Womanhood

I've mentioned before how I am a little new to relishing in womanhood. I grew up with a "Girl Power" mom, who raised us to know that we could ALWAYS do whatever a boy/man could do. Sometimes I think I took that lesson a little too far and began to look down at the female sex--like most women were so weak, they didn't understand they could do anything a man could do.

The older I get, the more I start to take pride in being a woman! In our church, we have a woman's organization called Relief Society. We meet together for an hour on Sunday's to learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ together. I love learning and being able to share with one another from a woman's unique perspective.

Our particular Relief Society group meets once a month on Wednesday nights, in addition to Sundays, to have a "Mother Education Classes." Last night the class was on infertility, adoption, and family planning. Three ladies spoke about their various struggles with infertility and the paths that struggle has taken them down. Something that hit me was how varied each of their particular situations were. Each was caused by health problems, but each was extremely unique and different from one another. It's a wonder that anyone is ever able to have a baby!

I don't think it'd be my place to share each of their specific stories, since it is obviously such a personal struggle. However, I did want to share what I took away from last night. The biggest lesson was that we NEVER have any idea what other people are going through. If you looked at these ladies, you would see good-looking, well put together, successful, kind, service-oriented people. Your first thought would never come to the battle they have fought for multiple years, if not decades. My uncle always says, "If you go into a room with your problems in a bag, you'll look around that room and see what's in everyone else's bag, and you'll always walk out of that room with your own bag." It gave me a stronger resolve to be a little kinder to everyone I come in contact with. You never know the battle they are fighting and the struggle it took for that person to be standing in front of you at that moment.

Last night reminded me to slow down. This is something I am always trying to overcome. I often react to situations, instead of taking a step back and seeing the bigger picture or thinking about the repercussions of my actions. In this scenario, that means I often ask questions that are none of my business--"Do you guys know when you want to have another baby?" I shudder at how many times I have asked that in the last 6 months alone. It honestly was coming from a place of goodness and eagerness to make bonds with all of the new people I've been meeting. However, when held up to the experiences of these ladies, I obviously see the error in my ways. After their presentation I was talking with a few of the ladies and I realized that the best possible reaction to have when someone reveals their struggles is to have respectful honesty. What I mean by that is, you don't have to have some grand statement to get them through their struggle, a simple, "I'm so sorry" really does suffice. I find myself not wanting the other person to feel awkward and so I just. can't. stop. talking!

A few of them gave examples of off the cuff remarks they have received--"At least you won't gain weight" because of adoption, or "You're so lucky you get to sleep-in on Saturdays" because they have no kids. It's hard because, I can see how someone would say that without realize the repercussions of their statement, but I'm reminded of one of my very first posts (read at your own risk! That was a venting post from a very dark time in my life..yikes!) from long long ago--try to help the person in the situation, not yourself. What would they like to hear, what would help them? It goes against our natural being and it's hard! But obviously the right thing to do.

Lastly, one of the ladies shared something that I hope I will always remember. (I wish I could have just recorded how she said it, but here's the best I can do from memory!) She said that she used to always say, "This isn't fair, life isn't fair, why is this happening to me?" A friend of hers that dealt with infertility said to her, "Life isn't fair, and that is a miracle. It is because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ that life isn't fair. If it weren't for him, we would all have had to suffer on the cross for our sins, but he did it for  us. Thank goodness life isn't fair!"

This whole post was to tell you that I love being a woman! There is a bond with woman that cannot be described or duplicated by men. Sometimes I see women judging one another or battling over breastfeeding/bottlefeeding, co-sleeping, etc. and it makes me so sad! There's no need to compete with each other when we could all just use this bond to build one another up. The emotional bond we have is unreal and makes me so proud of who I am.

I Need Thee O I Need Thee

I need thee ev'ry hour,

Most gracious Lord.

No tender voice like thine

Can peace afford.

(Chorus)

I need thee, oh, I need thee;

Ev'ry hour I need thee!

Oh, bless me now, my Savior;

I come to thee!

I need thee ev'ry hour;

Stay thou nearby.

Temptations lose their pow'r

When thou art nigh.

I need thee ev'ry hour,

In joy or pain.

Come quickly and abide,

Or life is vain.

I need thee ev'ry hour,

Most holy One.

Oh, make me thine indeed,

Thou blessed Son!

Text: Annie S. Hawks, 1835-1918

Be Thou My Vision

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light. 

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Words: Dallan Forgail (8th Century)

Daily Bread

This morning, I woke up and tended to the important business of catching up on all the blogs I like to read. Blog after blog continued to talk about fall and how it was quickly approaching, or in some places, beginning to show its early signs. That must have stuck with me subconsciously as I got dressed. I put on a pair of jeans, rolled them into capris, put on my black camisole with a shirt over it, got J dressed in roughly the same type of clothes, walked outside (sans the usual water bottles), and DIED of heat! Fall may be coming, but not any time soon in the Midwest! We are still very much so in the summer temps--at least for this Alaskan girl!

Hello, friends! I'm hoping to start blogging more regularly now that summer is, kind of, winding down. Way too much has happened to try to catch up, so I'll just start with now and we'll all have to wait and see if catching up is really in the cards.

***

I wanted to share a few videos I came across that really spoke to my soul this morning. We've been going through some trials lately that I honestly never saw coming--which I guess is the case with most trials in life. I'm one of those pretty cold hearted and, most likely, emotionally stunted people that can basically turn off emotions when I reach my breaking point. For example, before I got married, I never really had break ups that destroyed me because my usual pattern would go something like this: initial break up, dramatic crying/my life is over, I start to get annoyed with myself and all the emotions, decide I'm over it, cut said person out of my life, and move on.  It's not a very admirable quality, and I always thought it would come and bite me in the butt at some point--but I've been going a good 26+ years in this way and so far so good. (Good meaning I haven't gone crazy in a grocery store when seeing a loaf of bread triggered all past emotions I never dealt with properly.)

Anyways, I sort of reached my peak of emotions in the past couple days and have drifted into the "I'm over it" stage. Which really means I'm starting to accept my situation and give up on all of my previous desires. Unfortunately, this scenario isn't one where I get to just "cut people out" and "move on." I know I'm running the risk of being one of those annoying people that talks about a problem, but doesn't actually tell you what the problem is. All that ambiguity just really gets under my skins sometimes, so I'll move on.

Today I came across these videos and they helped me remember what's important. I had previously reached a point in this trial where I knew I needed to renew my efforts in doing the "little things" like this first video talks about. 

This second video describes what happened to me this morning. I woke up with a renewed hope. I don't know why the timing was the way it was, but I woke up and I suddenly cared again. I know that I carried this burden for as long as I could, and now Christ and the Atonement are making up the difference. I'm moving forward in the way that I know I need to because I know that Christ is carrying me the rest of the way. I'm exhausted emotionally! Let me tell you what! But I have hope again, which hasn't been present for a few weeks. I like how he talks about how it doesn't mean we know when it will work out--there's no time frame given--we just know that day by day it will work out. Eventually we'll see the end. Right now, I can still feel that I'm in the thick of this trial. I haven't had the sense that the burden has been completely lifted, but I do have the sense that at some point it will be over and I'll survive and be better off because of it--just like all of the other trials before this one.

Then here's the last one in the series. Also, very good.

If you're interested in knowing a little bit more about who Elder Christofferson is.

Book Review: Thirteen Reasons Why

By now, you should all know that I love Teen Lit. I'm not ashamed of that at all...okay, maybe slightly embarrassed. But someone who willingly takes pictures like this:

just really should learn to embrace the weirdness...so I'm going to!

Thirteen Reasons Why, by Jay Asher, is about a teenage girl who commits suicide. She leaves behind 13 cassette tapes for a list of people to understand why she committed suicide. As a health teacher who spent several days discussing the warning signs of suicide and how to help potential victims of suicide, I was very wary of this book. I don't like anything that glorifies suicide or makes it look like an satisfactory answer to the difficulties we all face in life (understandable, some more than others). Our major take home message in my class was that, "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

I was so happy (and quite relieved) that this book never glorified suicide. It depicted the very real consequences of teens' actions. Asher showed that it's never too late to fix a reputation, it's never too late to give someone a second chance, it DOES matter how you treat each and every person you come in contact with, and the choices you make do, indeed, have an impact on all those around you. Like I've mentioned before, I HATE when bad things happen to kids--whether it's real life, TV, or books--it's just too hard for me to take! I always personalize everything I read or hear, and I've loved too many young people in my life to just brush those things off. I never want to become desensitized to the horrible realities that are so casually depicted in our everyday media. However, I did appreciate Asher's way of shining light on many teenage cliches that, all too often, live up to their stereotypes. (I.e.: girl gets drunk and can't control, nor remember, what happens to her).

Lastly, I love when books are written in an interesting format. We were able to hear the tapes and then understand the main character, Clay's, reaction to the recordings. I love any kind of spin on a traditional narrative!

Overall, I really liked this book and would recommend it to anyone that is into teeny-bopper lit!

A "Good Mom Day"

I was just trying to play catch-up on our family blog (I try to use it more as a family journal, but I'm failing miserably!). The post was about J turning 2, but the conclusion slowly started turning into my most recent thoughts on motherhood. (Side note: feeling extremely narcissistic about that now that I've actually typed it out and you all have read it.) However, it made me think of a topic that I wanted to talk about with you--here's the concluding paragraph and then I'll get to my topic:

I'm trying my hardest to get out and go do stuff with her--to take advantage of the family-friendly environment of the Midwest; as well as, my wonderful opportunity to stay home with her. We go to the library on a weekly basis (sometimes more) and we start Parent-Tot Swim lessons tomorrow! She is excited beyond belief! I'm hoping to get out and find more activities in the community that are going on this summer. My greatest desire and ambition right now is to be a mom that DOES stuff. This week I'm going to buy Play-doh and water-color paints and anything else I see in that aisle that she could do! I just yearn to be a good mom. Others may see that and think that's so lame, but it truly is the greatest accomplishment in my life. The days when I sit back and know that I did a great job as a mom, those days, are my happiest! When we explored, tried new things, read books, played toys, snuggled, and hugged and kissed and wrestled on the ground--I know I did my job and it makes me so happy! I never thought I'd see the day when I became so elated and overwhelmed with a sense of pride because of those things--but that day is upon me and I make no excuses for it. 


Do you know what I'm talking about? Those days where you just really know that you did your job. That all the career ambitions or personal interests you set aside to be a mom, were all worth it. Will you tell me about one of those days? (Shoot, don't hold back, tell me about every single day you can remember that was like that!) I just love hearing about days when moms were awesome! I love it because, when do you ever get to talk about it in a public setting without having to hold back because of the eye rolls (either because people think being a mom is so 1950's or people hate you because you're making them look bad)?

I liked being a teacher, but I LOVE being a mom. It totally sucks somedays, but a lot of times, those are the days when I wasn't doing it right! I wasn't trying and I wasn't paying attention to J and that's why she was going cray cray by noon. So can we do this for each other? Can you leave a long comment or post about all the ridiculous things you did with your kid(s) and can we all agree to reply to each other's comments with, "You go girl!" "Slide-burns are the worst, but oh so worth it!"and other stuff like that? No one is going to try and one-up each other, it's just a no-holds-bar-euphoric-I'm the bomb dot com-comment-fest! And instead of adding lines to our stories like, "sooo that's life with a toddler!" *nervous laugh* or "the things you do when you don't talk to adults for over 10 hours" *nervous laugh, is it hot in here to anyone else????*, let's just say something hard core like "I make no excuses!" Because being a mom is hard core and I don't care what anyone else says!

I'm so excited about this, I almost forgot I haven't posted in forever so people probably aren't reading anymore, but that's okay! Whenever you see this, or think about it after you've had a "Good Mom Day", just come and comment and I will be happy and excited right along with you!

As a recap:

1. Leave a comment or link to a post where you describe a day where you were a sweet-tastic mom.
2. Be hard core and say, "I make no excuses!" at the end.
3. Reply to other people's comments or link with how hard core and awesome they are.
4. Come back and repeat whenever possible.
5. Boom.

Here are some of my, "Good Mom Day" moments,

She had been SOOOO sick, but she wanted to go outside so badly. We struggled and climbed to the very top of the jungle gym and, after all that, she was too tired to play. So we sat, and watched some squirrels. I taught her squirrels live in trees that day (funny when you realize all that they don't know) and I didn't rush her to go down a slide so we could go home, we just sat, and watched squirrles play and climb. I make no excuses.

As a family we went for a walk and randomly came across a Paddle-Boat little pond area. We went inside and found out it was only $8 total, for everyone, for 20 minutes. So we just did it, like that! No plans, no questions, we were just spontaneous and fun and J still asks to go "Ride a boat?"

Sometimes your toddler wants to wear a winter hat when it's 80 degrees out, you just roll with it and feel good about them getting to be a kid!

Sometimes your toddler likes stickers, but DOES NOT like stickers on herself. So you take one for the team and wear Anime stickers for an entire day. I make no excuses!

We went for a walk. A really long walk where I just followed everywhere she wanted to go (except for the trash compactor--being hard core does not mean being stupid).

I didn't feel like wearing sunglasses, but she LOVES when we wear them together. So we rocked those sunglasses and Maroon 5's "One More Night" for the one billionth time in a row.

Even Clifford has to hydrate. And the answer is, "No! She hardly ever wears clothes at home! And, yes! It does make her ridiculously happy and say awesome things like 'NAKEY BABY NAKEY BABY!!'" I make no excuses!

Sometimes they aren't sick, they just really want you to hold them while they sleep. And yeah, I had a ton of other stuff to do, and it made us late for a dinner invitation, but now I have this, and I make no excuses.

Survival Mode

I've taken a little blogging hiatus because J and I got to go visit my parents in Alaska last week! It was a much needed break from our new Chicagoland changes. I'll have to do a separate post on Alaska once I've loaded all of my pictures on to the computer.

While I was away, I had a lot of time to think about our new life and the changes we've made. Whenever you make big changes in your life, it feels like you begin the change in "Survival Mode". When I became a teacher, they call the first few years "Survival Mode" because you aren't able to be the absolute perfect teacher that you want to be due to the overwhelming obstacles that face a first time teacher. Brand new lesson plans, new teacher meetings, faculty meetings, a new grading system, plus the actual grading, etc, etc. Since we've moved, even though I've felt fairly settled for some time, I feel like we've still been in Survival Mode. K has been working crazy long hours for the past 3 months and J and I have been trying to get out, meet people/socialize whenever possible, and just establish some sort of a routine. We've all been working hard in our own spheres. When I played soccer, my dad used to always tell me, "Don't just work hard, work smart." We definitely have been working hard, but not necessarily smart. Let me explain:

For me, a part of Survival Mode means I get so focused on being a good parent and making sure J is well adjusted, that I forget that being a good mom means maintaining and flourishing in my role as a wife, too. A few months ago, my absolute favorite Hollywood couple (Giuliana and Bill Rancic) took major heat for making this statement, “We’re husband and wife, but we’re also best friends, and it’s funny because a lot of people, when they have kids, they put the baby first, and the marriage second,’ 'That works for some people. For us, I find, we put our marriage first and our child second, because the best thing we can do for him is have a strong marriage.”

I can understand why people gave her flack, since K can definitely take care of himself and J needs help for her very basic needs. However, on the emotional and relationship side of needs, I am able to be there for J in a much healthier way when my relationship with K is in a better place. The more stress in our marriage, the more stress in my life. K is my best friend, it kills me when we aren't right with each other. That kind of strife and grief is obviously going to carry over into my interactions with J. In that sense, I couldn't agree more with Giuliana's statement. 

K and I have a new resolve to get back to working together as a team. It's not like anythings is wrong, it's just been hard to get in a groove where we both understand our respective responsibilities in this new place with our new roles (him as the sole bread winner and me as a SAHM). It can be so frustrating for everyone involved when there is too much ambiguity in the home. The week away was good for taking a step back and getting a clearer picture on what we needed to do to get back to where we like to be as a married couple and family. I can't even begin to describe the relief that comes when you are able to gain some clarity on how to get out of Survival Mode and into just living!

What do you think, marriage or baby first? Please explain (I find this concept very interesting!)

How do you find balance between your role as a spouse and parent? If you aren't one or either of those, how have you seen it in your parents or those around you?
-Our big "balancer" is to keep the dating relationship alive. When you are dating, you put so much thought and effort into the other persons wellbeing and happiness...sometimes that can be lost when kids and careers come along. Little actions like holding hands, going on dates, talking about subjects other than J and work are big. And sex (HI-Ohhh)! But honestly, if we had just gone over to each others houses and watched TV for our entire courtship, there's no way we would have stayed together--let alone married each other. There's no reason we should expect a different result once we are married. I think a lot of people don't realize how much work a good marriage takes. I know I didn't get it. It takes both people constantly making a concentrated effort to stay happy in a marriage!

Book Review: The Glass Castle

This book was recommended to me by my friend, Megan, after I had mentioned in my last book review how I'm so interested in family dynamics.

The Glass Castle is a book of memoirs written by Jeannette Walls. Her family is essentially a bunch of nomads, traveling around the U.S. dodging bill collectors. Any time a situation got a little harry or her dad got sick of working, the family would up and move. I'll be honest, this book was a lot to handle at moments. I had to keep reminding myself that this was actually a set of memoirs and that I had found it in the "Non-fiction" section of my library. "No way this could happen in real life!" or "No way people like this actually exist!" were the thoughts that continually kept creeping back into my mind. I had to convince myself to keep reading a few times because it is too hard for me to hear about awful things happening to children. I've mentioned before, becoming a mother made a new kind of heartache arise in me every time something bad happens to a child. I can't watch Law and Order: SVU anymore because it's just too much! 

I felt myself getting physically mad--no, not mad--livid/furious/irate over many of the responses the parents had to Jeannette and her siblings. The situations the parents put them in, the way the children were treated,  the fact that more often than not, the kids were more responsible than the parents, drove me up the wall! 

It brought me right back to when I was a teacher. I remember one student that came to me with a drop-out form. "What's this?" I asked him. "It's a form you have to sign so I can drop out." "But you're a senior, you literally have 6 months until you can graduate. Why don't you just stick it out until graduation?" "Because my parents disowned me and I have to work so I can eat and pay bills." AHHHHHH! If I could have told him everything I was thinking I would have told him, "You'll never go back for your GED like you think you will. It's not that you can't or don't have the intellect or intelligence to do so, it's because GEDs are expensive and quite frankly, not even close to the same as a high school diploma. Also, you're parents suck! That's right, I said suck! You only get to be a kid once and they stole that from you. They literally stole some of the most precious memories you will ever have right out from under you. The saddest part is that you will probably never fully understand what you missed out on! The amount of wasted potential that is balled up inside of you makes me want to cry, real tears of sorrow because you and I have come so far since you called me a 'bitch' the first month of school. I had big hopes and dreams of showing you just how awesome you could be! But instead, you're going to quit. Again and again and again, you're going to quit. Because your parents suck!"

But teachers don't get to say things like that. Especially not new teachers that haven't reached tenure yet. So instead I told him I wouldn't sign it. If he was going to drop-out, I didn't want any part of that. Then I learned I had to sign it. So I did. It makes me sick just thinking about it.

So yeah, it hurts me when bad things happen to children. The one thing that kept me going was that I knew the ending. I didn't actually know the ending, but being around kids enough, you start to get the sense about the ones that rise above. The ones that say, "screw you" to all the garbage their parents had filled them with and decide to find out what the world is really like for themselves. The book was written so well that I knew Jeannette had been one of those kids that rose above her parents and her upbringing. 

Just thinking about this has got me all fired up again! It was a book filled with raw emotion. If you want a book that will make you feel, this book delivers.

Since yesterday, simple changes

My friend, Megan, told me about this awesome website called 100 Days of Real Food. It goes right along with what I'm trying to do, so I thought I'd share for anyone else that might be interested. What I particularly loved were her rules. Like I said yesterday, this can be so overwhelming! But her rules really help break down the process and make it seem less scary. I wish we lived in a warmer place where we had Farmer's Markets year round. I did have a friend tell me that between our town and the surrounding towns, there is a different Farmer's Market just about everyday in the summer! Just one more reason for me to look forward to the summer time!!

This is all a process for me, trying to decide what changes will work for our family and what changes won't. I liked the way 100 Days talks about eating locally. As I've been researching more and more about what exactly are 'organic' foods, I've found some interesting information. This first one is from the FDA's website.

Confusing Claims

The terms "natural," "healthy," and "organic" often cause confusion. "Consumers seem to think that 'natural' and 'organic' imply 'healthy,'" says Schneeman. "But these terms have different meanings from a regulatory point of view."

According to FDA policy, "natural" means the product does not contain synthetic or artificial ingredients. "Healthy," which is defined by regulation, means the product must meet certain criteria that limit the amounts of fat, saturated fat, cholesterol, and sodium, and require specific minimum amounts of vitamins, minerals, or other beneficial nutrients.

Food labeled "organic" must meet the standards set by the Department of Agriculture (USDA). Organic food differs from conventionally produced food in the way it is grown or produced. But USDA makes no claims that organically produced food is safer or more nutritious than conventionally produced food.

For example, says Schneeman, "A premium ice cream could be 'natural' or 'organic' and still be high in fat or saturated fat, so would not meet the criteria for 'healthy.'"

I followed up to find this from the USDA's website because a friend had told me that not all foods that are labeled 'organic' are actually organic. To me it seems like they need to be unless the farmer sells less than $5,000 worth of product. Anyone else ever heard of this claim?

Anyways, once the Farmer's Markets start, I'm hoping to buy my produce there because the fresher the food the more nutrient dense the product is. Until then, I'll have to just trust the labels at the store!

Fun fact: a fact that always stuck with me from my Nutrition 100 class in college was how frozen fruit and vegetables are often more nutrient dense than fresh fruits and vegetables. This is because a lot of fresh produce must be picked before it is completely ripe in order to avoid spoiling before it gets to the store. Frozen produce has the opportunity to develop all the way without having to worry about spoiling since it will be frozen. So don't forget about your friends in the frozen section!

Another interesting tid bit from the 100 Days website. She talks about looking at the food ingredients a lot, not to be confused with the food's nutrition label. One thing that really stood out to me was when she talked about bread.

"...what I bought for my husband from the grocery store was what I thought was whole-wheat bread. When we finally checked the ingredients and found 40 different items on the list, including white flour and sugar, we decided it was time for a change. Why would there be so many on the list if it only takes a handful of ingredients to make bread? ... honey whole-wheat loaf only has five ingredients – whole-wheat flour, water, yeast, salt and honey."

Now I've never been a real "ace" in the kitchen (just ask my mom) so I've truthfully never made real bread before. For some reason, anything involving 'yeast' is just scary to me. But when she states the small amount of ingredients that you need to make bread, and what all actually comes in bread, I was floored! I had never even thought about it. So of course I went straight to our pantry to look at our bread.

I just so happened to have bought Costco's Organic bread this week! I had never even noticed the Organic Symbol until I read about it on the USDA's website, but there she blows in all her green and white organic glory. While everything seems pretty normal in the ingredients, I think I might try to make our own bread. K just about died when I told him that :). Anybody have any good tips for a first time bread maker?

So that's where we are today. I'm going to shoot for organic/natural/locally grown produce in the coming weeks and attempt to make bread at some point. It's hard because our pantry is stocked FULL of all the foods I'm trying to get away from. Being the cheap frugal people that we are, I'm going to have to just transition as I go.

I do want to throw this out there: if I was working, there is no way in heck I'd consider doing a lot of this. It's so important to remember to just do the best you can. When I worked, I never would have had enough time to read ingredients, let alone, to try and make bread. (Note: I will probably fail big time at this...the key word is TRY and make bread!) This blog is all about the process of having a more balanced and healthy life.

A lifestyle change

If you are friends with me on Facebook, than you might have seen that K and I are trying to make some pretty significant lifestyle changes. I want to start altering the types of foods we buy. I'm still trying to sift through how far I want to take this and my own personal feelings on the matter. Lucky for you, you get to read my thought process!

I've always thought eating organically was for the hippies (haha). I know, I'm an anomaly in the blogging world. (Don't even get me started on all the oils and stuff that people are putting on their new born babies.) My SIL asked the other day what got me started thinking about making the change and I couldn't put my finger on one specific incident. As I was reflecting on it more today I started to realize that this had been a long time coming, little tid bits I'd hear from different places all began to build up in my psyche. Then, a few days ago, I was watching one of my guilty pleasure reality TV shows. This girl was talking about infertility and how it seems like so many more women are dealing with infertility now days than ever before. She mentioned how she wondered if it had something to do with the food we eat and all of the chemicals and hormones that are injected into them. That really stuck with me. I've never had to deal with infertility, but from what I know about it...it just sucks! There's no other way to put it.  Who knows, maybe we hear more about infertility issues now because most people are starting to have children later on in life or because we are just a lot more open in our society to talk about feelings and deeper subjects now. Either way, you can't help but wonder if it does play some minor role in these types of cases.

As a Health teacher, I know what I should be eating. I would say, compared to the average American, we do a fine job. We eat red meat sparingly, we have a vegetable or fruit with every meal, we don't drink a ton of soda, when we have beef or bacon it is always turkey alternatives, we try to drink a lot of water each day, we eat low fat dairy products (except J who still drinks whole milk) and I don't buy a ton of candy or anything like that (sometimes your health benefits from being cheap). I even stopped buying chicken breasts awhile ago when I took a look at the chicken breasts we bought and realized I'd never seen a chicken that big in my life! We still eat a lot of chicken, but I like to stick to the tenderloins because it just seems more natural? That isn't scientific based in any way, but I felt better about it. It's certainly a lot less fatty than the breast we had been buying before.

As a Health teacher, I know the importance of quality selections from each food group. I'm not interested in any fad diets or trends. We aren't trying to lose weight, we are trying to make healthy, long-lasting, lifestyle changes. Several of my friends recommended the Paleo diet. I've only researched it a little bit because, from what I've seen, it just isn't practical for our family. There's no way I could cut out all dairy or wheat or beans. I could if we needed to, but I don't want to. There are many health benefits from dairy, wheat, and beans--as long as you're eating the right kinds. It's a great option for many people, but just doesn't meet all of our needs.

My SIL gave me some great advice about not trying to change everything right at once. It really is just so overwhelming! So we are going to start this week by buying organic fruits and vegetables. We've talked about getting a juicer, but I read they can be a pain to clean. Also, we still live in an apartment, I'm not sure we could fit another appliance in this joint! Right now we've just been buying the Naked smoothies and I really like them so far! I think our next step will be to find farm fed meat. I have no idea how expensive that is (Does anyone know?) or if you can even buy that in a local grocery store (Anyone? Anyone?), but I'll find out next week! I also want to start collecting healthier recipeces. I was noticing at the store this week that many of our recipes call for cheese---like, we eat a ton of cheese! I think there is a place for cheese, but not in almost every dinner--that seems a bit much!

Does anyone have any great sites, blogs, books, thoughts, or opinions on any of this? I really would like to stick to research based information because there is just too much propaganda and hoopla mixed in with this subject. Bahaha, hoopla, never thought I'd type that word out.

The Corners of My Heart

I promise, someday I'll get back to some of the other reasons I started this blog, but the Spiritual Health side of my life has just been in the forefront of my mind. It seems that's the way it is when we are going through big changes.

During the 7 Days of Easter, I went looking for this talk, but came across this one along the way. If you don't want to read or listen to it, he talks about how there is a lot of bad in the world, but we have the power to leave that bad behind (for the most part). The talk is entitled, "Place No More for the Enemy of My Soul." The title alone fills me with such power and strength.

One of the reasons I chose to teach in the Health Science field was because I wanted teenagers to understand that their quality of life came down to their choices. A lot of times in high school, I felt like some of my friends got drunk and performed other harmful behaviors was because they felt like that was what they were supposed to do--we were teenagers, that's what the world expected of us. Because I had been raised to not drink or sleep around, I realized I had a choice in the matter. I chose not to do those things.

The other day at church, this lady was teaching the Sunday School lesson and she talked about how she (and all of us) hold on to certain rebellions and tuck them away into the deep corners of our hearts. We're unwilling to sacrifice them, even though we know the happiness of righteousness will bring so much greater joy than any rebellious act could. Some people may scoff at the words 'rebellion' or 'sin', thinking that they don't correlate with happiness. However, in my life, I've always seen a direct correlation between the choices I made and my happiness. I've never had to deal with the misery that is associated with addictions or the heartache and stress that comes from deciding to terminate an unwanted pregnancy. I'm not saying anyone is a bad person because of these acts or that I'm a better person because I haven't dealt with them. I'm just saying that sometimes, as adults, we forget that the choices we make do have  an affect on our happiness.

The teacher's comment made me think about what I have tucked away in the corners of my heart. What am I unwilling to give up--despite the happiness that would come by doing so. Sometimes, we preach and preach about certain aspects of life, but we really need to take a deeper look at what's happening in our own. What's stopping us from achieving our maximum level of happiness?

I came across this graphic on Facebook today, and I loved it's simplicity. Happiness and positivity really can be quite simple to achieve, but what choices are we willing to make to achieve them?