Mocha in Muskoka

Whooee! Well, friends an' foes, ol' Dr. Dawg wrote hisself a parody version of ol' Merle Haggard's Okie from Muskokee an' it's all about how Tony Clement took $50 million earmarked for border security an' spent it on fixin' up his stompin' grounds so's he'd be sure an' get hisself re-elected. DawgFeller called his version Mocha in Muskoka. Balbulican suggested maybe I'd sing it so Balbu an' some o' his buddies got together an' recorded up a backup track (dang good pickin' an' fiddlin', sez I).

Here's the video.



Mocha in Muskoka

We don't vote for Dippers in Muskoka
We don't take our trips with LPC
We party with the party that delivers,
And our borders are secure enough for me.

I'm proud to sip my mocha in Muskoka
A place where money always grows on trees
We rock ourselves to sleep on this gazebo
'cause we like bein' rich and livin' free.

We're sparin' no expense in Tony's riding
We're fixin' up the place to make it nice
We'll lift your chandelier or we'll remove it
And the government will gladly pay the price.

I'm proud to sip my mocha in Muskoka
A place where money always grows on trees
We rock ourselves to sleep on this gazebo
'cause we like bein' rich and livin' free.

Armani's still in style for Bay Street lawyers
Arriving for their summer on the green
Croquet is still the roughest sport at Deerhurst
No "Occupy Muskoka" will be seen.

We still wave to Tony from the boathouse
In Parry Sound-Muskoka, Canada.

http://drdawgsblawg.ca/2011/12/mocha-in-muskoka.shtml

Ballad of Fake Lake - Updated with Video

Whooee! Well, friends an' foes, I posted up the lyrics yesterday an' now I got the audio-video with ol' JB screechin' an' a few pertinent pitchers.



The Ballad of Fake Lake

The legend lives on from Toronto on down
Of a six inch deep pond they call Fake Lake.
The lake, it is said, made the blue Cons turn red
When they realized they'd made such mistake.

With Muskoka chairs and canoes in the air
The fake lake was meant to thrill writers.
A pleasant surprise, there ain't no blackflies,
No mosquitoes or other skin biters.

Fake Lake was the pride of the Conservative side,
With fake loon songs and JumboTron pictures
Of real lakes and woods and handcrafted goods
And all the outdoors you could wish for.

Surrounded by concrete and security teams,
They relax by pool that's reflecting.
While they sip on free beer they need never fear
Uncouth Torontonians protesting.

They'll file their stories of promises made
That the G20 leaders had spoken.
But every man knew, as the leaders did, too,
Promises are made to be broken.

The dawn came early for the hungover scribes
And the G20 pow-wow had ended.
Outdoors they must go to the real world and so,
Reality's no longer suspended

Does anyone know where Steve Harper will go
The next time they hold a G20.
He'll be headed headed for Seoul, just another black hole
For wasting the taxpayers' money.

Ballad of Fake Lake (Edmund Fitzgerald)

Whooee! Well, friends an' foes, ol' Susan Delacourt put up a twitterin' tweet how she'd like to see some new lyrics to ol' Gord Lightfoot's Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald with a theme all about the G20 Fake Lake. Since I got me a little experience in re-writin' that there song, I took up the challenge. Here it is:

Ballad of Fake Lake

The legend lives on from Toronto on down
Of a six inch deep pond they call Fake Lake
The lake, it is said, made the blue Cons turn red
When they realized they'd made such mistake.

With a Muskoka chairs and canoes in the air
The fake lake was meant to thrill writers
A pleasant surprise, there ain't no blackflies,
No mosquitoes or other skin biters.

Fake Lake was the pride of the Conservative side
With fake loon songs and JumboTron pictures
Of real lakes and woods and handcrafted goods
And all the outdoors you could wish for.

Surrounded by concrete and security teams
They relax by pool that's reflecting
While they sip on free beer they need never fear
Uncouth Torontonians protesting.

They'll file their stories of promises made
That the G20 leaders had spoken
But every man knew, as the leaders did, too,
Promises are made to be broken.

The dawn came early for the hungover scribes
And the G20 pow-wow had ended
Outdoors they must go to the real world and so
Reality's no longer suspended

Does anyone know where Steve Harper will go
The next time they hold a G20
He'll be headed headed for Seoul, just another black hole
For wasting the taxpayers' money.

I ain't got time to sing it an' make a MP3 right now on accounta I gotta cook the macaroni an' cheese fer Ma's supper. Maybe I'll get it recorded tomorrow.

JimBobby

G8 Leaders Enjoy 6 Course Lunch, 8 Course Dinner Before Discussing Food Crisis

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, the more I read about this here G8 Summit, the more disgusted I get. One of the biggest troublems facin' the world is the worldwide food crisis. It was supposed to be high on the agenda at Toyako. For a wee glimpse into how far out of touch with reality the G8 leaders are, just consider how they dine.

Gordon Brown and his fellow world leaders have sparked outrage after it was disclosed they enjoyed a six-course lunch followed by an eight-course dinner at the G8 summit where the global food crisis tops the agenda.

The Prime Minister was served 24 different dishes during his first day at the summit – just hours after urging the world to reduce the "unnecessary demand" for food and calling on British families to cut back on their wasteful use of food.

Mr Brown and his wife Sarah were among 15 guests at the "blessings of the earth and the sea social dinner".

The dinner consisted of 18 dishes in eight courses including caviar, smoked salmon, Kyoto beef and a "G8 fantasy dessert".

The banquet was accompanied by five different wines from around the world including champagne, a French Bourgogne and sake.

African leaders including the heads of Ethiopia, Tanzania and Senegal who had taken part in talks during the day were not invited to the function.

The dinner came just hours after a "working lunch" consisting of six courses including white asparagus and truffle soup, crab and a supreme of chicken.

The lavish dining arrangements – disclosed by the Japanese Government which is hosting the summit in Hokkaido – come amid growing concern over rising food prices triggered by a shortage of many basic necessities.

On the flight to the summit, Mr Brown urged Britons to cut food waste as part of a global drive to help avert the food crisis.

Opposition politicians and charities condemned the extravagant meals.

Dominic Nutt, of Save the Children, said: "It is deeply hypocritical that they should be lavishing course after course on world leaders when there is a food crisis and millions cannot afford a decent meal to eat.

"If the G8 wants to betray the hopes of a generation of children, it is going the right way about it. The food crisis is an emergency and the G8 must treat it as that."

Andrew Mitchell, the shadow International Development Secretary, said: "The G8 have made a bad start to their summit, with excessive cost and lavish consumption.

"Surely it is not unreasonable for each leader to give a guarantee that they will stand by their solemn pledges of three years ago at Gleneagles to help the world's poor. All of us are watching, waiting and listening."

Mr Brown arrived at the G8 summit held on the holiday island of Hokkaido in northern Japan on Monday morning.

He arrived on a plane chartered from Texas, America, which had to fly empty for thousands of miles to pick up the Prime Minister and his entourage.

Unlike other countries, Britain does not have an official plane to transport the Prime Minister.

The lavish dining will embarrass Mr Brown, who has made tackling the global food crisis a key priority.

On the flight to the summit, the Prime Minister urged British people to cut food waste and "reduce unnecessary demand".

He said: "We need a global plan to deal with rising food prices that are affecting millions of families in Britain. That's why I am proposing that we take action to both increase the global supply of food and reduce unnecessary demand.

"If we are to get food prices down, we must also do more to deal with unnecessary demand, such as by all of us doing more to cut our food waste which is costing the average household in Britain around £8 per week."

Talks between world leaders at the summit will focus on dealing with soaring food and oil prices.

There is also hope for a breakthrough on protracted talks to secure a new global trade deal.

However, the leaders are facing criticism amid allegations that pledges for development aid promised for the third world at a previous G8 summit in Scotland have been watered down.

The Prime Minister's spokesman declined to comment on the menus.

I don't know for sure if Steve Harper was at that dinner. Or Baird. Or Mrs. Harper. Or the boy Harper. I do know that 1000 people died from starvation in the past hour and 1000 more are going to die in the next hour. I know that the money wasted on flying these so-called leaders to a lavish hob-nobbin' shoulder-rubbin' schmoozefest ain't solvin' the world's problems. The money spent on travel alone could have actually done something to alleviate suffering. Instead, our leaders gorge their puffy faces on expensive delicacies. What great examples of humanity!

JimBobby

Taking Out the Blue Box Even if China and India Don't

Whooee! Well friends an' foes, Pryminister Harper's still on the all or nothing bandwagon and he's gonna act as waterboy for his American Idol at the G8 Summit. Harper's refusing to act on climate change unless China and India act, too.

Here in my little town, the county comes and picks up our trash and recyclables on Fridays. Today bein' Thursday, I'll be out in the shed sortin' recyclables and makin' sure there ain't any recyclables mixed in with the non-recyclables. Later on tonight, I'll hike the trash barrel and the blue box out to the street. Usually, the blue box is crammed full and there's a tiny little trash bag. Composting helps, too.



Now, my recyclin' effort hardly amounts to squat in the big picture. Hell, it don't even amount to 2% of my street. If I didn't recycle, hardly anyone would notice and it probably wouldn't amount to a millionth of a percent of what gets recycled here in Norfolk County. Why should I take a few minutes from my busy Thursday to sort out recyclable stuff? Why should I carry both a blue box and a garbage barrel out to the street on Thursday nights?

Then, there's my do-nuthin' neighbours. They're born and bred Canadians but I'll call 'em the Indias and the Chinas. A couple doors down, we got the India family. They got four boys and they generate a heap of garbage. I see it when I walk by with ol' Spot on Friday mornings. The Indias usually got three bigass garbage bags and a half-full blue box. Sometimes, it's all garbage and no blue box, at all.

Down the street a little further, we got the Chinas. They ain't Chinese. Their fictitious surname is China. They got a bigass RV, 2 SUV's, a 24' power boat on a trailer, a riding lawnmower, some ATV's and some snowmobiles. They never, ever put out a blue box.

Now, I wouldn't mind if the county were to enforce some bylaws and restrictions that would give these anti-Earthers a not-so-gentle nudge in the right direction. That might do some good for ol' Mother Earth.

What sure as hell won't do any good for ol' Mother Earth is if I say I'm gonna quit recycling until my neighbours start doin' their share. That'd only make things worse. And who's gonna worry about me, anyways. Like I been sayin' to anyone who'll listen, I ain't even responsible for 2% of the total problem. Why should I act like a responsible citizen?

JB