Ensign Britney's Parents (Part Five)

Guest Poster: Mirror T'Pol

Now that Brit and I have sorted out the problem Captain Picard had with Brit's mother Natalia, who tried to seduce him while we were all on her home planet of Delta, I have a problem of my own to face.

Britney's parents, Ambassadors Yul and Natalia have invited their daughter and me for a dinner party. Doubtless it's a 'getting to know you' event, and they want to find out all about me.

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"Relax, sugar." Brit tells me as we prepare for the dinner, "They'll love you. Say, what do you think of this?"



"It looks great on you, honey." I reply, "But it's hardly dinner-party wear. Do you think you ought to look a little formal?"

"Nah." she laughs, "They love little old me just the way I am. I'll take the wig off, though. Mom and Dad like to see me as Deltans look.

I choose a more sober black outfit, and we set off in the direction of the Ambassadors' apartments.

"Mom! Dad!" shouts Britney as we go in, as Natalia and Yul hug her, and warmly say hello.

"I know we've met, T'Pol." Natalia says, "But I hope with this little dinner we can all be friends."

"Quite so." Yul pipes up from behind, "Britney, we have had the finest chefs prepare your favourite meal this evening...Deltan sea bass together with potato fragments."

"Yay!" Brit yells, "Fish and chips."

We all settle down, and Britney eats her food at a rate of knots. As she does, I feel the eyes of her parents turn round to me...here it comes....



"So, T'Pol." Natalia asks, "My daughter mentioned that you're over two hundred years old and from a parallel universe?"

"Err...yes." I reply, "I escaped from Captain Jonathan Archer in the 22nd century and went into suspended animation until the Enterprise woke me up."



"It was then you met Britney?" Yul chimes in.

"Err right..." I say, making sure I don't trip up and say the wrong thing, "Yes, that's right. Theb universe I came from was bent on galactic domination. I tried to return with Britney once,, but found they saw me as a fugitive. I realised that she and I were better off in this world."

I wonder if I said too much, but look at Brit, who winks at me and eats another chip.

"You and my daughter managed to get banned out of most of the nightclubs in the galaxy." Natalia asks, "That's quite a feat."

I'm a little stuck now, as I don't know how they want me to answer.



"Err..yes." I continue, "Britney and I are very much alike like that. We believe in enjoying ourselves."

A big smile appears on Natalia's face.

"I'm sure you both do, T'Pol." she says with a laugh, "When I was young, I only managed to get banned from half the nightclubs in the galaxy! Keep on going. You two are good together."

I heave a sigh of relief. It seems like I've been 'approved' by Britney's parents. As the whole family is so unorthodox, I should have realised nothing on Delta is like it is anywhere else!

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"There you go, sistah." says Brit as we head back to our apartment, "I told you it would be a breeze. It will be time to head back to the Enterprise tomorrow."

We meet Captain Picard on the way back, who has a worried frown. Actually he tends to most times. He informs us that Doctor Crusher will be meeting us to take us back.

Normally the Captain would be pleased at that, but I think he is concerned in case Natalia shows up at the same time!

To be continued...

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Editor's Note:

The memes featured each week are now on my new blog Captain Picard's Meme Holdeck

Ensign Britney's Parents (Part Four)

Guest Poster: Ensign Britney

I'm beginning to think it was a big mistake having Captain Picard along with us on the trip to my home planet of Delta. I just wanted to intoduce my soulsitah T'Pol to them, but instead, my over-amourous mother has become attracted to the Captain. T'Pol and I just came across them as she was about to go way beyong normal Ambassadorial boundaries!

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T'Pol and I retreat to our bedroom very quickly, but soon after, I herar a frantic knocking on the door. I know this isn't room service.

The Captain comes through, looking very stressed.

"Ensign Britney." he says desperately, "What you saw I could not get out of. Your mother had me cornered, and was staring to take off her clothes when you came in."

"My mother has always been very amorous." I concede, "I believe she has worked her way through many high-ranking officers."



"But your mother is married, Brit." T'Pol comments, "What does your father say about it."

"Oh, he doesn't mind." I reply, "In fact he has his own people he likes to stay with as well. That's the Deltan philosophy of alternate lifestyles. We never live conventionally. That's why I'm the way I am."

"Well what can we do?" the Captain asks, "I don't want to risk a diplomatic breach by rejecting Natalia, but she needs to be told that this sort of lifestyle isn't for me."

"Perhaps we need to ask my father?" I suggest, "He could tell her."

The Captain goes somewhat white, but agrees to it.

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The next morning, the three of us are heading towards to offices of my father, Ambassador Yul.



"Good morning, Britney, T'Pol and Captain Picard." he says, ""What can I do for you?"

I give the Captain a kick with my Dr Martens boots and T'Pol and I push him forward."

"Ahhh..." the Captain starts, "Err....Ambassador Yul...I just want to mention that your wife Natalia visited last night..."

My father laughs out loud.

"Ah." he chuckes, "Natalia and I were chatting about that over cornflakes this morning, and how you avoided being seduced by her. Did you want me to mention to her that you don't indulge in the unusual lifestyles we do."

The Captain heaves a sigh of relief.

"Exactly, Ambassador." he says.

"There's nothing to worry about, Captain." he says, "We discussed it, and you have nothing to fear. Natalia realises that not all races live like we do."

He then turns to T'Pol and me.

"Now that is all sorted out." he says, "T'Pol, will you and Britney come to a formal dinner with Natalia and myself? We can have a good talk."

Now it's my turn and T'Pol's to look worried. What will happen?

To be continued....

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Editor's Note:

Mimi's meme, when published, will be in Captain Picard's Meme Holodeck

Ensign Britney's Parents (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Ensign Britney

This is great! Me and my soulsistah T'Pol are in a shuttlecraft on the way to my home planet of Delta. I wanted to introduce her to my parents.

The only drag is that we've got Captain Picard in the shuttle with us. There's some sort of diplomatic problem for him to sort out. We'll let him do that while the two of us go out and enjoy ourselves and chat to my parents.

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"It looks like we are nearly there." says the Captain, and turns to me, "I shall have to talk to your parents about the problem."

"Why's that?" I say, "What's it to do with them?"

"Did you not know that both your parents have assumed Ambassadorial roles in Starfleet?" he asks, "They need me to mediate a problem between Delta and the Federation."

I groan. How boring!

I go and change into the new outfit I bought for the trip.



"What do you think of this, sistah." I ask T'Pol, "Doesn't it look cool."

"Sure does, Brit, honey." she replies. The Captain just winces.

We land on Delta, and I see the familar figures of my parents approach.



"Hi, dad." I cheerily say, "Wonderful to see you again. This is my sweetie, T'Pol, and this is Captain Picard.. Captain, this is my father, Yul."

"Pleased to meet you, Ambassador Yul." replies the Captain.

"Likewise." my father replies, "Britney, you don't need to wear a wig. Nor do you, T'Pol."

"Err...it's my own hair, Ambassador." T'Pol nervously mentions.

"My apologies." he answers, "Please call me Yul. This is my wife Natalia.



"Hi mom." I say enthusiastically, "This is T'Pol and this is..."

"Yes, I know." she says, hardly listening. All she is staring at is the bald head of Captain Picard.

"Ambassador Natalia." says the Captain.

"Please call me Natalia." she says, "Britney, I had no idea that your Captain looked so...stunning."

The Captain looks taken aback and panic stricken. The alarm bells start ringing in me as well. Is my mother falling for Captain Picard?

To be continued......

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Editor's Note:

IMPORTANT: The Meme that usually shows up at this time has been moved to my new blog Captain Picard's Meme Holodeck. Be sure to take a look!