Here's looking at you

Yes, it's true: I have a Twitter feed. I'm not proud of this, mind you. Mostly, I use it to pimp posts here, or for the occasional one-liner. (If you don't follow me, I won't be insulted, and you won't be missing much. Or, um, anything.)

Anyway, I point this out only because I've lately been swamped with zombie followers who appear to be using their Twitter accounts to spread spam.

And when I say "zombie followers" ... well, here's one, on the left, and the other isn't following me, but is followed by others who are following me. (Got that? There will be a quiz later.):




Is it really easier to Photoshop in glasses and a new background than just steal another head shot for your fake account? Has technology progressed to that point?

Improving headlines

Sorry, this just won't do:

Surviving Bee Gees say to reunite for live shows

First of all, "Bee Gees say to reunite"? I don't get the verb at all. Second, just the surviving members? Live shows? Yawn. Let's fix this sucker!:

Surviving Bee Gees said to reunite for live shows; those not surviving will reunite for undead shows

There. Much better.

Breaking news

Science ponders 'zombie attack'

If zombies actually existed, an attack by them would lead to the collapse of civilisation unless dealt with quickly and aggressively.

Um ... did we not already learn the many lessons of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies?

That is the conclusion of a mathematical exercise carried out by researchers in Canada.

They say only frequent counter-attacks with increasing force would eradicate the fictional creatures.

One would think it would be easy to eradicate fictional creatures. One would be wrong.

The scientific paper is published in a book - Infectious Diseases Modelling Research Progress. ...

In some respects, a zombie "plague" resembles a lethal, rapidly spreading infection. The researchers say the exercise could help scientists model the spread of unfamiliar diseases through human populations.

In their study, the researchers from the University of Ottawa and Carleton University (also in Ottawa) posed a question: If there was to be a battle between zombies and the living, who would win?

Perhaps the crossover Glenn Beck audience?

Professor Robert Smith? (the question mark is part of his surname and not a typographical mistake) and colleagues wrote: "We model a zombie attack using biological assumptions based on popular zombie movies.

"We introduce a basic model for zombie infection and illustrate the outcome with numerical solutions." ... --BBC

Most annoying name since Jenny 8 del Corte Hirschfeld.

Click on the BBC link and read the rest, and do read the comments on this Freakonomics blog post on the topic.

They start like this:

Sadly the study uses a flawed model. It doesn't distinguish between dead humans and dead zombies, so previously decapitated zombies count as being able to (re-)reanimate.

... and go on from there.

Pride and Prejudice and Woody Harrelson and Zombies

I cannot believe I missed this breaking zombie news:

Woody Harrelson's explanation for an alleged tussle with a TMZ photographer at New York City's La Guardia Airport Wednesday night is Method acting. "I wrapped a movie called Zombieland, in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character," Harrelson said in a statement issued by his publicist and obtained by CNN. "With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie." --Entertainment Weekly

Makes sense to me.

I, for one, welcome our new zombie overlords

America votes with its wallet--

#343 on Amazon: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (pre-orders; doesn't publish until May)

#68,786 on Amazon: Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream (in print now; he recently sold five copies at a book signing)

Advice to Sarah Palin: In your 2012 run, pick a zombie as your VP. They're much more popular.

(In all fairness, the out-of-print book I ghostwrote for a small publisher in 1995 is currently #6,044,429. But I bet if just one of you bought a used copy, we could get that up to #6,035,283.)

More braaaaaiiiiiins, Mr. Darcy?

If you're like me, you often finish a novel and think to yourself, "Well, that was good. But it would have been so much better with zombies."

Fortunately, Seth Grahame-Smith has teamed up with Jane Austen on a rewrite of her disappointingly zombie-free novel Pride and Prejudice, now retitled Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

The book description, per Amazon: ""Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" features the original text of Jane Austen's beloved novel with all-new scenes of bone crunching zombie action."

Words cannot express how much I am looking forward to this.

This whole concept opens whole new vistas. I eagerly await a zombified version of Gone With the Wind in which Scarlett O'Hara eats Rhett Butler's brain. Or a version of Great Expectations in which Miss Havisham gets her revenge in ways more physical than in Dickens' overly genteel version.

In comments, please let me know what novel you'd improve with zombies, and, if you'd like to, why.

(Hat tip: P&P&Z was mentioned in last weekend's episode of NPR's Wait, Wait ... Don't Tell Me.)

UPDATE: A word from the publisher:



Video via Areas of My Expertise.

And a programming note: Posting will be light for the foreseeable future.