but the truth remains..

it's tough
especially when those memories
doesn't seem to fade
doesn't seem to let go of you

and you found yourself trapped in the past
'addicted' to those cherished moments
it's like a tug-of-war between the two you-s

ya. that's all i want to say.
the truth remains.
You're gone

assurance.

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
Psalm 121

**

It's really comforting to know that the LORD will always be there with me. Never leave me nor forsake me. Oh, what an assurance it is! Today, my mind and heart went one-of-a-kind thinking about the responsibilities entrusted to me and how things are going. The thought of that made my heart sinks and I don't know how I should carry on with the things at hand. But I knew that I have to do it even though I may not know how. Just now while waiting for MeiFong to fetch me for church, I sms-ed a few friends this psalm. At that moment, deep in my heart -- I was like, "oh God, I need to hear those words too.. but who is going to tell me that?"

During worship session,
Ps. Gwen: Church, I want to share with you this psalm. This is a psalm which has really encouraged me a lot.. giving me the assurance I needed....

Jiahui (monologue): ~ oh my, don't tell me you are going to read psalm 121. *coz i had the feeling it's gonna be psalm 121, and not 1 or 23 or 51 or 139...*

Ps Gwen: Psalm 121. I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth...

and she continued reading the whole psalm....

At the moment, I was like "Oh my God... You sent people to tell me that, to read that to me...!"

And I remembered this...
"You saw what is happening and you knew that something has to be done about it. You can't crash at this point of time. You are to be there to encourage people, to get people together.. even though this may take a lot out of you..."

And I can tell you, it really takes a lot to be strong and be there to support people when things are not doing fine, when you yourself are also feeling stressed and low. It's not pretense. It's by His grace that I was able to go through it.

Strengthen those who have tired hands. Encourage those who have weak knees. Isa 35:3

And the LORD says,

I will be there with you.

Indeed, God blesses you back in ways beyond your imaginations and understandings.

dee dumm... this Thursday...

...it's Ms. Panjang's birthday larrrr...

***Earlier in the day, 27th Mac***
Calculus 3... look at her sleepy face wei.. =p

***in the afternoon, tea time with our Grandma..***

Did you see it??!!!!
OMG...
Ginger Soup does exist!!!!

Ginger soup...
Ginger soup...

Wanna try? Go RumahKu! It's not my beautiful rumah in Ipoh or my tiny weeny rumah in MC..
It's the restaurant at Jalan Gasing sana... =)

~~Later in the evening at TGiF~~

And with Jiahui the Driver.. she's a good driver. she's a responsible driver. she's a cool driver. she's a patient driver. she's a safe driver. she's a cekap driver. *i can hear people saying 'Oh, Jiahui, shut up...!'*

Suitlin. Panjang.
teehee.. as expected.. the birthday girl got 'tortured'..
Hmm, I was thinking if I should put up the video
of her singing the Hot Sisters song..
*wawawawa*

Happy 23rd Birthday, AJW!!!!

*ps: thanks, KAun! =)

Maundy Thursday

The rain.
It reminded of these 2 verses...

As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
Isa 55:10-11

**

It is truly encouraging to see people coming together with a heart that is set upon God and His kingdom, giving their very best to honor and glorify Him. Indeed, there are lessons of great value to be learned throughout this period of time. And it's not an easy thing to deal with. After much struggles with God and people, I begin to see what it means to be sensitive to God's work in and through our lives, as well as His work in the lives of the people around us; to be grateful of what He has done...

This Maundy Thursday,

You have taught me by Your example
the GRACE of HUMILITY

here and there lar

How am I going to sit for the test later?
Sigh, I have never felt so unprepared for a test.
So many names of enzymes, substrates, this and that staring at me. Oh crap.

Anywayz.. hmm..
Haih, whatever lar..

It's indeed a super duper great challenge for me to do something which I am not used to do. Something which I will usually choose to avoid and let it be... argh... praying for wisdom and courage and strength and sanity of mind. wawawawawawa...
This is tough, I tell you.

Today is gonna be a long day... and dinner at the same place. *=*
I can't stop yawning in the computer lab, haiyo.
I bought some stuff. Hmm, hope I can get it nicely done within these few days... teehee... can't wait for the final product.. =)

Alright, I better continue with my biochem. Should I just give up and sit there and crap whatever names I can remember?

by His grace

I wonder if you see what I saw in this picture. =)

I didn't do it purposely. Teehee.. i only saw it after my happily-taking-picture session.

**
I have a friend who is now back in PJ for a few weeks break. He is fun guy. Haha.. a nice person to chat with and bum around in cell and etc. I haven't seen him for a very long time; didn't even have the chance to send him off to Germany last year. That Friday night, he shared with me how hard life is in Germany; how he can easily stray away and do whatever he likes; how he struggles with this and that...

Indeed, life is hard especially if you are so far away from your family.

'You gotta depend on yourself, decide for yourself, blah blah blah...'

It's easier said than done. I understand that. The time spent talking with him on these issues about being far away from home, struggles in the walk with God, studies, responsibilities towards own self and people around reminded me of things which I myself went through. I told him that one day he will see and understand the things which he is going through now. One day. And we gotta trust God that He knows what is best for us. I don't know how things are going to work out. It's really a test of faith.

Anyway, I am really glad that he came back for the short break. And he came back a slightly different person. Someone who is more appreciative of what God has given him. Someone who is humble enough to admit that he is facing problems and teachable enough to listen from God and people.

We are all living by the grace of God. You and me.

lost

I was in quite a not-so-good mood this morning. I lost my whole stack of edu notes. Darn it. I couldn't recall where the heck I put it, or when was the last last last time I touched it. Argh! Argh! Argh!

Handwritten notes. Photostated notes. Gone.

Whateverlar.

Lazy to blog. Lazy to feed my mooloo. I think it must be starving like crazy.

I will treat you well once I am OK with all the things I am doing.

Hmm, about 2 months later, perhaps?

Oh, my poor mooloo...

**

Set your focus right

Do not be swayed by the things

and people around you, jiahui!

simply.

Teaching aids. Done. That's it. Yupzie!!

Lab management presentation on glassware and stuff on next Monday. Microteaching on next Tuesday. Biochem test on next Wed *scream!!!!*. Journal review. Lesson plans. Dreaming in class. Sleeping in class. *WTH!* Drinking more and more coffee per day.

I should say this line ..

"Look at the dark circles around your eyes"

to myself instead of Anita.
Darn it!

Instead of drinking ginger soup which is proven to cure all ailments in the body and even in the heart, I am drinking coffee and Brand's Essence of Chicken. And coca-cola. And Yakult. And Vitagen. And of course, water. Darn it. But thank God for mama's love *not mama's secret recipe. but they are still all fresh. nothing about being carefully measured though* all the way from home that I can have Brand's and coffee and chips and mandarin oranges. Teehee.

Some lines here and there from the script.

it's like that lar

Just to kill time. I have another 10 more minutes before going for a discussion on microteaching. *Oh God, help me*

Teaching aids -- sheeesh, I don't care la. Just crap my way through if the lecturer is going to ask any questions. Come on la, I have done whatever I can. Whateverlar...

The time spent alone this morning was good. Read thru a few verses I highlighted some time ago, bringing me back to those days... and again, reminded me that God is faithful. All things happen for a reason, and it doesn't really matter whether I can see it or not. It is about whether I am willing to trust God and let Him take charge or not.

**

Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God,
you who have done great things.
Who, O God, is like you?
Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
you will again bring me up.
Ps 71:19-20

there's none like Him

In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the c.h.a.o.s., in c.o.n.f.u.s.i.o.n.
I know You’re Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me G.R.A.C.E. to do Your will
*

Although situations seem bad, terrible, hopeless.. God is sovereign still. Although I don't see how things will work out in future, but I know He has His plan. Plans waiting to be unfold. That One Day will come. And I shall wait...

...she feels that...

Today is a not-so-good day. It's a bad day for her.

She is upset. She is feeling disappointed. And she is fed up with how things are. She is confused. She is tired. She is feeling one kind. She is feeling sad with how things turned out to be. She is feeling helpless. She hates the feeling of losing control. She hates the fact that she couldn't help them with some simple things simply because she is so busy with her own things. She couldn't even spend time on the phone to have a proper conversation with them. She hates the way she ends the conversation because she has to continue with her work, meetings, practices, studies. They always call at the wrong time. No, the fact is that she has never really made time for them! What is more important? Who is more important? She hates the fact that she is always not around when things happened. *that's something she can't avoid. I seriously don't understand why she feels so terrible about that.* She hates the fact that she has wasted all her life doing nothing to show them how she feels for them. She hates how stupid and how darn gutless she actually is!! She hates how she has never done anything to them which is worth mentioning. Darn it!

Oh well, I guess she is in quite a one-of-a-kind situation.

i choose. i decide. i decide. i choose

A few things which happened today (no, not just today but also the past one week) reminded me of some little things. some little wonders. the good and the bad. the wrong and the right.
*
decisions.
*
to do or not to do. to stay or not to stay. to follow or not to follow. to run away or not to run away. to obey or disobey. to wait or not to wait. to jump or not to jump. to hide or not to hide. to pretend or not to pretend. to tell or not to tell. to give up or not to give up. to leave or not to leave. to accept or not to accept. it's complicated, right? *i myself is confused, too*

Neh, enough of nonsense. Teehee... it's getting late and I am going nuts. *argh, jiahui, what's new??*

*burp*

The patch of blue black on the back of my left hand is kinda cute. *teehee...*

I gotta start doing the report for my teaching aids thingy. Transpiration. Presentation on next Thursday. *stop thinking that you still have a lot of time to spare, Jiahui!* Sigh, I can't remember a single occasion where any of my school teachers use teaching aids during classes, except chalk, blackboard, powerpoint notes(and that's only during F6). And now I have to crack my head, strain my eyes to think of one, to search for one. *_* Haaaa... but thank God that I have one now. Just hope that it works lar. *sheeeesh...*

Today I felt (am feeling) like one of those days after my softball training sessions. And that was 8 years ago. *_* deee duummm....* I can hear the muscle screaming and me literally ouch-ing with every step I took walking up and down, here and there... wonder if I could drive to cell later in this kind of condition.. =)

cis, bedebah!

I saw the news this morning. And I went WHAT THE HECK??!! I couldn't believe it. Sexist cartoon banner!!!! Cis, this is real bum, I tell you! I guess some people.. erm, those uncles and aunties who always talk crap and give remarks which are so darn gender insensitive.... telling how women should dress in order to keep their husband, making sexist 'jokes' again and again.. Oh gosh, this is real crap. They should go for some gender courses or workshops or things like that la and get gender sensitized..

Come on ladies (and men *i doubt that*), you need someone who can stand up for women's rights and dignity; not some aunties or uncles who buy into the lies behind strengthening the patriarchal*the word 'patriarchal' goes silent when you read it* society and 'being a submissive woman'. I am not saying that it's wrong. Haih.. but then hor... haih, never mind, lazy to explain lar.

Go here and here to know more about the sexist cartoon banner!

Those who have registered and your name is in.. please go and vote!

If you think that your ballot has only one little cross in one of the boxes and it won't bring much changes, therefore you don't need to vote....
If you think that there won't be any/much changes no matter which candidate you choose, therefore you just simply cross one box....
If you think that voting BN means supporting government and voting the Oppositions means going against the government which God has placed in this country, and therefore you cross the dacing....

Hello, you have missed the point
of this thing called general elections
of this thing called our rights and responsibilities as citizens

Every vote counts. Elections is not about predicting winners. You won't waste your vote if you have voted wisely and with clear conscience, even if the candidate you chose didn't win the seat. It's about choosing people who can truly represent the community, being the voice for the community.

This time...
really cannot simply use the word

~WHATEVERLAR~

that's just my two cents =p

think think think!

Dee dum... jeng jeng jeng jeng..
my working place@my little corner@my lala-world

that's how my lala-world looks like, after i 'decorated' the wall with a few flyers this afternoon. i love my bed. =)
I see 'Out Of The Mould' when I look straight. I see all these colorful flyers and posters when I sleep on my left side.

And everyday is my birthday because I will see that tag every morning I wake up.. *ahaaa..*

See la.. i am doing all these crazeee stuff to do reduce tension. sigh, i just remembered that i have an assignment to do in class tomorrow. darn. and notes to read. lines to memorize. steps to remember. things to think. *stop complaining, bum! As if la you are the only one doing all these things!*

Talking about 'thinking'.. it reminded me of a man.

'You come to university to learn to THINK!'
*in a not-so-friend tone*
*I have to be extra careful and alert and
pay extra attention every time I go for his class.

And this reminded me of another uncle.

'So, what do you THINK happened in Iceland?'
*okies, he was talking about Mid Atlantic Ridge, with some ang-moh slang*
*hmm, geology class is a scratch-head class.
Often times I have no idea WTH the lecturer is talking about.
How? I search from wikipedia lor
What to do?

had an interesting conversation with my younger sister. haha. long story la, she was telling me how one unknown fella who saw her once from a distance and somehow got the number through my mum*funny how my mum 'sold her out', haha* kept text-ing her .. asking this and that.. muahaha.. what is this lar.. what a kolot way to try to befriend girls. =p

Hmm, oh yeah, got to know a person who is running for the opposition in this coming election. went to his house on friday night. not for ceramah, it had nothing to do with election but temptations and cautions 1234. it was cell time. but.. woowww... i saw piles of flyers and banners and caps... and shirts.. in the living room. all printed with the logo. fuiyo. it just makes me feel so excited; at the same time, wondering how things would be after this historical day.

Eligible voters... Go, vote!!!

today is saturday.

One down.
And another one -- that uncle cut away the second part of the assignment..

So, now I have N-1.5 to go....

*counting down till I have finished all my N assignments...
i don't even bother to count how many i have.
all i can do is to start another assignment
once i have finished one*
WTH!

this has never happened before!!

*arrrhhh..., bum you!*