Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts

Sunday, April 13, 2014

How Wonderful Life Is...

Monday, April 7th, started out just like any other day.  Actually it started out better.  I was having a great day.  A baby swing I had been wanting popped up on KSL for only $35 and was for sale just 5 minutes away from us.  I was feeling blessed.  Jason had the morning off so we went and picked it up and then took Ashton to the park.  I actually played with him, rode the see-saw and everything.  I've been on so called "bed rest" since the little babe tried coming early back in February.  Dr. Lind would set goals, "lets get you to 34 weeks" "36 weeks would be good, but I doubt I'll see you"... but low and behold I was still making it to all those appointments.

I was pretty proud of myself every morning that I woke up and was still pregnant. However once I got past 36 weeks I started feeling like I was done.  At about 35weeks I started swelling like I had with Ashton and my blood pressure was getting higher, all the signs of preeclampsia that I had before Ashton came.  We had an extra ultra sound at 33 weeks because I was measuring so large, they discovered that baby was big, 75th percentile (Ashton always measured big too), and that I definitely had a ton of fluid.  No surprise there.  By my 36 week appointment I was measuring 42 weeks.  I was huge.  I had gained over 10lbs more weight than I had with Ashton, around 50lbs all together.  That's a lot of weight! I was so swollen my hands and feet ached, I was just crazy uncomfortable, but I wasn't having any real contractions either, so I was really feeling like I was just going to be pregnant forever.

Back to Monday, after the park and Jason went to work, Ashton and I just had a day.  I decided that I was done resting, and was just going to resume normal activities.  I took him to ride his bike around the block, we played in the backyard, I even picked him up and carried him.  Much to his excitement.  I was watching him play in the backyard and just felt like my heart was going to burst.  I felt like this day was different, like I needed to soak up every last second with this little boy.

Jason got home at about 9:30pm.  When he came in I told him we should probably pack our bags.  I wasn't having any contractions whatsoever, but I just knew.  At about 10:00pm Ashton was in his jammies ready for bed and I was just wiping off the kitchen counters when my water broke.  Such a surreal thing.  I was just laughing as I ran to the bathroom and just let the water flood out.   Ashton came in after me and just kept repeating "water broke? water broke?!" and wouldn't let Jason come in.  We called Annalise who came over to stay with Ashton while my Mom drove down from Morgan.  Alex and Toni ended up coming over after we left as well.  They said Ashton was so excited, whether he understood what was happening or not he definitely knew it was a big deal.  Or he was just excited that he was getting to play with three of his favorite people well past bed time.

We were delivering at American Fork Hospital this time, once there they set me up in a room and told me that Dr. Lind was actually on call that night, everything was just lining up perfectly!  He was delivering another mom at the moment, so they said they would get the OR ready and that they would take me back in about an hour.  I wasn't having any real contractions still, I maybe had 7 bad contractions all together before I was taken back to the OR for my spinal block.  Much easier than when I went in at 31weeks.

Knowing you are going to have a c-section is so much better and less stressful than an emergency one.  They took me back, I think they made me walk back actually, I was still nervous and scared, that room needs some nice paint and maybe some soothing pictures of the ocean.  I started shaking, I was freezing, the spinal block wasn't fun, but after that I just had to lay there.  I asked them to turn on music, cause that dead silence is awkward and makes things feel weird and anxious.  I can't remember what they turned on now, it wasn't my choice of music but it put everyone in a good mood.  They were saying how they wished they could have music on all the time.  Everyone was just taking there time getting things ready and joking around with each other.  Such a different experience from before! Jason came back all gowned up and excited.  He loves watching these things.  The Dr even told him he could go on the other side of the sterile curtain to watch.  I asked him to hold my hand instead, but at some point in the procedure they called him over and he just left and went to watch! I was shocked in the moment, but not mad. I don't remember doing this but I guess I asked the anesthesiologist to hold my hand instead.  Jason said it was really cool to watch from that view though, and I really am glad he got to see that.

Our little guy was born at 12:42 am on Tuesday, April 8th, 2014.  I was 37 weeks.  
8lbs 3oz. and 20.5 inches long.
Dr. Lind held him up over the curtain to me as soon as he pulled him out.  Gooey, purple, baby not the cutest site in the world,but he was here! He was crying loud and lots, this is the best sound!  They said he was the biggest baby they had delivered that night.  After he was cleaned up and swaddled Jason brought him over to me.  I only got to see him for what felt like a few seconds.  He didn't score well on the APGAR scale, he was acting a little pre-mature as far as his coloring and being floppy like Ashton was.  He was also having a hard time breathing.  They took him to the nursery and Jason went with him while they stitched me back up.  My blood pressure had been really high so they treated me for pre eclampsia and gave me magnesium.  They warned me that the magnesium was going to be rough.  Boy were they right I can't even explain how it made me feel.  Any nurse that came in and read my chart said they felt bad for me having to be on that.  I was moved to a recovery room where I got really sick, more fun side effects from the mag.  Throwing up right after abdominal surgery is never a good thing.  
The rest of the night/morning is a blur.  I remember a nurse coming in around 4:00am and saying that they had moved the baby to the NICU, he had a slight heart murmur and they were running tests to see why his lungs were having such a hard time.  
I remember being so frustrated.  I had tried to do everything right this time, three weeks wasn't that early, my baby wasn't suppose to be in the NICU he was suppose to be in my room!!!  When they brought in a pump and said I would need to start pumping I was even more upset.  I wanted to feed my baby.  I wanted to have those experiences.  I let the machine sit there and said I would do it in an hour, praying I would be able to feed him on my own instead.  Within that time the NICU called and said I could come down and try and feed him.  I was so excited that I would be able to try and feed him first, rather than someone else.  Sadly with all the drugs I can't even remember going down there, once again I don't remember holding my baby for the first time.  This is the part I think I hate most about my c-sections, not being able to remember such a special moment.
(Jason snapped this picture of me getting to hold him for the first time, I could hardly keep my eyes open)
We were so blessed and he only needed to be in the NICU for about 12 hours, we got to bring him back in our room around 5:00pm on Tuesday.  I loved having his little bed right by mine so I could watch him. I loved feeling like things were more "normal".  I loved watching Jason take care of him since I wasn't able to do much yet.  I loved watching him look at him with such pure love and joy in his eyes.
He was so adorably handsome, I never wanted to stop looking at this new little man in my life. We had perfect moments in the hospital together.  

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Perfect Love Day

I've always loved Valentine's Day.  I love it even more now, especially since I get to spend it with these two Valentine's of mine. 
(This is one of the best pictures of these two.  Seriously makes my heart skip a bit I love them so much!)

Since our Anniversary is the following week, we've turned Valentine's Day more into a family celebration of love rather than just about the two of us.  It's perfect because the following week it is much easier to get a dinner reservation!  

I started planning Valentine's Day out in January.  I had so many ideas, while not all of them happened, the ones that did were absolutely perfect.  I was so happy, excited, filled with pure JOY! that I literally couldn't even hold still or stop smiling the whole time.  
Jason had to work on Valentine's Day but he had the day before off so as our special Vday activity we headed up to Midway to explore the Ice Castles.  Ashton loved them.  They were amazing to look at and so fun to walk through.  We went on a warmer day so things were getting pretty melty.  Ashton loved picking up ice chunks and throwing them or trying to catch water drops in his mouth (until it landed in his eye and that was the end of that).  Unfortunately it ended up raining on us so we didn't spend as much time there as I think we would have otherwise.  
The next stop was Dairy Keen.  Ashton is absolutely obsessed with trains.  It is the first thing he wants to play with in the morning and when we ask him what he is going to dream about at night it is always trains.  Needless to say I thought this was the perfect place for him, "home of the train".  It was even better than I remembered it.  It had the big train that goes around the ceiling that he was mesmerized with the whole time and it also had train pictures and model train decorations all around that he loved pointing out to us.  There was even a big train table with tons of trains and tracks that he could play with.  He left the restaurant in tears because he never would have left otherwise.  
On Valentine's Day we had a yummy family breakfast of cinnamon rolls.  We were all about making presents this year.  I made Ashton an alphabet book with pictures of him doing different activities ("A is for Ashton, B is for Bike" etc.)   Ashton and I gave Dad some presents/arts and crafts cards we had made with some treats.  
Jason had hidden love notes all through out the house so while he was at work he would text me a hint to find each one.  I loved this because it made the entire day special.  He also made me a dozen red duct tape roses.  A few years ago I got pretty upset with him for getting me waaaaaay to expensive flowers.  I couldn't stop smiling over these handmade roses that will last me much much longer than real flowers.  I love that Jason is thoughtful enough to look up how to make something like this and then spend all that time making something just for me.
  

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2013


Recap of 2013

This is hands down one of my favorite pictures from this past year. 

Live: Alpine, Utah
Drive: BMW, and a Mazda6 (yes we got a new car AGAIN, it was an early anniversary present... more to come on that later). 
Work: Blue Lemon for Jen and then not Blue Lemon for Jen. Spring mobile for Jason and IHC working as an EMT up at Snowbird.
School: BYU for Jase half the year, then GRADUATION!
Church Callings: Jason got called to the Elders Qurom Presidency and is now serving as secretary.  Jen is still on the RS Activity Committee and also taught the 7 turning 8 year olds.
Pets: One goldfish.  Ash also thinks he is either a dog or a cat 50% of the time. 
Traveled to: Hawaii for Mom and Dad, Park City trip for all of us, plus another Park City trip just for grown ups.  As well as a big family trip to Florida.
Highlights/Big Events: Traveling firsts, The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, the beach! Playdates with friends.  Graduation, completing and passing the MCAT, Med School acceptance(s).  Lots of biking.  Moving on to new adventures and being able to stay at home with Ashton all day every day.
Sent Stephanie off on her Mission.  Aunt Stephy was easily Ashton's favorite, she will be missed but Georgia is lucky to have her.
Lost Grandpa Joseph Beckstrand, who is now reunited with his love in the eternities.  He was not only a war hero and POW captured at Battle of the Bulge, but from everything I have heard he was a real world hero of a man that we are honored to be related to.  It was one of the most memorable and inspiring funerals I have ever attended.

Last Years Goals: "Play harder, laugh more, make it to the Temple, find time for each other even with our busy school/work schedules, try and drive the same cars all year long, take the MCAT, graduation, hug Ashton till he just can't take it anymore."

Well we definitely played harder, having a mobile child the whole year sure makes that more possible and fun! Ashton makes us laugh daily, sometimes I cry I laugh so hard with him.  He has the greatest laugh and cracks up any time I think somethings funny, which just makes me laugh harder.  We were able to attend the temple more, but not as often as we should/need to.  Going through the Temple with Stephanie this past year was a great experience as well as attending Alex's sealing for her wedding.  We almost made it with the same cars the whole year... so close! We can definitely cross off the MCAT and graduation and hugging Ashton.

Goals for 2014: Attend the temple more will probably always be a goal, I guess it is never wrong to want to go more.  Seek the spirit more often, church often turns into a blur with Ash, but now that he is in Nursery I'm finding more peace and light through even the littlest moments in primary.  I want to stay caught up on this blog and write more personally.  Not because I think anyone out there cares, but because I want to remember my thoughts and feelings and be able to look back on the moments that created our family.  Live in the moment.  I'm a planner, and tend to plan far in advance and forget about the now.  I want to remember the NOW, and live in the moment and cherish the days, hours, minutes, and seconds, with Ashton. 

2014 is a big year for us.  We are headed to Texas for the start of Med School.  A new chapter in our lives.  We are also welcoming baby number 2. 
 Little Brother is due April 26th!  

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

2012 according to Instagram

2012 couldn't have been much better.  
We saw so many changes and experienced so many firsts with our little man.  
Every day was a new adventure.  

Since this blog has turned more into a journal/scrapbook than anything else and most of my memories are on Instagram now, these are the photos that I just don't want to forget.

Like smiles.
The best baby eyes ever,
and baby toes.

We went to a few BYU games.
(9 months)
Worked on our muscles
so we could show them off at Seven Peaks.
(7 months)
Had the best cuddles. 
Helped Dad with homework projects
and helped Aislinn, Alex, Annalise, and Mom at work LOTS.
We played with puppies
(9 months)
and a few more of Ashton's favorite things.
Ashton loves snuggling all things soft but he loves driving and playing in cars even more.
Getting to eat solids was a pretty exciting thing this past year,
(7 months)
anything end everything from straight onions to spaghetti, to raspberries, to donuts, he loved it all.
We walked for a cure with CureSearch again, go team Super Skyler!
(10 months)
Got a new car seat
(7.5 months)
and learned about computers, teeth brushing, cooking, and some light reading.  
Adventured with Mom to California
(5.5 months)
and to Idaho for a family reunion.
Had an amazing Baby Blessing.
(3 Months)
The best Halloween
(11 months)
and a perfect Birthday.
Recap of 2012
Live: Alpine, Utah
Drive: BMW, and a Prius (yes we got a new car, and yes I miss the Maxima, and yes we now drive a Prius, check out our gas mileage and you won't make fun of us).
Work: Blue Lemon for Jen
School: BYU for Jase
Church Callings: 12 year old Sunday School teachers and RS Activity Committee
Travelled to: Canada for Jason, California for Ashton and Mom, Idaho a few times for all, Las Vegas for Jen and Jason, and St. George for all.
Highlights: Baby firsts, swimming, baby laughs, Band of Horses, the zoo, Real games, playing, crawling, walking, all things Ashton.
Goals for 2013: Play harder, laugh more, make it to the Temple, find time for each other even with our busy school/work schedules, try and drive the same cars all year long, take the MCAT, graduation, hug Ashton till he just can't take it anymore.

My favorite Insta pictures of 2012 that haven't made it onto other posts:
 (5 months)
 (3.5 months)
( 9.5 months)
(4 months)
(11 months)
(4.5 months)

Oh the many faces of Ashton Jay

Saturday, June 16, 2012

50 years of LOVE

My Grandparents celebrated their 50th anniversary this June.  They are such an amazing example to me of strength, pure love, endurance, humility, kindness, patience, and happiness.  I have always had a very special place in my heart for both of my grandparents.  Being the oldest grandchild I think I got to be a little extra spoiled.  Having my Uncle only four years older than me, and my Aunt only 6, made me feel more part of the "kids" and not so much the "grandkid".  I loved visiting Grandma and Grandpa growing up.  Which we only got to do maybe twice a year since we were in Washington most of my childhood and they were in Idaho.  I remember my little brother and I use to swing on our swing set as high as we could thinking and hoping it would lift us off the ground and we could fly all the way to their house and land on the neighbors trampoline.  
My Grandpa has Alzheimers and has been dealing with it for about 3 years now.  It is progressively getting worse and worse, but for the most part he still knows we are his family, he just can't quite figure out how.  My grandma still takes care of him, the house, and all the rest of us, while faithfully serving in all of her church callings.  She truly amazes me.  We wanted to throw them a big party with all of their friends and family.  But things are a bit more tricky now with Grandpa so we opted for a more intimate party with just us close family members.  Every other year we get together for a family reunion.  This year it was at Island Park, Id.  
(just missing 3 people this year I think)
This was the first time most of the family was going to be meeting Ashton and I was so excited for him to meet his little cousins.  Especially Jase who is just a few weeks younger than him.  They will be best buds I'm sure of it!
We went for a hike to Mesa Falls, ate yummy food and spent lots of time together.  
I will admit camping with a baby is much harder than I ever imagined it would be.  I think I forgot about naps, and the fact that it is very loud with 40+ grandchildren running around all the time.  Jason was such a good sport and spent the majority of the time trying to find quite places to let Ashton rest.
On June 15th, we distracted Grandma and Grandpa and setup the "mess hall" with all the decorations I could come up with.  

I got put in charge of decorating, and I think it didn't turn out half bad for camping. 

We managed to surprise them (or at least that's what they say). We had their wedding cake recreated and displayed pictures and a slide show of them and did some gifts and of course ate cake.  
It wasn't much but, Grandma if you are reading this, I hope you know we wanted to make things so special and that we all love you and Grandpa so very much.  I am in tears just writing this with how much I care about you both.  
Congrats on 50 years.  You have set the bar so high for all of us!
(pictures like this make my heart happy)