Donuts and Gratitude. And Feeling Inadequate. But Mainly Donuts.

The expat life is generally awesome and exciting, and often somewhat perk-filled. As an ex-expat I do sometimes miss that awesome, exciting, perk-filled life (I especially miss the someone-else-paying-our-electricity-bill perk...). However, there is one big thing about being an ex-expat that I am very grateful for. And it's such a big thing that I think it makes up for missing all the good stuff that comes from living in another country. 

When I was living in Seoul, my family were a nine hour plane ride away. I managed to get back to Melbourne pretty regularly, so it was okay. But there were times when it really wasn't okay. I remember getting a call from my sister a few years ago, when we in the Korean countryside somewhere, skiing. Our Dad had had a dizzy spell and a fall. He'd been working on a loft bed when he fell (he's a - now retired, sort of - builder), so it was quite a big fall. He was in hospital and they didn't really know what had caused the dizziness and I was worried and a bit scared. I felt frustration and helplessness too, at not being there. And I felt guilt - my sister's a pretty busy lady, and she was dealing with all of that stuff whilst I was a millions miles away. Skiing. 

The annoying thing about getting older is that your parents get older too. And whilst my Mum and my Step-Dad and Dad are all in pretty good health, that phone call from my sister really made me think about being so far from home. I think it's something every expat wrestles with at some point - weighing up the benefits and joy of living abroad with the guilt and heartache you feel at being so far from the rest of your family. You feel the distance more as your folks get older, I think.

These day I live in Sydney and my family are only a 90 minute plane ride away and that is something I am so grateful for. I recently flew down for a weekend, partly to hang out with with my family, partly to eat donuts, and partly to take my Dad to a few specialist appointments. It was the first time I've been able to go with him to these appointments, to ask questions and hear what the doctors were saying to him. And I was grateful for that. Selfishly, it felt proactive (not helpless) and reassuring. The world isn't going to end tomorrow, provided this pill is taken and that thing is monitored. 

On the flip side, sometimes you get serious FOMO as an expat. Sometimes it feels like your family is doing all this cool stuff, all this exciting positive stuff, and you are not part of it (cue violins). If your brother graduates or your sister gets a big promotion or your Mum has her first art exhibition, it's not always easy to find the time or the money to get back home. But now, it's pretty easy for me to jump on a plane and feel a bit more a part of things. Which is good, really good. Although it can also make one feel just a little bit inadequate... 

The weekend I was in Melbourne my brother-in-law was in the midst of successfully opening yet another delicious business (see donuts) and he'd just received an advanced copy of his cookbook (which I am so excited about getting my hands on - I had a quick flick through and wanted to immediately cook everything I saw...). Meanwhile, my sister was finalising the photos and words for her third book (yep, third) whilst doing all her usual amazingly amazing commission work. Oh, and she launched the home wares label of which she's the creative director and pretty much broke the internet. Even my Mum had managed to learn how to play Big Yellow Taxi on the ukelele.

Meanwhile, I was feeling pleased with myself for blogging more than once a month and getting to the bottom of the ironing pile the week before. Helloooooo inadequacy. See, there is a dark side to having such wildly talented and driven relatives only a plane hop away. 

But I wouldn't have it any other way. Sickness, health, achievement, inadequacy and donuts - I'm so grateful it's all just a state away.

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*Disclosure: As part of Kidspot's Voices of 2014 competition I've been lent a super awesome Olympus OM-D E-M10 for a few months. I'll be writing three challenge posts during that time and I'll have a chance to win some really awesome stuff. I'll be telling you a bit about the camera in each post too.

You all know I adore my DSLR, right? So the question is - am I loving this compact version? 

Well yes, I am. I already told you last time about how lightweight it is, which means I've been carrying it with me everywhere (even to donut pitstops on the way to doctors appointments...). Now I want to talk to you about the clarity of the images. Which is pretty incredible.

The OM-D E-M10 has a number of fancy things that lead to super fancy, super clean images (a lot of these have come from the flagship E-M1). First up, there's the amazing image stabilisation (check out this video to see a fairly dramatic comparison between having the image stabilisation off and on). Side note - kind of makes the camera even more awesome for video than I realised! Note to self - make a video. 

Then there's the 16 megapixel LiveMOS sensor. Sounds a bit tech-y but this is basically the thing that lets you shoot clean, crisp images in all kinds of light conditions. See the roaring fire photo below, for example. Clean? Check. Crisp? Check. Lowlight? You betcha. And lastly there's the TruePic VII processor, which is super advanced (and yep, pinched from the E-M1). This helps you achieve sharp photos at all ends of the f-stop spectrum. Nice. 

Still not sure about image clarity? Check out the pics below (full size image at top, zoomed in crop at bottom). It kind of blew my mind. Just look at the sharpness of those petals, the detail is really quite incredible. Makes me realise that my DSLR is basically a relic in terms of image capturing technology...

My First…Rebellion

I'm playing along with the hilariously talented Kerri Sackville today. She's started a new blogging challenge about firsts, and today's theme is 'My First Rebellion'. She's written about her's here. But read mine first so you don't make unfair comparisons. Okay, good, thanks…

Well technically this isn't quite my first act of rebellion. Although I was a pretty well behaved kid there had been little things before this. The odd bit of port pinched from the parents stash. Sneaking out at night for a moonlit walk*. That final week of year twelve when we staged daily events to protest the banning of 'muck-up day'.

But that all just seemed like harmless fun, and it was done as a group. It's easy to rebel when you're part of a pack; when you feel that truth, beauty and your god given right to throw eggs on the final day of high school is on your side. 

No, my first real rebellion was a solitary act. In a strange way it was kind of the first tangible sign that I had my own thoughts about the world and the way it worked. That I'd considered all the very worthy, very important stuff my parents taught me growing up and had reached a slightly** different conclusion. 

My first real rebellion was getting a job at McDonald's. 

When I was little, my Mum and Step-Dad were what you might call hippies. Middle class sure, but a very-left-leaning, grow-your-own, build-your-own, change-the-world kind of middle class.

We're talking an early childhood of communes, marijuana plants in the backyard, and friends who built mud huts in Warrandyte way before the word 'sustainable' was part of everyday PR speak. On weekends we made banners and marched for peace or workers rights or both. On school holidays we drove to Nimbin and fought off leeches and hungry baby goats (aggressive little critters). Or we got dragged to festivals in the middle of the Victorian bush, where there were teepees and nudity and mud. And drumming circles. (I still have nightmares). 

You can probably gather from all this that McDonald's was a very dirty word in our household. It was a sign of all that was wrong with the world - greedy capitalism, factory farming, American cultural imperialism, wastefulness, and just plain bad food. We did not eat there, ever.

(Side note - on the other hand, my Dad took us to Red Rooster every other Friday night and I ate pineapple fritters and drank coke! Coke! It was so great!) 

So I was 18 and studying at Swinburne Uni, and I wanted some extra cash, and I heard that McDonald's Hawthorn was hiring. How convenient, I thought. So I applied and I got the job.*** Cue general ridicule and mirth from the family. They laughed at the uniform, the terminology, the 'training'. 

But I was earning a decent hourly rate and kind of having fun. And I turned out to be pretty awesome at the whole fast food thing. I got little promotions and I won some awards. One year, I won 'Drive Thru Crew Member of the Year'. Go me. And I remember xmas day, my Mum and her best friend rolling about laughing, literally in tears of laughter about this award. And it pissed me off. Because by that stage I'd realised that my silly casual job at Maccas was turning out to be something more. 

As a shy introvert, working at McDonald's gave me confidence. That job taught me how to make small talk, how to deal with all kinds of people and situations I'd never encountered before. It showed me I could be witty, funny even (who would have thought!); and that working in a team didn't always suck. 

As I continued with my studies I continued to work for them, and slowly, slowly I showed my folks that McDonald's maybe wasn't as evil as they thought. As a manager I helped give training and a career to kids who may have slipped through the cracks otherwise. Later, McDonald's gave me my first 'real' job in the area I'd studied to work in. And it's been thanks to McDonald's that we've enjoyed the past six amazing years of overseas adventures.

And, best of all, it's this first act of rebellion many many years ago that eventually led me to my husband, my best friend, my partner in crime. Kind of awesome, the twists and turns of life. 

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*Seriously. I was such a nerd / good girl that my friend and I used to sneak out at night just to go for a stroll in the moonlight. We'd sit in the park and eat Aero bars, dipping them in yogurt. Party on. 

**Note the slightly. I am still left-leaning. I still believe in equality, fairness and human rights. I believe in public services and the power of education. But I also believe in personal choice and the free market, and that some times for some problems government regulation isn't actually the best solution.

*** Yes, I was hired, by McDonald's, at the age of eighteen. 

The weekend (plus a few days) that was...

Hooly dooly what a crazy few days it's been!  There's been giraffes and rhinos and meerkats at Werribee Open Range Zoo; tons of fun at Straight to You, the Nick Cave Tribute concert in Geelong; tasty food and possibly a bit too much sake at the rather appropriately named Sake restaurant in Sydney; gorgeous greenery (see above), roos, rosellas and rocks at Jenolan Caves.  Basically five days of friends, family, food and worlds colliding in the best ways possible.  Happy days indeed!

Mail Art from Saylor Made (+ one minor panic attack)

Holy cow my mail box has been happy of late.  First there was the stack of handmade greeting cards, then two dresses that I can see myself living in all winter from lyptis, then a package from my Mum which included two bags of twisties, a great book and a cute doxie card.  And now a mail art reply from Saylor Made!  Hurrah!

My favourite part?  That would have to be the handmade envelope featuring two skunks 'hugging' (wonder what Mr Postman thought of that?).  Followed closely by the three mini envelopes, each with little treasures in side.  Consider the envelope-within-an-envelope idea 'borrowed', Ms Made!

On a completely unrelated topic, I'm writing this from the sterile confines of Incheon Airport, where I'm being tortured with muzak versions of 'Bridge Over Troubled Water' while waiting for my flight to Hong Kong.  

I'm about to embark on a somewhat crazy trip, which goes a little something like this: Seoul, Hong Kong, Melbourne, Geelong, Melbourne, Sydney, Jenolan Caves (near the Blue Mountains), Sydney, Melbourne, Seoul.  And in all that madness I'm going to be seeing the Nick Cave tibute concert; avoiding being gored by a rhino; celebrating my Dad's birthday; having an early xmas dinner where my family will meet some of my husband's family for the very first time ever (including, quite possibly, the husband's ex-wife); hosting a weekend away with us, our friends, my Mum, my Step-dad, my sister and nephews...all in 10 short days.  

Excuse me while I go and breath heavily in to a paper bag.

My nephews...

...are freakin' adorable.  That is all.

Farewell...

My wonderful Grandma did pass away last week.  But instead of dwelling on the sadness and the loss that we feel right now, I want to tell you about some happy things.

First up, I'm happy that I was able to make it to Melbourne to visit her in hospital and to be part of her farewell.  I'm happy that I got to see all of my cousins, albeit all too briefly.

I'm happy that my Grandma lived till a ripe old age; that she lived an incredible life full of love and strength and learning and adventure (oh the stories she could tell!).  And I'm happy that she got to share in the lives of all her grand kids and her countless great grand kids.  She was a part of our happy times and our successes, and she supported us through our less than shiny moments.  I'm happy that we've been lucky enough to have had her presence in our lives.

I'm happy that she was able to pass on her love of family, her stubbornness, her open-heartedness, her not-taking-life/yourself-too-seriously-ness, her lifelong-learning-ness, to a second and third and fourth generation - that's pretty cool huh?  

Grandma - you will be sorely missed, but you will not be forgotten. x

Good Things...

From Zim and Zou, possibly my most favourite thing ever.  Typography + paper craft + embroidery. It's called 'Weave', it's a font, it's beautiful.  Go love it some more here.

Have you discovered kickstarter yet?  It's an amazing site where you can pledge to support a whole bunch of arty, crafty, creative projects.  In return, if the project you've pledged to support is successful in reaching it's funding goal, you'll be rewarded for your support in a whole range of fun and creative ways (the rewards are designed by the people behind each project - so they may include anything from a hug, to something tangible like a print or tickets to an event, to something like a one on one Skype session to discuss your shared passion for typography).  

I first heard about kickstarter through Dannielle, who was promoting this great project by Jessica Swift.  It is such a lovely way to get involved in the creative community, to directly help people whose ideas you like.  They do have a section for 'small projects' (less than $1000), but even on the bigger projects you can become a backer for as little as $1!  Or maybe you have a project that needs funding?  

From Kurt Riedi and Steffi Gloor, a rather charming way to view the weather forecast (found via Mrs Eliot Books).  Here in Seoul the weather has been swinging between deadly monsoonal rain and stifling sticky heat, but at least now the forecast can look pretty.

Simply amazing critters by Melbourne artist Troy Emery (I can't remember how I got on to these, if it was because of you please let me know).  In his sculptures, Troy explores craft and natural history and creates all kinds of awesome.  Would love to see one of these sculptures in the real world some time.

And last but most definitely not least, my Grandma is a good thing and then some.  Here she is with my sister and I (note the co-ordinating parkas!) on 'Australia's Favourite Steam Train' (I quote) Puffing Billy.  

My Grandma is quite a remarkable person.  She's always been around to look after the gaggle of grand kids and great grand kids; she's been the tough glue that's held our big messy sprawling extended family together.  Strong, caring, confident, quick to laugh.  Stubborn as a mule at times (no, I didn't inherit that, why do you ask?) and unlikely to say no to a glass of bubbles (no, I didn't inherit that either. *cough*).  

She's now 90 and lying unconscious in a hospital bed, hopefully at peace.  She is in all of our hearts and our minds.  And even though she's 'had a good innings' as they say, all our hearts are breaking a little right now.  I'm flying out to Melbourne tomorrow, possibly to say goodbye.  If things are a bit quiet here over the next week, you'll now why.

Hong Kong: Inspiration Overload

Being in Hong Kong recently with my sister (which was so much fun, by the way) made me think a bit more about why I love the place so much.  Every time I land there I get that excited feeling - you know the one that us travelers are always trying to chase, the one that wakes you up even if you've just got off a 16 hour flight and it's 4am back home, the one you felt the first time you went to New York or Paris or Tokyo.  

And I'm sure part of that excited feeling is because I'm already planning out what delicious things I'm going to have for breakfast, lunch and dinner over the next few days.  But it's also because Hong Kong gives you that feeling that you're in a place where things are happening!  Exciting, vibrant, new things.  And all these things are just a short ferry or train or walk away.  

But mainly, Hong Kong is a total feast for my senses - everywhere you look there is inspiration, whether it's the jumble of stuff piled high in the stores around Cat Street; the neon orange and blue colours of the street stall signage; the crumbly, washed out pinks and greens of the old apartment buildings; or that amazing sign out the front of a bird shop which makes you think about how good it would look as an embroidery design (don't you think?).  The noise, the smell, the shops, the bustle, the everything everywhere, the little glimpses of green...it's inspiration overload every time I visit!

Update: if you want to hear more about our Hong Kong adventures Beci has just put up a Hong Kong post too!  The family that blogs together, etc etc etc.  You can have a look here.

Good Things...

I'm really loving the work of illustrator and jewelry maker Lousie Evans.  Her paper cuts are beautiful, her book designs crisp, and her jewelry combines geometry, a neutral palate and a mix of textures - lovely, lovely stuff.  You can see more of her work here and here, check out her blog here, and buy her jewelry here.

I'm a bit sad that it took me so very long to discover the goodness that is Prints Charming - gorgeous screen printing, embroidery and all round craftiness.  I think it was Jess's Epheriell Designs blog that finally turned me on to them, and I immediately had to get my hands on their fabulous book.  It is so full of exciting things to make.  The great thing is for each project they provide a non-screen printing option, for those of us who haven't the space or the talent or the spouses who are happy for the house to be taken over with screens and ink.  

I've never owned a DVF dress, in fact, I don't think I've ever even tried one on.  However, I have always vaguely admired the label for it's consistency and classic sense of easy going style. Vaguely admired that is, until I stumbled across the vintage collection which is based on prints from the DVF archives.  I am totally besotted with the patterns, the colours, the styles.  I'm heading to Hong Kong again soon and I'm hoping to track one down (on sale, preferably...).

I follow a lot of blogs (a lot!) and I try and check in on them all when I can, and comment when something strikes me.  But there are a few select blogs that I know I don't want to miss out on, so I subscribe via email, and the latest addition to my inbox has been Geninne's Art blog (found via @Chantal_Vincent).  Not only is her art simply stunning, but her blog is full of wonderful inspiring earthy images.  Go have a look!

And last, but not least, my sister is coming to town!  Hurrah!  Yippee!  Zippedidooda!  There will be shopping and eating and manicures and the odd glass of wine!  And hopefully no repercussions for me posting a photo of us in our matching nightgowns on my blog...

Melbourne: Food

Oh Melbourne!  With your cafes and delicatessens, your enotecas and tapas bars, your bakeries and your coffee roasters.  You may seem expensive these days but I don't care, I still drool when I walk in to a neighbourhood fruit and veg store, I shiver with delight when I see a local supermarket selling ligurian olives and turkish bread and fresh lemongrass.  Melbourne, you are food heaven, and when I'm away I miss that about you, I really do.

So of course when I go back to visit you I eat, and eat, and eat.  On my most recent trip there was: great coffee from Seven Seeds; ridiculously tasty poached eggs with corn fitters from St. Ali (thanks to Beci for the recommendation and to Shannon for the facials and the lovely company); possibly one of the most delicious meals I've ever had at Gigibaba (third time lucky, so glad we finally managed to get there!); plus I also got to see the launch of my brother-in-law's newest food adventure, the Taco Truck (the fish taco was my favourite!).  Yumlicious!

Here's my nephew Ari hiding 'from the cheeky people' at the Taco Truck launch, plus Tyke looking a bit moody, as only a 7 year old can.

Melbourne: My Sister's House

I had a few crazy days in Melbourne recently.  When I go back home I normally do exactly that, and stay in the house I grew up in with my Mum and step-dad.  But this trip I stayed at my sister's house, which was pretty damn cool.  

Mainly because I got to hang out with my nephews way more than normal - pick them up from school, read them bed time stories, put up with them constantly asking to play on my iPhone... - and my nephews are two of the handsomest, smartest, funniest, coolest kids around (impartial judge that I am).  And it was also cool because at Beci's house there's always something interesting, pretty, colourful, beautiful or delicious to look at.  Plus, their food is scrumptious and their couch is super comfy.  

Though to be honest I could do without the 6.30am wake up calls (aka the youngest nephew squealing at me).  As a part time step-parent to older kids I'm not quite used to the hard slog of late nights and early mornings day in day out...

Anyway, the photos: that's Miso, My sisters cat up the top - don't you just love his saucer eyes? Kind of intense right?  And under that is this amazing teepee (my youngest nephew likes to build nests).  The quilts draped around it where made by my Granny!  They were on our beds in our Dad's house all through our childhood.  I have such strong, fond memories of those quilts, I'm so glad they're still around.