holiday

cheers!!
it's Chinese New Year again! :)

i have about 10 days break, minus off the time set aside for traveling to and fro.

cousin's little boy.

about 2 weeks ago. taken using iphone by my cousin, and after being re-sized by facebook. Tried to salvage it a bit by changing it into black and white. healthy little Regan Khaw with daddy's hand.

I shall start planning some photography therapies.

this January

practice makes perfect. 195 is an awesome number.





:)
test me test me.

and i am truly glad that holiday is coming SOON and i can get out from this THM place, although it's just for a week plus!
school -- i am so lazy to talk about school. i realized i have not been blogging about school since it started. OK, maybe i should give a brief update. i am teaching form 2 Maths (AGAIN!) - a boys-only, and a girls-only class; form 4 Bio; form 5 Bio. A total of 18 periods a week. Itu saje. I should be somewhat free but in fact, i feel that i'm busier than before. i guess that's life under the new regime.

whateverlar.

holiday is coming soon. and february will fly pass. and it will be march!
then it's going to be april and soon, may!
and then that's it!
*i hoped, no, i will ensure that!*

i am a rock star, baybeh!

i attended meetings

this is the book i bring along whenever i go for staff meetings. *since last year*


and this is what i do during staff meetings. yes. paying attention. to my world map.

:)

this makes meetings superbly bearable

let there be light

photo by Karl Randay

i want to take something like this.

Hmmmm..

quite cool, right? :)

from postsecret

i know how you must have felt.

i drive a manual car

taken from postsecret.

and i feel so awesome about it.
:P

when you're confused,

the only certainty is uncertainty.

and the only thing predictable is unpredictability.


:)

it is achievable

"My story is not about me,
but it's about what can come out of my story."

Dr. Tererai Trent

you left. i didn't come back.

imagine this

I am so deeply, deeply, deeply sorry for hurting you so much. I am so sorry because I'm so in love with you, and I will spend the rest of my life telling you that. I'll apologize to you every day if that's what you need, but, ... please, please don't walk away again. I came across the world to be with you....

You had to fly across the world to get to me, Arizona, because you flew a whole world away without ever looking back.
You just left.

And this might be news to you — no, I think it kinda is — but you're not the only one in this relationship.

There are two of us, and you came back today
but I didn't.

look at the things we did in the name of love.

we are all selfish beings.

***

i was thinking to give my best shot this year.. for whatever remaining months left in this place. believe me, i really wanted to. but the look on some of their faces really repulsed me. they will come picking up crumbs from your table when the exams is near - asking for forgiveness, asking you to bless them and the whatever knowledge they gained from/through you. vanity. to me, it's just a show.

like an endless search.

.... Was this even possible - even hypothetically - that his life, his choices, had always been moulded by fears of which he himself was unaware? He thought back to the past: Lankasuka, Manju, Bela, the hours he had spent sitting on the windowsill, the ecstatic sense of liberation that had come over him on learning that he had been accepted into the Military Academy. Fear had played no part in any of this. He had never thought of his life as different from any other; he had never experience a slightest doubt about his personal sovereignty; never imagined himself to be dealing with anything other than the full range of human choice. But if it were true that his life had somehow been moulded by acts of power of which he was unaware - then it would follow that he had never acted of his own volition; never had a moment of true self-consciousness. Everything he had ever assumed about himself was a lie, an illusion. And if this were so, how was he to find himself now?

The Glass Palace.

picture taken from here.

how are you to find yourself when most of the time you found yourself being surrounded by a bokeh effect of everything?

the blue hours of 7th Jan

sunrise in a foggy morning. that's one of my few favourite things in this place, which tells my heart that i should work on a project to capture the beauty (or the ugly) of this place before there's no more opportunity to do so.

"There are people who have the luck to end their lives where they began them.
But this is not something that is owed to us.
On the contrary, we have to expect that a time will come when we'll have to move on again.
Rather than being swept along by events,
we should make plans and take control of our own fate."
~The Glass Palace~

that place

where you can't remember and you can't forget.

that place where our eyes met for a moment.

#7

"we push ourselves because we have to,
not because we like it."