Thoughts.

These few days I have been at yishun so often. Partly cause friends I meeting are at yishun and I acc Kevin take car so can go supper etc.

Heart is healing slowly. Head is clearing slowly.

Knowing that I am in a vulnerable state, I tried to avoid certain people. Knowing that I must recognize the fact that I have to move on, I, ironically, start going out with people.

I'm so scared of being in the vicious cycle of relationships like what I use to be in. I tried to avoid some people very intentionally knowing that I am clearly not interested in them, and dumbly end up hanging out with people whom I am interested/comfortable being alone with. Hope the vicious cycle doesn't start again. I want to treat every relationship (or my next relationship) very seriously and not a case of rebound.

Sigh... But I'm really very vulnerable now.

A Day to remember.

Today is yet another day in my life where I feel that is worth remembering...

Because today I somehow feel a sense of closure... a sense of letting go... not only for myself but also for the both the people that I have been holding on tightly and the people whom have always been there for me.. Holding on to Wan doesn't make me feel any better regardless of what diplomatically correct words he always say to me... things that always make me boil.. because it is things like this he said makes me feel so impersonal with him.. and perhaps all along we weren't? I dunno.

Tonight ( means just now ), I walked home alone. As I walked, I felt a sense of relieve. Perhaps this is what they called closure or letting go ? I felt like a burden removed from me emotionally. I felt so free. I felt as though life is going to get better.

All these have to thank my frenz who have been around to support me , instead of criticizing me.

Thank You frenz! :)

A little secret.

In my world that I told u about today...
In my world we are together already today.
:)

Clear ur mind.

Always be thankful of people around you. Because they are not going to be there forever.

Always guard your own heart. Because you never know who will come by and take it away unexpectedly.

Always clear ur emotions before making any decisions. Because impulsive and emotional decisions aren't always the best or wise decisions.

Random tots while studying in Lin today w Kevin. ;)

Feeling unwell

Feeling really unwell now. So pathetic of me to think of texting u.

If I'm a third person in this situation I would have scolded myself for even thinking about it.

All I could do now is just hug prince n bear thru the night alone, without you. Anyway, you have perhaps intended to exclude me from the start.

I watched "500 days of summer" the other day. It made me reflected our r/s. I talked to Ain the other day. It made me reflected even more. I came to the realization the It was a wishful thinking on my part. I have talked to more ppl Abt it. And they see it coming, that the r/s will end.

Why m I like the guy so blur n din see it coming at all? And foolishly allow myself to sink so deep in?

Now I'm trapped all alone and on my own. Even though some ppl(guys) appear helpful and caring, I'm afraid of reaching out. Cuz I knw I haven had a closure w u. I need to end it properly within myself. I dun wan to date another rebound or be someone's rebound.