unknown.

wait. and. see.

the first quarter of the year.

it's been tough. school is tough. there are many things to do. and things happened in crazy ways that forced me to retreat to my hiding place and put on masks. everyday.

i will never win this game.

we are fighting a losing battle. against every wrong thing in this system.

i am angry. i am frustrated. but i don't know how to show it to the people who created those unnecessary tensions, partly because i am the kind of person who avoids conflicts.

this is no good.

****

maybe we need a change of environment.

but i sensed reluctance in me. and fear.

fear

On the way up to Laban Rata.

of the

unknown.

one step at a time.

You kept me going.

*

Even through the darkest phase

Be it thick or thin

Always someone marches brave

Here beneath my skin

And constant craving

Has always been

**

please don't lie to me.

i'm too tired to continue with this kind of lies.

the day has come

The long awaited event has finally come.

It was worth the pain and struggle to go all the way up to Mt. Kinabalu.
I walked on my own most of the time. And after talking with a few friends, then only i realised that actually it can be pretty dangerous to hike alone. ermm..


The whole trip is like my own 'song of ascent'. and indeed, psalm 121 turned out to be very real.

we took the Mesilau - Mt K - Timpohon.
For more pictures, you can go here.

this was taken during the first stop upon reaching KM 1.

South Peak.
We didn't get to see the canggih-manggih sunrise scenery.
It was very cloudy and the wind was blowing very strongly.

as a conclusion, it was a really good trip. i didn't expect myself to reach the summit and get the colourful cert. :p
I am truly thankful that God has sustained me throughout the journey. He has been my help thus far.

the risk.

this is one of my favourite picture. there's a plane at the upper right corner.

sunsets and seaside always have such healing effect on me.

it has been a struggle to carry on.

the risk is not worth taking.

i may end up losing everything.

clouds

Lihat ke arah sana

Serakan warna dan berarakan

Awan

Pabila terik panas

Segera hadirnya memayungi diri

Pabila kau dahaga

Sesegera turun hujan melimpahkan kasihnya

Pabila kau katakan

Akulah awan itu yang kau mahu

Begitulah awan nano

Setia melindungi diri

Tika panas mencuba menggores pipi

Dan bibirmu

Begitulah awan nano

Sering saja tak terduga hadir

Dan tak akan tercapai jejarimu

Kasihnya

Kasih tiada banding

Setia tiada tara

Bagaimanapun jua

Awan kekasih sebenarmu sayang

Walaupun tak akan tercapai jejarimu

Lihat diriku ini

Yang sesekali pernah kau bagaikan awan

Sehingga tak mungkin terlupa

Berikan belas sedari dulu

Sehingga tak mungkin termampu saksi

Setitis pun air matamu kasihku

Sehingga kau katakan

Akulah awan itu yang kau rindu

Akulah awanmu yang sedia

Melindungi dirimu tika panas mencuba

Menggores pipi

Dan bibirmu

Akulah awanmu yang sering kau rindu

Dan tak terduga hadirmu walau tak tercapai

Jejarimu

Kasihku

Kasih tiada banding setia tiada tara

Bagaimanapun jua

Aku pelindung dirimu sayang

Walaupun tak akan tercapai jejarimu

Begitulah awan nano

Setia melindungi diri tika panas mencuba

Menggores pipi

Dan bibirmu

Begitulah awan nano

Sering saja tak terduga hadir

Dan tak akan tercapai jejarimu

Kasihku

Kasih tiada banding setia tiada tara

Bagaimanapun jua

Aku pelindung dirimu sayang

Walaupun tak akan tercapai jejarimu

**

27.

Life has been super busy ever since the year started.

School events one after another. I have stopped my extra classes for a few weeks due to tests and other stuff. The recent week was the toughest. School replacement on Saturday. And almost everyday i worked from 6 to 6. what a record!

Next week is going to be the zone basketball competition in Miri. Yet, i won't be going with the players. I am hoping for the best and may all the time spent practising doesn't go wasted. And i will be heading for The Climb.

The stress at work can be pretty overwhelming at times.

I have got an unending to-do-list. and that includes covering other people's asses.

it's only march and 3 more quarters to go!

I will fight til the end! ROAR!!

If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out,

how can you compete with horses?

If you stumble in safe country,

how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?

Jer 12:5

**

There were times i gave serious thoughts about that.

I wonder if that risk is worth taking.

Moments like this is probably one of the weakest times a person can get.

Kasihku

Kasih tiada banding

Setia tiada tara