Today is a very emotional and sad day... and I don noe why i felt that way either...

:: Failure in Love ::

Last nite while on msn, cake-kie told me that he dreamt of me on sunday nite and it was something like he was married to me and we two had a child. Hmm... well, I was rather surprised that he would dreamt of me loh... If he had dreamt of me earlier, I guess I would be very very very happy de... Cos after so much things, I've been trying very hard to control my split not to think abt him. Yet, after I knew abt this dream of his, my split's starting to 'revive' the 'almost faded' feel for Cake-Kie... and it's really a very terrible feel for me...
Very Hurtful... My Heart's Been Deeply Stabbed By A Knife... Seriously In Pain... Deeply Wounded. When Will I Recover?

:: Failure in Studies ::

Had our 1st ever productivity & creativity module today, the lecturer was so entertaining and humorous loh, enjoy the lesson very much. Then during the internet programming, I was sooo lost... becos my programming is very poor and i'm not very good in the understandings of how the things work oso... so i had a hard time dealing with the coding and stuffs... Well, u may say 'ask ur fren or classmates lah' but u cannot always trouble ppl rite? Everyone's gotta do the same lab loh, then if keep on asking, sure 'slow' them down mah... not very good oso loh... I guess all i have to do is to study harder and remember the word - 'Baek Jun Moo Phae' of cos.

:: Failure in Friendship ::

Hmm... recently i'm seriosuly tired & restless over this frenship thingy loh... okay, the main lead in this story is R (I noe u will read my blog that's why I'm writing this). Recently I've sensed that R sort of 'finding trouble' frm me during our conversation in sch... don misunderstand, she's not ne bad kid, it's the way she talks during the conversation... and it is sure 'offensive' to me. U may think i'm a sensitive person, yes, in fact, i'm a rather sensitive person under my split, but u must hear me out 1st b4 u make any assumptions... It is not only the way she talks, it's oso the eyes expressions and attitude + tone she gave u during the conversation... it's like when she thinks it's 'oh, how unnecessary for u to do that' she will give u the look, tone and attitude that is seriously offensive to me. U noe 'fan bai yan'? Sort of like that loh... well, i don think i have done nething bad to R recently loh... it's like she 1 to starts a conversation yet she would 'destroys' it in the end loh... R, I don noe what is ur problem and what u hope to hear or enjoy frm the conversation, but seriously, if u're having ur PMS and u 1 2 start a conversation, PLS DON TALK TO ME. I'm SERIOUSLY TIRED OF & Offended By IT... I'm always acting coldly towards u in sch after the 'destroyed' conversation is because I don noe how to continue and 'resurrect' the conversation loh... yet, at times, she became the 'normal' self whom i've known for the past 1 year, very kind and helpful to help u out in studies when u look blur. R, tell me, are u having ur PMS or mood swing thingy recently? Maybe u're having it becos of ur family stuffs... i don noe, i'm not u and i can't read ur mind... the reason why i'm not pointing out this topic to u in sch is becos I'm not good at putting word together when it comes to a 'crack' in the frendship. That is why i have to post it online, in my blog. I don noe if u'll get my original msg across or if u get the wrong idea of it... but nevertheless, i just 1 to pass the msg to u.
All these FAILURES are making me soo sick and sad, as well as restless recently... I almost lost control of my tears when I was left alone in the train on my way back home...

:: Account for Today ::

During dinner time (got nite class mah, the internet programming lab loh), i saw ELP Guy!! And he was sitting directly in the direction opposite of me, but a few rows of tables away frm me lah. Then we could see each other's face and exchange eyes contact. I'm surprised to see him cos nowadays very 'rarely' to see him oso, cos we don have that much of elp session, and even if we had, we might not get to see him in elp, it's not that he is always there at the elp mah. Then when he left, I smiled to him, and he smiled back. How nice it was.

Then on the way out to sch, I saw Zheng Guo and his fren frm the back, but they didn't see me lah. Hmm... I was trying my best to rush loh, cos it's sooo late le, and i will reach home ard 11pm or so, so all the more i have to rush, or else sure 11pm plus. Then, half way thru the covered walk way, I was blocked... well, there's a group of slow guys, really slow walking infront of me... so I looked up and realised.... Oh My!!! It's them!! The ex-E6 guys.. and worst, terence oso with the group... so all the while i was walking behind them, and hope that they won't turn back to realise my present... then at the traffic crossing there, I managed to 'overtake' them, happy... can rush le... rush for train... but then, to my surprise again, they recognise me frm the back!!! Oh My!!! Why they recognise my backview one?!! Then I heard one of them shouting 'Eh, isn't that FiOh?' and i was like 'Oh no... they've discovered me...' so all the more I have to walk faster... but they keep on shouting my name and terence's name as well frm the back... hai... well, it's not that i'm being sooo rude for not turning back to talk to them, it's just that i seriously 1 2 catch the train... but in the end i failed to catch it... i guess if they weren't walking so slowly infront of me, by my super duper speed-walking, i shd be able to catch the train de...

Nvm loh, ne way, I met Eugene (Ho), Sandman and Angeline at the stn there and we 4 had a chat until Eugene's train came and pick him up. Then, Angeline saw her fren (frm my WSS trade oso, but i don noe his name) and they had some chat as well, but suddenly her fren saw his fren and just walk away during half of the conversation with Angeline loh... then sandman saw my 'piles' of books in my hands and he offered to carry it for me (Guys are sure sweet at times but some are sure MEAN as well), but i say 'no need' cos cannot bully guys oso mah.. then like that i can train my arms as well. Lolz... then while I was facing both Angeline and sandman to help them take photo using sandman's handphone, Angeline suddenly look at the direction behind me and say 'ur frend?' So i turn to see, orh, it's Zheng Guo and he's waving good-bye to me (So he alight at Woodlands). Hmm... I didn't expect him to wave goodbye to me lah, cos we didn't really talk to each other loh. I have a chat with Angeline, asking her why she change her lecture gp oso, then she say she's the online student, and she change her path, that's y.. i asked if she missed her ex-classmates? She said not really as she wasn't that attached to them... for for me, I'm quite attached to my ex-classmates leh, besides that, I oso perfer our ex-lecture gp cos we all sign the attendance list very fast and would pass ard to make sure everyone has signed. Not like the current lecture gp, they only pass the attendance list to their frend loh, we're like invisible to them... then had to go ask frm the lecturer at the end of the lessons... the list is like will nv be pass to us like that one loh...

After sometime, Angeline's fren continue his conversation with her.. so funny loh.. walk away upon the sight of his fren at the stn there while waiting for the train, then after such a long time then remember to continue the conversation. Then, he asked if me and angeline knew each other. He got to noe that I'm oso the OGL, and Angeline oso got to noe that we knew each other on surface thru WSS thingy. He asked for my name, but didn't intro his... LOL... so funny. Nvm lah.