Sibu Trip

The Sibu trip was awesome!!!

Basically, my home church was invited by the SIB churches in Sibu to facilitate a children and youth camp. Therefore, my church has assembled a team of 5: My pastor, my two friends (a psycology student and a future pastor), a brother from Hong Kong, who happends to be a policeman!!! n of cuz myself. The camp was held in SIB Hosanna. About 90 children and youths aged 8-18 years old were there, waiting to be touched n transformed, n indeed they were!!

Its a very refreshing experience for me. First, having the opportunity to teamed up again wif my pastor and friends, n not to mention ministering and praying in Mandarin again, reminds me of the good old days.

Secondly, i was blessed and encourage to c the young people been touched by the holy spirit n crying out to God. I witness children speaking in tongues, a kid had a vision during the camp abt his calling to become a pastor, some stubborn young men who eventually being brought to their knees and cry out to the Lord during worship, some broken hearts underwent healings....etc. I remember the last day of the evening service when practically all the participants responded and moved forward during the alter call. We had quite a challenging time ministering to each one of them. But then again, its the work of the holy spirit, we r merely the vessels.

Thirdly, i had experienced the unity of the body of christ. The camp was basically run by people from different churches, yet wif a common purpose and passion!! I think there r more than 4-5 churches, including us involving in the planning and the running of the camp. Its a wonderful experience to interact n learning from each other.

Last but not least, i have gained some knowledge and hands on experience in prophetic ministry. Eventhough i may have fear n doubts sometimes, my faith have grown stronger in knowing that God is real n the Holy Spirit is working in a powerful ways among His people, especially in the young people. I can't ceased to remind myself to recheck my own life and be sensitive to the voice of the spirit.

Of cuz, other than ministring, God has been faithful in providing us good health and not to mention good food!!! I tell u Sibu people will redefine the word 'hospitality'!!! N by the way, they celebrated my birthday there.

Childlike faith

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." -Matthew 19:14-

Double Lives, Double Standards

Mahatma Gandhi is one of the most respected leaders of modern history. A Hindu, Ghandi nevertheless admired Jesus and often quoted from the Sermon on the Mount. Once when the missionary E. Stanley Jones met with Ghandi he asked him, "Mr. Ghandi, though you quote the words of Christ often, why is that you appear to so adamantly reject becoming his follower?"

Ghandi replied, "Oh, I don't reject your Christ. I love your Christ. It's just that so many of you Christians are so unlike your Christ."

Although this conversation occured more than 70 years ago, I can't cease to wonder if my family, friends or anyone who knows me had the same perception as Gandhi had on Christians. Honestly, the more I grow up the more I find myself to be unlike Christ, the Christ whom I've claimed to believe, follow, worship, pray to, preach about etc etc. Someone told me that the term 'Christian' in Hebrew actually means 'Little Christ'. Hence, I have definitely taken this identity for granted, not once but many times.

I find myself living in two different lives, sounds quite like a 'split personality' in psychiatry or Jim Carey's 'Me, Myself and Irene'...but no, allow me to explain. Let's start with my life no.1, which revolves around the general expectations for being a follower of Jesus Christ. I attend church service, prayer meeting, cell group, sing worship songs, serving in ministry, carrying a big bible with a cool black cover, speaking in 'church language' that appears to serve my Christian identity rather than as true expression from my heart, and clothing myself with 'good and pleasing behaviors' instead of cultivating a real Christ-like character. Well, this life does offer me comfort, security, acknowledgement and acceptance. But when I was put into situations with no such or lesser expectations, like outside the church context, at home, with friends, especially in the absence of other Christians, alone etc etc......there comes life no. 2. In this life I would rely more on my instincts and feelings. My self-centeredness becomes more apparent. I would indulge myself in things which gives temporary self-satisfaction but subsequent emptiness and self-pity. No wonder the word 'hypocrite' has never been left out from describing us Christians.

The constant transition between these two lives often leads me to frustration and fatigue, which we are more likely to call it 'burning out' or 'spiritual attack...because it sounds more...well...'spiritual' I guess. But Jesus never meant to lead me into this situation. He Himself has lived up to His identity THROUGHOUT his life on earth. And the fact that he did that as a Man like us, shows me that I can and should lived up to my identity...as a child of God and a follower of Jesus Christ in an AUTHENTIC and CONSISTENT manner. No matter how diverse our personalities may be, there is only ONE life that we should be living in, a life where we can find peace, hope and love, a life of Jesus Christ. Here, an intimate, honest and transparent RELATIONSHIP with Christ is the only key.

Gandhi also quoted, 'if only Christians would live like how their Christ had lived, today the whole India would become Christians.' Maybe there's truth in it. Perhaps India, with the second largest population in world , is a bit beyond our imagination, nevertheless we certainly could grasp the possible impact on our family, friends, schools, campus, workplace, neighbors etc etc. But then again...IF ONLY...:)

Beloved

"The truth, even though I cannot feel it right now, is that I am the chosen child of God, precious in God's eyes, called the Beloved from all eternity and held safe in an everlasting embrace . . . We must dare to opt consciously for our chosenness and not allow our emotions, feelings, or passions to seduce us into self-rejection."

-Henri J. M. Nouwen-

Am I ready?

This morning I received my renewed passport from the Imigration Department. I thank God for their efficiency as they took only one day to make it. Even with the passport at hand, I still feel very unprepared for my trip to Banda Acheh. I must confess that I haven't been utilizing my free time wisely for the past 1 week or so. I find myself watching too much TV and computer monitor. Most of the days I slept late and woke up late. My biological clock is in chaos. Somehow everytime I come back to penang, my sense of direction would be lost. I don't have to worry about going to hospital wads, preparing seminars, planning what to studying, CF etc etc. It's like I've loosen myself (too loose i think). It's like I'm on the other side of the world now.

Now as I look upon my coming trips, first my mission trip to Sibu, Sarawak from 7-14 June 2005, and then my elective trip to Banda Acheh, Indonesia from 21-26 June 2005, I can't help but to question myself 'Am I ready for all these?' Physically I'm not at my best cuz haven't been really exercising plus my irregular sleeping pattern. Spiritually, I didn't really spend quality time in praying and studying the word, apart from the time when I was preparing my teaching sessions for my Sibu trip. Socially, I haven't been going out lately and didn't really catch up with my friends in Penang.

Am I really passionate for the coming challenges? What is my motive? For God or just another self-serving act? Well I believe i need to get my 'bearings' right before I go. Cuz one of the greatest temptation in ministry is serving the expectation of self and others, rather than God Himself.

Moreover, as I will be doing some teaching and sharing in Sibu, I can't help but to remind myself to 'practice what I preach!' For example, I'm going to teach a bunch of kids and youth aged 8-16 on how to study as a christian student. There I will be talking about having a daily quality quiet time with God, good time management and health management...all of which I'm not doing at the moment. I'm supposed to share during one of their youth meeting as well. I have a strong desire to share on 'Imitating Christ' and we Christians tend to live a double lives with double standards. Again for the same reason I find myself struggling as I prepare the sharing.

What about Acheh? I seriously dunno what to expect. Am I prepare to LOVE the Acheh people? Cuz I dun want to go just for the sake of going or gain publicity like many people did. As I think about Jesus, never once did He ask us to love our ministry, yet again and again he command us to love the people...as simple as that.

Well, I guess I have to humble myself before Him. Yet whatever the outcome is, i believe some part of my life will be changed. In fact, I think the process has already begun...