drifting away

We must pay more careful attention, therefore,
to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away.
Heb 2:1

We did Hebrews chapter 2 during last night bible study. This verse hit me real hard, especially the 'drift away' thingy.

Am I drifting away?

i don't care

I woke up as early as usual. Barely had 5 hours of sleep. What the heck! I am supposed to get some real nice sleep until I have to start studying again for my last paper. But here I am, typing another post. A heavy head. An empty mug. Emptied nescafe packet. Endless looping of the same few songs. Messy table. Empty bottles of Brands. Going through the same old motion day after day. I don't mind doing that. I don't mind being stuck in my room and doing the same old stuff again and again. Do you call this contentment or complacent or simply being indifferent and chose to stay in my own lala world called J's Little Corner and daydream about this and that, waiting for this and that, get upset or happy over this and that, and then call it a day? The same stack of notes. Reading them again and again. And reproducing them in the answer scripts. Geology paper is the best example. Education papers too. What's wrong with that? You learn something during the process anyway. It has always been like that and I have always been doing that. Complain or not to complain? I have chosen to keep quiet all this while. Just shut up and comply to the system since you have no way of escaping and since what you wanted all this while is good grades and nothing but good grades. Do whatever is required of you as long as it does no harm (at least i'm ok). Get over all this crazy nonsense and be done with it. Come out and teach the kids the same thing. Let the cycle repeat itself. It's not that I have a choice over what I am doing right now. Of course, given a choice or opportunities or whatsoever, who would want to be stuck in such a state where you are neither here nor there? Sometimes I do feel that grass is greener on the other side. I want that stupid patch of greener grass, too! Compare. Then contrast. And then complain. What's the point? Anyway, wasn't I complaining now? What the crap!

Why am I not doing anything about it? Am I taking things for granted? I don't know.

Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country

I find this quote rather amusing. Don't ask me why.

I don't know why this morning I woke up with such, hmm, funny angst in my heart. I want things to stay as how they are but at the same time I do hope that they don't have to be that way. Sigh. Another confused lot in action.

my teehee's of the day =)

hmm. yeah. done. no more calculus 3. no more biochem. no more geology 1201. can't believe i wrote 3 pages on metamorphic rock and another 3 pages on igneous rock. *teehee number 1* =)

met rachel's sister, abigail this morning. they look so alike. haiyo. *teehee number 2* =)

random nonsense jokes and crap with friends before and after geology paper. *teehee number 3* =)

after such a terrible study marathon over 14 days, finally, i got to have a nice sleep in the afternoon. *teehee number 4* =)

roti ayam. McD sundae cone. J loves McD sundae cone. always. *teehee number 5* =)

supper at sahur. lepak-ing around with friends. *teehee number 6* =)

watching and listening to Leona Lewis singing. she's amazing. love her lotz! *teehee number 7* =)

yeah, these are some random stuff happened on 29th April. aww.. it was a good day. no special reasons. think about happy thoughts, thus say Rachael the Wong. *teehee number 8* =)

it's time to hit my bed and not setting the alarm to wake up tmrow. *teehee number 9* =)

thank God for these teehee's! *teehee number 10* =)

some random things on my mind now...

Biochem paper on monday. Geology on tuesday. Then I'm done with exams. Teeheee..

No, no, I tell you.. you still have one more to go!!
KDO on next monday!

Argh!!!

Sigh. I think my brain cannot tahan all the biochem and geology stuff anymore. I am just reading words and seeing images of this structure, that structure. Oh, darn...

I haven't been home for almost 3 months and mum has been telling me stories about the surprises awaiting me.. hehe.. the most exciting thing and the one I am looking forward the most is to meet my little bro who according to my mum has grown .. hehe .. taller .. muahahahaha... and of coz, to meet my dad who got a pair of new specs after N years. I really mean 'N' years; My mum who has been adding new stuff in the house; My sisters -- the not-so-thin, and the gilaboong one. Awww...

There is so much more on my mind but I don't know how to put them in words. The past one or two weeks.. it has really been a challenge for me to set my heart and thoughts on God, not on some hmm.. dee dum.. crap and thoughts. It's been a crazy time of ups and downs, another ride of emotional roller coaster. *stressed giler* From being in cloud 9, and *buuuuump..*, I fell flat on the ground as reality set in. Sand and dirt all around. But I am thankful for wonderful friends who are there to help me up and clear those stuff away. *teehee..*

Lesson of the week ~ Happiness is short lived. True joy lasts forever. What is it that I've allowed to kill my joy? I really do have a choice. But am I willing and prepared to make that choice?

With God, we will gain the victory.
Ps 60:12

...as if i have a choice...

i do have.
but why am i still stuck here?

=)

My study marathon...
ending the 8th day of it...

teehee...
feeling happy...
b'coz of the rain...
b'coz of this... and that...
not because of study, definitely...

david cook to leona lewis to david cook. back to leona lewis. then back to david cook. and now justin timberlake. i can't imagine a study break without music. or rather, a day without music.

Ah, happy happy.. *giggles*
i couldn't remember the last time i ended a day with such.. hmm.. satisfaction and happiness! haha..

teehee.. long hours of studying does me no good.. the 9th day of study marathon, here i come!!

220

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live,
but Christ lives in me.
The life I live in the body,
I live by faith in the Son of God,
who loved me and gave himself for me.
Gal 2:20

another day of this and that..

Do I need to tell you how boring it is to study calculus 3 and geology and biochemistry? sigh. i have lost count of the times i complained about studying for exams, doing assignments and this and that.. argh!!!

Please bear with J. J misses home. J misses her parents. her sisters. her brother. her bed. her car *oops, dad's car*. mum's cooking. the free time bumming around here and there. wasting time thinking about this and that, you and me.

sigh.

still...

We are in that mood.
I am in that mood.
Don't ask me why.

Wake up, J!

My goal is to keep me from falling. I know it will all get better in time. I don't care if I could make you see it. For it doesn't matter anymore.

And I'm gonna smile coz' I deserve to.

=)

You

You walked with me

Footprints in the sand
And helped me understand
Where I'm going

You walked with me
When I was all alone
With so much unknown
Along the way
Then I heard you say

I promise you
I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair
And I'll carry you
When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand


I see my life
Flash across the sky
So many times have I been so afraid
And just when I
I thought I lost my way
You give me strength to carry on
That's when I heard you say

When I'm weary
Well I know you'll be there
Cause I can feel you
When you say

I promise you
I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sadness and despair
Oh, I'll carry you
When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand

-Footprints in the Sand, Leona Lewis-

***

You.

a weekend in the 'woods'

It was a good weekend of learning to be in tune with God and people. It went on well and I really thank God for it. Hmm, I don't know why I am having a kind of mixed feelings. Perhaps it's because this is the last planning retreat of my entire uni life. *feeling old huh..* The things we do in planning retreat are more or less the same, although we may have different approaches in doing them. Then, we have different people in the committee, giving the committee different group dynamics year after year. It's so terrific, happening, and exciting, kan? As I looked back, all the three CPRs gave me different sets of experience and they are like another way of charting my uni life. It is something I would anticipate and yet feeling fearful at the same time... Haih, it's complicated la. It all started with 'scratching-head' during first year; 'learning to see bigger picture' during second year; 'venturing and connecting' during third year! I have a good time in all the evaluating and planning sessions over this weekend. I survived! We survived! Fruitful sessions! Good food! Great fun and fellowship! Indeed, God really surprised us. =) *I miss the puppies, awwww...*

"You reap what you sow.." Haha.. I pray and hope I can say that tomorrow and also the day after tomorrow in a positive way. =) Hmm, it wasn't as easy as I expected when it comes to keeping focused throughout the retreat, knowing that there are exams coming up in the next two days after that. It's God who sustained me through the weekend.

This morning quiet time... I was reminded that...

As the eyes of slaves look to the hand of their master,
as the eyes of a maid look to the hand of her mistress,
so our eyes look to the LORD our God,
till he shows us his mercy.

Yupz, at times the tasks and responsibilities given may seem daunting to me. But I can't miss the fact that I learn to trust God more; and to grow as a person, learning new things and gaining new insights as I go through all these things... Thus far has the LORD helped me!

Light up

I don't know where to look

My words just break and melt
Please just save me from this darkness

Counting down

to doing this, this, this, and this....

1. killing off' the final assignment and presenting it on next wednesday
2. d' retreat =)
3. study break
4. my first paper
5. my second paper
6. my third paper
7. Calculus 3
8. Biochem
9. Geology
10. KDO
11. .... I wanna go home!!!!!!
    

This week was truly crazy. Hehe. The great time spent with friends doing simple stuff. Esp the tiba-tiba decision to join my coursemates for a giler outing. Three years together and this was my first time to go hang out with them. They are a bunch of crazy fellas. And it was fun! =)

I tell you, I am amazed at how I have the strength to carry out things I am supposed to do today. Barely had 3+ hours of sleep the night before. Class at 8, PKV meeting, Makan time, meeting with CGLs, and church cell. My friend, Annie went back last night and terus 'pengsan' until 1pm today. We were on MSN this evening and she wanted to get the video clip of her KO-k dance. We chatted, then I told her that I want go tidur for a while la... And just now she came to my room to get the video clip and told me how she ran to my room straight after I told her that I want to sleep.. By the time she reached my room and knocked on the door, haha.. there's "no one" to open the door dah. And you know what, she is just staying a few doors away. Well, I pengsan on the bed within such a short time.. hebat.. i tell you. =)

Of coz there's always good and not-so-good stuff happening daily. Hmm. Well, pray that God will speak peace into the situations la. hmmm.. not easy eh..

I guess I better go and sleep la. Can't open my eyes dah..

Tarian Kebangsaan

Taa daa.. this is the dance =)
*but they are not that clear la..*

Buddy, you rockz wei~!!

what a day..!

I went for the Pesta ko-k thingy at DTC today to support Ms. Ivy Kwek who is involved in the Tarian Kebangsaan and to be her camera-woman. =)

And we met Titus there!!

After that.. We got bored while waiting for people to come...

What a day of cam-whoring! That's the use of self-timer, okay...! It was sooooo fun!!! teehee.. =)

Colour sama..
haha

p/s: The video clips of Tarian Kebangsaan! Coming soon..

A night in KFC

I was craving for KFC on Sunday night. It's a rare thing. Seriously. Anyway, that's how the 3 of us ended up in KFC, discussing interesting topics.. =)

=)

To cut the long story short...

it's KFC for supper!!!!

whateverlar

Why lar?

**

You and I don't have

the answer to it.

Too bad lar ya.

**

Finding time and space

to recover from a lot of things.

Sigh.

Susahnya... Jiahui