Every 15 Minutes - A Drunk Driver Kills

Bottom of post is a video created by a high school for this event - Worth the Watch

When I was in high school a good friend of mine killed someone....

My friend D had just turned 18 years old and he had been celebrating the New Year ringing into 1983 when he got behind the wheel of his car... D did not believe he was drunk - He was happy.. He was having a fun time until..... he lost control of his car and plowed into another car killing the driver... Six months later my dear sweet friend was in jail and he would remain there until well after his next birthday.... D was a good kid - A good kid who made a bad mistake... Today many many years later - he still feels the pain of that fatal night 29 years ago...

Several years ago my niece was asked to participate in a school event called Every 15 Minutes... As my sister was explaining to me what was going to happen - I could not help but cry... You see - my niece was going to "die" by a drunk driver - She would leave the school - No one would see her - and my sister had the most difficult task of all - writing her daughter's obituary... Although, it was make believe - just the thought of losing my beautiful talented and so very special niece was very hard to take..

Last week - my daughter's high school had their version of Every 15 Minutes - because my daughter is a sophomore she did not participate but many of her friends did and they told her how difficult it was not to cry....

The last couple of weeks I have been planning my daughter's Sweet Sixteen Party and I can't help but think that pretty soon she will behind the wheel of a car and she will most likely attend parties where there will be drinking and many friends will be driving (hopefully - she will never consider drinking and driving or riding with someone that is)... It's hard because kids (and many adults) think that they are good drivers when they are drunk or they may think that nothing bad is going to happen to them... It's a scary time as a parent... One of the things that I have told both of my girls - is that if they do drink at a party or if their ride is drinking - They have a free pass to call me regardless of the time and I will pick up whoever needs to be driven somewhere - no questions asked and no punishment given.... That doesn't mean I won't lecture or be leery the next time they go out... But I need to let them know that their safety is number 1 - Period... And I don't want them fearful of calling home..

A Video Interview With My 13 Year Old Daughter

So last week we were in the parking lot of Trader Joe's waiting for my other daughter to finish her appointment... We had a camera... we were bored.. And here you go...


It's so different to see her with dark brown hair... she went from this two weeks ago..



To This.... I think she is beautiful either way....

The Unpopular Mom....

Being the mother to hormonal teenagers makes me very unpopular... Mostly because it is very difficult to fool me... I wasn't born yesterday.. My daughter could have been me 30 years ago... She sounds like I did... Her passion is the same as mine was... And NOW I have a first hand experience of what MY mom was thinking... feeling.... so very long ago.... Mom, I am sorry - really - I am soooo sorry....

I am guessing that I will just have to suck up the fact that I am no longer their "hero".... I am no longer the one with all the answers... I have learned that due to my age... I "don't get it".. I have been replaced by the much wiser 15/16 year old... and you know what? I am so sick of it...

Can you tell that I am not in my normal upbeat state of mind??? Mothering a passionate, hormonal, and very impatient 15 year old is not much fun today....... So I will bestow the curse wish my mom bestowed upon me.... "I hope you have a daughter JUST like YOU" enough said!

I Have Become My Mother AND I Have Been Blessed With A Daughter Just Like Me....

**photo from Visual Photos -

My Hopes and Dreams For Nikki

My oldest daughter will be 15 this week.... She is an amazing kid... I have so many hopes and dreams for her... I want her to be happy... Make good friends... Enjoy her high school and college years... Meet a decent man (way after college) who will love her unconditionally... I want her to know she is worthy of love.. worthy of hope.... worthy of God's love and intentions for her life.... I want her to know and feel great deep love and joy... I want her to have so much more than I did... I think every mom out there - always wants more for their children... We want our kids not to make the same mistakes we did... We want to protect them... We want them to learn from our mistakes... But - I have learned the hard way..... No matter what I say.... No matter how many lectures I give... No matter how many times I discipline... No matter how much "good" advise I give - She will march to her own drummer... She will make her own mistakes..... She will NOT learn from mine..... She isn't me.....

I have to trust that my girl knows right from wrong... I have to trust that she will try to make the right decisions when I am not looking... I have to believe that she will not always bow down to peer pressure... I have to let her go.... I have to accept that God is in control and stop trying to take that control from Him.... I have to let her spread her independent wings... Let her make her own mistakes but be there to comfort her... I will praise her when she succeeds and overcomes life's obstacles.... I will pray for her everyday... I will be here when she needs me... And I will be here even if she doesn't... I'm her mom and there is nothing that would keep me from loving her... Nothing that will stop me from supporting her.... I will always be her biggest fan.... Her strongest supporter.... Her personal prayer warrior...

Have Faith - Miracles Can Just Happen....

What Faith Can Do Lyrics

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you're stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

I have faith that a miracle will happen in a young girl's life - You can be a part of that miracle. Come say "hi" to Haley - and if you can donate bone marrow - Please say "I want to donate!"
Thank you!

Social Hop - For A Cause..

She Could Be Your Daughter

This week I have posted a couple of blogs about my friend's daughter, Haley. Haley is 16 years old and she is suffering from a very rare bone marrow disease called Myelodysplasia. This disease affects less than 100 children a year... Haley's doctor has advised the family that she needs a bone marrow transplant and his goal is start the process in June. Unfortunately, the family is not a match! This is where I need you to get the word out...

Testing is as simple as a swabbing your mouth! Really it's that easy.....

Here is the FB page for Haley - Please like it and if you want to be tested - Please say "I want to be tested!" and I will forward you the information you need to help...

If you cannot donate bone marrow - You can donate money to help the family with the testing. Every dollar counts... The Paypal link is in the sidebar.

Above all else - Please lift Haley, her parents - Joe and Cathie and sister Ashley in your prayers.. We serve an amazing Father and He is in control - which I for one is very happy about....

Here are the blog posts telling Haley's story. Post 1 and Post 2 and Post 3

I would love it if you followed my Facebook page too - but if you only follow one please let it be Haley's....

A Letter To My Teenage Daughter

Dear Daughter of Mine,

The day you were born was the happiest day of my life... and every day since I have loved you more and more.... I really get a kick out of your laughter.. your quick wit... your loving heart to the less fortunate... Sometimes - I free that you may care "too" much at times... You want to save the world.. You want to take care of every needy person you encounter... You see others pain and you want to make it better... I admire that about you... But you become so very sad when you as a child don't have the resources to make a change today... Be patient sweetheart - Your time will come... I have no doubt that you will make a difference in this world.... The world is already a better place with you in it...

We are now in the middle of your "teenage" years.. I do have to say that you are a good kid with a big heart .. I know you have a difficult time understanding why I won't allow you more freedom. The freedom to date... The freedom to stay up real real late... The freedom to do what you want to do when you want to do it... The freedom to not ask permission... I also know that you believe me to be outdated.. Not aware of the world... How do I know this? I know this because I was once You..... You are so much like I was as a teen - it is pretty scary... Grandma - once told me that she wished I would have child just like me... and Grandma's wish was answered... You might be surprised by this... But I do "get" you.... I do understand you... And you may not believe this right now but I only want the Best Possible Life You Can Possibly Live. I want you to have it all!

I know you are in a hurry to grow up and as your mom - I have to help you stay on a steady pace.... There is so much for you to learn... to love.. to experience... When you rush to the finish line there are so many things that you can miss.. and I want you to experience all the joys your age can give you... So my sweet baby girl - breathe in.... Breathe out... Please trust that I do know what is best for you... I have no intention of holding you back when you are truly ready to fly....

To My Mom...

Dear Mom,

I am glad you are my mom... Since dad passed you and I have gotten so much closer... Not only are we a mother and daughter... We are friends... I love the special moments you and I have shared together... You inspire me to be a better person with your quick smile.. random texts... always positive attitude.. always forgiving heart.. never judging... You let me know that you are always there for me... Anytime... Anywhere.. I love that you "like" many of my statuses and/or comments on Face Book - this let's me know that you are thinking about me... loving me...

You amaze me... You have not had an easy life... The past several years have been especially hard for you... Taking care of dad in his final years here on Earth... Becoming diabetic, Your fractured bones (shame on Curves)... Working hard at your job... The loneliness of not having dad to talk to at night.... and now you are battling breast cancer... I am so sorry that you have had to go through all this... I am so sorry that I have not always been there for you... And in the middle of all this - You are more concerned with your kids... You have not once - felt sorry for yourself (most people would).. You have not once given up... You are a fighter... A true Lady...

Tomorrow you are going into surgery to remove your breasts... I am hopeful that by tomorrow night you will be completely cancer free... I want you to know that I am there for you... I will Always be there for you.. in person.. in spirit.. in thoughts.. and in prayers... You will fight this.. You will win... I have no doubt... I hope that your recovery will be speedy... and if it's not... You have your daughters... granddaughters.. friends to help you get by... And we want to be there with you.. We choose to be with you... You are NOT alone...

Thank you for being my mom... I love you....

Kelly

Mom and Dad - 55 years ago...

Think She's Comfortable?

My kid doing Home school.. Think she's comfortable?

My Baby Girl Turned 13!

Last Friday my baby entered the land of "Teendom" Yep she is 13 and I have no idea where the time went... Wasn't it yesterday when she came home from the hospital weighing in at 5 lbs 2 oz? I have to say - that it has and is a complete joy to be her mom.. I call her my Sunshine baby because from the time she was a newborn to now - she has always had a happy and joyful disposition... She is my snuggle buddy... She is the kid that always wants to be by my side.. Whether it is a quick trip to the market or sitting on the couch watching our favorite shows together...

For her birthday weekend - We had some fun...

On Friday she missed school and we went to the movies and saw Just Go With It - It was great - we laughed a lot - Preview below


After the movies we went to Chili's for lunch..


After Lunch we headed to the mall so she could get a couple of outfits... Her new favorite store is Wet Seal.. She got two pair of size 0 super skinny low rider jeans (have I ever worn a ZERO?)... This was hard for this mama bear... She is growing up too fast...

We continued to celebrate her birthday on Sunday.. I surprised her and took her to Goofy's Kitchen - this is a restaurant in the Disneyland Hotel where the guests can interact with different Disney characters...






After our dining experience - we headed over to Disneyland.. It was a very cold day and because of the 3-day weekend and the winter break back east - Disneyland was unusually busy... We still went on a few rides.... Indiana Jones, Buzz Lightyear, Jungle Cruise, The Haunted Mansion, The train, It's a Small World and Pirates of the Caribbean... (I enjoy looking for Jack Sparrow) We did stand in line for the Matterhorn only for it to breakdown before we got on... Would have hated being stuck on the ride for over 45 minutes like some were... We were lucky....







The coolest part of the day was that my niece who is a performer at Disneyland and California Adventure was able to get us VIP seats for the Fantasmic Show... We felt like Very Important People... sitting in our chairs in our private seating area... (wish I knew how to work my camera better.... All in All my new teenager had a good celebration... So did I... Happy Birthday - Sunshine Girl!

My Name Is Kelly And I Am A Control Freak!

My name is Kelly and I am a complete Control Freak.... There I said it!!!! Those who know me well will no doubt be nodding their heads in agreement.... But I do have to say that last night - God gave me a little kick... He wanted me to cool my jets.. Get over myself... My "controllingness" my new word and I like it was getting out of control and He wanted me to "look in the mirror"....

Yesterday was a bad day on the home school front... Because this on-line schooling is still new to my kid me the pacing (things that need to be completed by X day) was off.. My kid was having a hard time understanding an algebra equation - (there was no way I could help her...) She met with the teacher - understood it - did not take notes - then proceeded to forget how to solve the problem... Several hours were spent on her math and then she needed to complete several other quizzes/tests/assignments that are all due by today.... Poor thing she was frustrated... I was frustrated.. My control problem raised its very ugly head... SHE NEEDED TO CATCH UP... Instead of allowing her to go at her pace.. Instead of trusting her to try it on her own.. I got in the middle of it and pushed... I did not give her the chance to rise to the occasion herself.. Because of my control freak nature... I contributed to her levels of stress... and that is something that is NOT acceptable.... I need to back down... I need to stop... NOW!

While I was in the bathroom (come on - we all read while we wee) - There was book in the magazine rack called "What Does The Bible Say About...." I opened it - not looking for anything specific... I had a little time to.. well you know.. And the page I opened to said this: "Do you give others (relatives, friends, and co-workers) not only the responsibility but the needed authority to get the job done - even if it means seeing it done their way instead of yours?" This peaked my interest and I knew my answer to this question was undoubtedly "NO".. The book went on to tell me that Jesus had more reasons to avoid delegating - yet He sent out 70 workers with full appointment to preach and heal on His behalf.... In doing so, Jesus affirmed the often heard but less often practiced concept of people and their development as the most important task of a manager/mother/parent... Of course, He gave the 70 workers detailed instructions before He sent them off... But a study of His discipleship methods shows that He was just as concerned with their growth as He was that the task be accomplished a certain way... When the 70 workers returned - they returned "with joy" excited by their experiences.. They would never be the same....

I realized in that moment in the bathroom - that I was making her education.. her decisions.. her grades.. her tasks.. her everything.. I made them about me... I was making it personal.. I was trying to control her to be "perfect".... and God knows I am so far from perfect.... so why would I put that kind of pressure on my kid.... Okay - God.. I hear you....

The Camera and the Twelve Year Old

This is what happens when you leave a camera in the car with a 12 year old.... She cracks me up!!!! She forgot to delete them....

What Are Your Labels???

When I was in high school, designer labels were just hitting the fashion industry.... I remember all those silly commercials on TV - Gloria Vanderbilt with her hair tucked behind her ears selling her designer jeans... Sassoon jeans - they had a catchy song and girls parading around in their tight blue jeans... and who could forget that Brooke Shields Never let anything come between her and her Calvins??? In those days - those were the only labels I knew... Wanted.... Cared about.... I would babysit many weekends to save enough to buy one pair of $50 too tight jeans... I have flashbacks of sucking in my belly and rolling around the floor to zip up those size 2 jeans.... I would have been better off with a few sizes bigger....

Today at the ripe old age of 44 (almost 45) - I realized that I no longer care about labels on the things I wear.. the things I buy... I more often will buy a store brand item because it's less expensive and more times than not works or tastes the same as the pricier competition. Today - I realized that labels are still a big part of who I am.... but a different kind of label... a far more important type of label...

I am...........

A Wife
A Mom
A Daughter
A Sister
A Friend
A Follower of Christ
A Budget maker and keeper
A business owner
A brat
A strong headed and strong willed woman
A lover of the written word
A scardy cat of the dark...
A Conservative voter... thinker... doer...

But I do have to say that of all the labels I wear... I am most proud to be a mom and a wife to my husband of 22 years and a follower of Christ.... These are the labels that define me...

What are Your Labels???

For Fun...... The Eighties... Were Something Else.. Don't You Think....

High School Dreams......

A few weeks ago I had a dream that I went back to high school... In my dream - I was getting a second chance - a redo... Starting the 10th grade with the knowledge and wisdom I have now as a forty-four year old... I know crazy, huh? I remember thinking that this time I am going to do it right.... I woke up trying to remember my old locker combination.....

Last weekend my girls and I went to go see the movie Flipped - it is a very sweet coming of age movie - about a young girl who has a huge crush on her neighbor ( a boy her age)- the neighbor does everything he can to avoid her and then suddenly he realizes that he cares for her too... very cute. In the movie Anthony Edwards (Dr. Green - ER or if you are an old timer like me Goose from Top Gun) plays the very unhappy father to the young girl... There is a scene in the movie when he makes the comment that high school was the best time of his life....

I remember later in the day after my dream - I realized that I would never want to go back to high school... There are too many things I would miss.... mostly my girls... I cannot imagine living my life without them..... I have earned every laugh line on this face.... I have forty-four years of beautiful memories.... I have no regrets.... Every mistake and every shining moment has made me the person I am today.. A very blessed woman....

In a few weeks - my oldest will be starting her first day of high school... I am so excited to watch her grow and blossom into the woman she will become... I'm looking forward to having the "a-ha" moments with her... The "I remember when" stories of my crazy and wonderful high school days... I am looking forward to her experiencing the new found freedoms that come with high school but..... I have to admit... I miss the baby I held in my arms not too long ago....

A Touch Of The Homesickness......

I remember when I went away to 6th grade camp... I was so excited to go away for the first time without my parents.... On the fourth (4th) day - I became sick and developed a fever.... The camp counselor drove me down the mountain through the snow covered roads.. At the base of the mountain - my parents picked me up and took me home. When I arrived home - I slept for a few hours.. woke up - fever gone and I was hungry for a Taco Bell -Burrito Supreme....

Today - I received a phone call from my oldest daughter- she's been spending time with her grandma (my mom) and having a great time..... Today- even though she is having fun - she said that she wasn't feeling good and thought she might have a fever.... I asked my mom if she felt warm and she did not think so.....

The phone call reminded me of my 6th grade camp experience - even though I was having a great time with my classmates - I was homesick and my homesickness became a fever and when I got home - I was miraculously well... I have a strong suspension that my "I want to be grown up and independent daughter" has a touch of "The Homesickness"....

I look forward to seeing her tomorrow.... I miss her too.

Saying No

I am very proud of my 8th grader - she made honor roll... again.. Come to think of it - she has maintained an "A" average her entire school career thus far... She has awesome study habits - I am also proud of the fact that she challenges herself by taking advanced classes... She is no wimp, my kid...

This week as an award for the students who have made honor roll with a GPA of 3.6 or higher for the past two (2) trimesters - they get to go to Knotts Berry Farm... My kid was so excited and then another opportunity came up... This week there is also a missions trip to a San Diego homeless shelter... She went last year and came back a changed girl.... The trips are back to back days... and she wants to do both.... and now she is angry we made her choose one....

It is difficult being the parent and saying "no"... I would love to say "yes" to all those things that can make her happy.... "Yes, you can stay out all night!" "Yes, you can have candy for dinner." "Yes, you can $100 a day allowance!" "Yes, Yes Yes.." But in the real world "No" is heard more often.....

My husband and I were discussing what opportunity she would choose..... I was hoping the shelter - she loved it last year.... the husband was hoping for Knotts - so we can all join her at the end of the day and go the World Famous Knott's Berry Farm Chicken Restaurant...... Can you get guess what she chose??????

Conversations With A Thirteen Year Old Girl

"Mandy died in her sleep last night"
"Who's Mandy?" I asked.
"She's a girl that goes to my school."
"Were you friends with her?"
"No, but I knew of her."
"Do you know why she died?" I asked
"They said she had anorexia"
"Do you know what anorexia is?
"Yes, it's that thing that Karen Carpenter had"


"That girl is so EMO..." she said as she pointed to a girl going into the school.
"What is EMO?"
"It means emotionally challenged"
"Ok?" I say sarcastically...
"EMOs are girls that dress up goth and cut themselves" she informed me..

"Most of my friends are allowed to date."
"Really? How do they go on their dates?" I inquire
"Their older brother drives.."
"All your friends have older brothers?
"Most of them do"

"I don't know why I can't go to_____'s house for a sleep over!" she cries.
"What happened at her last sleep over?" I ask.
"They went to 7-11." she says
"What time did they go?"
"Midnight.." she mumbles
"Enough said" I finish...

"Can you take me to Target?' she asks
"What do you need to get?
"I have gift cards"
"Okay, what do you want to buy?"
"I have gift cards and I want to buy something"
"Didn't you want to save for a I touch?"
"Not anymore..."
"Why, I thought you "had" to have one"
"I don't have enough money to buy one."
"Why don't you save your money and get one then"
"I want to buy a bag, earrings, a necklace, and a CD..."

Interesting chats with my thirteen year old daughter....

Relieved It Wasn't My Daughter...

When my youngest was around six (6) years old she decided she wanted to try gymnastics - There was a introduction to gymnastic class through the city and I signed her up.... The class took place at a pretty well known gym (I did not know it at the time) - after the first day of lessons her teacher came up to me and said that she was a natural... I took it to mean they wanted me to sign her up for classes to make more money... I said "that's nice" and did not think about it again until....

The owner of the gym came up to me at my daughter's last lesson and said that he believed she had a lot of natural talent and thought it would be great to have her take lessons... My daughter loved the idea and she started taking 2 - 1 hour classes a week. Before I knew it (within 6 months) she was on team and competing... Her classes had increased to 4 days a week at 3 hours plus each day... She also had private coaching on the weekends.... Later she switched gyms to work with a well known coach who had sent several girls to the Olympic games... This is where the fun became a job.... this is where my kid discovered she no longer wanted to this sport and after watching her cry in pain more times than I could count along with the other girls - I believed she made the right decision... Gymnastics is a sport that you have love to continue or the pain... the hours... the complete dedication is not worth it..

I was relieved on so many levels when she quit.... Relieved that I no longer had to hold my breath when she would swing through the air on the uneven bars.... or flipping her body onto the 4 inch beam... or climbing the rope to the ceiling (that still gives me the chills).. Relieved that I don't have to juggle a gymnastic schedule... relieved that I don't have to pay the expensive tuition and private lessons.... relieved I no longer have to listen to the all consuming gossip of the other moms... the viciousness was amazing... Most of all, I am relieved that I don't have to worry about her breaking a leg.. an arm... or worse like so many girls do each year....

The reason I am writing about this today is - I ran into a mom of a gymnast that I once knew - I asked her how her daughter was doing... She said that her daughter received a full ride to a pretty good college and in the first competition she hurt herself on the uneven bars... she broke her back.... she lost her scholarship.... she is still in extensive therapy.... and in excruciating pain....

I hope I don't sound awful by saying this.... but the main thing that was going through my mind when this mother was telling me about her daughter... besides how awful I felt for her was that I thank God my kid quit in time....