I'm Not So Poor That I Need Your Two Cents

Yes, I am poor. I know that. My husband and I both work hard at our jobs every day like almost all other newlyweds to make ends meet. We do what we have to do. We make sacrifices and go without a lot of things just so we can put gas in the car and food on the table. We made the decision together to buy our condo in Payson. There are no places to rent in the valley that were cheaper than a mortgage, which is incredibly ridiculous. We made an investment. Payson is exploding right now with the temple being built and all the houses and businesses that are going up. The housing market is going up which means the value of our condo has already gone up in the couple of months that we have owned it. Our condo is in a supreme location and a great neighborhood. We had to move out and rent it to other people because we can't pay all our bills right now, but guess what. That just means that other people are paying our mortgage FOR US and building our equity while we use our hard earned money to pay the rest of our bills. 

Michael and I made the decision to invest in real estate TOGETHER and we don't regret that decision. We don't need people putting in their two cents saying how big of a mistake it was or how stupid we are, etc etc. We know what we are doing. Keep your nose out of our situation if all you are going to do is judge us and put us down. If you are going to be like that we don't need you in our life. Yes, the timing of us buying our dog Rosie was not the best. Did we find a suitable home for her and not lose a bunch of money in the process? YES. We wanted a dog so we got a dog. We took care of her and then sold her to a nice, loving family who could take care of her better than us at the present time. Don't say we are animal abusers, impulsive, ignorant, immature, etc. We don't need to hear any of that. We are good people, we have a great marriage, and we are happy. That is all anyone outside of us should care about. If you have any supportive remarks you want to make, then great. If you are just going to make snide comments and go on judgmental rants, save your breath because we don't want to hear it. 

Thank you to everyone who has been there for us and helped us out along the way. We appreciate all of you and everything you do. 

I Know How You're Operating

Oh Three Days Grace. You read my mind. 

Three Days Grace - Operate

I know how you’re operating

Only come around when you know that I need it

Cut out my heart and you leave me bleeding

But you’re the only one that brings out the demon

Like pills you make me righteous

Like I can rise above it all

Like pills you leave me lifeless

Shaken in a bathroom stall

Why you wanna do this

Don’t want to see you in my phone

Leave me alone

I know how you’re operating

Only come around when you know that I need it

Cut out my heart and you leave me bleeding

You’re the only one that brings out the demon

You bring it out

You bring it out

Like pills you grab a hold of me

One hit just makes me want you more

Until we’re in a motel room

Locked up behind closed doors

Why you wanna do this

Don’t want to see you in my phone

Leave me alone

I know how you’re operating

Only come around when you know that I need it

Cut out my heart and you leave me bleeding

You’re the only one that brings out the demon

You bring it out

You bring it out

You’re doing it now

You’re doing it now

You’re doing it now

It used to be

You brought out the best in me

Now it seems

You bring out the beast in me

I know how you’re operating

Only come around when you know that I need it

Cut out my heart and you leave me bleeding

You are the only one that brings out the demon

You bring it out

(You bring it out)

You bring it out

(You bring it out)

You bring it out

(You bring it out)

Election Day 2012

This is how I'm going to feel if Obama wins the election:

I had that exact reaction when I found out one of my friends was dating her ex again. And when I got home to find my little sister had gotten hot pocket cheese and muffin crumbs all over the carpet. It's been a Toby-comes-back-from-Costa-Rica kind of day. Go Mitt Romney.

100 Ways to Get Rid of An Obnoxious Roommate

To all of my facebook friends who may be reading this.....you probably know by now that my sister and I DESPISE our roommate. I nicknamed her FON the first week we lived together (stands for Freak of Nature). The list of freakishly obnoxious things she has done grow longer and longer by the minute. 

FIRST OF ALL.....she is dating the definition of a hipster and he is at the apartment more than my sister is. He sleeps over on almost a daily basis. They giggle and talk late into the night while taking over the whole first floor, which consists of our kitchen and living room. Leann and I have to stay in our rooms to avoid the awkwardness. I can constantly hear them while I'm trying to sleep and it makes me so frustrated and mad that I want to run down there and force feed her gluten until her irritable bowel syndrome acts up and turns her intestines into Old Faithful. 

SECOND OF ALL.....she thinks she's God's gift to this world and acts like the princess of our castle. She clips her toenails in the living room and leaves the clippings all over. She leaves her billions of dirty dishes around the kitchen along with her mountain of garbage. She leaves all the lights on in the apartment all the time and doesn't care because her parents pay for everything for her. She isn't in school right now so all she does is work 5 hours a day and then hang out in our living room with her stupid boy toy ALL THE TIME. When Leann and I have friends over, FON hovers with her boyfriend, awkwardly standing in the doorway, until we vacate the premises because of how awkward it is. The list of obnoxious things she does goes ON AND ON. 

Today was a breaking point. After her boy toy constantly being here and her doing all the obnoxious things she does, Leann and I finally decided to do something about it. So we are currently blasting rock and metal from the top of the stairs hoping it will force their anything-but-folk-music-intolerance to act up and leave so we can actually go downstairs. If that doesn't work, I guess Leann will just have to confront her since I am completely non confrontational and get anxiety at the very thought of having to deal with that awkward situation. OR.........we could try any number of the 100 Ways to Annoy Your Roommate that we found while googling how to get make her move out!

Here are some of my favorites:

1. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning. 
2. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for 5 minutes. Afterwards keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
3. Every time you see your roommate yell, "You son of a..." and kick him/her in the stomach. Then buy him/her some ice cream.
4. Set your roommate's bed on fire. Apologize and explain that you've been watching too much Beavis and Butthead. Do it again. Tell him/her that your not sorry because this time they deserved it.
5. Eat lots of Lucky Charms. Pick out all the yellow moons and stockpile them in the closet. If your roommate inquires, explain that visitors are coming, but you can't say anything more, or you'll have to face the consequences.
6. Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading!"
7. Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes.
8. Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."
9. If your roommate comes home after midnight, hit him/her on the head with a rolling pin. Immediately go to bed, muttering, "Ungrateful little..."
10. While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
11. Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the hell is my sandwich!?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.
12. Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."
13. Cover your bed with a tent. Live inside it for a week. If your roommate asks, explain that "It's a jungle out there." Get your roommate to bring you food and water.
14. Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
15. Sign your roommate up for various activities. (Campus tour guide, blood donor, organ donor)
16. Hit your roommate on the head with a brick. Claim that you were trying to kill a mosquito.
17. Instead of turning off the light switch, smash the light bulb with a hammer. Put a new bulb in the next day. Complain often about the cost of lightbulbs.
18. When you walk into the room, look at the roommate in disgust and yell, "Oh you're here!" Walk away yelling and cursing.
19. Buy a watermelon. Draw a face on it and give it a name. Ask your roommate if the watermelon can sleep in his/her bed. If your roommate says no, drop the watermelon out the window. Make it look like a suicide. Say nasty things about your roommate at the funeral.
20. Drink a cup of coffee every morning. When you finish it, gnaw on the mug for about ten minutes. Then look at your roommate, immediately put the mug away, and quickly leave the room.
21. Hold a raffle, offering your roommate as first prize. If he/she protests, tell him/her that it's all for charity.
22. Watch "Psycho" every day for a month. Then act excited every time your roommate goes to take a shower.
23. Go through your roommate's textbooks with a red pen, changing things and making random corrections. If your roommate protests, tell him/her that you just couldn't take it anymore.
24. As soon as your roommate turns off the light at night, begin singing famous operas as loud as you can. When your roommate turns on the light, look around and pretend to be confused.
25. Late at night, start conversations that begin with, "Remember the good old days, when we used to..." and make up stories involving you and your roommate.
26. Sit and stare at your roommate for hours. Bring others in to join you. Eat peanuts, throwing a few at your roommate. Then say, "Boy, these zoos just aren't what they used to be."
27. Buy a lobster. Pretend to play cards with it. Complain to your roommate that the lobster is making up his own rules.
28. Make pancakes every morning, but don't eat them. Draw faces on them, and toss them in the closet. Watch them for several hours each day. Complain to your roommate that your "pancake farm" isn't evolving into a self-sufficient community. Confide to your roommate that you think the king of the pancakes has been taking bribes

And this one I just want to do for fun :)

   29.  Buy some turtles. Paint numbers on their backs. Race them down the hall.

I'm hoping the blasting music thing doesn't work just so we can try some of these things.

Wish us luck with expelling the spawn of Satan!

So This Is What Adulthood Looks Like

Oh geez. Facebook is getting kind of obnoxious. Every other day, and sometimes every day, another person posts that they are engaged, or married, or pregnant, or things related to these subjects. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against marriage or pregnancy, but when that is what almost EVERY SINGLE POST on my news feed is about, it gets kind of old. Especially when I am nowhere close to relating to any of those things. Don't get me wrong, I really am happy for all of them. I'm not bitter about it or gonna go cry that I'm not married, I'm just in a different stage of life. I'm sure that once I get engaged, married, and pregnant I'll post all about it all the time too. But it's weird being one of the last ones of my friends not married. Now I gotta make all new friends, cause for whatever reason, married people don't hang out with single people that much. Probably cause like I said, we're in a different stage of life. Oh well. 

I did, however, make a grown up move today. I finally signed the lease to my new apartment after trying to get ahold of the landlord for over a week. 16 days till I move with my sissy poo to good ol' Provo. I'm excited :) But nervous to see what random person gets put in the apartment with us. I'm hoping for either a really weird person or a really cool person. Either way it will be entertaining. And school starts in exactly 3 weeks. Super weird cause it feels like I haven't gone to school in forever. But I'm excited for that too. Finally doing something productive other than working. So now I get to pay for school and rent on top of my car and insurance and all that crap. Yay for being a responsible adult :) I'm glad I can take care of myself. Thanks, Mom, for raising me that way :) 

Being Mormon in Happy Valley

The current presidential race has shone a lot of light on Mormons, due to the fact that candidate Mitt Romney is a Mormon. While the light has been shone, it hasn't all shown truths. I really don't understand what it is about the world and media that devotes almost all of its energy on tearing other people and beliefs down, whether the stuff they are saying is true or not. Most of the time it's not. What blows my mind the most is that people don't see the hypocrisy of it all. If a Mormon is around a group of non-mormons who are drinking, more often than not, they will be asked why they aren't drinking. They give their answer. And then they get harassed about it (not all the time, I'm not generalizing, but a lot of the time). Think about if the roles were reversed. That Mormon, being around a group of non-mormons drinking could ask them why the ARE drinking, and then harass them about it. They could shove their point of view down the non-mormons' throats all night long. And guess what. That Mormon would be considered arrogant, preachy, judgmental, etc. So how come it doesn't go both ways? How come people who aren't Mormons can harass Mormons about their beliefs, openly and harshly, but nobody says anything? Why is it ok for people to shove their anti-religious beliefs down Mormons throats, but when Mormons try and say what they believe they are being judgmental, un-accepting, and arrogant? I really don't get it. The hypocrisy is ridiculous. 


I read a post on the internet that said "Mormons are arrogant". Come on. Really? You're going to stereotype every single Mormon on the planet because maybe you met a handful of arrogant Mormons? I have lived in Utah Valley my whole life, so I have obviously been around my fair share of Mormons. Are some Mormons arrogant? Yes. Are all Mormons arrogant? No. Generalizations and stereotypes are ridiculous. Try not to be in the high school mentality, okay? Realize that not all people are what ONE person is. That's like saying all Hispanic people are illegal, or all Black people are criminals, or all White people are racist, etc, etc, etc. It's ridiculous. There are endless amounts of stereotypes and generalizations that are completely FALSE. 


I've heard people say that being a non-mormon in Utah sucks. Well guess what. Being a Mormon in Utah sucks too. I can imagine what it would be like to be the minority somewhere. I've grown up in an environment where the majority of the people around me have the same beliefs. It's a weird way to grow up, considering that most of the other places in the US aren't like that. Except in the South maybe....anyway. I can understand why it would be hard for non-mormons to try and fit in in Utah. Mormonism isn't just a religion in Utah, it's a culture too, because it's so condensed. I'll tell you a secret. It's hard for Mormons to fit in in Utah too. The Mormon culture is definitely unique. There are a lot of desserts involved, along with a lot of overly friendly people and pot luck dinners. There's a lot of pressure. A lot of insecurities. But most Mormons really are just trying to be good people. Sometimes Mormons might come off arrogant, because they ARE overly friendly and cheerful. It might come off fake or condescending. But guess what. Every single person in this world is just trying to live life the best way they know how. Nobodies opinions and beliefs are exactly the same. Mormons try to be friendly because the religion focuses on service and helping the people around them. Cue the enormous amounts of food. And crafts. Some Mormons ARE self righteous. But a lot aren't. 


I don't understand why people have so many negative things to say about Mormons anyway. The religion promotes lots of service, families, education, travel, morality, health, ethics, etc. None of those things sound bad to me. When there are natural disasters, Mormons are usually a huge part of the people who volunteer to help. When people are moving, Mormons usually stop by to help whether they know the person or not. If your neighbor is a Mormon and they see your sidewalk covered in snow, they usually come shovel it. Mormons donate to charity. They visit old people. They travel to 3rd world countries and try to help the people there. I'm not saying all Mormons are good people, cause some aren't. But nobody is perfect. Mormons aren't polygamists. They don't wear weird clothes or eat weird food. They don't live on compounds. They are regular people. 


I have been a Mormon my whole life, and will always be a Mormon. I am sick of people telling me that I let other people make my decisions and think for me, BECAUSE I'm Mormon. Just cause I've grown up being Mormon doesn't mean it's always been easy to be one. We all go through stages where we try to figure out what we personally believe. We question things and try to make sense of the world around us. I questioned a lot of stuff. I studied scriptures, read articles, prayed, soul searched, you know the drill. I came to believe, BY MYSELF, that I believe in the LDS church (aka Mormonism). Nobody forced me to believe it or brainwashed me. I make my own choices. I'm not saying that I don't still wonder about stuff and question stuff, but everyone does. We are all just trying to find a belief system that works for us. I am not a lemming who just follows along with everyone else. So people, STOP SAYING MORMONS DON'T MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS. We are normal freakin people like everyone else. We just believe in stuff that maybe you don't. Big deal. You can go smoke, drink until you puke, sleep around, steal, do whatever, and I don't care. I seriously don't judge. It's your life. I don't want people judging me for what I do, so I'm not going to judge anyone for what they do. It's their life, and their decisions, and if they decide to believe in Buddha, Ra, nobody, the cult leader down the street, GO FOR IT. More power to ya. I'm not going to force my beliefs on anyone, but if anyone wants to actually have an open, intellectual, respectful discussion about religion or just beliefs in general I'm completely open to it. Just don't come bash my religion and beliefs when you wouldn't want me to do that to you. Simple enough concept, I think. 


If you come to Utah, don't automatically assume everyone is judging you if you're not Mormon. Or that they're judging you BECAUSE you are Mormon and you might not live up to their standards or expectations or whatever. Live your life however it makes you happy. Don't judge other people. We are all human beings on planet earth and that is one thing that ties us all together. You know the saying "I'm only human"? Well it means we all make mistakes. We all have things we need to learn. So stop judging people because of the ways they are different from you, and try to focus on what is the same. We can all learn from each other if we just try. 


And that is the end of this rant. It didn't quite go where I was expecting it to go since I just winged it, but you get what I'm trying to say. I hope. 

It's Surreal That I'm Starting to Love Surrealism

Pinterest is awesome. I have found some really cool artists on there. Yesterday, there were a couple of amazing photographers I found. Their style is really cool. One of them is Martin Stranka, and the other is Lissy Elle. They both do surreal photography. I am really NOT into surreal paintings, but for some reason I really like these photos. I guess I like it for the same reason I like Tim Burton. It's different.

Martin Stranka

Lissy Elle

Who Knew Star Wars Could Change Your Life

Within the past week I have watched every Star Wars movie.

I watched them all in order for the first time (and by in order, I mean by order of the story, not order of how they were made). Weird thing is, I have come to some very life changing conclusions because of this. In Star Wars, Yoda says that Anakin has a lot of fear in him, and fear leads to anger, which leads to the dark side. I never thought about it that way. I mean, obviously fear and anger lead you to do bad things. If you give in to your fear and anger you move further away from what's good and closer to what's bad. Solution: when you get angry, try and figure out what you're afraid of, since all anger stems from some kind of fear. If you figure out what you're afraid of, you can try and work on not being afraid, which will help you find peace. 

2 Timothy 1:7 says: "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

 I also found a quote by Gandhi on my friend's facebook page that says, “There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever."

Worries are just fears, so it's the same principle. If you're worried or afraid, you just need to trust in God more. He knows what he's doing. I have trust issues like nobodies business, but you can always trust God. He has your best interest in mind and knows what's best for you. There is one surefire way to make God laugh, and that is to make life plans. He will think it's hilarious, and then lead you to the life you're supposed to have. That is a fact. 

Another thing I learned from Star Wars was to focus on life in the moment. Yoda tells Luke that one of his weaknesses was always looking for a future time of when he would be happy. Once he got off Tatooine he would be happy. Once he got out of where he was and started  a life somewhere else, THEN he would be happy. I have the same problem. Once I graduate, I will be happy. Once I move out of Utah, I'll be happy. Once I get a career I will be happy. Once I get married, have kids, and a cute little house with a white picket fence I will be happy. Weirdly enough, Star Wars has made me realize that you really need to just focus on living in the moment instead of wasting time thinking about a future time to fix all your sadness and/or anger. Make the most of every moment because you're lucky to have every moment you get. Life is too short to waste it wallowing in what you hate about your life. 

I read this quote on this girl's blog I follow that says, "Don’t just hang in there, enjoy yourselves. Travel, learn new skills, serve, do something that challenges you, work on making yourself a better person, and don’t worry about the rest…don’t worry about what you can’t change, but do worry about (and do something about) what you can. And be happy now…don’t wait for some event to make you happy…happiness is not some goal to be reached or destination…it’s a way of life!"

My goal is to learn and do lots of new things. For example, I'm learning how to draw those 3D chalk drawings people do on the sidewalk. I wanna take a pottery class. I wanna go fishing in a row boat on the lake. I want to hike up Timp FINALLY. I'm getting in shape. I'm saving up to move out. I will eventually get a motorcycle :) And the list goes on and on. I started a bucket list a long time ago so I will start trying to accomplish the things on my list. The future is as bright as you want to make it, and I plan on making my future a good one :) 

A Glimpse of the Past

Guess what. I love black and white photography. Obviously I like color photography as well, but I love old black and white photos. Old photos are like time machines that allow us to see what life was like back then, which I am fascinated by. Removing color turns the attention to the lighting, shapes,and composition which are sometimes overlooked when there are colors involved. Here are some of my favorite photographs in one of my photo books called The Photographers Eye by John Szarkowski. These photos are examples of why I am so passionate about photography. 

JACQUES HENRI LARTIGUE: Beach at Villerville, 1908

(My favorite part about this is the boat on the left)

WILLIAM SMITH: View across Chain Bridge, Washington, D.C., c. 1863. The Library of Congress

CLARENCE JOHN LAUGHLIN: The Fierce-Eyed Building, 1938

HARRY CALLAHAN: Detroit, 1943

MATTHEW B. BRADY or staff: Conspirator Payne, 1865. The Library of Congress

BILL BRANDT: No. 43 from Perspective of Nudes, 1957

MANUEL ALVAREZ BRAVO: Eating Place, c. 1940

GARRY WINOGRAND: Untitled, 1963

"There is a terrible truthfulness about photography. The ordinary academician gets hold of a pretty model, paints her as well as he can, calls her Juliet, and puts a nice verse from Shakespeare underneath, and the picture is admired beyond measure. The photographer finds the same pretty girl, he dresses her up and photographs her, and calls her Juliet, but somehow it is no good--it is still Miss Wilkins, the model. It is too true to be Juliet."

                                                            -George Bernard Shaw

MAX BURCHARTZ: Eye of Lotte, 1930. Otto Steinert, Essen, Germany

RICHARD AVEDON: Ezra Pound, 1958. Made for Harper's Bazaar

ROBERT FRANK: Parade, Hoboken, New Jersey, 1955, from The Americans

CHARLES NEGRE: Henry Le Secq at Notre Dame Cathedral, Paris, 1851. Calotype. 

ELLIOT ERWITT: Fontainebleau Hotel, Miami Beach, 1962

HENRI CARTIER-BRESSON: Children Playing in Ruins, Seville, Spain, 1933

JACQUES HENRI LARTIGUE: Glider Constructed by Maurice Lartigue, Chateau Rouzat, 1909

EDWARD STEICHEN: Sunday Papers: West 86th Street, New York, c. 1922

There Is No [wh]Y in Happiness

Today has been a sick day. I don't mind sick days as long as they are only once in a while. It forces people to rest and take care of themselves, which many people can't afford to do on a regular basis, depending on their job, school, or family situation. Or a combination of two or all of them. Anyway, sick days give me a lot of time to think. The things I see, read, hear, or do provoke a more intensive, deep thought process than they normally would. That may be a side effect of whatever type of meds I take for that particular problem, but I like to think it's more of my brain being more active and compensating for when my body has to be  more inactive. I have read a few things today that really caught my attention.


Number One: I ordered a fitness DVD called BBX Hardcore that finally arrived in the mail. It comes with a booklet with an entire 90 day meal plan, recipes, life coaching, stuff like that. One part that hit me said:

"You can't focus on the negative. You can't dwell on the wrong that you have done, or what other people have done to you; how crappy you feel, or how bad you think you look, or how nothing ever goes right for you. By focusing on the negative, you keep yourself there and so continues a very vicious cycle. Change begins with, ends with, and can only happen within you." -Dede Barbantts

Pretty deep for a fitness DVD huh?

Number Two: I started reading this book called "Broken for You" by Stephanie Kallos. I am only 34 pages into it, but it has already got me thinking. One part talks about how one of the characters read a book about writing down affirmations and says:

"If Wanda felt like writing, 'Nobody will ever love me again,' which, according to the book's author, was a lie, she wrote instead, 'A loving relationship awaits me.' If Wanda felt like writing, 'All men are [messed up jerks] who deserve to die,' she forced her hand into a steady calmness and wrote instead, 'There are good men in the world, somewhere.' If she felt like writing, '[Screw] the survival of the species. The world would be better off if humans became extinct,' she wrote, 'Save the whales.' And if she felt her spooks coming on, those familiar voices that said, 'You're going to die alone. People started leaving you when you were six years old and they're going to keep leaving you, so why bother?' she would print, as if she were competing for a penmanship prize, 'I love myself. I. Love. Myself. I do not need another person's love to make me whole.'"

Stephanie Kallos used relationships in that particular part of the book to describe affirmations, but I think it is actually a useful technique that can be applied to any situation. If you constantly tell yourself you are going to fail or that you are going nowhere, then that it what will happen to you. If you tell yourself you amazing and will succeed at whatever it is you put your mind to, then you will. I firmly believe we are our greatest roadblocks in life. We are the only thing holding ourselves back from reaching our full potential. We can spend all our time blaming God or the people around us, but in the end, deep down we all know that the blame really falls on us. 

Number Three: I was watching Community since I ran out of other things to watch and the character Jeff, played by Joel McHale said:

"He has nothing to prove or disprove about himself or to himself. He has no shame because he didn't care if you knew. We can't keep going to each other until we learn to go to ourselves. We need to stop turning our hatred of ourselves into someones else's job and just stop hating ourselves."

Now, taken out of context it doesn't make tons of sense. And granted, Community is about stupid humor and being sarcastic most of the time. But what I got from it was that the reason we sometimes hate ourselves is because we feel like we have to prove ourselves in comparison to those around us. We constantly compare our shortcomings to other people's strengths and beat ourselves up for NO GOOD REASON. I read somewhere once something along the lines of, "Would you be friends with someone who talked to you the way you talk to yourself." Essentially, if someone criticized you and was as hard on you as you are on yourself, you probably wouldn't want to be around them. We should all cut ourselves some slack every now and then. Nobody is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone has room for improvement, no matter how old they are. We should all try to be more positive and nicer to ourselves and the people around us. I think that is one thing that could help us all in the pursuit of happiness. And as Will Smith says ON The Pursuit of Happyness,

"There is no [wh]Y in happiness."

Somebody That I Used to Know

Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye

I have loved this song ever since the first time I heard it. Until a few days ago I had never really listened to the lyrics. After hearing it on the radio at work at least twice a day, I have the lyrics memorized. That made me realize something. It's as if the song has come from my innermost thoughts. Finally, how I really feel has been made known to me, through a song. Just goes to show you how important music is. 

The Golden Rule

Alright. I need to get something off my chest that has been bothering me for a while. I am going to discuss equality. I want to start off by saying that I am completely accepting of all races and all religions. I want to make that very clear before I say what I need to say. I am not racist in the slightest and I feel that everyone has the right to choose what religion, if any, they want to be a part of. If you choose not to have a religion that's great too because that's your choice and I don't judge you in the slightest. You know why? Because I don't want anyone judging me for how I choose to live my life. It's called the Golden Rule people, do unto others as you would have them do. 

I am getting pretty sick of everyone trashing mormons. We are not brainwashed. We are not a cult. We do not practice polygamy. We are, in fact, Christians despite popular belief. We have our own minds and we do what we think is right. We don't simply do things because the church says its right and follow along blindly. We have our agency and we use it to make up our own minds. My sister is living out in Oregon right now and people are constantly asking her why she doesn't smoke and stuff like that. It's not because she thinks she's better than anyone because she doesn't smoke and they do. It's because she has made a personal choice not to, and people should respect that. Those people don't want her telling them not to smoke and openly judge them for it, so they should stop judging her for not doing and continually pressure her to smoke. It's ridiculous how so many people don't see that they are doing to other people exactly what they complain about people doing to them. It infuriates me actually. STOP BEING HYPOCRITES!!!

The second thing I need to vent about is racism. It is getting pretty old how people are racist against Caucasians, yet it isn't seen as racism. There is Black History Month every year. There were Latinos in Action at my high school. And there are constantly movies released that have an all African American cast. Is there a Caucasian History Month? No. Because people would get sued until the day they died for suggesting it. Are there Caucasians in Action groups in schools? No. Because that would be "racist towards all other races" according to society. Are there movies that are purposefully made with an all Caucasian cast? No. Because that would be "discriminatory" and "unacceptable". I don't get why it's okay for people to be racist against Caucasians. We are still a race, and people are discriminatory against us. People talk about wanting equality all the time, but often they are the ones causing the inequality. 

Anyway, that's all. 

Do the Creep

I like to watch people. Don't worry, it's not in a creepy stalker way. Even though my old roommates and I would creep on the guys in the building across from us when they would have their blinds open. If you're walking around shirtless with rock hard abs and your blinds wide open you obviously want people to look at you. We were just obliging :) Lol anyway, I am super fascinated by people. I like to think that I have been blessed with the gift of observation. I feel like I notice more about my surroundings and about people around me than many others do. My mom said even as a kid I would be fine to just sit and watch people. I'm totally cool doing that too, I like watching how other people interact and seeing how they react to different situations. 

In high school I thought about going into sociology once I got into college, but I didn't wanna work for the government (which is basically all you can do) so I decided not to. I love anthropology, psychology, sociology, history, you name it. Anything that deals with people and what they did or currently do. I think that is why I love books, tv, and movies so much is because they are stories. I'm actually really passionate about figuring out why we think and act the way we do. I feel like by watching lots of different kinds of people it helps me figure out myself in the process. For example, sometimes when I see someone react a certain way to a situation, I think about how I would react to the situation and try to figure out why my reaction would be different. What leads me to react my way, and what leads the other person to react their way. Might sound nerdy but I think it's pretty cool. 

People watching has actually helped me become a less judgmental person. Instead of judging why people are doing what they are doing I just think there is an underlying reason (or reasons) to why they act a certain way. Nobody is perfect, and people act a way for a reason. Yes, we can control our actions. No, we shouldn't blame our behavior on our situation. But things that happen to us influence our personalities and behaviors. This world would be a better place if people stopped judging each other and cut each other some slack every once in a while because you never know why people are doing what they are doing. 

I am really into Buddha. 

Laugh all you want but Buddhism contains a lot of really good philosophies on life and has actually helped me become a better person in my opinion. As they say in Sons of Provo, "Mormons can be Buddhist too." Here are some Buddhist quotes I really like that pertain to this subject:

"What is the appropriate behavior for a man or a woman in the midst of this world, where each person is clinging to his piece of debris? What's the proper salutation between people as they pass each other in this flood?"

"Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill."

That's all :)

Everyone Is Getting Married

 

Oh Barney Stinson, you read my mind! 

Here in Happy Valley this is how it feels ALL THE TIME. I'm only 20 and already most of my friends from high school are married, some even have kids. It's like every other day someone is posting on Facebook how they are engaged. Ridiculous. It's an epidemic.

I personally believe people should do whatever they feel is right for them when it comes to marriage and kids, no matter how other people feel about the situation. They are the ones who are going to have to live with the consequences, be them good or bad.

Because of this belief of mine, I am SERIOUSLY sick of people constantly asking me if I'm dating anyone and telling me I need to get married soon. It's like the second people hear that I'm single they ask me a million questions trying to dissect every little thing to figure out WHY I'm single. They try to fix me. They give me all these suggestions about how I need to change so my knight in shining armor will come galloping in on his horse and save me from my "wretched single life". 

Let me remind you: I am only 20 years old. I think the amount of pressure around here to get married the second you get out of high school is ridiculous. I think a lot of people rush into marriage too young just because they feel like that's what is expected and they should get started making a family as soon as possible. 

I don't think a lot of people give themselves enough time to figure themselves out before they tie themselves to another person. It takes a lot of time to get to know yourself, and I believe it is worth taking that time before making the biggest decision of your life. 

Because my parents are divorced, I am in no rush to marry the first guy who comes along. I may be too cautious when it comes to this, but I have seen how divorce affects people, even without kids, and it is my life goal to never get divorced. To achieve this, I am just going to make sure that I am 100% positive that the guy I marry is "the one" or whatever. 

I'm going to make sure that I don't hope he will change somewhere down the road.

I'm going to make sure that he brings out the best in me and I do the same to him.

I'm going to make sure that I can picture a life with him, without ANY doubts.

I'm going to make sure of a lot of things. 

Making sure of all these things will take time. I'm sure when I meet whoever I'm supposed to marry, I'll know. So I would really appreciate people stopping putting their two cents in about my life and how I'm behind on popping out babies. It's not like I'm 50 and I've never been married. 

I've got time. I'm doing my own thing. I'll get married when God wants me to. So if you really want to know why I'm not married, how about you ask God and leave me alone lol.

A Breath of Fresh Air

I love things that are different. I feel inspired by them. Differences are what make this world interesting. 

I love this music video. Selena Gomez is gorgeous and talented, even if she is dating Justin Bieber. I love how creative and different the video is.

Selena Gomez & The Scene

Love You Like a Love Song

I think this music video is hilarious and true. Also it is a fun use of collage.

Toby Keith

American Ride

I'm not ashamed to admit I like America's Next Top Model. It's entertaining and the photographs are usually amazing. Allison Harvard has been my favorite out of all the seasons.

This is one of my favorite photographs she was in.

She's really different but she's amazingly talented. Her huge eyes are what throws most people off when they look at her. 

They are currently doing an All Star season and she is on it. Their latest challenge was to write a song and sing it in a music video. Hers was weirdly cool. She kind of reminds me of a Tim Burton character in this video.

 

Speaking of Tim Burton, I recently saw Coraline for the first time a couple of weeks ago and even though it is weird, I like it. I love the music on it and the animation is so creative. 

 I am also a fan of Project Runway. Deal with it. The latest winner, Anya Ayoung-Chee, is fantastic. She was my favorite and I'm glad she won.

This is her

 

I never thought any woman could look good with half a shaved head but she pulls it off. She is from Trinidad, which I think has definitely influenced her style. 

She is amazing with prints. I loved the dress she wore at Fashion Week.

She also designed this:

And lots of other stuff like that. I'm glad she won. She just barely learned to sew weeks before going on the show and she won. She's inspirational because even though she didn't have the technique the other designers had, she had the creativity and that's what helped her win. I can relate to her in that way, of not having all the technical skills. 

Technique can be taught, creativity can't. 

Anyways, enjoy :)