Absence.

Reminds me of Romeo and Juliet scene after the party at the Capulet's mansion,
only in absence of the main characters.
If the two main characters are missing,
does that mean the main ingredient is to?
After all, it is only a classic of the greatest love tragedy,
written by William Shakespeare.

"A brilliant fool, a genius fool,
but still a fool,"

Je Taime, a short film by John Wayne

Punca Neurotik

Finding You.

We fight,
in different war times
and war zones
with (ir)rationales.

We run,
in fields of flowers
and insects
with inconsistencies.

We walk,
in the breezy weather
along the mighty ocean
with Life.

We Live,
in objective subjectivities
and bright darkness
with the World.

We climb, and then Fall.
We cage, and be Free.
We live, and let Live.

It is the journey, not the destination.

Night Time

It's the night time.

But no. I don't need to meet you somewhere. I always have your company, not in body.

You're me, and I'm undefined. I don't know you, and since you're me, it also means that I do not know myself. Hence, undefined. Empty, yet complete.

I can have plenty dreams of us going for long drives, taking turns controlling the wheel. But that remains just.

You're like the tree, flourished but rootless.

Lovers in Japan

"The minute I heard my first love story;
I started looking for you,
not knowing how blind I was.

Lovers don't finally meet somewhere,
they're in each other all along."
Rumi

Suddenly it all made sense, at least to me.

In Perspective

I need to get back in perspective,
you fluctuate my Self.

Constant Variable.

"You're very vague. It's again and again. It gets more vague after that," my tiny Bebe.

I thought that was a very clever line. Because without being vivid, one is uncertain. When uncertain, we can't move forward. And that's one of the fluctuations in communicating.

I am your ultimate constant variable.

Unidentified Übermensch

You choked on your cigarette, not that you usually smoke. But tonight was exceptional. Maybe it was your first experimental taste even.

I only saw you from a distant because that is what we are. I question your behaviour in my head only because I know you are capable of so much more.

I panicked. I knew you were calling for help, but I wasn't acknowledged of the causes. I fret, I couldn't assist and I didn't know if I could. Circumstances wouldn't allow.

Maybe then, the cigarette does justice to you of some sort.

But I couldn't adapt. In my head, you're the Übermensch.

Objective on Subjectivism?

I still don't like telegraphese writing. Or typing. And it has been years since I last say this. What's the rationale behind excessive usage of fullstops again? Or shorten every possible word until it reads as a nonsensical context. Even Mama does that.

How then am I embracing subjectivity and diversity? Maybe then it is I, who is incapable to adapt to diversity.

Iceberg si Freud.

Das Es, Das Ich, Das Überich


Pergi baca Freud dan Jung,
then you can sell me your Souls.
I stress on the metaphysics -
they're much more,
subjective, valuable,
inclined to the Self.

I like deep conversations too. It's near to selling me your souls.
Ceh macam ruangan mencari pacar.

Human.

From "The Little Book of Big Excuses" by Addie Johnson.

From my lone outings in search of Inspirations and Muse.
I go to the bookstore, sit in between my favourite section,
and read for free. I'm cheapskate that way.

Turn my head.

Nak hilangkan diri, boleh?

The Art of War, Sun Tzu.

Or doth he?

Duality oleh Nadrah Mustafa

Aku seperti engkau -
Individu di dunia/budaya Kolektif.
Kita berbeza, tapi kita serupa.
Yang mana dominasi, manipulatif,
pembolehubah, pemangkin?

Aku punyai bernih yang gemar timbul/tenggelam -
Entiti kontra.
Bukan datangkan hasil,
Malah dimamahnya aku.
Simbiotik.

Aku perlukan ilmu Inspirasi bertubi-tubi oleh
para Rasional, Penjaga, Artisan dan Idealis.
Barisan Individu Intelek yang menjana konsep Kolektif
(keduniaan, kehidupan, kesatuan?)

Aku kehilangan Diri.
Inspirasi bisa meyakinkan "the Self",
atau mungkin "the sense of Self".
Seperti Pemangkin.
Tapi tidak hadir.

Aku seperti Kita zaman dahulu kala,
Di pertengahan lautan, (swallowed in the sea)
mudah di antara perantaraan. Kegemilangan?
Tapi semuanya dengan bayaran lumayan/konsekuensi:
jurang perbedaan dan kesatuan meningkat.
Walau bersatu (merdeka?), tetapi masih terperangkap
dalam keinginan.

Lopong, tapi berinti.

Selami perigi Minda yang tidak berdasar.

Kerana seperti aku,
kau juga hanyut dalam proses
asimilasi ideologi kehidupan Dunia
dan ideologi Diri.