in the last few hours of 2008

Cyber cafe. 15 minutes to go.
too much has happened.
esp in the final two weeks of 2008.
spent my christmas eve in hospital with my grandma.
thank God she's fine now.
threw the big envelope away. dumped it in a huge garbage bin. finally.
have been working in my grandpa's shop. almost everyday. tired. haha. really.
go check out this and this. =)

changes. i need some of it.

****

Goodbye 2008

Hello 2009!

reflection? wah, got so much to reflect upon wei....

my holidays..

another week gone.

Pangkor-Sitiawan trip with RC was fun!

all thanx CM for bringing us here and there! =)
kayaked to the island opposite of teluk nipah.

climbed up and down some giant rocks.

fishes and crabs and many chitons.

drove around pangkor island. CM and me -- thought RC how to drive a manual car. i think it was fun coz we were kind of like shouting at her... "change gear..!!!" "2nd gear NOW!!!"....

had fun going around sitiawan.

watched CM and RC trying to fly a kite.

pics??

haha.. soon soon...

i'm lazy to put my thoughts into proper sentences.

=p

that's what you said and what i heard.

i am now in McD. cold. rainy night. wifi.
thoughts keep popping out.
i have been working as waitress since i came back to ipoh.

nothing new.

hectic. stressful. frustrating. enough to turn on my machine gun and lash on every single driver on the road.

i am at the verge of giving up hope on many things. and many people.
sometimes, those situations really make no sense. at all.

but i realised that i was looking at things in my own perspectives.
nothing new.

i couldn't understand
well, they are a bunch of bad people. real bad people.
that's all i need to know.

i wonder how God can work in those situations.
i wonder what's in Abraham's mind N years ago when God called him..
Abraham. Abraham. Abraham.
i wonder what's in my mind. now.

*****

But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you.

O Israel, the one who formed you says,

“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.

I have called you by name; you are mine.

When you go through deep waters,

I will be with you.

When you go through rivers of difficulty,

you will not drown.

When you walk through the fire of oppression,

you will not be burned up;

the flames will not consume you.

For I am the Lord, your God,

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom;

I gave Ethiopia and Seba in your place.

Others were given in exchange for you.

I traded their lives for yours

because you are precious to me.

You are honored, and I love you.

Isa 43:1-4

i need time.

i need you.

the hills are alive

the bus rides.

passed by the camp site that always

brings back the super duper nice homey memories.

THE Camp in Cameron Highlands.

Good. I had a great time there.

got serious stuff. got nonsense crazy stuff.

wrestled with the rachel..

and she pushed me into a puddle of dirty water at the road side.

bed climbing. bed sharing *for a while*

rained everyday in CH.

ran in the rain to hunt for treasure.

all wet. so did my dear nike shoes and so now i can go jogging in the rain.

coffee in the morning.

T-Cafe.

ha.. too much to tell.

lost for words. thanks for the great time there!

=)

i miss you..

drifting

A thousand times I've seen you standing
Gravity like lunar landing
You make me want to run till' I find you
I shut the world away from here
I drift to you, you're all I hear
As everything we know fades to black

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending

I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same

I find a place where we escape
Take you with me for the space
The city buzz sounds just like a fridge
I walk the streets through seven bars
I have to find just where you are
The faces seem to blur
They're all the same

So much more to say
So much to be done
Don't you trick me out
We shall overcome
It's all left still to play

We should've had the sun
Could have been inside
Instead we're over here

~Love Remains the Same, Gavin Rossdale~

here i am waiting for time to pass..

Oh well..
i have a few more hours until i declare my one month internet drought. *_*

i had lots of fun the past few days.
banting trip.
good food!!!
lazing around in the house.
trying to go online.
great company.
meeting up with my banting friends.
morib beach.
pulau ketam. boat ride. big prawns.
taking pictures. flower and dress and dogs.
food and more food.
there's so much to say about all my banting trips but i don't know where or how to start.

i lost count of how many times i have been to Banting. =p

what else?
waiting for time to pass. and spend four days in Cameron Highlands.
and then go back to ipoh. lepak around in ipoh and work as waitress and driver for a month.

what else?
waiting to lay my hands on my camera
and start giving myself some therapeutic moments of snapping pictures.

what else?
i don't know.

what else?
i have been thinking a bit too much.
and wasted quite a lot of time.

what else?
the first sem of my final year has ended.
oh boy.. time waits for no man. =(

what else?
i think that's all.

byez!

away

i don't know what or how

to express what i'm feeling right now.

today is my Mama's bday!!!!!!

yeah, today is my mum's bday
and we have the same bday date which 20th!!
=)
hehe...

i miss her
i can't wait to go home on the 27th
and be her driver and her maid.
*not really la =p *
and eat her super nice home cook food.
and drink whatever leong sui she boils.
and listen to her telling me stories and more stories.
and the list goes on and on....
she is the super cool mum!!
haha...
=)

Happy birthday Mi!!!!!!

stopping by ...

alright..

i am back here.

no more exams til 5 months later.
well, thank God that it wasn't very bad. =p

i was in KLIA on the 13th with Jason Ho the conman@bruce@donut@other names to send off Jessica my campcam daughter and saw my cute grandson Emmanuel's picture. then lepak-ed in KL and ate chili pan mee and kulfi. then went to petaling street looking for beef noodle but it's closed and so we ate hokkien mee. this was with rachel the choong and george.

and watched ps i love you for the 12th time.
yeah, i have no life.
pinball and spider solitaire and lazed on the bed for the whole afternoonssss...

post-exams ~~~
Quantum of solace.
Supper kat Strawberry fields and lepak-ed there till almost two and the next day had karaoke and Madagascar 2. funny giler. =p
supper kat the Jalan 223 place til 1 after bible study and laughed like mad fellas. *ok, that's exagerration*

went to petaling street again yesterday. hakka mee. it feels weird to walk down the stairs at pudu bus station, and walk back up again and not boarding the bus back to your home and stuff like that. but to send off choong back to penang. =p

BBQ with church friends. aha.. we had Jon the Chubs as our chef so we didn't need to smell like some smoked homo sapiens. threw sueling into the pool. cool. nice food. super nice place called armanee terrace.
but i wished that i was at somewhere else. alright. nvm. think good thoughts. it was super duper ironic but nvm. it's ok, jiahui. its' ok. =p

going off to banting soon. bus ride and train ride alone is quite fun. =p

half way through..

3 more papers to go.
Neuro. Histo. Human physio.
have to read and memorize teruk-teruk.. *_*

well, the Sosiologi Persekolahan... grrrhh.. terrible..
=p let's forget about it, since it's already over.

happy happy..
i found rain at 4 in the morning. =)

maybe it does have quite a long effect on me.
i'm happy. =)

ok.. better go back to my neuro notes....

happy

he brings a big warm smile to my heart every time
I look at him
=)

it ends here.

淡淡然...

there's no meaning to it, anymore.

fate has led you through it
you do what you have to do

1st important date of the month!!!!

hAppy BiRthdAy~~~

to the cutie Ah baBy in the house!!!!!

you're the happy-go-lucky girl in the family
chubby.. hehehe
funny... hahahha
laughy... wakakaka..
and
you're the

smiley!!!!
=)

i miss you wei....

let him go.

永远爱一个人亦易过不爱这个人
it's easier to love a person forever
than not to love him.

~爱上一个人, 郑秀文~

i shouldn't have done that last night

her little-world

she realized that she likes to lock
herself in her own little-world.
she isn't sure when it started but
the little world has always been there.
offering her much solace
and solitude.

and so
she continues to stay in her own little-world
that rains most of the time.
it's always blue
gray
and white.

once in a while
you see sunshine bursting in
with joy and laughter.
she hopes for rains when the sun shines
and sunshines
when the rain falls.

***

悲哀不是場虛幻
Grief is not a delusion

Everlasting Regret

我是蝴蝶 流浪於花樣胸膛
我沒重量 要飛出這個弄堂
我要情感 還要一張雙人床 成長
年少輕狂 誰也有可能來往

恨　歲月　背叛
往事都變成了災難　遺憾
恨人生的長廊
一場熱鬧　留下行李 要自己承擔
恨我的眼淚　併發得我提心吊膽
證明悲哀不是場虛幻

不甘平凡　感情卻是種負擔
告別青春　卻沒有告別渴望
想愛就愛　可惜已經跟愛情 無關
如夢舊歡　只是徒勞的糾纏

恨　歲月　背叛
往事都變成了災難　遺憾
恨人生的長廊
一場熱鬧　留下行李　要自己承擔
恨我的眼淚　併發得我提心吊膽
證明悲哀不是場虛幻
愛情是我生存力量

~長恨歌, 鄭秀文~

你叫我最快乐, 你也叫我最心痛

爱在迷惘中

你叫我最渴望, 却也叫我猜不中

谁可以这样折衷

要说这晚算吧, 却觉爱己经失控

~抱拥这分钟, 郑秀文~

***

sometimes
things can only be expressed
through those chinese characters.

those were the days...

Show Mi 2007 was awesome!!
I found it on youtube.. ahaha.. it's a superb performance! =)

Wondering why I am blogging about this huh?? i bet you didn't know this part of jiahui.. hehe..

Neh, the whole show is like a journey bringing me back to my 'budak days'...

Well, I grew up listening to her songs.
the jimo songs. the disco dancing songs.... etc..

Watched her movies. dramas. concerts. mtvs. followed closely any news about her. kept pictures and newspaper cuttings of her. decorated my room with posters of her. wrapped my books with plastic covers and slit the pictures of her inside. buat macam pembalut-buku-dengan-muka-sammi-cheng.

i remembered the days when me and my friends were so giler about her .. and basically everything about her lar.. haha.. it's was crazzzzzzyyyy...!!! For us (for me, even till now!), no one can 'fight' with her, i tell you!!! hmmmmph!!!

i still remembered how i asked my dad to go get her albums for me. Aha.. =) i would be jumping for joy (kinda) every time he came back with a new album to add to my collection. Teehee.. and my friends would give me her albums and posters as bday present *hint hint, my bday is in 4 months time*

It has been more than 12 years... Oh my gosh... it makes me feel old as I listen to her songs... the old ones, as well as the new ones. =)

I was once a giler girl.
I think I still am.

a.c.j.a

the people and the wonderful time
spent together.
=)

the picture brings back so much fond memories .. hehe..
ah, how time flies..

Rainy days

我的心却无法事过境迁

my heart still couldn't let go of the past
this is harder than what i expected
it's like a knife stabbing me to death
when you told me that
you no longer remember
the things you did
the words you wrote
the pictures you drew
and the warmth you gave

那伤心乱成一片

some important dates in Nov.

Before Nov, let's start with Oct!

23/10

Histology test. now looking at the slides. wondering what the heck i drew during lab hours. but thank God for digicam!
KO-K exhibition thingy. handed in my piece of art. =p

1/11
Math Curriculum Planning

Hand in the stupid assignment. not done yet. it's gonna cost me a bomb to print it out. heck!
and sit for the stupid exam where you have to keep on writing and writing. don't even have much time to process the things you are to write. I have asked 3 or 4 friends about that, and all of them gave me the same answer. =(

5/11
Socio MCQ.

it's interesting how the Datin reminded us what is MCQ, OCR, 2B pencil, erase properly, ... etc..
Well, by the way, i don't really know what i have learned in socio for the whole sem. i went for classes to daydream, talk crap, pretend to be attentive when listening to people who are talking or presenting. terrible ha....

10/11

Neurobiology
I like! But there's a lot to remember. wondering how to get the stuff on neurotransmitters. the seminar worth 25 marks and i wonder how much i got from that coz i think i kinda screwed it up. today we'll have the last class. have been discussing sleep and consciousness and dreams. trying to connect those 5 stages of sleep with my sleeping patterns and hours. quite fun eh. haha. waiting for opportunities to test the REM sleep.. see what happen to the eyes.. haha..

14/11
Human and animal physiology.
Heck. I don't like. Darn it. i got tonnes of stuff to read for this subject. and i may need to write stuff like "how is 'calm, cool & relax' related to human physiology", or "Chandelier, relate it to human physiology...", or "Superstar, relate it to human physiology...."
Grrrrhhh... what kind of exam questions are these??

15/11
Histology
I like! but again, there's soooo much to read and remember. well, at least some stuff overlaps with neurobiology and physiology. it kinda helps. haha.

By the way, this friday we will be going to the Anatomy thingy in Medic fac. Haha. It's gonna be fun! I was thinking if i should go twice. haha. one with the histo group, another with the neuro group. =)

Well, there are other important dates in the month of november as well.
Like, 2/11, 4/11, 9/11, 11/11, 20/11, 24-27/11, 27/11....

i miss home... =)

*issh, i still prefer my old TooInch specs..*

曾聽說有許多戀愛
沒有結果 卻剩傷心者感慨
令我都刻意避開
是我不敢相信真愛
但你不惜真心真意對待
竟令我再感到意外
讓我獻出全部熱愛 全面喝采

如果今天將失去眼前的一切
剩低清風兩袖也不計
唯獨你一個是不可給取替
是我生命裡的一切
如早知今生跟你有幸可相愛
在當初應更努力為未來
其實我知道是可一不可再
下半生准我留住你 一直相愛

誰似你這般欣賞我
誰也說不上你一般清楚我
問我可需要甚麼
願你終身交託給我
讓我一生好好把你照料
請讓我體恤你需要
為你獻出全部熱愛 從來沒缺少

唯獨你一個是不可給取替

**
an old song

'you are irreplaceable'
**

two empty benches.
one morning.

silence.

i always thought it was fun. i still remember how it's like. the awkwardness and not knowing what to talk about and trying to find a common topic. in fact, i kinda liked it just like that. just being there with one another. quiet and yet you know that you are safe. you are protected. nothing will go wrong. even if anything went wrong, you know that you are not alone.

i always thought it was fun. until now.

i hate that i can't make myself to kick you out of my life. yes, it's you.

the silence that was once interesting and heart-warming has become a thing that irritates me and it's slowly eating me away...

i hate you.

these little things...

You were there.
Alert
Yet trembling.
I came near.
But you chose to run away
To hide.

I saw fear in your eyes.

I thought I could carry you to somewhere safer but you ran away from me as I drew closer.....

*****

i saw a kitten at library car park when i was on the way back to my little room...
poor thing...
i don't know what will happen to it.
and i began to imagine the worst -- knocked down by drivers who are blind... kicked and hit by some stupid anti-feline fellas... fell into drains and the big drain that looks like a river... starved to death... bitten by larger animals... garh, i always think about the worst case senario. =(

but on the other hand, maybe the mama cat found the kitten and then you have the 'happy family ending'... maybe some nice people adopted it and fed it... maybe it befriended a squirrel then they take care of each other where the squirrel learns to meow while the kitten learns to climb up and down... and now you know i have a thing for cats and kittens ha.. =)

today is a good day. i mean, kinda happy. although it's still one kind and i'm still breathing in the jimo-ness. although i have to rush my assignment. although i fought with rachel. *ahem*. although this. although that. although you were there but you weren't really there.

i felt like 'you' now.

smiles that are wet with tears.

time

yesterday.
a few days ago.
a few nights ago.
10 months ago.
4 years ago.
7 years ago.

2 more years.
They are now like ashes.
The wind blows.
And it's gone.

When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?"

"Sir," the invalid replied, "I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me."

Then Jesus said to him, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk."

John 5:6-8

38 years. perhaps he was 'comfortable' in his misery.
I have been thinking about Jesus' question.

'Do you want to get well?'

this is for you.

mianhada,
saranghanda

Little by little, on this path,
comes the season
when I had to let you go

i don't know why i have become like that. i don't know why my answers to those questions are always the same for the freaking 3 years plus. i can only gave the same answers every time we met. ok la, like that la, bearable la, nothing much la, still the same la.. blah blah blah... and FULL STOP. it really makes me super frustrated. i don't know how to tell you the things that had happened, the good and bad i have gone through, and how these things have changed me, affected me, paralyzed me, and even 'killed' me. time and distance do separate people. and on the other hand, my unwillingness to open up and be vulnerable just makes the matter worse. perhaps this is something i need to handle on my own. i don't think i can find my heart anymore because i have traded it with something. somewhere. some time ago. oh well, i should just continue with my 'whatever' attitude, take whatever you are served, think less about worse case senarios, be more forgetful (and forgiving if can, esp to my own self). and make life a little bit happier. i think that's all i can say at this point of life. highland or valley, they don't matter much. the thing is, do i really know who is the one beside me? do i really know the one who has been with me all this while, the one who has been my help thus far?? or am i still looking high and low for someone else? =(

i'm ....

I'm not...broke
I'm just a broken hearted man,

I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move on
when I'm still in love with you...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

There are no holes in his shoes
But a big hole in his world...
~The Man Who Can't Be Moved, The Script~

........

i'm back. here.
i'm wasting my time.

Home.
=)

what a day!

The day started with morning prayer meeting at KPS Gazebo and after that, breakfast.. and since it's early in the morning and we were all super hyper after having our nasi lemak, roti milo, mee goreng, etc... the four of us ~ Chian ming, Li ern, Ben and i.. we did some real silly stuff with the KPS 'palang'....

the pictures are not clear coz' it's from a video!! =p
each of us had our turn..
but all FAILED...! =(

Kayaking in the evening.

Tasik Varsiti.
Taken yesterday evening after my photography class.

but i have no pictures of people kayaking.. nvm, i still have some cycling and jumping pictures though.. =)

It's uncle TimCheng's bike.

Adelene and Emily

Jump, babe!!

Rachel and Emily

OKay.. that's all for today!

=)

i can't wait to go home
=)

you walk alone

you NEVER walk alone

edited 23rd Sept, 4.40pm

these 4 hearts

broken heart.
hardened heart.
confused heart.
messed-up heart.

u know what...

Jiahui has a short fuse
And she is not amused
So when her 'thunderstorms' strike
You had better find a place to hide

Sometimes she sounded like a gangster
It's because she lost her 'mood controller'
Please kindly excuse her for being 'crude'
She will try to cure her problem from the root

Jiahui is going for lantern walk
Talk the walk and walk the talk
It's almost 3-quater way thru' the semester
How time flies and there's so much to ponder

At times she got fed up
But it's time to wake up
'Go pack up your things
Abandon the unessential and get going!'

***
By the way, I am really amused with myself for what I have typed above... hahahaha...

untitled.

I just watched the video of a short interview with Teresa's Kok mother.. you can go here..

The video ended with this.. the mother says....
"I can only encourage her. I told her that we are people who believe in God. The Bible tells us that blessed are those who are persecuted because of fighting for justice. Such people are the children of God. I encouraged her with these words. I told her not to give up but keep on praying..."

None can live out any of the Beatitudes if he or she doesn't have God with him/her.

Free Teresa! Abolish ISA!

deedummmm..

...hypnotized
mesmerized...

talking nonsense.
lazy to go for 0730 class.
darn useless class.
go there just to copy the stupid notes.
sheesssh.. boring.
=(

=)
never mind, i m looking forward to monday afternoon ~ i can go back to bed then... teehee.. =p

h u r r i c a n e

BiRtHdAy BOy!!!!

Today is my bro's bday!! Teehee...

Two weeks ago.. he asked...

"When are you coming back??"
"Raya lor..."

My mum said his 'face colour' changed when he heard that...
Awww...

Anywayzz....
Ah Boy is 14 this year and he is .....

growing taller.... =p

a smarty fella..

annoying at times..

considerate....

caring and loving and quite patient, *unlike me*...

punctual...

a badminton player *winks*
a taichi master =p

he thinks like an uncle at times... *which is not a bad thing*

My mum always tells me this story..
When Ah Boy was still in kindergarten, there was once he left his lego stuff everywhere.. and my mum was like..

"Oi JunXiang Wong, I will eat all these lego up if you are not going to keep them!!"

Ah Boy was like shocked and sad and he said.....

"Ah Mi.. don't eat them, don't eat them!!! You will die if you eat them!!"

I think my mum's heart melted when she heard that. That's why she always tells me this story.

He always tries to be the mediator between my dad and my mum...
There was once my dad irritated my mum......
Ah Boy said to Ah Ba..

"Ah Mi hasn't eaten anything ar, go buy something for her la.."

My dad can be a 'real man' at times, ie blur and doesn't know how to jadi orang and he said to Ah Boy,

"What to buy??? She said she doesn't want to eat wat....."

Ah Boy was like..

"Haiyah.. she simply said only la... Just buy something la..
Ah Mi like curry mee, go buy for her larr!!!!!!"

He takes notice of what you like and what you dislike. I think he will be a real good boyfriend. and a husband. Hahahahha...

He pakai cantik-cantik when he goes for a certain tuition classes.. i can't remember which few. And a certain certain tuition, he will just simply pakai as in he won't pakai the nice nice baju lar.. you know why.. hahaha.. =)

There are too many stories about Ah Boy .. where one blog post is not enough to contain them but I think telling this much is enough d... hahaha..

HaPPy BiRtHdAy!!!!!
i miss you!!!!
i miss bullying you!!!!
i miss driving you around!!!!

p.s. i guess the vain pot thingy does run in the family. he took this picz by himself. =p

it's like a market...

... When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, Jesus went up to Jerusalem.
In the temple courts he found men selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money.
So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple area, both sheep and cattle;
he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables.
To those who sold doves he said,
"Get these out of here! How dare you turn my Father's house into a market!".....
John 2:13-16

It's like a market.
Within and without me.

d i s a r r a y.

Struggling between the facts and fiction

I’m alone

But I'm alive

Everyone around me is trying to make a statement, then there's me

I’m just trying to survive

Someday I'm gonna find it
Wish I knew what I was looking for
Inside the disarray
I woke up this morning
Don’t know where I’m going
But it’s alright
I wouldn't have it any other way

~Disarray, Lifehouse~

There's a story behind every picture

What are they trying to tell us huh?

p.s.
the pic makes me laugh my heart out.
=)

leave. or stay.

you were a storm
it blew us away
i wouldn't leave you
but you couldn't stay

~Last Train Home, Ryan Star~

life, onion, and tears

Life is like an onion:
You peel it off one layer at a time,

and sometimes you weep.

~Carl Sandburg~

updates =]

"if we are all alone,
then we are all in that together"
~Patricia, P.S. I Love You

Garh... do I need to tell you how many times I have watched the show over the weekend?? Neh..

*sigh, i can't online in my room coz the modem kena goreng... =(

So.. basically the whole weekend was about P.S. I Love You and my physiology notes. Argh...

***
I just want to see you
When you're all alone
I just want to catch you if I can
I just want to be there
When the morning light explodes
On your face it radiates
I can't escape
I love you til' the end

I just want to tell you
Nothing you don't want to hear
All I want is for you to say
Oh why don't you just take me
where I've never been before
I know you want to hear me
Catch my breath
I love you til' the end
***

"i just can't say goodbye yet"

the helium balloon, and the people!

These are some of the pics taken on the 9th Aug.

Rachel and munteng and the flowers and the helium balloon!
Haha, i really love this pic!! Pretty!! =)

weekee and rachel
both with some funny weird same expression and look at their lips,
and the helium balloon!!

the guys. Adrian and Zachary and the camera and the helium balloon!

Chian Ming and Zach and Tux with Weekee at the back and Munsiong with Aiwei at the back and KeeAun with some other people at the back and PikTze and Suitlin and Benjamin and Adrian and the umbrella and the helium balloon!!!

still..

tell me what to do

**
'Cause it's us against the world
You and me against them all
If you're listening to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that I won't catch you when you fall
'Cause it's us against the world tonight
~Us Against the World, Westlife~

thou shall not be forgetful

Neurobiology -- I have to hand in an essay this afternoon, besides sitting for that super confusing test.

And so.. I have completed my essay about neuroscience research done on rats about a week earlier and was waiting for the right time to print, ie I was just procrastinating..

Scream no.1: Initial plan is to print it at the cyber cafe in KPS, then climb up to PKV Booth. While I was walking to PKV Booth with Rachel, Adelene and Divya...

"Oh shuckz.. I forgot to save the essay in my pendrive!! Garrhh.."

Ha... but then I was thinking, "Nevermind, I still have Friday morning!" =)

And during the meeting, I wrote a note and placed it in my pencil case. I needed a reminder.

Okay lar, so I went to print the essay this morning. went for physiology class. read the neuro notes for 2 more times. took pictures for Adele, Dawn and Jane. went for Boys&Girls Day Out thingy. Sat for the neuro test. It's confusing coz' we were to fill in numbers instead of the names of the parts of brain and spinal cord. Some questions were kinda weird, don't really understand what I am supposed to answer.

I left earlier. Ah, no point looking at the numbers again and again.
Walked all the way back to MC under the hot sun.
Reached my room. Unlocked. Walked into the room. Dragged myself towards my desk. Turned right.

Guess what I saw??

For a few seconds, I was like.... STONED.... scream no.2...

"Oh crap... I haven't handed in my essay!!!!!!! what to do?? what to do??
walk back? don't care and hand in after mid sem break?
argh!!!!"

Sigh. The essay was in my file the whole day. And it never crossed my mind that I am supposed to submit it today. Of coz, I walked back in to campus, all the way to ISB... argh!!

Well... and I just realised that I forgot to get the manual on how to go about preparing for the seminar on Neurotransmitter...

terrible.

Jiahui, thou shall not be forgetful!!!!

run!

So we will run altogether our hearts aflame
with a fire that can’t be tamed
Our God all glory to Your name
We will run Our surrender to bring You fame
Our desire that You be praised
Our God all glory to Your name, Jesus!

pic taken by BenOng.
lyrics~Hillsong United, Run

it happened again..

~~i was trying to run from one place to another. but it's so hard to make each step. it's as if something was pulling me from behind. It's so hard to life your legs, it's something like running along some super thick muddy path where you need to spend extra energy to lift your legs but i was just running on tar road... *_*~~

Garh.. it's my N time having this kind of 'running' dream.

half way thru'

Psalm 27
The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid? v1

One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple. v4

My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"
Your face, LORD, I will seek. v8

Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD. v14

***

Half a semester has almost gone.

There many things I have done as well as things I have yet to do.

~

Grievance. Celebration.

Tiredness. Strength.

Foolishness. Wisdom.

Complaint. Gratitude.

Lament. Rejoice.

~That was my past one and a half month.

I am thankful that He never gives up on me. And He will never leave me nor forsake me.

it's not easy

It reminded me that ..

"It's not easy to be a friend."

he ain't heavy
he is my brother

****
Give, and it will be given to you.

A good measure, pressed down, shaken together
and running over, will be poured into your lap.
For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
Luke 6:38

convo week!!!

Some pictures taken here and there this evening. =)
It was a week of great fun and joy and celebration!!
*garh.. to the graduated kawans... me gonna miss you all a lotzz!!!*

waited. tried. lied.

i waited but you never came.

and you will never come.

you and me
i tried too hard.

i lied.

life. mistakes. today. tomorrow

She said,

"Life is short.
You can't afford to learn from your own mistakes.
Learn from others and don't repeat their mistakes.."

***

She kinda said this half jokingly during our Histology lab this afternoon. And therefore among our gang of lab-mates, we were waiting to see who want to be the first few to stain the specimens and cover the slides with coverslip. Well, you know.. so that you can see how people do it... whether the end product is good, or bad.

I guess.. what she said hit me beyond the things on H&E staining of specimens.

She's talking about life.

I can't afford to waste time and continue to do stupid things. Set your heart and mind on things above, not on earthly things, Jiahui!!

You may be here today and gone tomorrow.

Teach me to say,

"It is well with my soul"

Tagged by Daphne

Name 5 people you can think of right off the top of your head. Or you can use your top 5. Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 5 people. This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly list the names first. No Cheating!

1. Adelene
2. Suitlin
3. Rachel
4. KC
5. Avni
   

1. How did you meet number 3?
PKVUM

2. On a scale 1-10 rate your friendship with number 5?
Wah.. 4?

3. How long have you known 4?
Entering our 4th year.

4. How do you know number 2?
She is my coursemate, roommate, makanmate, once-in-a-long-while lepakmate.. etc

5. What would you do if 3 told you that he/she loves you?
Rachel, I love you too!!!

6. A fact about number 1.
Gosh.. hehe.. erm.. she is tall????

7. Who is 4 going out with?
You go ask her. =)

8. What does 5 do for a living?
Studying. medical student.

9. Would you live with number 3?
It would be kinda fun. hehe..

10. What do you like about number 1?
She is great friend. =)

11. Do you miss number 2?
haha.. yeah.. coz the room is soooo quiet when she is not in. *bleh*

12. Would you kiss number 3?
Haaa..? yeah.. like this -----------> XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

13. What's your opinion of number 4?
Wow.. she ar.. serving God faithfully. always encourages me. always asks the right questions at the right time. kick me at my * at the right time. teehee...

14. What's your favorite memory with number 1?
Haha.. erm.. too many. Erm.. maybe the trips we went together? Camps, cameron, banting,.. movies... Oh yeah... the Bukit Tinggi Trip!!!!! How can I ever forget that??

15. What would you do if 1 and 2 were dating?
impossible la. so no need to think what i would do..

16. Ever had a long conversation with number 5?
Nope. not yet. =)

17. Have you ever slept at 2's house?
No wor... should try once.. in her green room... on her thick mattress...

18. Do you hang out a lot with 3?
Erm.. hang out in campus for dinner and lunch and PKV meetings and com meetings and ... bible study... and jogging? =)

19. Who have you known the longest?
Haha... i think ah.. 1 and 2 and 4.. almost the same..

20. Who have you known the shortest?
5.. =)

21. How often do you talk and see 1?
Monday to Friday..

22. What about 2?
Hahaha.. during our sociology classes.. and after that lunchie.. and when we are back in our little room...

23. Tag 2 people and tell them you tagged them.
Just do it if you are free... like me.. hahaha..

Passion KL!

OKies, here are some super blur pics... i was lazy to take picz anyway..
neh... they said don't use flash ma... ok la.. no flash and waited a few seconds, held with steady hands.. i repeat.. 'steady hands' wei.. but.. argh.. nevermind la.. =p

___________________________________________________________

Your grace is enough.

situations and people. screwed up. hopeless. GRACE.
and i'm grateful that You hear us.

You’re the light in this darkness.

You’re the hope to the hopeless.

You’re the peace to the restless.

***

to die, or to live long...

He chose to take the blame for something he didn't do
in order to give the people a hero they needed...

and

she said,

"I don't think it's so important to die a hero..
It's more important to live..
and doing the right thing..
the rest.. let God be the judge.."

it's in you

tiredness.disappointment.anti social.fears.chaos.seriousness.disgust.rage.despair.

grief.hopelessness.darkness.frustration.anger.loneliness.trapped.directionless.

***
I don't want to give up.

why so serious??!!!

A weekend without internet.
A weekend of bumming in the bed.. slept and slept and slept for almost half the Saturday and a huge part of Sunday.. woke up just for meal time and to try whether the stupid internet connection is working or not, woke up just for service, woke up for the jogging thingy...

I began to see how lonely it could be to stay in my room. Really.

"Why.... so..... serious???!!"

I am very upset with the things my mum and my youngest sister told me.
I can't be ignorant and indifferent about that but I have no idea what I should do.
or how I should respond to it.
It makes me felt like a jerk.

"Why.... so..... serious???!!"

I am disappointed. frustrated. sad. confused. and the list goes on.

"Why.... so..... serious???!!"

I don't want to see that person repeating the same mistake. =|

"Why.... so..... serious???!!"

See beyond the smiles and laughters and the 'okays'.
and you'll find me.

walk walk walk....

i had a long walk this evening. to meet the quota for the rest of the week.
went round and round and round Tasik Universiti for an hour.
counting "1, 2, 3,.."
telling myself "final year, final year... jiahui... final year!!!"
Okay, i am thinking too much.

The evening was full of surprises. hehe. nice weather. bumped into munsiong, li ern & timCheng. Had dinner with AJ and Rachel at Paandhi instead of Sahur coz of my brilliant suggestion and it was great! *even though we had to walk all the way.. passed by 6th College, cut thru UH and almost got lost there... it took us 40minutes to walk to Paandhi..should have taken the usual route..* Anywayz, it's the adventure and company that made the evening beautiful. =]

i am now reading some notes for tmrow's Histology test. microscope stuff. sigh. sleepy.

in that little corner of her heart and life

Some things happened which cause her to realise that she rarely walks by faith regarding issues of great concern. It seems that when the burdens get heavy, she tries to carry them on her own. She frets and worries. She imagines the worst case scenario. She tries to determine what she can do to remedy the problem. She wastes time wishing things were different. When what she should be doing is giving God the opportunity to do His work. Worrying will not change a thing, but faith can change everything.

For we walk by faith, not by sight.
2 Corinthians 5:7

***

open heart. open home. open ear.

Martha - fussing far too much and getting herself worked up over nothing. Mary - choosing one thing that is essential, one thing that worth being concerned about ~ the main course which will not be taken from her. Jesus - free in affirming, loving Martha and Mary the same. Back to this girl, she cares too much about details even though at times she does try to overlook them coz she doesn't want to get too stressed up. Neh..

***

What a friend said about her 2 years ago is true -- that she built a wall which not many can break down and get through. I guess it's something like the semi permeable membrane of our cells. It's selective. It has special channels for organic and inorganic materials to go through it. Some channels are gated, they open/close when stimulated. Some channels only open to molecules with certain molecular size. Some molecules pass through the membrane passively without using energy while some need ATP to do so.

***

She thought she is good in adapting to changes. No. She's just ignoring those changes until it gets to her nerves. Her flexibility and spontaneity sucks. She always ask herself why can't she be less rigid, or maybe less organized, giving herself more space to do something that springs out from nowhere, allowing herself to experience something different. Oh well...

***

Ha... a night of bible study and a simple afternoon of getting together in her small little room which she called 'home' brought so many things to her mind..

somewhere here and there..

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
You belong with your love on your arm
You belong somewhere you feel free
~Tom Petty~
**

I guess JV weeks is the time I can break my another record - staying out for more than 12 hours a day, or go back to my tiny room just to get changed, maybe to grab some stuff, and then cabut.

Class is boring as usual. except my neurobiology class, and maybe including histology class. *must be due to the good lecturer i have for both the subjetcs. hahaha.. and besides all the exciting things we have to learn!!!*. human physio suckz big time coz of the uncle but the company makes it bearable. haha. sociology. maths curriculum planning. asas fotografi. neh.

730am class on mondays is a killer. basically i'm zombie-ing on my seat with a pen and paper... trying hard to copy the notes. cis.... the handwriting is worse than usual. =p

new room-mate. sigh. need to do some adaptation work. you won't understand the tension i need to go thru with this kind of changes.

mixed feelings.

weird.

stressed. and it's beginning to fill up every cm of my face. again.

***

sometime between the dreams of your youth and yesterday,
something precious has been lost.
and that treasure is your heart.......
~Stasi E., Captivating~

0-10, Part 2

An hour of evening walk+jog,
this time it was less boring...
terserempak some friends...
nice weather.
put into practice some of the things i learned in my first year first sem PJK.
counting.. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, .... 30
walked.. jogged.. walked.. jogged..
did the numbers help me to clear my mind? i think so
***
earlier of the day....
had some 'rubber' that disguised as pieces of beef for lunch..
*bleh.....*
lab was fun! took pictures with bottles containing
heart, liver, spleen, intestine, testis.. of the poor white mouse.
what else?
after 3 years, today i terserempak my ex-roomie from 4th.
it's as if my first year was just yesterday.
B116 my room...
***

over the years,
i discovered something about myself
for some people, they may see it as a weakness.

"Move on, friend!"

***
0 to 10
why should i let my week be so sucky that i can only give it a 4?

0-10

A scale of 0 to 10...

I gave last week a 7.
8 is a little too near perfect 10.
6 is little too bad for what i experienced in my first week of semester.

We are now at the middle of 2nd week.
I would give it a 4.
People said I have the word S.T.R.E.S.S. written all over my face.
No. not really that stressed. a bit, yeah. but i'm ok.
*suppressed, repressed, depressed, distressed, expressed*
Hoping that it will jump up to at least 6, maybe.

Well, I think I need something more than evening walk around UM.
Perhaps something more aggressive. Something more exciting.
*it does imply that evening walk is boring =p*

And now is way past my usual sleeping time.
It's gonna be TnT again. =|

14th July of 2007 and 2008

I picked this for myself.
14th July 2007, a rook.
14th July 2008, a 'xiang' which says "Minister".

*the book is my bday present from this sister who has been super jaga-ing me since my 1st year until now, even though she has already graduated. =)

It has been 3 long years. A few more months to go. I know.
I don't think that I have done much, or anything significant.
But the experiences is something which I won't trade for anything else.

An Open Heart. An Open Home. An Open Ear.
And for me, an open eye to see how God works in people and through people.
Tell me, how to be like Oogway and Sifu -- to believe in Po that he could fight against Tai Long.

A reminder to myself.

The Master said, "Martha, dear Martha,
you're fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing.
One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it --
it's the main course, and won't be taken from her."
Luke 10:41-42

**
Lord prepare me
To be a sanctuary
Pure and holy
Tried and true
With thanksgiving
I'll be a living sanctuary
For You

hide and seek

At times,
you wish you could find a place to hide.

this is the 3rd day of the semester

1. i need to be wiser.
2. brother called to tell me that daily dose of coffee makes me fat.
3. the lecturer's hair looks like a wig and he is a weirdo.
   
4. i have been repeating the same line again, and again.. and again.. "I am still working on this and that...". and yes, i am still working on those things.
   
5. i dreamed that we need to hide from some killer radiation that will come unexpectedly. we are supposed to hide in a huge container that has a thick layer of plumbum. i think this comes from the nuclear bomb scene in the latest Indiana Jones show.
6. dead cockroaches are 'crispy and crunchy-like'. i stepped on one and it sounds like as if u stepped on some potato chips.
7. 13 credit hours. hehe. happy. not that i haven't tried taking that few before. =)
8. "Justice is absolute. Fairness is relative."
9. stupid ulcer can be giler sakit and makes me wanna keep my mouth shut - don't talk so much. don't eat so much. don't drink so much.
10. still adapting and trying to get in tune with people and some other stuff. final year. gosh, it's sinking in..

do not go
where the path may lead,
go instead
where there is no path
and leave a trail...
T.S. Eliot

Trust

We have been in many trials,

but we have never yet been cast

where we could not find in our God

all that we needed.

~Spurgeon~

=)

Final year.
Here I come!

it happened again...

oh well... we were the lazy tourists who went to Cameron Highlands to eat, sleep, talk, walk a bit, take pictures..

This time... we were the lazy bums who lepak in Banting for two days..
we ate apples and Big Apple Donuts and nice breakfast and lunch, they ate durians; slept, went online, talked, laughed, read comics *Garfield!!!*, went a big fat round morib-kelanang-jugra-sg buaya...


Life is good, isn't it?

fireflies

After such a long time..
I finally knew why I always saw fireflies from my room window..

*gasp, bodoh betul!*

s i l e n c e

It's chaotic. It's confusing.

***
All my delight is in You
All of my hope
All of my strength

give me grace to do Your will.

i think too much

I was cycling around the neighbourhood, following the trail that leads to no way.
And I had to make a u-turn.
**
I was sitting for an exam.
And I left out one question coz I didn't read the instructions carefully.
They tricked me. It's supposed to be 'answer 2 questions from each part' but it turned out to be 'answer one from part A, and 3 from part B'.
**
I was in the hospital lobby, waiting to get in to the lift.
There were so many people and they just rushed in whenever a lift is opened.
And I waited. But the lifts didn't wait for me...
After some time, I found myself walking along the corridor...
**

Some familiar dreams which I found myself in again.
Some real life situations that happened again in dreams.

can you help me?

As I am typing this.. my room stinks like crap and I am breathing in Ridsect air.. at the same time I am trying to google "how to kill cockroach".. and at the same time.. I am reading my plant physiology notes.. multitasking me, no prob! =)

J is super frustrated!! And irritated!! And agitated!!

Thank God for cockroaches. They are such a lovely creatures. Their shiny black armor. Their flying skills. Good at hiding.. Nice smell..

Since the night I stepped on the cockroach, I really got phobia... If I woke up in the middle of the night, I would check and see whether those dark patches are cockroaches or what, then only I will step on the floor. Scary. Sometimes, I would have the feeling that there's cockroach hiding somewhere and ever ready to give me a surprise.. At times, I would turn back and look at the door.. see if there's anything trying to make its way in... Whenever I go to fetch hot water from the water cooler, I would see if there any cockroaches nearby and I will just do a favour by going extra round(s).. and kill them with the hot water. Oh well, that's me and my nice friend(s).

You know what... I have just cleaned the floor this morning coz there were some ants crawling on the floor and bed and door frame.. And what happened just now? Thank God for sharp eyes that I was able to spot the cockroach near the shoe rack besides roomie's cabinet. As usual, I paused to think..

"Hot water? Ridsect? Hot water? Ridsect?"
"Darn it, Ridsect la.. where got time to get hot water? It would have gone by the time I got the hot water..."

And so, i sprayed teruk-teruk on the stupid cockroach. I wasted so much ridsect on it. It was still moving after I sprayed so much.. Where on earth does it come from wei?? I think survival of the fittest is a real truth in this sense. An increase of resistance against insecticide gives that particular cockroach clan an advantage. Maybe, you know, as time goes by, the ancestors who survived the gas attack(s) went thru genetic modification due to the chemicals of the insecticide and this gives that clan a higher resistance over insecticide... Possible right??

Sigh.. anyway, I flooded my room. Same place. I washed it out with water. Again. Oh well, any how, I will need to mop the floor what..

See, I told you ... I have too many cockroach stories to tell... I think I am doomed if there's punishment for cockroach killers... =p

Yo.. Check this out...

ASIAN COCKROACH MANAGEMENT

Asian cockroaches present a rather difficult pest management challenge for professionals and homeowners in the affected areas. Typically, these cockroaches are an outdoor pest problem, but they do readily enter the home and can establish an infestation inside. The adults are strong fliers and are attracted to exterior and interior lighting and/or other light-colored surfaces and areas around a home. Management should begin with raking and removal of any leaf litter or other conditions which provide harborage to these roaches in the landscape. Then, if possible, bright lights should also be eliminated or their brightness reduced. Exclusion techniques (caulking, weather-stripping, sealing of weep holes, etc.) should be considered.

...
...

5 Steps to a Happier, Cockroach Free!!!! Home :
Step 1: Cut down on their food supply
Step 2: Hit'em Where They Hide !
Step 3: Monitor, Monitor, Monitor !
Step 4: Dry Up Their Water Supply
Step 5: Keep Them Out !

This is going to be my Mission Possible Two. And that will be after my exam! Would you like to be my partner in this? Can you help me? Maybe you have some great cockroach-killing-ideas..

Come, let's play a part and contribute to the massacre of cockroaches!!!