Jack was 12 days early. At my 37 week appointment, I was measuring small. This is not unusual for me. My doctor was concerned and decided to schedule another ultrasound to check on baby's measurements. This didn't worry me, as she had done the same thing with Ava, and Ava was measuring fine. So I went in for another ultrasound. The next Wednesday rolled around. My mom came down to watch Ava while I went to the doctor, and then we had plans after to sew curtains and crib sheets to help complete the freshly painted nursery we had finished the day before. I headed off to the doctor. The first thing she said to me was that I was on her list of people to call today. I knew what that meant. Baby was measuring small. The concern was that he wasn't getting the nutrients he needed inside the womb. 38 weeks is full term, so in the case of low growth, as this is called, the course of action is to induce and get the baby out where they CAN get the nutrients they need. Before I could even fully wrap my mind around the idea of being induced at all, the doctor stepped out to call the hospital and I called Landon. When she came back, she told me that the hospital said TODAY was a good day and to head on over. Surprise! Landon had worked from home that morning and was actually on his way to the office, so he turned around and I met him at home to throw some things in a suitcase (because of course I hadn't packed! I thought I had 12 days!) and then it was off to the hospital. I felt scattered and unprepared. The whole thing just was....surreal. My babies don't come early. I honestly thought I had nearly two weeks left to prepare. Plus I really wanted to go into labor on my own for this last pregnancy.
The hospital was expecting us, and fortunately I had managed to get myself preregistered prior to this, so the paperwork part went quickly. It took four miserable tries to get the IV in...my poor hand/arm is still bruised nearly a week later. But finally, they got the pitocin going at 1:15. Not too long after, I got my epidural. And then I got pretty sick...nauseous (more so than I already was, anyway), throwing up and my blood pressure dropping. The nurses turned off the pitocin for around a couple hours, Landon said it was, as they tried to get me settled. I was on oxygen (the mask balanced lightly over my nose and mouth...I'm claustrophobic and having an oxygen mask on makes me panic) for at least an hour. Once I started feeling better and the pitocin was rolling again, things started moving. In some ways, it seemed like it took FOREVER. But once my body finally reached the point of delivery, it kind of took me by surprise! The nurse called my doctor and got everything ready. My doctor came in and we all sat around talking about New York and food while we waited for the nursery nurse to arrive. Once she did, I pushed for maybe 5 minutes from start to finish (probably 2 or 3 minutes of active pushing) and there he was. I was obviously numb, but I could still feel the sensation of him slipping out of my abdomen when my doctor pulled him out after his head had made it out. It's such a bizarre feeling. And oh, the relief! They laid him on my chest for a few minutes before weighing, measuring and cleaning up a bit. I'm not going to lie, despite having it confirmed in three different ultrasounds, I was very relieved to see his parts and know for myself that he really was a boy! (I wanted a boy so badly I was afraid it would turn out to be a mistake!)
He's a sweetheart. And he is utterly adored by his siblings. They couldn't come see him until the next day. And then that evening when it was time to leave, Dallin cried because he wanted to stay with Jack and Mommy. Both Dallin and Susie have been sweet as pie with/about their baby brother. Ava is struggling a bit, which isn't surprising. Incidentally, Ava grew exponentially from Wednesday morning to Thursday morning! My baby girl seems enormously grown up now!
I wondered how I would feel at this point, knowing this was my last newborn baby, my last time giving birth, my final adieu to pregnancy. I wondered if I would be sad. Sad isn't the right word. It's bittersweet, of course. But I also know it's the right thing. We feel complete. I feel a sense of excitement and hope for the years to come, in which I can focus just on raising my children without the challenging interruption of surviving pregnancy. I do feel like I didn't get the chance to really bid it goodbye, since my pregnancy ended sooner than I expected. But it is sure nice not to be pregnant right now! :) The last almost nine months have been an incredibly challenging time for our family. Months and months of Mommy being sick wears on everyone. I had many moments of desperation and despair. But the funny thing is, now that he's here, already the memories are fading. Swallowed up in the beauty of my baby.
Still, it is a relief to know that I'll never go through that again. :)
