I ran across this picture/etching the other day in one of my memory boxes.. Hard to believe that not too long ago - my babies were babies.. One of the things I tell my girls is that a friend can last a short time or a life time - you just don't know but.... a sister is for a lifetime and if you are really lucky - she'll be your best friend.... So stop the fighting right now!!!!!
I have two (2) sisters - both of my sisters are older than me (eight and nine years) - growing up I think we all believed a friendship would be nearly impossible... I was the bratty little sister and well - they were grown up and out of the house before I finished elementary school... We basically grew up in different generations.... and in a way different parents too. My mom was sixteen (16) and then seventeen (17) when my sisters were born.. .. She was still a kid herself and now a mom - I think she and my dad had a very hard time raising two babies... I know my sisters had a much harder time in their youth than I did... by the time I was born - my mom was 25 and more mature as a parent... I don't think my sisters meant to resent me - when I was a kid - for the much easier way of life I was enjoying... but they did.... I knew they loved me.... but in a way I think they didn't like me much.... either.... I know it must have been hard on them to watch me get spoiled when they practically had nothing growing up.... of course I did not experience their lack of wants... so as a kid it was hard for me to understand...
When I became an adult .... a mom - I started developing relationships with my sisters... At first it was tough because of old resentments.... We were the text book definition of a dysfunctional family of an alcoholic parent (my dad). We grew up not really trusting or liking each other - things were said that should not have been.... assumptions were made that were false.. and many other complications... But we worked our way through the pain... through the resentments.. past and present...... We were sisters and we believed that bond alone is a good starting point for a friendship..
Today - one of my sisters - I am very close too.. She lives locally and we have the opportunity to spend a lot time together... We are together for every holiday and special occasion... I have always been involved in her daughters' lives as she is involved in my girls' lives... Our common goals, beliefs, and feelings are very much on the same page...... We have been through some very difficult times together and how we handled it made us stronger....
My other sister moved across the United States thirteen (13) years ago - shortly after my oldest daughter was born... I think in the past 13 years - we have seen each other less than a dozen times... Maintaining a close relationship via phone is difficult.... we tried for many years - but the distance and lack of seeing each other made our relationship hard to keep on track... Life is busy with kids and work... Maintaining any relationship is hard... it's not to say I don't love my sister - I love her very much... but unfortunately - I just don't know her anymore.. Distance is tough.... I would love it if she moved back... I would love to know my niece (her daughter).... I would love to spend Christmas together....
I will continue to tell my girls to be kind to each other.. to love one another... to try to keep resentment away... to try to keep assumptions from happening... to lift each other up... to have each others back... Because a sister is for a lifetime and if you are really lucky... she'll be your best friend.....
Love you Debbie and Tammy - God bless you both... sisters of mine..
Me, Tammy, and Debbie
