Online Time Capsule

As promised, I said I would put more pictures in my blog. I will not disappoint.

As I was waiting for my sheets to come out of the dryer late tonight, I talked to an old childhood friend on Facebook. In the background, I was watching a Kevin Smith stand up which had lost my interest long ago. My friend spoke of the past. What was, what should have been, and what is not. I couldn't help but reflect on my own life because of his words (even if they were coming from a possibly drunken mind. I wasn't sure so I didn't ask). But I didn't look back so harshly as I tend to. Rather I tried to find other outlets too look back. Long lost outlets.

I logged into my old Myspace account. I remember how cool I thought I was lying about my age signing up for it. Initially I was just using it to promote my band. Funny thing was, I was one of the first 500 users to sign up for the page. How was I supposed to know this "social network" thing was going to take off. Myspace was more than just a band promoting tool, and later on a social social. It became a time capsule of who I was when I was young. I stopped using it a lot about four years ago. I used it sporadically in between. But when I log in now, I see a portrait of who I was. Who I thought I was. The pictures posted. The personal information. The countless blogs. I went through that old page and traveled back in time, to when I was a sophomore in high school. I looked at old pictures long forgotten (also forgotten in the sense that I don't have them saved on a hard drive any where.) I looked at old friends pages, that had also collected cyber dust if you will. Not only were they time capsules to their past, but mine and how much our lives were apart of each others. I saw posts that stretched as far back as 7 years.

I was so young and wreckless. So self absorbed and lost. It made me realize how much of my youth is now lost. I'm facing aging now. I'm only 24 at the time of this post. But looking back at pictures that I thought represented who I was made me realize how much has changed and yet, what hasn't changed but needs to. I won't bore you with those details. But I couldn't help but feel hopeless against the weight of time. Those pictures were memories that we speak so highly of to this day. And yet it seems like those types of memories were the last of them so long ago. I feel like Peter Pan and pathetic adults who refuse to grow up. Hanging on to the very last shred of youth. Looking back now, I realize I don't have as much of it as I used to.

I was maybe 17 in this picture. This is with my old band. In the middle is an old friend whom I haven't spoken to in years named Branden. At the far right is probably my oldest friend, Kyle. I've known him since 3rd grade. We don't talk or hang out as much as we used to. Our paths divided a long time ago. We still keep in touch but it will never be the same as it was. I laugh because I look so tan and baby faced.

This picture makes me laugh. This was a good and bad day rolled into one. This was about 4 years ago when I lived with my good friends Brennon and Matt in Murray. I found this picture on my Myspace with the caption "I was wrong about you, you are Top Gun material." I remember the quote. But I don't remember the backstory of the joke other than Jeff and I thought it was funny to wear aviators. Jeff had said it and I laughed hysterically. This day, we went to Lagoon, had an awesome time. Came back and threw a party at the apartment that went horribly wrong. It featured shady people being invited and me almost getting my ass kicked by a stranger looking for his girlfriend. We all look so chubby in this picture which has mostly to do with the deep fryer we had in our apartment. We lived off of it.

I used to think that when people told me I looked 12, I thought they were just being assholes. It pissed me off. When I look at this picture, I can see what they meant. This was an infamous party out in the desert where many embarrassing pictures surfaced. I have most of them. Joe has the others. This was back in my part days, when I drank twice a month (That was a lot for me.) Brennon was smoking cheap cigars trying to look like a hard ass in this picture. We took this picture with someones phone and sent it to Jeff. He was unable to make it because of a girl. We gave him so much shit for it. 

I laughed out loud when I saw this picture. It's so ridiculous. I only know this was a different desert party. Both me and RJ were drunk dancing around some fire that he had kicked out of a much much large fire with gasoline. I was dancing for some reason and RJ was jumping with joy. Ah, good times. Both pictures above I was 19. 

I doubt many people would guess from this picture that we were 19 in the picture. We look like we did when we graduated high school almost 2 years before. We had so much fun. We had each other. Before everyone scattered. Before we all decided where our lives should take us.

In the interest of time, I will just post the other pictures without stories or commentary. But enjoy the younger looking, vastly more arrogant me.

 Barely 19

 Spring of senior year, I thought I was cool

 I was 15 in this picture

 19 and smug

Early Senior Year. 

Well there you have it. Hope you enjoyed. Maybe I will post others on here. I don't know yet. But what I would like to do is transfer every single one of my Myspace blogs on to this blog with the appropriate date and everything so they aren't lost to me when I eventually forget the password. Or when the site inevitably shuts down. Keep your eye out for that. That is happening for sure.