乐在其中！

上周末，我独自一个人躲在厨房里‘摸’了一个下午… 初次尝试制作了truffles小点心！

多亏前一天让我幸运地挖到这个看似相当简单却又美味可口的食谱… 嗯对我这位初学者来说当然是最适合不过的啦!

于是， 兴致勃勃的我下了班后便立刻到了PH和NTUC采购所需的材料，准备在周六‘大展身手’！

还好步骤并不困难，按部就班地跟着食谱走，小点心便慢慢地成形了… 马上就让我秀一秀吧 ;)

看! 光秃秃的巧克力赤裸裸地摆在盘子上! 哈哈.. 还未完成哦…

Tada! 这就是制作好的truffles啦！

美吗？卖相还算可以吧？嘻嘻… 但巧克力有点太甜了，下次的味道可以再调得更合心意点儿。这总算是成功了一半吧 :D 看着这些亲手制作的可爱小点心，美美的摆在盘子上，放进嘴里甜甜的，心里也是甜滋滋的.. 这就是我喜爱制作小点心的原因… 这种小小的满足感就足够了:D

天啊…

绵绵细雨真美丽… 小雨小得凉爽又可爱… 阵雨来地快去得也快… 大雨？嗯… 我可不爱！

还记得刚过去的圣诞节前夕已持续地下了好几天的豪雨… 当时的心情真是完全被雨水给浇湿了…

天气时好时坏，大雨一下变小.. 另一会儿又变大… 这种变化不测的天气让我心情糟透了！也许是我运气太‘好’了吧.. 十次八次一出门就会遇上这种大雨，总是忍不住在心中大声地呐喊：‘不- 是- 吧？？！……’

*叹气*

而我那把小雨伞(在这种大雨)呢, 也只够遮遮头顶吧… 身体都被雨水喷得湿淋淋的，也顺便泡了几百次的脚…
想走快点儿.. 却又害怕跌个四脚朝天，所以，就只能缩在雨伞下小心翼翼地爬回家啰。
每天上班下班都是这样，怎能不sian呢？

请问：水究竟都从哪里来啊？？？

即使是不下雨的时候，天空也总是灰灰、暗暗、淡淡的，东西也阴阴，潮湿潮湿的… 连续几天下去，想要提起劲来都难。奇怪的是还开始想念起热情温暖的太阳，还有毛巾被阳光晒干的香味… 拜托拜托，这场大雨还要下多久？

好不容易，天气在圣诞节后终于转晴… 才刚松了一口气，怎么这几天老天爷又开始下起一场场的大雨呢？

嗯! 这次，我可不要唉声叹气了。大概是习惯这种天气了吧 (见多就不怪了啰！哈哈)..

新的一年里充满着许多好心情，我可不容许任何东西来影响我的心情哦！

那就让我们耐心期盼下一个天晴的来临吧！记得要保持微笑喔！:)

抉择 : 放弃是要走更远的路…

在莱佛士酒店大厅参于了这么多年的圣诞大合唱，去年，也就是2006年的圣诞节… 可以说是我最享受的一次吧。

初院毕业的一年后，我又再度和合唱团挂上了勾… 这一路走过来，四年的时间说长不长，说短不短。这段期间的磨练多少教会了我一些表演的技巧，而让我渐渐的学会如何更享受表演的感觉。

和志同道合的朋友分享同一个舞台是一种非常美妙的感觉…再加上对歌唱的热忱，当初才会又回到合唱团的世界… 也才会不契不舍地坚持到今天。

大伙儿都是秉持着一份莫名的坚持、一颗忠于音乐的心，每个星期都聚在一块儿… 风雨不改…为的，只是想追求自己最钟爱的东西。

美妙的歌声… 就这样陪伴我渡过过去的每一个礼拜六…
而在圣诞佳节期间便会到各大地方演唱圣诞歌…并且在圣诞节的那一天相约在莱佛士酒店大厅参于维多利亚的圣诞大合唱…

一年一年地过，这一切似乎已不知不觉地变成了一种习惯… 它，也成了我生命里不可缺少的一部分。我也曾经说过希望这一切都不会变…

也许… 这世界唯一不会变的就是 <改变> 吧… 告别了圣诞节，告别了2006年，我也终于要跟 <合唱团> 这个熟悉的世界挥挥手了…

这不是巧合，也绝对不是个冲动的决定… 其实，我已经在这个十字路口徘徊相当久了…

一些开始看起来似乎是小问题的东西，随着时间的累积让我看清楚一些事情…

曾经给过自己时间试着去应付，可是到了最后才领悟到 - 就算把油和水倒在同样一个杯子里， 它们也不会融在一块儿 - 的道理。水… 并不快乐。它们的不同为何不能被接受？水… 不解。

当初只是纯粹想利用自己的时间来做自己喜欢做的事情… 可是现实的问题还是浮现了…
久而久之，我发现自己只不过是在原地踏步… 我开始怀疑自己还有任何突破自我的可能吗…
面临这一次残酷的瓶颈，我是否应该为自己做做别的打算呢？

虽然种种原因让我产生了想要离开的念头，可是自己又不想放弃这一份热忱… 执着与矛盾的心情让我犹豫了很久…

一番心理挣扎后，我才明白对我而言，什么才是最重要的。所以我终于做了这个最后的决定。因此… 去年圣诞节的表演谢幕也同时为自己这四年的路程画下了一个完美的句点…

我很开心自己可以在还有所控制能力的范围内做我能做的，因为我只想忠于自己，做回我自己。
也希望在未来的某一天，自己还能够潇洒地回头望，并且深信当初做的决定是最对的！

祝福我可以找到一个真正属于自己的舞台，重拾自信心，在新的一年里重新出发！祝福你哦！

Merry Christmas

I just wanna take this space to say my thank yous to those who have showered gifts of sweetness and kindness this joyous season…to warm this lil’ heart of mine :)

CHRISTMAS CARDS!
Front left:
This is the 3rd I’ve received from Yokie for my years in VC so far. Each year just gets better! ‘Stead of expressing thoughts in words, this handmade card says it all in itself...
The front carries my name, very nicely and subtlely written on a shiny white surface, with a dainty lil’ crystal hanging by the side to complete the girly, christmasy feel.
Trevor, the creator, signs off on the inside.
What a marvelous piece of art. You never fail to wow~ me with your creations..
Thanks, Yokie!

Back:
A lovely Forever Friends card from Mike and Dawn.Y
A personal message, painstakingly penned down from the both of them, to me.
Thanks, Mike and Dawn!

Front right:
This card came very much as a pleasant surprise.. well in advance of Christmas Day.
From someone whom we’ve missed for a couple of months since our Xiamen trip..
It’s really sweet of her to remember all of us back here.. just check out the envelope, it’s all hand-drawn and personalised.. That’s me, see it? And I totally love the girly design on the cover.. red, gold and shimmer just makes a perfect match!
Thanks, Jiayun!

CANDY!
Hehe.. I thought I was seeing things too when I first saw this.. Yes that’s CANDY, absolutely! Aka the GOBSTOPPER! And all the way from… CHARLIE’S CHOCOLATE FACTORY, Canada! Isn’t that cool!
Can’t bite it.. it goes ‘KWANGGG’ when I put it on my marble table, so you can imagine how hard it is. No way am I gonna lick this too by the way.. but I simply love it!!
I’ve placed a hersheys by the side just so to contrast the size of it. ;p It’s hardcore candy (I doubt it’s hollow, coz it’s so heavy) that can seriously kill~ *lol* There’s no other that can be cool-er than this gobstopper.. Charlie’s Choc Factory is my all-time fav! Thanks, Graec!

COOKIES!
Can you believe all these are made by a guy? All home-baked and nicely packed! Such a sweet surprise he has thrown us this christmas..
Thanks, Joel!

CHOCOLATE!

SUPER MEGA Santa chocolate from Mezza9!! Woohoo~~
Thanks, Jim!

TSHIRT!
Dawn.S got this from Bangkok.. and there’s a personalised gift for everyone.
Thanks, Dawn!

PRESENTS!
Nicely wrapped up presents from Daisy and Lily..
Thank You!

I’d also like to specially dedicate this to the guests at Hyatt on Christmas Day too, especially at Mezza9. Thanks for being such a sporting audience.. this was my first time receiving such enthusiastic encore cheers from the floor for more christmas carols. It just makes our caroling experience more worthwhile and fulfilling, to know that you enjoy listening to us sing. It’s the best gift you could give us. Thank You :)

And if you’re reading this.. thank you too.. for thinking of me and checking back on my blog even though I haven’t been updating it for the longest time..
And that you care.

Thank You~

Merry christmas everyone.. I hope you have had a wonderful time and enjoyed yourself, yes I did.

And here’s counting down to an even better year ahead… A MILLION CHEERS!

Victoria Chorale Shines in World Choir Games 2006

I was listening to our WCG live recordings on my iPod today.
Plugging my earphones into my ears and shutting myself out from the outside world.
And all I could hear, were the voices of VC resounding in my ears...
It was such a pleasure.

Listening to the recordings brought back many wonderful memories. It really doesn’t feel like everything has been over for more than a month already…

As the tracks were all jumbled up in my playlist, I carefully selected and played the songs in the exact sequence of our competition in Xiamen.
This moment I realised.. that all the images, sounds, and emotions, are still very fresh in my mind.

Surge. Not one of our favourites, but we managed to triumph over it.
We made it - VC made a simple song come alive.

Tu Es. Our favourite baby for Sacra!
For some reason, we sing it every other practice, until it got alil’ boring. But it’s ok, we like it nonetheless.
This song taught me marcato. With all the drilling, I think I’ll always remember what marcato means.
Gates of hell. Romance? Nope!

Tenebrae. I should say, no other song I’ve sang has moved me like this one has.
The music is just incredible.
It’s a pity we neglected it this time round. Somehow it’s like the little imperfection in our entire Sacra set. But we made up for it, with...

Stabat. Our worst fear for Sacra, naturally.
Powerful, but a tough challenge.
The song is almost 10 minutes long, I had wondered how much stamina we needed to sustain it to the end…
Gasp for air. Drop jaw. Whatever we had to do, VC pulled it through.

Stabat was sensational. I felt the magic again as I listened through our live recording..

The day before the results ceremony, I remembered looking into the mirror in my hotel room and fantasizing about how nice it would be if we won the Sacra category…
Having come all the way here, this would be the best thing we could ever have for this competition.
But at the back of my mind, I knew I could only dream but dared not expect.

26 July morning. Everyone were in high spirits, it really feels good to be looking forward to something, together.
As we sang National Day songs at the top of our voices at the venue lobby, we sang to the world, telling everyone we are here for Singapore. It’s a strong sense of identity and pride we shared for our nation that touches all our hearts.

Finally… when the WCG anthem roared, VC knew we won.
~Victoria Chorale won the champion for the Musica Sacra category~

It was an extremely emotional moment for all of us. Tears of joy and disbelief. Cries and laughter.

The Singapore flag was raised, everyone present stood up as the Singapore national anthem sounded through the hall.
The world witnessed Singapore’s victory and our presence in the choir scene. We sang our anthem at the top of our lungs, and we cheered to celebrate our victory.

It’s a dream come true. And it’s indeed too good to be true. All that we had put in for this competition finally proved to be worthwhile.

VC won 2 gold medals and a champion trophy in World Choir Games 2006.
We have done Singapore proud, and we hope she is proud of us too.

Looking back, VC had been through ups and downs for this competition in the past 7 months. But this adds much more value to our hard-to-come-by victory…

I will never forget how every single one of us tried to make a conscious effort to remember to drop our jaws in order to achieve the kind of sound required for sacred music. We knew we were not born to have what it takes, but we will do whatever it takes to make it happen. And we’ve proven to ourselves that we can. And we did.

VC spirit came alive once again, and it came so strongly this time. All that we did was not for our personal glory, but for VC.

I feel lucky and blessed.
Thank you for giving us this miracle, and giving me this opportunity to be a part of it.
This experience will always be with me no matter what comes after this…

Singapore - A City of Samaritans

My fall was totally unfortunate.

But it is also because of an unfortunate event that I count myself fortunate;

Fortunate - to be on the receiving end of acts of goodwill from many kind people whom I’ve met;

Fortunate - to have a rare chance to see the compassionate side of folks in Singapore.

Remember Mr Samaritan the day I fell?
Frankly, if I were him I would have tried to walk off (discretely).
Why? I have had someone fell right in front of me before and I was so stunned I didn’t know how to react…
But he took the initiative to offer help (and risked missing his bus ;P)… THANKS~

And not forgetting the bus driver on that same day..
He could have driven off without me too (who knows how long I’ll take to get my butt up, and whether I’ll still be taking his bus?)
But he chose to wait on.
This is what I call ‘a small act of kindness goes a long way’… THANKS~

And here’s more…

One week later, on the day that I went for my appointment with the specialist (yes..that was the ONLY day I stepped out of my house since 8 Aug…booooo)

I had called for a cab, and the moment I settled down in the taxi I was greeted with a warm ‘Morning!’ from the cab driver.

Wwoh… when was the last time I’ve had a cab driver greet me (with such enthusiasm)? And without me doing it first too?

It really came as a pleasant surprise. I happily greeted the cab driver back and needless to say, the rest of journey was a smooth one. His attitude was great~ I could sense his cheerfulness even when his face was hidden behind his sunglasses.

A smile speaks a thousand words, he certainly helped kick off a good start to my day :)

After seeing the doc at TTSH, I had to collect medicine at the pharmacy and as expected, there was a long queue. While waiting, I saw a familiar face walking towards me… It took a while for me to recall her name.. Ah yes, Meifen!

We acknowledged each other as we were schoolmates from the same secondary school, but we’ve only had a few brief exchanges before. She was working there and without saying a second word, she offered to help me ‘jump queue’.

So it took me only 5 mins (‘stead of 15-20mins at least) for my name to be called! Yet another pleasant surprise for the day.. I really wasn’t expecting her to do me (and my mum too) this favour. It was very nice of her… Thank You :)

Over lunch at the foodcourt, we shared a table with a couple who sat opposite us.

There were some uncleared trays on the table and when they saw my mum approaching with a tray full of food, they immediately pulled the dirty tray over to their side so that my mum could put down hers.

I told the lady it’s fine we have enough space, and the lady replied with a smile, ‘It’s ok, we’re leaving already’.
It was very thoughtful of them, we smiled back to express our thanks.

After we’re done, mum flagged a cab to head for home. I was surprised when I saw the driver hurriedly stretch to the back seat to open the door for us (prolly coz he saw me on crutches).
So nice right…

On the journey back, he asked about my condition and that reminded him of his daughter who recently fell down while playing on her roller shoes. She had injured her spine and I could tell he was very worried as his daughter is only 8 years old, and spine injury is no play-play business.

When we arrived home, he cautioned me to be careful so my mum will not have to worry about me.
Wei2 ren2 fu4 mu4 xin1 ah….
It was very nice of him to show concern about my injury, and I would like to wish her daughter speedy recovery too!

This day was a day filled with pleasant surprises and it really feels good at the end of the day to have met all these samaritans.

What they have done could be a small effort on their part that seems insigificant, but what I have received was at least 10 times more.


We have to remind ourselves that many a times, it’s the thought that matters.
It’s the little gestures that really mean - A LOT.

Perhaps if we can learn to give more, and expect less from the people around us - be it your loved ones, someone whom you are not very familiar with, or just a stranger - everyday can be a G-R-E-A-T day =D

OUCH!

No no… This entry was supposed to be some good news that I’ve been looking forward to share since weeks ago.. But because of an unfortunate twist of events I’ll have to leave that till later..

For now, here’s a report on that fateful night of national day eve.

I fell down, for some strange reason.
At the busstop opposite YIH (NUS folks will know which one I’m talking abt).

I was going down the flight of steps when I saw my bus approaching…
*PLOP*
I landed on my butt the next second.

There was no balancing act or what crap. It all happened so fast I only realised I had fallen when I found myself sitting on the steps..

For a few seconds I was sunken in a state of shock, until I heard a voice that triggered my senses,
“Are you ok??”
Erm…
I tried twitching my right foot to see if there was any pain at all.
OUCH.
Okay.. as I had expected..
I didn’t wanna try bending my elbow. So I turned my arm around to check.
To my horror, I saw an abnormal bump on my elbow.
Shucks.. what’s that? Is that my bone?!?
I almost went weak in my knees..

To save myself from embarrassment, I replied Mr Samaritan, “Ya ya I’m ok” (when in fact I’m not), hoping that he would leave me alone to let me think about what I should do next.
The next thing I realised the bus was still there waiting for me!
(Btw I owe both Mr Samaritan and the bus driver a Thank You coz I was too seh to thank them that day.)

Barely recovering from the trauma, I hurriedly made my way up the bus, somehow.
On the bus journey home, I was silently groaning in pain. I’m not sure where the pain was coming from, it was just all over.
I was terrified.
I didn’t know how bad the injuries were, and I didn’t dare to look.
Yes I’m such a weakling.

Finally I got down the bus, Sis was there to pick me up from the busstop.
I was so happy to see her, I cried.

Luckily for me, the bump at my elbow was only due to the sudden impact of the fall (yes it’s not my bone.. haha I’m really good at scaring myself) and it had subsided by the time I reached home. After putting down my stuff, my family accompanied me to TTSH.

I did an Xray and Miss Doc found a small chip (or is it a crack) in my ankle bone. She advised me to see a specialist one week later and meanwhile to prevent it from worsening, here is the present I got for National Day…


Elephant foot :(

And because of the thick bandage (it’s not a cast, btw), I had to be put on this…


The first time in my life (and I had to pay $30 for it…)

Seriously, I had never expect to spend my National Day like this…

And my plans all went down the drain… my Siglap performance @ VCH yesterday, chill-out time at Dawn’s place last night, my intended shopping spree this weekend.. and missing work (I feel quite bad about this coz I barely just came back to office for work after my WCG trip and now I’m on one week MC..)
And most importantly, my M-O-B-I-L-I-T-Y for one whole week.

It isn’t a pleasant experience, making my family members run around to send me to hospital that night and coming back only at 2am when they had to wake up early the next morning (even though it’s a public holiday) and make accommodattions now that I have problems moving about.. thank you so much, papa, mama n sis :)

I’m just resting as much as I can now so that I’ll be well again very soon… =D

Good News to Share *-*

Check this out --> I’VE GOT A NEW JOB!!!

Hooray!!
Yay….yyy……yyeeee………EEEE!
Yay!

I count myself lucky cuz there could have been more bumps and hiccups along the way…
Frankly, I was expecting worse…
And I was prepared for more disappointment…
But I’m so glad things went smoothly for me.

I am thankful - for being given a chance, for the luck, and everything I am blessed with today.
From my Sis’s friend who suggested this assignment, to my Sis who encouraged me, to the person who read my CV and shortlisted me for interview, to the people at the interview panel who eventually granted me this opportunity, and to my 2 honourable referees – SC and bell.
For everything, and to everybody, ~THANK YOU~

During the early stages, I was pretty overwhelmed by just the anticipation and thrill of waiting for news.
So when they finally got back to me, I was so happy I couldn’t control my excitement, so I found myself doing mini star-jumps in the toilet cubicle coz that was the only discreet place in my office where I could show it.

As things began to gradually fall in place, the excitement settled down as relief.
Relieved to know that I wouldn’t have to become jobless and stay income-less for god-knows-how-long.
Relieved to know that I would be pardoned from all the stress and worries that comes with the uncertainties of being an unemployed.
Relieved to know that I can stop my job search for now (mm.. actually I haven’t really begun.. but that’s besides the point ;P)…

And for now, it’s the shiok feeling!
Shiok that now I can choose to leave, rather than they telling me to!
Shiok to know that power lies in my own hands, that I am finally having some control over things (after going through a period where I felt I was like a little paper boat that was carried to wherever the strong waves brought me to)!
Shiok that I can finally be a permanent staff, and not a segregated CONTRACT staff, and be entitled to all that I deserve!!

(Man, I think I sound like I’m a totally displeased and unhappy worker at my current job. Haha.. that’s obviously not entirely true, but I’m glad that I’m moving on…)

Thanks for giving me a good start, and I will be looking forward to my first day of work!

Last but not least, I must thank my dearies...

Thanks for sharing this piece of good news with me and for the encouraging messages you sent. It really warms my heart that you care a lot and it means so much to me.. I love you guys! :D

I am a Sagittarius

The last thing I’d probably want is obsession over horoscope stuff and letting it dictate the way you live your life. But I do agree it’s pretty interesting to read up more about it occasionally.. through emails or books.. Partly for general knowledge (when you may discover a side of you that you have never been consciously aware of) or rather for pleasure sake, because more often than not you find them describing the total opposite of who you are.. lol.

If you’ll like to know more about what kinda person I really am.. you’re cordially invited to read on the rest of this entry!

You as a woman:
- You tend to dream some big dreams, and sometimes, reality never hits you.
(Ha…sometimes I'm find myself happily day-dreaming away in a world of my own, indulging in the unreality when one day I become a mega popstar and I am singing to a HUGE crowd of crazy fans... and getting all the recognition I deserve for my singing talent. Hahaha. Isn’t day-dreaming a good therapy for gut-less people like me? ;p)

- You are a trusting child at heart.
(Gullible you mean? Hehe…
So is this good or bad?
Well, but at least this is one thing about me that I wouldn’t wanna change.)

Your love sign: Pisces
(This is more for my own info actually.. :P)

One must know the rules when dealing with Sagittarius. (Ahh..this is for you..)
What you should do:
- Be all ears. The Sagittarian needs to know that there is a shoulder to cry on, when he needs it.
(Sidetrack abit, I think a lot of times communication is just about listening to what the other person has to say.. and this is something that many of us ought to consciously work on all the time.
More often than not we talk more than we listen and I’m guilty of that myself too.
It’ll be wonderful if everyone can develop good listening behaviours, be it towards your family members, your friends or your partner coz it’s one of the best ways to show that you’re concerned..)

What you should not do:
- The Sagittarian hates to hear he is wrong, so reserve your judgment.
(Honestly speaking I can get pretty impatient and sensitive when I get criticisms in my face. It’s in the first 180 seconds when every word of kind advice to me all seems like insensitive criticism before everything starts to sink in. I think my mum and sis can let you in on this one.. I always annoy them by over-reacting.. haha.
Yup zhong1 yan2 ni4 er3, I sure wanna improve on this.. coz after all the advice is for my own good.)

Lucky Day:
- Waltz your way through work on Wednesday.
(Wednesdays’ lunchtime are a good time to stop and look at how far we have gone for the week, because…
We're exactly halfway through the work week already! Isn’t that something to look forward to?
It’s always a great source of motivation for me to work through the rest of the week.
Hmm.. or will you prefer to salsa or jazzit through? :D)

Careers and you:
- You like to have fun, smiling and laughing with your colleagues and feeling as if Lady Luck is on your side.

Money and you:
- You are the luckiest Sign of the Zodiac. You love to plan ahead. It's a favourite pastime, since you always see the bright side of things.
- You never worry about money either, since that won't make for more.
(Here I go again with my philosophy... Money is but a means, not an end. Oh.. and I learnt something new recently too.. the difference between wealth and rich. You can be wealthy without being rich!)

Why Must We Work

A 6-month contract became a 1-year contract.
Now a 1-year contract’s gonna become a 1.16666666667 year contract… as far as I know.
Ok. I mean 1 year & 2 months++.. and then? VA-MOOSE.

I used to dream about how nice it’ll be if I could just stay here for good…

If only…
I can work here for the rest of my life, until one day when I can finally be a tai-tai and kiao kar at home.. woohoo!!
Then no need to update my stoopid resume…
no need to work on my lousy PR skills…
no need to por2 employers until their heads swell, or try so hard to convince them how desirable a worker I am… hello?
and no need to beg on my knees about how much I need them to gimme a job..blah blah blah.
As if they are the one to tell me how much I am worth lor?! Please!

If only…
I can stay, and I will be spared from all these stupid nonsense! YAY!!!

If only…
If only……

Hai… how often does reality ever go my way anyway?
So, I am not going to stay. Not even for another year. I’m gonna be outa here in less than 6 months..
In short, I am UNWANTED.
And this is the message I’m getting in my face: “You are no longer needed so Pls-Get-Out.”
Ghee. How kind of you.

Fine, I thought about it already.. Hm I shall try to salvage the situation by attempting to make it look like I chose to leave on my own accord rather than they telling me to. Yea~~
And I pray that lady luck will bless me with a right opportunity at the right time..pleassssse?
But maybe it’s time too I start doing something about it ‘stead of waiting for somethin to drop from the sky. I wish.

Maybe I should go work in a bank.. I’m an Economics major so this seems just the right place to go. Good money, leave, incentives.. “good” working hours too…
But deep down I think it’s the last place I would choose to be in for 5 days a week and at least 8 hours a day…NNOOOOOO….

Well, a wedding planner looks like a nice job to be in after I watched Jacelyn Tay in her last drama serial.. but on second thought I think there’s a higher chance that I ruin people’s big day than make it and I will just freeeak out.

Actually my requirements are really simple you know, I can just list them out here.
If an agent asks me what I’m looking for, can I tell her, “Fairly decent pay (my expectations are not that high), fixed working hours, no need to OT too often, and no need to work on weekends” ?

Coffee And Life

Sometimes I have thoughts that I would like to share… but I have so much trouble putting
them down in words.. L-I-K-E T-H-I-S.
So I’m not too good at expressing myself, this I know it too well. And in english, trust me, it
can get pretty frustrating for me at times.
No matter how hard I try to twist and turn the words around or tear them all up into pieces..
it’s just not what I want to put across!
But now I’m glad to have found a good solution to it.

Why don’t I let someone else do the story-telling instead? *PHEW*

I got this from an email that a friend sent to me :) And I kinda like the story.
So I’ll leave you now to read on what this guy has to tell you...
(It’s a short one, but it’s really sweet as well. Enjoy!)

“
A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old
university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work
and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned
with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal,
some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves
to hot coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: “If you noticed,
all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones.
While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of
your problems and stress.

“What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the
best cups and were eyeing each other's cups. "Now if life is coffee, then the jobs, money
and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the
quality of Life doesn't change. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to
enjoy the coffee in it."

So, don't let the cups drive you... enjoy the coffee instead!
“

I am Small

It was past mid-afternoon. I finally finished up two long lists of requests that were left pending in my inbox since yesterday.

Phew.

Time for a break! My throat had already gotten quite dry by then. I decided to have a break and take a sip of water.

I made my way to the dry pantry, took out a styrofoam cup and half- stoned while waiting for the water cooler to fill my cup full.

Done.

I released my finger from the cooler button, held my cup carefully in my hand and was about to turn and head straight back to my seat.

But today, for one reason or another, I paused, and decided to stay here a while longer.

I walked towards the high window at the side of the pantry, and started to observe the view outside from 19 storeys high.

The sky was dark, it looked like it was gonna rain. But the scenery was just beautiful.
Though there were only man-made structures and roads, they formed a complete picture.
A picture that I had never stopped to appreciate until today.

Looking down, the outline of the curvy roads created an interesting pattern. It had never appeared to me in this way when I cross them everyday.

I saw a superbus turn at the junction. It looked as though it was made of paper. And the cars that were cruising smoothly along the roads, they looked like little toy cars.
From this distance, frankly speaking a proton or a BMW doesn’t make a difference anymore. They are just- cars. Moving ones that actually looked quite cute.

For a second, I felt like I was a tall giant. My legs seem to stretch all the way to the ground from where I was- 19th storeys high.
I was at the top, over all those miniature things at my feet, and there I was looking down at them.

Then right across was a tall building that was undergoing construction. I detected some small movements at the top of it, and realised they are construction workers.
Ghee. But they look really puney. They look just like the size of my finger!

So… that makes me a puney as well, isn’t it??
Okay, so I am not some tall giant that I had imagined myself to be. I am only THIS big.
………

(I recall the last time that I sat in a flight. I was peering out of the window and saw another plane a distance away. Probably ‘a distance’ then was equivalent to thousands of kilometres.

I stared at the plane real hard for almost 5 mins… I couldn’t believe how the almighty SIA plane that I always admire at the airport suddenly appeared like a toy flying model.
It is so tiny amidst the towering clouds. SO TINY, it doesn’t look real at all…

There I was, only one out of the hundreds of people contained in this ‘tiny’ piece of metal. That made me realise how small I was- as small as a speck of dust.)

Small as I am, I am happy being small.
In being small, we can be big.

Small things may appear insignificant, but its value we tend to overlook if we only look at them from a single perspective.
Similarly, big things may appear big, but it might just be a fallacy.

In appreciating small things, I believe that small things become big.
It doesn’t cost us much, but what it gives back may well be much more than we expect.

Sometimes I question myself: should I try to become big? But I guess this is not what I am meant to be.

I will always be on the path towards learning to take pride in being myself. Take pride in being small because it is all these small things that make up who I am.

At the end of the day, it is not about how many requests I have processed, how many As I have scored, or how much money I have earned.

I would rather wish that it is about how many smiles I have brought to the people around me, and what kind of a person people remember Shan as (^-^)

~ International Women's Day ~

Does that ring a bell? This day has never existed in my calendar anyway by the way.

Last weekend I was reading about it in the papers. INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY. Oh ok.

Top 20 women to look out for...
Oh Wow.
Manager at age 32 with 2 kids.
WoW...
Young Managing Director of so and so MNC...
WOW.
wow wow.......
and the list goes on..

So. Where do I see myself in the next 5-10 years?
Gabra gabra gabra....
Erm... Hmm.... Eh... Hehe.
I DUNO.

You know, I’m really curious how these women can manage their super hectic work schedules and balance their family life at the same time? And why they seem to be able to kick it all so darn well! These people I call them the true creators of time..amazing people. I can never beat them to that I know, so I really admire those career women out there. Here’s a pat on the back!

I admit that I am not the sort who can survive this kind of lifestyle. Though there’s no farm, no open grasslands and no hilly areas in a busy city like Singapore, but amidst all the rush I would still love to have time for strolls and take my own sweet time to enjoy my meals and breathe the fresh air. I can't imagine being on hot heels every other minute and not afford to stop and take a breath. Or perhaps stone? If I can, I would prefer to take things slow, observe all the small things around me that I would have missed if I were rushing around like a busy bee my whole life.

That said, there is one thing that I strongly believe in - that everyone seeks a different path in life, as we are all here for a different purpose.

It's hard to be making a statement like this and live up to it when you are constantly faced with all the peer/societal pressure and what not. Individual success is measured solely on social/financial status and you see it so clearly right in our newspaper headlines.

So it seems striving for wealth and status is just the right thing to do and probably also the only thing that is worth our entire lifetime – every single one of us. But it’s so not true!
And the judgement: If you don't get there, you're simply OFF TRACK. Fullstop.
So this is all but a practical, materialistic world we live in..
*$$$ flashes...*

I think otherwise. Frankly speaking, I don't see myself ever heading anywhere near where all these people are going. Put simply, money is all but a means.

I may be seriously off track based on the criteria the society has set - and yes that's my own choice too - but I am glad to say I may be well on track on my own agenda! Working my time on things that I enjoy and care most is all I ever want. I am contented leading a simple yet fulfilling life. It may not bring me lots of material luxuries but it's ok. For goodness, who would let your own stomach go hungry? And I still want my share of spa indulgences once in a while to pamper myself a fair bit too!

At the end of the day, my principles are grounded on this word - 'NET'. How much comes in, that much goes out. So net, everyone is not that much different either! It's just mind tricks you know, and what you choose to see and believe in.

Dong Dong Dong Ciang!

Yoohoo.. ah there.. I almost forgot I have a blog. Whops. It's high time for some updates..

Quick look at my calendar. CNY has passed, Valentine's Day's over. And February is almost coming to an end.
If you haven't realised, we're already one-sixth through the 'new' year already.. no longer new it is.
Ghee. Isn't that fast or what?? Ok backdate to Jan for now..the rest I’ll probably leave till next time.

Now what about Chinese New Year.. it does hold a different - and deeper - meaning to me now, especially after I've stepped into the working world. Attitudes and perspectives change.
I'm glad it did.

New Year's Eve was spent doing some last minute spring cleaning at home.
I've come to realise how effort- and time-consuming it is just to tidy up one small tiny corner of the house, so you can imagine how much work it takes to cleanup the WHOLE house.
I did some tidying up and sweeping..not much compared to mom but I was already better than last year!

At the end of the day, it is a good thing to know that I feel motivated to help out the house bit by bit.. feels like I've grown up and it comes with a greater responsibility for this home and I want to do more for my family.
Only thing is I know myself too well - I'm a lazy pig and I can't help it. But! I will strive to improve from now on!

In the past, ang paos during chinese new year probably meant a lot because red packet=lots more $$$, but I seemed to have grown out of it.
Now that I'm working, ang pao is more like a 'bonus', and so the pinch doesn't come that much.
But food still is! That explains why I got a really bad cold and cough that lasted me for one full week after CNY ended... :-

I shall skip the details here, but the one most important thing about Chinese New Year to me is the way it reinforces our family values. Mom prepares the stuff and I will get all excited to help decorate our living room. I enjoy the process, and the end - seeing all the red and goldie stuff hanging around the place, it really brings out the cheery festive mood right in our own house.. I always like things the traditional way :)

There it’s about having dinner together, sitting at the table together and chatting away about anything under the sun. Whatever frustrations or unhappiness in the past does not matter anymore coz everyone’s just together as one family and you knowing that pa, ma and siblings are there for you. It’s this genuine feeling of content, security and happiness. Smiles and laughter. Blessed to be together.
I enjoy it and I truly appreciate the simplicity of going back to the basics sometimes. This badly needs to be reinforced especially in trying times in our daily life, and I’m glad Chinese New Year was a chance to discover this feeling all over again.

Looking Back at 2005

2005 was a big turning point for a girl like me, who has spent all her life in school - all well protected and sheltered from the outside world, - where possibly the scariest thing I had ever been through was.. ermm, exams?

My final lap of exams ended in May. I should be relieved. But alas, I realised it was at this same time that I was to be thrown into the huge pool and left to survive on my own. I was no longer a part of NUS.. there was no “next default” place that I was told to head to.. I belonged no where then. It was all up to me - and just me alone - to find the way to this “next” place.

Finding it was only the beginning. There were many things to observe, to be aware of, and to learn along the way. Uncertainty was perhaps the most daunting thing about life now. I had no idea what I want and can do. I wasn’t even sure if I was heading in the right direction.

I fear making mistakes along the way, till now I still am. But I have also learnt in the past half a year that making mistakes is inevitable and I shouldn’t condemn it as a bad thing. Cuz it was through making mistakes that I learnt the right thing.

Working life meant the need to develop greater self-independence. I find myself needing to make decisions more often now, and these are much bigger decisions in life. I tend to worry.. worry that I do not make the best decision I could. But I later realised that this wasn’t an effective way to handle it at all.

I know I am old enough now to analyse and take responsibility for my own decisions. I will respect my own reasons and take pride in my decision no matter how others view it, because ultimately it is about myself.
Now.. this is gonna be real hard I know, but I will really try to work on it this year!

Working brings along spending power. Oh yes, this is one aspect of working that calls for wisdom and some adapting to in order to take it well. From a poor student to a working individual with some ability to support myself, my list of wants started to grow at a ridiculous speed. I realised there were so many things lacking in my possession and I was dying to get EVERY one of them all at once. I couldn’t wait, I was just plain impatient, I see.

I was lucky that I still managed to control my expenses somehow, but it was really a tough struggle especially for the first 4 months of working. My material desires were getting out of hand, and I just wasn’t that happy at the end of the day because my wants were not satisfied. There was just a craving for more more more..

But boy, I’m glad the bell-curve principle applies here as well - what goes up must come down! Towards the end of last year, things were going downhill..thankfully! I no longer go, “OH I want this, OH I want that too!!” when I go shopping and see pretty things..mm not good. Instead of having the strong desire to buy lots of new things, I would acknowledge that it is nice, but am also aware that I did not need it. No more excessive temptations, no more struggles best of all!

Probably that’s because I have already gotten most of the things I needed by then. And plus the gifts that I received for birthday & christmas, I felt that I had EVERYTHING I wanted! For the first time, I felt this strong sense of content come from within. It is a really good feeling I must say, a feeling of adundance and being in control. Knowing that I appreciate the things I already have, I feel blessed, and rich too!

Year 2005 ended with a meaningful lesson of contentment, and I hope it will always be with me.