I will no longer be working “full time” in Charleston. I will still do weddings in Charleston from occasion to occasion, but for the most part, my business will be in Hartsville/Florence. 

This is a really big change for our family. I’m excited and scared at the same time. So many details have to be worked out considering we are moving in less than 3 weeks, but I know the Lord is already working away. What He’s done in the last month, has been more than I could have ever imagined, and I’m excited for the journey ahead. 

[Jennifer and Marie]

 Annie Rice and Brynn

issues of the heart...

A lot has been going on in our life lately...The Lord has been doing some really big things and we have been in a season of waiting and praying... 

When we started this process, we knew that a lot of prayer needed to go into this. We felt the Lord calling us to give up soda, as a way of fasting and praying. I’m not going to lie, it was very hard at first because I’m a coke zero junkie. Some people carry around bottles of water...in my bottle, there’s always coke zero. We made the commitment to drink no soda[with 1 date exception] UNTIL we heard on this matter. Last Monday, we were in week 3. I’d been doing good with the no soda, but you know after awhile, it’s easy to NOT DO SOMETHING and FORGET why you are doing it...So let me tell you a little about last week for me... 

Let me just say one thing before I start...When I have fasted in the past, I never talked about it. I think that it’s a private thing between oneself and the Lord...but this time has been different because I really believe the Lord has called me to “share” what I have been LEARNING through this time of fasting. I’m sharing not to bring any glory to myself, BUT I’m sharing because I truly believe this is a life lesson that HE has been teaching me. 

Last Sunday... 

Kaz and Annie Rice went to church, while I stayed home with Maggie[she had a really bad cold]. While they were at church, I did my bible study at home. I really felt convicted about giving up facebook, instagram, and pinterest for awhile. That’s a really BIG thing for me. I’M ALWAYS, always on my phone. Checking facebook throughout the day, posting instagram pictures, and looking at pinterest when I’m sitting at home, or riding in the car. Before going to bed, I lay awake scrolling down the phone...If I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I will usually look at it, and in the morning too. It’s been pretty sad, but it’s continuously grown as a habit, one could say. OR it could be that these things have become “functional Gods” in my life. In biblical terms a functional God is something other than God that we set out heart on (Luke 12:29; 11 Cor. 10:9), that motivates us (1 Cor. 4:5), that masters and rules us (Ps. 119:133; Eph 5:5), or that we trust, fear, or serve (Isa. 42:17; Matt 6:24; Luke 12:4-5)... When Kaz got home, I told him what the Lord had revealed, and He committed to giving facebook and instagram up as well. I knew this would be hard... 

On Monday morning, I was having my bible study time and the Lord revealed ANOTHER thing He wanted me to give up...TV. My first thought was really, why must I give up TV too? Let me give you a little background information...Towards the beginning of last year, the Lord really convicted me of my TV shows and music that I listen too. He laid such heavy convictions on my heart about this last year, that I cut our cable package down A LOT to include the tv channels that I watched pretty much everything on[mostly reality..BRAVO especially]. So in my mind last Monday morning, I thought, why in the world would I need to give up TV. I’ve already given so much of it up. I don’t watch that many shows..I watch or record maybe 6-7 shows a week. In my mind, that’s good compared to the 20 I used too! BUT the Lord kept working and I kept fighting. I told Kaz that I would do this BUT AFTER I watched the season premiere of Dallas last Monday night. I would not miss it..how selfish? 

So all of last week, I gave up TV...Well, until Thursday. I last 2 days. I got so mad at the Lord on Thursday, BECAUSE I was tired of waiting. Is that not the silliest thing you have ever heard? Because I got mad, and wanted this to be in MY timing, I got mad and had an attitude. I let it slowly effect the next couple days and by yesterday, I was not only watching TV, but checking facebook, and drinking soda. I HAD FORGOTTEN JUST HOW MUCH THE LORD HAD DONE, AND WHY HE WAS CALLING ME TO GIVE UP THESE THINGS...Yes, it may not be “normal” to the world, BUT He doesn’t call me to be normal in the eyes of the world, He calls me to be obedient. Instead of being obedient, I went running back to those things that provide a false sense of comfort. This morning in my bible study, all of these convictions hit me at once. How selfish I am and just how sinful my heart really is...In the end, it’s not about how long I wait, what I give up, or how I succeed and fail at it...It’s about the work that HE is doing in and through me during this waiting time and whether or not I choose to use that time I had in the past spent on facebook/TV on just some “other thing” , or IF I use it to glorify Him. I don’t know WHY I haven’t learned this lesson yet, BUT it’s NOT ABOUT the THING I’m waiting on...It’s about the things that HE is doing through the waiting. He’s not asking me to give up all of these things as punishment, it’s just the opposite. I know and have to constantly remind myself, that He’s doing a work through these things that is far greater than I could ever ask or imagine..He’s working out incredible blessings for my life. The path may be squiggly..I may “forget again” and run to other things, but I’m thankful that my God is a God who forgives, correct, and reminds....AND LOVES NO MATTER WHAT. His love never fails...He never gives up on me. 

Psalm 130: 5-6 

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word, I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.

a big girl room....

After Christmas, Kaz and I came back to Charleston, and Annie Rice stayed with my parents for a few days. We had planned to start on her “big girl room” during that time and just paint. Kaz asked to take things really slow[that’s not me at all! When I have a project in mind, I want it done ASAP]. BUT I agreed and we had just planned to paint the room while she was my parents. We started painting that night, and it wasn’t very longer after when Kaz asked if we could have her whole room done by the time she got back home:) He was just as excited as I was. I decided that with her big girl room we were going to do a complete makeover! New colors, simpler design, and less clutter. We still have 1 more project to do on one of the walls, and I’ll be sure to post pictures when we do that. Right now, her walls are blank, which is kind of nice considering how crowded they were before:) 

I bought the bedding at Target, the curtains off of Amazon, we repainted her old dresser from black to white, and I made the bow holder with a frame and ribbon from hobby lobby. 

Her big girl room was something that i have been thinking about for months...It was something I was in NO HURRY to do. My pediatrician recommended her being in a big girl bed by the time she started climbing out of the crib[she never did] or by the time she was 3. We honestly could have waited a little longer, but I knew that I didn’t want to start her in a big girl bed in a few months when wedding season starts up for me. 

I honestly didn’t know what to expect. Every person teaches their child something different. We have a lot of friends who have been apart of Growing Kids Gods Way, and we’ve really liked a lot of the ways they parent their children. Before Christmas, I read Todderwise and one of the things it recommends is having the child stay in bed and ask before they get out of bed. Loved the idea[we have friends who do this and it’s been great] so I definitely wanted to do that, but along with that I had ordered[and done a ton of research] on toddler clocks. I ordered My Tot Clock, to go along with Annie’s switch to a big girl bed. I was nervous and had no idea what to expect...We told Annie Rice several times that when she came back home she was going to have a big girl room! She was SO EXCITED! Since she didn’t pick any of the decorations out with me, I decided that I would take her the day she came home to pick out some “big girl pj’s”. Even though the pj’s are the same as all of her others ones, to this day when she puts on the pj’s we got that night, she calls them her big girl “jammers”[that’s a country word for pajamas]. 

Annie Rice LOVED her room and was so happy when she saw it! She climbed right up in the bed. It was the cutest thing. She took her bear, aka beer, and put him under the covers, pointed her finger at him and said “Go night night beer. Stay in bed and don’t say mine.” I couldn’t help but laugh:)

That night before she went to sleep, we went over several times this process of a big girl bed. We told her that while her clock was blue she was to stay in bed. We told her when she woke up the next morning AND her clock was yellow then she could call for mommy. When mommy came to the door, she could ask to get out of bed. My parents were here for that first night, and I know they were skeptical, but Annie Rice did amazing! She got out of bed 1x and since that first night she has stayed in bed ever since! It’s been almost 4 weeks since she started sleeping in her big girl bed. We put her down at 730pm and I set the clock to turn yellow at 730am. Most days she will sleep until 7-830 and the days she wakes up at 7, she stays in bed until it’s yellow and most days well past 730. I put a few books by her bed and she has a few stuffed animals and she will either lay in bed and talk or sing, or play with her books or animals. Nap time has been the same way. In the beginning, every time she would lay down we went over and over what she was to do, and would ask her questions so she could tell us how the process was going to work. Now, we usually go over it once a day and she does really good! This transition with Annie Rice has been a lot easier than I expected as a result of prayer, the Tot clock, and the wisdom from Toddlerwise. When we have traveled to my parents house, we pack the clock with us, and follow the same system. 

Below are a few pictures of her big girl room...

BEFORE....

 AFTER..

 I personally LOVE these curtains:)

 bow holder: I picked 3 different ribbons that I liked and staple gunned them to the back of the frame:)