Today has left me feeling beaten down. The glow from our vacation has long since worn off, and this week has had more than its fair share of challenges. Getting to the end of the day and still feeling like there are so many things that I could or should be doing has been the norm, and I eventually just succumb to a small bowl of ice-cream on the couch. Because I need to sit still for just a few moments. With the ice cream.
When looking at the grand scheme, I can see that the fog is lifting. The twins are almost a year old, and some things have certainly leveled out, which certainly provides relief. Instead of thick fog, it now feels like we are in a haze. Things mostly look clear, but sometimes the images seem to shimmer or blur around the edges. Like I can't quite put my finger on what I should be doing at any given moment, because the options are just so limitless.
Today and yesterday William has been wheezing, which pretty much means we are walking down the same asthma road with him. He's been getting hits off of Violet's inhaler, which have helped, and we are heading to the pediatrician later this afternoon. While the twins were in therapy after Mother's Day Out today, Bella started to have a rough time about the last 15 minutes we were there. This included a lot of crying, a few angsty replies and screaming while laying under some chairs.
Obviously, we had a great cloud of witnesses for these events, as is usually the case. Out we walked, headed towards nap time and hopefully a reset button. So, for the rest of this blog post, I am going to remind myself about some of the wonderful, quirky things I love about my children right now, because I need a reset too.
Like the way that anytime Bella wakes up before me, she comes and cuddles with me. This picture is actually from my birthday.
Or the way that Lily says that she loves me, unprompted. Lily also has a real heart for service around our home, and though the "help" is not always helpful, it is always well-intentioned and sweetly performed.
Bella is such an affectionate child and rarely stops at just one kiss. She grabs your face with both of her hands and kisses you squarely on the lips, and then turns your head to kiss your cheek as well.
And Bella also has moments when I ask, "Are you going to listen and obey?" In some of those moments, she is choosing the right thing to do, which is amazing to watch. There are a million things to laugh at when your children are 3 and 5, and I find myself actually chuckling at many of the things they say. Being a parent really is so entertaining.
I love the way that William gets so excited when he sees the box of Cheerios that he manages to shake the whole table. Really.
He loves them. And Violet really lights up when she sees someone that she loves. She starts kicking and bouncing up and down.
Though the vacation glow is long gone, the glow of normal life can be spotted on the horizon. I'm thankful for our normal life, the good and the bad. The ups and the downs. It is exhausting, but full and satisfying, when I choose to let it be. Thankfulness transforms the way it all looks.
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