The Main Reason For Brexit Was To Stop Immigration

Brexit, the name used to describe Great Britain leaving the European Union, was approved by voters. Why? Under the EU, there are no borders. People can enter Great Britain and overload the system, take jobs and commit crimes. The people said enough!

Rules and laws set down by the EU come out of Brussels, Belgium. On a net basis, Britain paid one of the highest amounts into the EU budget last year, second only to Germany.

So what are the benefits of Britain's being in the EU? As far as I can ascertain, nothing! Moreover, it would regain it's border sovereignty, not be overrun by hordes of middle eastern refugees and not be dictated to by Brussels.

Look for Denmark, Norway, Sweden and the Netherlands to consider following Britain's lead in the coming months and the eventual downfall of the European Union. 

The News As I See It: It’s been reported that after leaving office, Obama is considering owning an NBA team. They say Obama wants to be an NBA owner because it’s his only chance to get someone on the court.

While he was back at the Capitol Bernie Sanders accidentally went to the Republican lunchroom. Bernie knew he wasn't in the Democrats' lunchroom when he couldn't get a free lunch.

Bernie admitted that he "doesn’t appear" to be the nominee. Just to make sure, Bernie said he’ll stay in the race for two more years.

Nearly one million adults in the U.S. are in a same-sex marriage. That’s compared to the nearly 40 million adults in a no-sex marriage.

Donald Trump has been stepping up his attacks on Hillary Clinton. He just launched a new website called LyingCrookedHillary.com. I tried to go there and every time I got a blank page. I told him not to hire the guys who set up the Obamacare website. He didn't listen.

This Date In History: 1509; Henry VIII was crowned king of England. 1647; Early American feminist Margaret Brent demanded a seat and vote in the Maryland Assembly, but was ejected from that body. 1675; King Philip's War, the most devastating war between the colonists and Indians, began with Indians attacking the Swansea (Mass.) settlement.

1908; The 22nd and 24th president of the United States, Grover Cleveland, died in Princeton, N.J. 1947; Kenneth Arnold, an American pilot, reported seeing strange objects near Mt. Rainier, Washington. He described them as "saucers skipping across the water," hence the term "flying saucers" was born.

1948; The Soviet Union began a blockade of Berlin. Allied forces responded with what would be known as the Berlin Airlift flying in more than 2 million tons of supplies over the next year. 1997; The U.S. Air Force released The Roswell Report, closing the case on the 1947 Roswell, N.M. incident concerning UFOs and alien bodies.

2011; New York passes a law to allow same-sex marriage, becoming the largest state that allows gay and lesbian couples to marry. 2012; Lonesome George, the last known Pinta Island Tortoise, died at a Galapagos National Park, making the subspecies extinct.

Picture Of The Day: There are parts of England where English is the second language. The cause is out-of-control mass immigration of people from the middle east. Brexit will stop this.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) A good indication of the intelligence of celebrities can be measured by the names they give their children. In an interview, one particular couple mentioned their children, Shoe and Turbo Pickle." 2) I was helping my nephew study for his geology exam, and apparently "hard, classic and punk" aren't the 3 different types of rock. Who knew? 3) Keep your friend's toast, but keep your enemy's toaster. 4) I'm not sure if I washed the spider down the drain in my shower or if he took one look at me naked and then leaped willingly to his death.  5) I have said it before and I will say it again. If anyone is into wife swapping, I will take a dirt bike or a puppy.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Cancer - June 24th: Dank, inhospitable service station toilets may turn out to be your best friend today. It's all one big crap chute anyway.

Birthdays: Sir John Ross, arctic explorer 1777, Henry Ward Beecher, clergyman 1813, Ambrose Bierce, satirist 1842, Jack Dempsey, world champion boxer 1895, John Ciardi, poet 1916, Anita Desai, writer 1937.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: There was a papa mole, a mama mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse.

One day, Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Mama mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!"

Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."

Murray goes to see the Rabbi and says, "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asks, "What's wrong?" Murray replies, "My wife is poisoning me."

The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" Murray then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"

The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."

A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?" Murray says, "Yes!" The Rabbi says, "Take the poison."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A guy walks into a bar, sits down and asks, "Bartender, got any specials today?" The bartender answers, "Yes, as a matter of fact we have a new drink, invented by a gynecologist patron of ours."

He continued, "It's a mix of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and Smirnoff Vodka." The guy asks, "Good grief, what do you call that?" The bartender replied, "It's a "Pabst Smir."

Vern was teeing off from the men's tee. On his downswing, he realized that his wife, Joy, was teeing up on the woman's tee directly in front of him. Unable to stop his swing, he nailed it, and hit her directly in the temple, killing her instantly.

A few days later, Vern got a call from the coroner regarding her autopsy. The coroner said, "Vern, your wife seemed to have died from blunt force trauma to the head. You said you hit a golf ball and hit her in the temple, is that correct?"

Vern replied, "Yes, sir, that's correct." The coroner said, "Well, inexplicably, I found a golf ball wedged up her ass." Vern asked, "Was it a Titleist 3?" The coroner replied, "Yes, it was." Vern said,  "That was my mulligan."

That's it for today, my little lamb chops. Remember, don't make exceptions for ignorant people. An asshole with a flower in it is not a vase. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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Meet Scooter

I have a new kitten. Not by choice, but by fate. A friend knocked on my door yesterday to tell me he heard a kitten mewing under the hood of my car. Sure enough, I raised the hood and there he was...tiny, scared and trembling.

Once I figured how to get him out, I took him upstairs, bathed him and dried him with the blower. He's too young to be afraid of the bath or the blower. He sat on my shoulder to get warm and calm down, but once he drank a little water and ate some food, he was running all over the place.....hence, Scooter.

When I was sitting there holding him, I noticed that he had similar markings and color as my Possum, who passed away 2 years ago right down to the white mini tuxedo chest and white boots.

I realized then that I was going to keep him. I found Possum as a kitten when someone put him in a dumpster and I can't turn my back on a helpless animal. I don't know if it was a sign or fate, but that's just who I am.

It's only been one day but between keeping an eye on Scooter and placating Samantha who wasn't pleased with the little upstart to begin with, I am tired. Showing him where the water and food was, helping him learn the litter box routine and the subtleties of a young kitten bring back old memories. I think everything will work out ok.....

The News As I See It: Chairman of the Republican National Committee Reince Priebus blasted Hillary Clinton on Twitter for using "bad judgment." Priebus said, "I haven't seen judgment this bad since my parents named me Reince Priebus."

This Date In History: 1861; Stephen Douglas, U.S. politician, died. 1937; The Duke of Windsor (formerly Edward VIII) married Wallis Simpson. 1965; Major Edward White became the first U.S. astronaut to walk in space, during the Gemini 4 mission.

1979; The world's worst oil spill occurred when an exploratory oil well, Ixtoc 1, blew out, spilling over 140 million gallons of oil into the Bay of Campeche off the coast of Mexico. 1989; Iran’s Ayatollah Khomeini died.

Picture Of The Day: I'll have new pictures soon (hopefully). Anyone who has a cat knows that they refuse to pose.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) My uncle is hard of hearing. He needs to read lips. I don’t mind him reading lips, but he uses one of those yellow highlighters. 2) Then I said "No officer, I’m not slurring my speech. I’m speaking in cursive." 3) If you look in the mirror and say "pumpkin spice latte" three times, a suburban college girl, majoring in the arts, will appear and tell you everything she loves about the fall. 4) (Girlfriend): "I finally caught you. I could hear it from the other room. You were watching porn." (Me): "No, it's just women's tennis."  5) They say that intelligence is the new cleavage. This may or not be true but I believe that intelligence is barely head and shoulders above cleavage.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Gemini - June 3rd: The odds are that you'll see something today that you physically and desperately desire. However, it is unlikely that you will achieve it. I would estimate that at least half of your efforts today will go, not only unrewarded, but also unnoticed. Don't be concerned, the same thing happens to me, too.

Birthdays: Jefferson Davis, President of the Confederacy 1808, Henry James, philosophical theologian 1811, Raoul Dufy, painter 1877, Josephine Baker, dancer and singer 1906, Tony Curtis, actor 1925, Curtis Mayfield, singer-songwriter 1942.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

A man's wife asked him to buy organic vegetables from the market. He went to the store, looked around and couldn't find any.

So he grabbed an old produce employee and said, "These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?"

The old produce guy looked at him and said, "No sir, you'll have to do that yourself."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her and says, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of your bag." The little old lady says, "Oh, really? Darn! I'd better go back, and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me."

The cop says, "Well, now, not so fast. How did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

The little old lady says, "Oh, no. You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his thing through the fence, I say, '$20 or off it comes'."

The cop laughs and says, "Well, that seems only fair. By the way, what's in the other bag?'' The little old lady says,"Well, you know, not everybody pays."

About 200 dead crows were found near Boston, Massachusetts and there was great concern about the possibility of "Avian Flu". They had a bird pathologist examine the remains of all the crows and he confirmed the problem was definitely not Avian Flu, to everyone's relief.

However, he did determine that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks and only 2% were killed by impact with cars. The city then hired a Ornithological Behaviorist to determine why there were such disproportionate percentages for "truck versus car" kills.

The Ornithological Behaviorist determined the cause in very short order. When crows eat road kill, they always post a "look-out crow" in a nearby tree, to warn of any impending danger. His conclusion was that the lookout crow could easily say "Cah", but he could not say "Truck"!

That's it for today, my little petunias. Remember, somewhere, a real Nigerian prince is sitting at his computer wondering, "Why does nobody reply to my emails?" I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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Who Let The Dogs Out?

Hillary barking like a dog, Trump insulting everybody and Harry Reid ranting over Republican intentions of not filling Scalia's vacancy until the elections while a 2007 democratic speech video took the same stance provide me with pages of fodder for my journal.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell took to Twitter to announce his intentions of not filling Justice Scalia's vacancy until after Americans have chosen a new president.

Meanwhile, in response to McConnell, Nevada Senator Harry Reid said it would be, "unprecedented in recent history for SCOTUS to go year with vacancy" and called a failure to replace Scalia a "shameful abdication of our constitutional responsibility."

That is, until Chuck Schumer's 2007 speech (YouTube) was rediscovered where he advocated that Democrats not fill a Supreme Court vacancy until after George W. Bush left office. Uh, Harry, I think that is a precedent.

On another presidential candidate stage, Hillary Clinton was in the middle of a riff about how, in her view, Republicans say things that are not true, when she remembered a radio ad that she said ran in rural Arkansas while her husband, Bill Clinton, was running for office.

She said,"They (Republicans) actually, with a straight face, say that the great recession was caused by too much regulation on Wall Street."

Hillary continued, "One of my favorite political ads of all time was a radio ad in rural Arkansas where the announcer said, 'Wouldn't it be great if somebody running for office said something, we could have an immediate reaction to whether it was true or not. Well, we have trained this dog. Well, the dog, if it is not true, he is going to bark and the dog was barking on the radio and so people were barking at each other for days after that."

She went on, "I want to figure out how we can do that with Republicans. We need to get that dog and follow them around and every time they say these things like, 'Oh, the Great Recession was caused by too much regulation,' arrf, arrfh, arrh, arrh," letting out a barking noise that caused the audience to laugh and some people to mimic her. 

Clinton concluded, "I think we could cut right through a lot of their claims."

Methinks if that "dog" were to have existed, loud barking would have been heard throughout the land from Bill Clinton's White House (Monica Lewinsky) and would continue to bark incessantly every time Hillary opens her mouth. But, that's just me.....

The News As I See It: The 31st annual LA Marathon was last weekend. Between the marathon and Obama's visit it was a big week for Kenyans screwing up LA traffic.

The Ted Cruz campaign has pulled a new ad after it was revealed that the actress in it has appeared in soft-core porn; and now Jeb has hired her to teach him how to act like he's enjoying something.

Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders were both in Las Vegas over the weekend. Hillary attended a campaign rally, while Bernie played the nickel slots.

Prostitutes at a Nevada brothel have launched a campaign for Hillary Clinton called "Hookers for Hillary." Apparently they want to donate money to the Clintons, or as they call it, "Giving back.

This Date In History: 1674; The Netherlands and England signed the Peace of Westminster, by which New Amsterdam passed to the English (and was renamed New York). 1807; Aaron Burr, vice president under Thomas Jefferson, was arrested for treason. He was later acquitted.

1878; Thomas Edison patented the gramophone (phonograph). 1942; President Franklin Roosevelt signed an executive order that resulted in the internment of thousands of Japanese-Americans living on the West Coast.

1945; The U.S. Marines went ashore at Iwo Jima. 1959; Britain, Turkey, and Greece signed the agreement granting Cyprus independence. 1968; The first nationwide broadcast of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood aired on PBS.

1997; Deng Xiaoping, Chinese Communist leader, died. 2008; Fidel Castro resigned as President of Cuba after 49 years in power. Raúl Castro, Fidel's brother, succeeded him as president.

Picture Of The Day: He rants, he raves, he insults and yet, he remains at the top of the polls. Maybe America is just looking for a president with balls.....

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Being dyslexic has drawbacks. I once went to a toga party dressed as a goat. 2) People who complain about the way the ball bounces are usually the ones that dropped it. 3) I had amnesia once - maybe twice. 4) My credit is so bad that Mastercard is now sending me my bills in Spanish. 5) It's hard to write a good drinking song. I can never make it past the first few bars.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Aquarius - February 17th: The evidence for love is staring you in the face, but you can't see the forest for the trees. If you find this is true for you, I think the best thing to do is to stop wandering into forests. Wandering is dangerous. Had this been an actual emergency, I would have fled in terror and you would not have been notified.

Birthdays: Nicholas Copernicus, Polish astronomer 1473, David Garrick, actor and dramatist 1717, Eddie Arcaro, jockey 1916, Carson McCullers, novelist 1917, Lee Marvin, actor 1924, Smokey Robinson, singer 1940, Amy Tan, novelist 1952.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: The owner of small business was confused about how much he should pay for an invoice, which included a volume discount. So he decided to ask his blonde secretary.

He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from college, and I need some help. If I were to give you $7,525 minus 12.5% for a discount, how much would you take off?" She paused briefly and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

A sailor said to his captain as he saluted, "Skipper, a special message just came in for you from the admiral. I have it right here." The captain ordered, "Read it to me!"

The sailor began reading nervously, "You are without a doubt the most idiotic, lame-brained officer ever to command a ship in the United States Navy." The skipper responded, "Have that communication decoded at once!"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A man goes to visit a fortune teller. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic said, "You complain about your wife's constant nagging and yelling, yet you still remain married. There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your wife will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, the man stares at the fortune teller's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. He took a few deep breaths to compose himself. He simply had to know. He met the fortune-teller's gaze, steadied his voice, and asked, "Will I be found guilty?"

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. He mumbles from behind the mask, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine." The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely, "Are - my - test - results - back?"

That's it for today, my little cupcakes. Remember, a relationship is the period of time between "I love you" and "Everything you do pisses me off." I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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More on Friday.

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A Mystery In AREA 51 At Sabores Restaurant

There's an undercover police horse in my social gang. I've narrowed it down to Iliana, Luly, Michelle, Sandra and Buttermilk. We share brownies, cookies and chocolate, but the other night, someone ate the kale garnish from Paul's plate.

No one in our group is a known vegan but I did smell carrots on Buttermilk's breath. I've passed this information on to Sheriff Roy. Deputy Brady was notified as soon as he came in from patrol driving Nellybelle.

Trigger has an alibi and Bullet merely growled when I asked about the crime. Dale Evans declined comment and suggested I was barking up the wrong tree. This angered Bullet who barked at Ms. Evans.

I hope to solve this mystery tonight when I head over to AREA51 at Sabores Restaurant. I'll keep you abreast of the situation.

Happy Trails.....

What have we learned in 2,066 years?

"The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance." Cicero - 55 BC.

Evidently nothing.

Roy Rogers (center) with Pat Brady (L) and George "Gabby" Hayes

The News As I See It: Obama gave his final State of the Union address Tuesday night. He started by saying he would give a shorter speech, which got the most applause of the night.

In Oakland, California, for the first time, a marijuana company will be publicly traded. It’s the first ever stock that you can buy high and sell high.

This Date In History: 1639; The first constitution of Connecticut, Fundamental Orders, was adopted. 1784; The United States ratified treaty with England ending the Revolutionary War. 1943; President Roosevelt and Prime Minister Churchill meet at the Casablanca Conference.

1953; Tito formally became the first president of the Republic of Yugoslavia. 1954; Marilyn Monroe married baseball legend Joe DiMaggio. 1963; George Wallace sworn in as Alabama's governor, promising "segregation forever."

1973; The Miami Dolphins became the first NFL team to go undefeated and have a perfect season by beating the Washington Redskins in Super Bowl VII. 1990; The Simpsons premiered on television.

2008; Bobby Jindal takes office as governor of Louisiana as the first elected Indian-American governor of the U.S.

Picture Of The Day: Having fun with my childhood hero and company, Roy Rogers, and his wife Dale Evans, pictured here with her horse, Buttermilk.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Ladies, if he leaves the stickers on his dorky, flat brimmed baseball cap and his arms are marked with what seems to be graffiti, that's his way of telling you he won't pay child support. 2) My girlfriend asked me to go deeper so I started quoting Nietzsche. 3) (North West): "Daddy what were you famous for?" (Kanye): "Rapping, Son." (North West): "Mommy what were you famous for?" .....((awkward silence)). 4) Whenever I hear about a man jumping off a bridge, I can't help but wonder how long he was dating my ex..... 5) As I dress for tonight's soiree in AREA 51, I find myself singing those familiar lyrics, "Do a little dance... Drink a lot of scotch... Fall down tonight.".....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Capricorn - January 15th: Although you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, bear in mind that you can catch even more flies with manure.

Take the time to shave closely tonight as the evening is showing signs of becoming memorable. Chance of romance is partly cloudy with a chance of reins, a whip and handcuffs .

Birthdays: R.F. Outcault, cartoonist and illustrator 1863, Albert Schweitzer, Alsatian Medical Missionary 1875, John Dos Passos, novelist 1896, Harold Russell, soldier and actor 1914, Yukio Mishima. writer 1925, Faye Dunaway, actress 1941, Shannon Lucid, astronaut and biochemist 1943, Maureen Dowd, journalist 1952, Steven Soderbergh, filmmaker 1963.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Two old men, Murray and Hiram, are discussing the local gossip at the Shady Elm Retirement Home when eighty-year-old Sadie walks by. Sadie says. "Hiya Boys!"

The old men nod in acknowledgement and Hiram whispers to Murray, "That Sadie's a fox but she has a foul mouth. The other night she used the "F" word."

Murray said, "Sadie, that sweet old lady? When did she say that?" Hiram said, "Right after the old lady sitting next to her yelled, 'Bingo!'"

Thieves robbed and bound a Miami man yesterday. They gagged him with a piece of rope and covered his eyes with masking tape. He was able to chew through the rope after two hours of trying. His inspiration came from remembering his wife's pot roast.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Two Louisiana boys were given a special SAT test to meet their admission requirements to the Military Academy.

Soon after the test began the first guy turns to the second guy and asks, "Old MacDonald had a what?" The other replies, "He had a farm." The first asks, "How do you spell it?" To which the second replied, "E-I-E-I-O."

Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked In the mirror and noticed that he was white from the neck to the top of his head. In a sheer panic and fearing he was turning white all over, he called his doctor and told him what had happened. The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately.

After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Obama, and told him to drink it all. Obama drank the concoction and said,"That tasted like shit!" The doctor replied, "It was...you were a quart low."

That's it for today, my little goobers. Remember, the words, "You clean up nicely", is just a polite way of saying, "You usually look like shit." I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

Follow Jimmy's Journal on Facebook by clicking the "Follow This Blog" button at the top right of the page.

Have a great weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

Another Resolution Bites The Dust

I made a few new year's resolutions, but today's kale salad eliminated resolution #4. The only thing I really knew about kale was that it was that little bush I scraped off my plate to get to my steak. A cute decoration but it tastes like crappola.

With all the talk about eating healthier and the benefits of kale, I thought I might have been missing something. Nope, tried it, still tastes like crappola.

I'm starting to wonder if people who are eating all this organic, weedy looking stuff are just playing a joke on everyone because they have to eat it to maintain their weight.

I'm open to trying new foods, but kale, tofu and other miserable new trends, along with my long time despised enemies (liver and asparagus spears) are avoided at all costs and slated for the nearest garabage disposal.

In Other News: Hillary Clinton, in a softball interview with MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, vehemently denied she’s a socialist, but found herself unable to answer what the difference is between a Democrat and a socialist.

Clinton’s main rival for the Democratic Party’s presidential nomination is Vermont senator and self-proclaimed democratic socialist Bernie Sanders. Matthews asked Clinton, “What’s the difference between a socialist and a Democrat? Is that a question you want to answer or would you rather not?” “You’d have to ask [Sanders],” Clinton said before being interrupted by Matthews.

Mathews continued, "You see, I’m asking you. You’re a Democrat, he’s a socialist. Would you like someone to call you a socialist?” Matthews asked. “I am not one,” Hillary responded without answering the question. “OK, well what’s the difference between a socialist and a Democrat?” Matthews asked again.

“I can tell you what I am, I am a progressive Democrat,” Clinton responded. “How is that different than a socialist?” Matthews asked a third time.

“I am a progressive Democrat who likes to get things done,” Clinton continued. “And who believes we’re better off in this country when we’re trying to solve problems together. Getting people to work together. There will always be strong feelings and I respect that, from, you know, the far right, the far left, libertarians, whoever it might be, but we need to get people working together. We’ve got to get the economy fixed, get all of our problems, you know, really tackled and that’s what I want to do.” (You know?)

(Way to dodge answering the question, Hillary! But, don't fret. Debbie Wasserman Schultz couldn't answer the same question from Chris Mathewws either.)

The News As I See It: A new company is offering customers a chance to cut their hotel bills in half if they are willing to share their room with a stranger. The company is called Jose Cuervo.

It came late, but El Niño finally arrived in Los Angeles. In case you didn’t know, El Niño is Spanish for "Little Boy." So apparently the reason El Niño was so late is because it wanted to make sure Jared Fogle was in prison.

Video has surfaced of employees of a Southern California Pizza Hut smoking marijuana on the job during New Year’s Eve. That explains why almost every pizza they delivered that night had a slice missing.

This Date In History: 1540; King Henry VIII of England married his 4th wife, Anne of Cleves. 1759; George Washington married Martha Custis. 1838; Samuel Morse gave the first public demonstration of the telegraph. 1912; New Mexico became the 47th state in the United States.

1919; Former president Theodore Roosevelt died in Oyster Bay, N.Y. 1987; University of California astronomers first witnessed the birth of a galaxy that contained 1 billion stars. 1994; Figure skater Nancy Kerrigan clubbed on leg by men including husband of rival skater Tonya Harding.

Picture Of The Day: Too much?

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) If the NSA has my house bugged, they've probably heard several impromptu songs about my cat Samantha being a good girl. 2) This kale salad tastes like I'm about done with New Year's Resolution number four. 3) I was sending an email and my computer tells me, "You're attachment is too large." I blushed and responded coyly, "My eyes are up here." 4) The Red Cross knocked on my door and asked if I could contribute towards the droughts in Iran, Pakistan and Syria. I said I'd love to, but my garden hose only reaches the end of the driveway. 5) I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll keep you posted.....and that's five !

Today's Horoscope: Capricorn - January 6th: You may wonder why the government doesn't have a charity where the government collects love from the wealthy-in-love and gives it to the love-starved. Hey, don't look at me, the concept works for the democrats.....

Birthdays: Heinrich Schliemann, archaeologist 1822, Carl Sandburg, American poet and biographer 1878, Tom Mix, actor 1880, Khalil Gibran, poet and novelist 1883, Abram Nicholas Pritzker, entrepreneur 1896, Loretta Young, actress 1913, Danny Thomas, actor, singer, dancer 1914, E L Doctorow, novelist 1931, Rowan Atkinson, actor 1955, Nancy Lopez, golfer 1957.

The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: After discovering her young daughter playing doctor with the neighbors boy, the angry mother grabbed the boy by the ear, dragged him to his house and confronted his mother.

The boy's mother said, "It's only natural for young boys and girls to explore their sexuality by playing doctor at their age." The girl's mother yelled, "Sexuality my ass! He took out her appendix!"

A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said, "Preacher, I’ll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!"

The preacher said, '"Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity." The man said, "I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!" The preacher said, "No shit?"

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A mother of five decides to get plastic surgery on her privates so her husband can enjoy the snugness she had in her youth. So, she heads off to the doctor for the procedure.

Once the procedure is done, she wakes up to find three roses on her bed, and asks the nurse who sent them. The nurse says, "The doctor wanted you to know he appreciates the business, so he left you a rose."

The nurse continued, "Then your husband came in with a rose, stating that he can't wait to feel the results of the surgery, so he left a rose, too."

The woman asked, "What about the third rose?" The nurse replied, "Oh, that's from Ed in the burn unit. He wanted to say thanks for the new ears."

Two 60 year old men sat talking over the weather and the latest in medical science when one brings up the latest male medical miracle, Viagra. The other wasn't familiar with Viagra and asked the first man what it was for.

The first man said, "It's the greatest thing I've ever known. The Fountain of Youth! Makes you feel like a man of 30." The second man then asked, "Can you get it over the counter?" The first man said, "Probably, if you took 2 pills."

That's it for today, my little hamsters. Remember, a weeping willow tree is just like a regular willow tree, only married. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.

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More on Friday.

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