I have always been insecure of how I look. Maybe this is partly because I hang out a lot with friends who are models and stylists and I sometimes feel a little awkward when the topic is all about fashion and beauty. Because I was never that kind of girl. I always dress for comfort and rarely put makeup on, heck I even hate shopping -- it was just not my thing.
Anyway, over the past couple of months I have gotten used to people coming up to me and tell me how fat I've become. At first I really don't mind, because it is true. I really did gain a LOT of weight since 2009 and most people who knew me back in grade school and high school were surprised to see me because I used to be buto't balat before.
However, gaining weight and telling me that I am close to obesity is a different story. Being insecure that I am, you can then imagine my reaction when someone commented on my Facebook photos and said that I am overly fat and that my older pics are better than the recent ones. I was never really that sensitive on things like that (because like I said, I really DID gain weight), but I guess it's a little sickening to hear it every now and then and I find it rude to sort of slap it to my face every chance they get.
I am "too fat?" Seriously?? I may not be skinny, yes, but I'm not fat either. The media may bombard us with Kim Chiu-thin bodies but I am not falling for that kind of craze. I have curves. And it is irritating to think that there are people out there who consider my fuller figure to be "too fat." I love to eat, and maybe if I lose the rice -- my waistline will go down to 26 instead of the current 29, but I am not OBSESSED to achieve that goal. Bottomline is, I am not in perfect shape, but I am not at my worst.
And as much as I wish I could rock today's fashion like a size 2 or size 3 model, I don't actually want to be skinny. I mean, do I look the way I want to look? No, I don't. But given this or my figure five years ago, I'd gladly refuse to turn back time. I may not have the ideal body that everyone drools over, but I am OKAY with it. So I don't get it why some people seem to have a problem with it.
That’s enough for me. I’ve spent too much of my life putting myself down. I’m not going to do it anymore.
6 comments:
I can so relate. I was skinnier in college than when I went to eTel. Damn you Micky D's.
Omg eTel made me this way too!! Haha
There's nothing wrong with gaining weight, Cuz... Believe me, I have too. People's bodies are different. I used to be able to eat whatever I want, when I wanted and stayed within the same weight range for years.. Finally after I reached a certain age, it stayed on... Yes, it's frustrating that I can't wear the same clothes and maybe I don't look good in certain things, but if people tell me I'm fat, I seriously tell them to go f*ck themselves because I'm happy the way I am. I don't judge their flaws and for others to think they don't have any, well, they're just in denial.
Lately, I've been considering different job options which require me to be more physical, and in all honesty, I do have to lose a little bit of weight and get in shape. However, it's presented me a good challenge and progress is being made. It's allowed me to approach it with a feeling of determination and sense of accomplishment that I haven't had in a very long time. Those that love you and care for you will cheer you on regardless of your weight. Surround yourself with that positive energy, because I promise you, it'll make everything worth it. Stay strong Cousin. :)
Aww thanks for the words of encouragement Ate Nikki! Very well said.
Much love,
Kat :*
Your health is far more important than your size, if you exercise and stay fit that is far better than if you just cut calories and skinny down. Besides, to each his own many people prefer curves over straight lines.
Yes I agree! Thank you!
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