one thing

guard your heart and mind.

i have friends called 'it'

i can't tahan and i felt that i have to blog about it so that i can go to bed and have a good rest.

it happened a few days ago. it was in one of the toilets which i almost entered. i saw it. and sensed its wonderful smell. like some reflex action, i terus 'sprang' out from the toilet and went in to the other one. *darn thing*

well, i thought staying in the first floor and far away from kitchen area and rubbish bins would at least save me from them, and lessen the chances of bumming into them.

anyway, back to the it.

this evening while i was about to shower, i saw it again! *i think it's the same it*
it almost came into my cubical and i managed to shoe it away with pipe water..
wahliao, can you imagine showering and having extra high alert just in case it comes back and attacks you again?? ok, i showered with the speed of thunder and cepat-cepat went back to my room.

coming to the 3rd encounter... *i still think it was the same it coz' they looked the same.*
sitting at my table, suddenly something fell on my right foot. eeew, i thought it was moth or something like that and so i just forgot about it. until...

about 20-30 minutes ago...
wahliao, suddenly a black thing just dashed across underneath my roommate's chair. RED ALERT. RED ALERT. damn it, it's a cockroach!!!!! my first response is always to give them a hot shower of blessings. too bad, the water was not hot enough. and it ran up and down. thank God it stopped for a while, giving me enough time to figure out what to do next.

Jiaaaa: oh my god, oh my god, water is not hot enough. how how how how?????

then i thought of my almost-finishing-body-shampoo. so, i poured the body shampoo on it. too bad, bad aiming. *_* but that kinda worked coz its motion became slower...

Gahhh.. and then i did the most gross/grossest thing... since i don't think i am quick enough to fetch some hot water, i was thinking to hit it with something hard ... and i have nothing except the chairs... and so.. i stabbed it with the leg of the chair...

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG...!!!!!!!!

each bang with increasing strength.. blow after blow... blow after blow...

Grossssssssssss..................

the intestines came out.. the appendages came out... the liquid *blood* came out.. it's like the scene someone just got murdered.

and i just finished clearing and cleaning and dettol-ing the crime scene. *_* and felt like disinfecting myself, if can.

oh gosh.. i can't believe that almost every semester i can feed you people with stories about my encounter with cockroaches.

sigh.

ok. it's an hour past my bedtime. good night.

once again,
mission accomplished!

speaking about sheep...

"do you realize that you are a sheep?"

****

".. we are silly sheep who have dared to stand before You
and try to bribe You with our preposterous portfolios..."

****

garh.. sometimes we thought/felt that we are self-sufficient.
that we have it all together.

too bad. we don't

*finding time to read*

"When we wallow in guilt, remorse, and shame over real or imagined sins of the past we are disdaining God's gift of grace. Preoccupation with self is always a major component of unhealthy guilt and recrimination. It stirs our emotions, churning in self-destructive ways, closes us in upon the might citadel of self, leads to depression and despair and preempts the presence of a compassionate God...."

"For those who feel their lives are a grave disappointment to God, it requires enormous trust and reckless, raging confidence to accept that the
love of Christ knows no shadow of alteration or change...."

Grazie, Signore
Chapter 6 of The Ragamuffin Gospel
**

many a times..
it's a conscious decision to do or not to do certain things.

before and after.

one day before the day
Benjamin Button. pretty dress. yellow hairband. dinner at Rumahku and beautiful Absolut.
buckets of sweat. =p
'compact' chocolate cake.
and tonnes of loves and blessings from great friends!

the day
dinner at Kissaten. *i like to call it as kiss-a-ten. ok wert....*
Paulaner was the highlight and it's super awesome, i tell you! =)

one day after the day.
garh, can't wake up on time to go for the cell leaders training. =p
*neh, i woke up early actually ~~ to text my friends that i will be late and then i went back to sleep*
hehe..
The day one of training was good. good exposure to how church cells work and the whole thing about cell-based church. Day two of training -- tomorrow afternoon.

***

i was reminded...

chains be broken
lives be healed
eyes be opened
Christ is revealed
~You'll Come, Hillsong~

one of my bday wishes *apart from those ahem ahem wishes*

is that i will do what i felt i should do,
to follow my heart and to stand firm with that decision which i have made.

and to 'heal' lives in a different way...

*thank you for telling me that.
i will keep that in my heart and mind for the rest of my life*

***

waiting for the day after the day after the day which is tomorrow.
i don't know what my cell friends and penjang are going to do to me. *poor jiaaaaaaaa*

anywayzz.....

i want to thank all of you for throwing me bday bash and all the drinking-eating sessions and all the messages thru sms and FB and MSN. =) thank you for remembering!

jiaaaa loves you people a lotzz!

the day

=)

hehe..
just want to conteng something here on the day

i felt sooo loved... hehe

send your birthday wishes!
garh, so tak tahu malu
=p

2.56pm
jiaaaaa was born!
thank you Mum!

counting down...

i have a test tomorrow. grrrrhh...
selamba je... whatever...

=)

there's something greater than testsss .. haha..

if this hit you hard

"I wonder if it's him that is making me suffer...or if it's me."

taken from postsecretfrance

**

old and new.

watching people practising softball somehow brings me back to the 'old' days.

and there's so much of good and bad that i kept dwelling on at times.

but this verse keeps flooding my mind..

"Forget about what's happened;
don't keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new.
It's bursting out! Don't you see it?"
Isa 43:18-19, The Message

i missed my 'old self' at times. sigh
but i felt soooo stupid for thinking that way once i came to my senses.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation;

the old has gone, the new has come!"
2 cor 5:17, NIV

hmmmm....

some numbers

as for now..

i have played geo challenge for 239 times since it came out on FB last semester.

i have watched p.s. i love you for 12 times within 2 months or so.

i looped Bleeding Love for 1048 times within a year. and that doesn't include the number of times i played the song using mp3.

and i have more than 15 tiny blisters on the back of my left hand. one of them just broke. and they will one day merge into a huge one. *ouchhh*

sigh

talking about this thing called 'second chance'

For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath,
so we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live
I was made to love
I was made to know You
~C.S. Lewis Song, Brooke Fraser~

a second chance to live. *literally*
things could have happened in another way.
thank God it didn't.

i remembered.

He said,

"Come to the water,
stand by my side.
I know you are thirsty,
you won't be denied.
I felt every tear drop
when in darkness you cried.
And I strove to remind you
That for those tears I died."

what you have in life

Another week gone. *and i am having mixed feelings about that*

I heard news which got me thinking about our immortality. Life is unpredictable and full of uncertainties. yet, we can rest assured that our lives is in God's hands.

I am not really counting the days/weeks left but it somehow comes as a gentle reminder by the people around me. Not a bad thing, though. At least I will be more aware of what I am left with and how to make full use of it *if can*.

There were many once-in-a-while experiences since I stepped into my final semester. And I enjoyed them even though there were some not-so-pleasant thingy in it but it's fine, really. =)

***

Watched Bride Wars this morning. I think it's a nice show la. Haha.. quite funny. Well, girls can be very terrible when it comes to fighting.. =p

***
there are still some things which i haven't settled.
i guess i should really start praying more seriously about it.

it's about this and that

"For I know the plans I have for you,"
declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.
Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me,
and I will listen to you.
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
I will be found by you," declares the LORD
Jer 29:11-14
**

It has been a struggle for me. Not just over the past few weeks but over the past four years.
all this is because of pride and arrogance. and disobedience. and blah blah blah.
last night Ps. Julie shared a bit on the permissive will of God vs the perfect will of God. which one do you seek after? do you want the permissive will of God and yet miss out on the perfect will of God? well, her question really got me thinking.

i've been living in denial every time it comes to what i want to do in life. there's already an answer in my heart but i am just trying to ignore it and wait till the issue pops up again some other time. Going round and round and round. Sounds fun, huh?

that man said "you are like a flower in the wrong field and therefore it doesn't blossom." That was for RC but am i like that stupid flower, too?? No, i am not and i don't believe in that. God doesn't make mistakes. God didn't put me here for no reason.

Nehemiah prayed and sought after God about the work of rebuilding the wall. He planned ahead and had good strategies. God appointed him whom at that time was staying so darn far away from Jerusalem and not someone near/in Jerusalem to lead the people in to build the wall.

Pray-Plan-Position

i've been pretty jonah-ish all this while. i want a change. at least be more nehemiah-ish, can ar??

i need that ounce of courage and confidence to tell people,

yes, i am submitting the form
and yes, i will go for it if they post me to a school

i need that ounce of courage and confidence to tell people,

yes, i will be a teacher and teach in schools
and make an impact in students' lives
just like how my teachers impacted me.
cool?

i need that ounce of courage and confidence to tell people,

i felt strongly in my heart to do this and not that.
*even if there comes a day where i have to choose again*

i need that ounce of courage and confidence to stop telling people,

neh, wait and see.
i can still change my mind
even when the posting stuff comes.

i need that ounce of courage and confidence to stand firm in what i have decided and not to be a lalang.

well, so, how many ounces of courage and confidence do i need???

but at this moment,
i can't even muster 1/10 of it.

this CNY

back in 3rd college. going online at the dining hall. no key to go in to my room coz' the office is not opened... issshh....

that one week at home was great. i really enjoyed it although i didn't get much rest throughout that whole week.
day two at home -- worked. worked. worked.
then followed by the 5 days of CNY running around.
went visiting here and there.
met up with my f5 n f6 classmates.... ok la... once in a loooooooong while.. haha
well, that's the normal CNY stuff that my family does every year. gah... =p
but it's slightly different this year because i have my relatives from NZ with us. quite cool yeah.. =)

seriously, it's quite awesome to have the first day of CNY as your lunar birth date. haha. *bangga*