I'm a lucky man

I spent the Christmas holiday with my Dad's side of the family in Philadelphia. This consisted of me, Dad, Uncle John, Aunt Shelley, and my cousins Jake and Bill.  I'll be honest, I wasn't looking forward to this visit.  My uncle is the bully of the family and makes everyone uncomfortable with his comments and behavior.  Of course, he was no different during this visit.  

I have to say that I feel sorriest for my Aunt Shelley.  When it is just her and I, she is so much fun.  She gets my sense of humor and we have a good time.  But with John she is miserable and the thing is, she's his second wife!  John's first wife left him in a nasty divorce with my three cousins getting caught in the middle.  

The reason I consider myself a lucky man is I consider myself one of the two normal members of that side of the family (the other being my brother).  Matt and I have been together for 13 years now and the thing I love most is we still make each other laugh.  It can be over the silliest of things, but the laughter is still there.  

My family sees success as finishing your education, having a successful career, etc.  For me, my success is simply being happy.  My three cousins are successful, but I don't see them as happy.  None of them has had a seriously relationship (and I attribute that fact to how much their father screwed them up) and they are all older than I am.  

The Hawaii Trip

The weather outside is truly frightful tonight.  It's currently -3° and it's predicted to be -15° tomorrow night.  So this would be the perfect time to recall our trip to Hawaii.  

Matt and I had been planning this trip since we found out the ISU women's team had committed to play in the University of Hawaii's tournament over the Thanksgiving weekend.  I was able to use part of my remaining Jeopardy! money to cover the cost.  It was great not having to charge any of the travel costs and relaxing to know that the trip was paid for 7 months in advance!

Traveling to Oahu wasn't the adventure we were expecting it to be.  For once our flights were on-time and relatively trouble free.  I spent the money and bought exit row seats for the flight from Minneapolis to Honolulu.  Having the extra leg room was well worth the cost. Once we arrived in Hawaii we received the traditional Lei greeting (another expense worth the money) and my skin started tingling just from the humidity soaking in.  We were greeted to a rainbow as we left the airport on our ride to the hotel.

Our hotel, the Princess Kaiulani, 

was AMAZING! The hotel is next door to the International Marketplace and across the street from the Moana Surfrider, the team's hotel and the oldest hotel on Waikiki Beach (built in 1901).  What really surprised me about most of the hotels in Honolulu was that the lobbies were open air.  I'm sure they have ways of sealing off the lobbies in case of hurricanes or bad storms, but you can pretty much come and go as you please.  

On our second day there we took a tour of the island.  We were taken with the natural beauty of Oahu.  From the coast to the inland, there is no shortage of things to see.  On the windward side of the island, the mountain has been eroded so much over the centuries that it looks like someone has taken a giant fork and just carved huge gouges.  

On Thanksgiving Day we hiked up Diamond Head. 

The hike was a challenge but it was worth it. The view from the crater rim was incredible. Something that struck me about Hawaii was for how "touristy" the state is, that the majority of things to do are physical.  Whether it's the beach, hiking, etc., you can choose to do as little or as much as you want to, but it's very easy to stay active.  For as well as we ate out there (and we did eat well) I didn't gain any weight because we were always doing things.

Another of my favorite moments was heading to the beach on Thanksgiving Day.  How great is it that you can be on the beach before going to eat Turkey and the fixins.  It was the first time in a long time that I had been shirtless in front of a lot of people and while I was self conscious, I wasn't embarrassed.  The working out and eating better had paid off and while I still have a long way to go, I loved the progress that I had made. :-)

Thinking Warm Thoughts

So later on tonight, I'm going to be reminiscing about our trip over the Thanksgiving Holiday to Hawaii.  It's snowing outside right now, so I'm going to post a warm photo put my mind in a happy place.  Plus it's one of the best photos of me ever taken sans shirt.  The young lady in the photo with me is my good friend Amanda.

Has it been over a month?

Hard to believe how much time has flown since my last post.  I'd like to say I've been incredibly busy and haven't had time to post, but that's only partially true.  Mostly it's been trying to figure out what I want to say.

For Thanksgiving Matt and I went to Hawaii to see the Iowa State women's basketball team play in the Rainbow Wahine Tournament.  We had an amazing time that I'll blog about this weekend. I promise.  What I am going to write about is gay marriage in Iowa. 

Today the Iowa Supreme Court hear arguments in the case of Varnum v. Brien. The verdict in the original case was for the plaintiffs and allowed same-sex couples in Iowa to legally marry. The judge in the case put a stay on his ruling until the case could be heard by the Iowa Supreme Court.  

The ruling could go either way.  If the judges uphold the verdict, Iowa would become the only state in the midwest to allow same-sex marriage. It would be difficult, but not impossible, for an amendment to be added to the state constitution.  That would require the state legislature to approve the amendment for two consecutive terms and then a state vote. With the Democrats in control of the Iowa legislature, it would be tricky for an amendment to be passed.  But with Governor Culver, you can never be too sure.  I don't trust that man.

But with the possibility of marriage to Matt being so close, it does bring out the romantic in me.  We've both decided that we will have a simple civil ceremony with just family and very close friends.  The reception on the other had will have everyone invited.  Matt will be in charge of the music (of course) and my main responsibility will be the cake.  I kinda live for cake at a wedding.  Hell, it's the only reason I go to most weddings. 

I've been trying to come up with ideas for our first dance.  Right now I'm leaning towards "At Last" by Etta James, but that could change tomorrow.  I just want that one moment of Matt and I dancing together in each other's arms.

Election Day

This morning I turned on "Good Morning America", as I always do before heading off to school, and the thought just hits me "Oh god, this is it.  Today is THE day."  Being an Iowan, I've been one of the chosen few who have been inundated with political candidates, ads, slogans, yardsigns, etc. for the past two years.  It's been a long road and now we are at the finish line.

While Robin and Diane were chatting away about Obama and McCain's final hours of campaigning, I started to tear-up (I am so the bride).  I guess what started to get to me was that we are so close to having a president that I can be proud of.  I'm a Democrat and proud of it. The thought of McCain being president makes my stomach turn, but in all probability that won't happen.  Not that I'm counting the chickens too early, I'm still nervous as hell before the returns actually are counted and verified.  But just to be this close and see the end in sight is such a relief.  The finish line is only hours away.

Time to Commit

I had my final training session with Nate tonight.  We discussed what I plan to do now that I've finished with my formal sessions.  For the time I spent with the personal training staff, I do feel like I've made a lot of progress (I'll find out how much when I have my exit evaluation next week).  But I explained to Nate that it's time for me to fly solo for a while.  I feel like if I'm going to be successful at losing weight then I have to prove that I can do it on my own.

For me to be successful, I have to motivate myself to get to the gym and workout.  I know where I want to get to (180 lbs and 15% bf) and I have the road map to get there.  I simply have to put the key in the ignition and drive.  Plus as I've said before, the scenery along the drive is worth taking in (good lord it was like a buffet tonight!).

Mad Men Madness

Tonight was the season finale of my favorite show - Mad Men (the show that everyone is talking about, yet very few people watch).  For those who have seen the show, they fall into one of two categories - those who LOVE it and those who HATE it.  The one criticism that I've heard from those who don't like the show is that it moves too slowly, and the funny thing is, that's what I love about it.

My brother Mike once said that a good television show is like a great book - at the end of each chapter of a great book you want to get to the next chapter.  Mad Men unfolds slowly and in subtle layers. This is the type of show where you not only have to pay attention to the dialogue, but also to the facial expressions and body language of the characters.

This is one of the few shows that I have ever watched where the characters are, for lack of a better term, real people.  Last week a character was raped by her own fiance and I was devastated.  The last time I could remember getting that choked up over a TV show was when Kevin and Scotty got married on "Brothers & Sisters".  And that was a happy event!

I'm anxiously looking forward to watching the second season again knowing how it ends. I'll be able to look for the little things that have such large ramifications in the end. Mad Men is a great book that I will enjoy reading over and over and over.  Not to mention the joys of seeing Jon Hamm, Rich Sommer and Aaron Staton.

Now I just have to wait three months until Battlestar Galactica's final season.  FRAK!

13,515 days

Thirty-seven years ago in Jacksonville, Florida I made my debut into this world.  Yesterday was the celebration of that debut. 

Relatively speaking it was a quiet birthday.  My kids at school sang "Happy Birthday" to me a total of three times (yet another reason why the really need to take chorus) and I got a couple of nice cards. Then it was off to a mentor/mentee meeting (2 hours of fun).  Matt then took me to Hickory Park for dinner.  Of course I had to get dessert and of course the waiters sang to me. All to get Matt the $2.50 discount on the ice cream.  LOL

After dinner we met Pete, Peter and Kyle over at Welch Ave. Station to watch the Phillies and Rays play Game 1 of the World Series.  Pete introduced me to the wonders of the gin gimlet. The drink reminded me of a pine forest - fresh, clean and crisp.  Since it was my birthday the waitress kept bringing em.  It was nice and let's just say I slept very well last night.

It was a good day.  

A Wii Bit Excited

So as luck would have it, I got a card in the mail today from my dad for my birthday. (for those unaware, my birthday is this Wednesday....37)  Every year my dad sends me a gift card and this year it was Best Buy.  Matt and I were going out anyways, so we stopped by BB so that I could pick up the new Keane cd.  Well, they finally had them in stock...the Wii Fit!  I couldn't resist. I've been looking for one for months and the stars finally aligned.  This will be a nice addition to my fitness program.  

Emotional Rescue

I was thinking about emotional releases today.  A couple of friends of mine will watch "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" just so they can cry at the end.  For them, it's cathartic to be able to get out those emotions.

So it got me to thinking what do I need to just get out a good cry, and on Friday it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I've discovered that, for me, news stories about soldiers returning from being deployed to surprise their kids, just sets me off.  There was one moment where a dad showed up in the classroom of his 7 year-old son.  The camera focuses on the kid and you just see the look of confusion turn to recognition.  Then the kid, crying,  runs to his dad and into his arms. I swear, after seeing this story, I cried for half an hour.  This happened two or three years ago and I still get choked up thinking about it.  Every time I see one of these 'feel good' pieces, I get emotional.  Normally stories that play on the viewers emotions make me nauseous, but for me, the reunion pieces get me.  

I also have to admit one other thing that causes me to tear up - "Oprah's Favorite Things".  I know, it's totally over the top.  But seeing people get tons of stuff that they don't need or could never even dream of affording hits me.  I know it shouldn't, but if it's on and I'm watching, I have Kleenex handy.  

Is it Friday yet?

This has been a very long week.  I've just had so much going on with school, working out, socializing, that my body today just wanted to shut down.  I was tired and cranky with the only thing I wanted to do was go home and crawl into bed and sleep.  Of course tonight is Pubstumpers and Legends so I'll be going to that with Matt.  I'm not sure when I'll actually be able to sleep in.  Tomorrow is the first ISU women's practice and then friends are coming over for dinner.  Not to mention the plethora of things that are planned for the weekend.  Maybe I can pencil in a few hours a couple of weeks from now.

Of course one thing that comes to mind...I'm getting old.  LOL  Next week is my 37th (ugh) birthday.  I'm having a harder time with this birthday then those in the past.  This past week a date was set for my 20 year class reunion and now I'm facing my late 30s.  I'm realizing that I'm not a kid anymore, even though I still act like one.  I'm way past the halfway point to "retirement age" and that's suddenly a sobering thought.  

On the plus side, I still look a lot younger than my age.  I know people my age who look 10 years older than their actual age.  With my fitness program, hopefully I'll be able to take a few more years off my looks.  Speaking of which, I cheated.  I had resolved not to step on the scale until November 1st.  Yesterday I woke up in a funk, actually the same funk I've been in the past week.  I put the battery back in the scale hoping that seeing a lower weight would pick me up.  The readout said "223".  So while I was happy to see the lower weight, I was disappointed that I couldn't hold out until the end of the month.

10:39 pm - Another fun night at Pubstumpers.  The Max Fisher Players won...again. We had great music rounds and ended up scoring 85 points.  We won the 12-week season by a wide margin.  I think we could have skipped the final three weeks and still held on to first place. Next week begins a brand new season.

Eureka! A win for Huntingdon!

My Huntingdon Hawks pummled the Eureka Red Devils 62-0 on Saturday.  Woohoo!  Now before you go and think that HC was running up the score, Eureka couldn't stop a running faucet.  In the second half I think the Hawks threw all of two or three passes.  It was all running.  

There was a great crowd from HC.  Montgomery is 730 miles from Eureka and quite a few parents made the trek from Alabama.  I think half the student body was there as well.  In addition to the football team, the cheerleaders and marching band (yes, I said marching band) were there as well.  Huntingdon is the first Division III school in the country to have a marching band, and they are very good.  

I got to see Jane Williams, a faculty member who was at the school when I was there.  We sat together and chatted about friends and faculty from years past.  It was great catching up.  

Not to sound like a dirty, old man, but the Huntingdon football team is quite easy on the eyes.  There was no shortage of eye candy on the squad and their photos in the media guide did not do them justice.  Now that HC plays in the SLIAC (St. Louis Intercollegiate Athletic Conference), we're definitely planning on making a few more games each season.  

The only drawback to the game (other than being in B.F.Illinois), was that it wasn't typical mid-October weather.  It was in the mid 80s with little cloud cover.  Both Matt and I got fried and I didn't get to wear my brand new Huntingdon sweatshirt.  Oh well, next time.  But overall it was a great trip and a nice early birthday present from Matt.

Gay Marriage in the Nutmeg State

Yesterday the Connecticut Supreme Court ruled that the state must recognize gay marriages. This is a big deal because Connecticut has has had civil unions in place for some time now. But the court ruled that civil unions are not the same as gay marriage and that the state must allow them.  Woohoo!

Now most gay couples in the northeast have simply gone to Massachusetts to get hitched, the ruling in Connecticut does have it's implications. California voters are prepared to vote on Proposition 8, which would overturn the state Supreme Court ruling allowing gay marriage. The Moron, sorry, I mean Mormon church has been pouring millions of dollars into the campaign to pass Prop 8.  It's going to be a close vote and the news that another state is allowing gay marriage may help swing opinion against denying couples in California that same right.  

I'm guessing that I'm going to be up very late on November 4th watching the returns come in. With the presidential election and the various state races, it is going to be a very interesting night.  Just hope Matt and I don't have to move to Canada if a certain candidate wins the White House.  

Saturday in Eureka, Illinois

Of all places to be on a Saturday morning, Eurkea, Illinois would be one of the last I would have ever expected to be.  It's a city of 4,900 people and it's version of high class dining is the local Hardee's.  But as it turns out it will be hosting an event I didn't think I'd ever see - a football game involving my alma mater.  

When I graduated from Huntingdon in 1993, the school didn't have a football program.  We didn't even have a basketball program for that matter.  But a few years ago the school started up football after buying the Cloverdale Middle School which is across the street from the main campus.  The old middle school had a football field and why let it go to waste?  After a few years as an independent, HC joined the SLIAC (St. Louis Intercollegiate Athletic Conference) which has schools in Missouri and Illinois (and now Alabama).  Today, Huntingdon will battle mighty(?) Eureka College at noon.  Huntingdon is 4-0, while Eureka is 2-2.  Hopefully the Hawks will emerge victorious.

As part of my birthday present, Matt and I drove over from Ames last night to attend the game today.  Granted my birthday isn't for a couple of weeks, but when do I get the opportunity to see Huntingdon play.  I'll know at least one person there, as the professor who is in charge of coordinating travel for the school was there when I was enrolled.  There should be a good crowd for the game.  I'll try and post a picture or two when we get home.

Go HAWKS!  Hawk-Em!

On a relate note, it is National Coming Out Day.  While we are at the game today, I'm going to introduce Matt as my partner, as that is what he is! Surprisingly there were quite a few "family" members who went to Huntingdon.  In addition, the college marching band will be there, so there have to be some gays at the game today. (I was a yearbook geek btw, can't carry a tune to save my life!)

Dragging my butt to the gym

My sinuses have been bugging me for the past couple of weeks.  I was diagnosed with a sinus infection (gee, only the 40th or so that I've had in the past 7 years) and have been taking medicine for it.  My problem is that I need to drink a ton of fluids and use Flonase (which I hate), and so the sinuses are not happy with me. 

So today I was battling a headache and I was tired.  After dropping Carrie off (we carpool), I so just wanted to head on home and lie down on the couch.  But I promised myself that I was going to go to Lied to exercise.  Even after I started on the rowing machine, I kept thinking, "I could be home right now."

But the funniest thing happened.  The deeper I got into my workout, the better I felt.  So by the end of the workout, I felt pretty darned good.  I had energy and my sinus headache was better.  And of course my favorite added benefit, the eye candy at the gym.  After getting home, I looked in the mirror and I think my face looks thinner.  I also keep reminding myself that on November 1st that I put that battery back in and step on the scale.  

Who I Want To Be

I've been overweight for most of my life.  I started putting on the weight in high school as my lack of self-confidence and (oh yeah) being gay in Bible Belt in the 80s.  Food was my way to fill the holes in myself.  Over the past two decades I've come to have a better impression of myself.  But alas, the weight still remained.  

I've made attempts in the past to lose the weight with varied success.  Two years ago I got myself down to 219 pounds, but again, fell off the wagon and put the pounds back on.  More than anything I have been embarrassed about how I look.  What was even more embarrassing was not being able to walk up the stairs in our school building without getting winded!  On August 1st I weighed 240 pounds.  I gotta admit, it was one of the lowest points of my life.  I felt completely defeated.  

Since then I have made progress.  Working with a personal trainer from Iowa State I have been consistent in working out.  In addition I have really watched what I've been eating.  A big change has been eating lunch from the school cafeteria.  While our lunches are very good, they are designed for middle school students who need a high caloric intake.  I've also been drinking as much water as I can and have pretty much cut out all my regular soda intake.  

On October 1st, I stepped on the scale and the readout read "225.5".  I was floored.  Over the course of two months I had shed 14.5 pounds.  My jeans have been fitting better (no more TPS) and I've been able to get up those stairs easier.  My trainer even noticed that I had lost weight (that made my day!).  

One problem that I was having was that I was becoming obsessed with getting on the scale.  Literally every morning and night I was weighing myself.  I knew that had to stop.  So after I triple checked the 225.5 measurement that morning, I turned the scale over and took out the battery, vowing not to put it back in until November 1st.  I'm gonna work my butt off with exercise and healthy eating, trusting that I can drop 5.5 pounds.

But I also need to look long term.  My ultimate goal is to weigh around 175 pounds with 13-14% body fat.  After my last training session I am going to have my measurements taken and then set individual body part goals.  

I had a great workout tonight at the Rec Center.  The weights are getting heavier and I've also started interval running on the track.  I've spent nearly 37 years in this body.  It's time to lose the baggage and be the person I know I can be.

God Bless Tina Fey

Without a doubt one of the funniest 12 minutes of the year.

Gay Marriage

Disclaimer - These are my personal views.  I know that people have different opinions and I respect that.  I just ask that others respect my opinion as well. 

The Iowa Supreme Court has set a date for oral arguments on the issue of gay marriage in Iowa.  Last year a judge in Polk County (Des Moines) ruled that the prohibition of gay marriage in Iowa was unconstitutional under Iowa law.  Of course the case was immediately sent for review to the Iowa Supreme Court.  Before a stay of the ruling took effect one couple, two ISU students, were able to be officially married.  The court should rule sometime in 2009. 

My partner Matt and I have been together for nearly 13 years.  I would like nothing more than to be able to marry him legally.  Presently, California and Massachusetts do have gay marriage (Californias - vote No on 8!).  We've talked about going to either one of those states if the ISC rules against the issue, but there is a BIG part of me that wants to be married in Iowa.

The arguments against gay marriage just don't hold any water to me.  

• God says that it's wrong in the Bible.  First of all God didn't write the Bible.  Men wrote the Bible and it has been interpreted and reinterpreted over the course of 2,000 years, going from Aramaic through Hebrew, Greek, Latin, and other languages, so meanings of words or phrases in one language can translate completely differently in another. In addition, the Bible was partially put together by the Councils of Rome and Trent. There were books left out (see the Apocrypha).  I understand that the Bible has deep meanings for many people and that it is often used for guidance.  What bothers me is when people look to the Bible to do their thinking for them.  
• Marriage is for procreation - Are you kidding me?  We have 6 billion people in the world and we need more?  So where is the requirement that heterosexual couples must have children?  Why are couples that are clearly past child-bearing age allowed to marry?  
• It will bring down society (or the end of the world, or whatever).  This same argument was used to justify the ban on inter-racial marriages.  Guess what, the world is still here and guess who wouldn't be running for president if that ban were still in effect!  Last time I checked, Massachusetts and California, not to mention Canada, the Netherlands and Spain were still around as well.  
• It will lead to people being able to marry multiple people, animals, or kids.  Are you kidding me?  This is blatant fear mongering (how Republican of them).  Nothing seems to motivate more than the "fear" of something happening.  Instead of coming up with logical arguments, opponents use the "well if you let this happen, then think of all these bad things that will happen."  Ugh!

It just frustrates me to see heterosexual couples meet and get married in the blink of an eye, while my relationship with my partner of 13 years is not eligible to be recognized in the eyes of the state and entitled to the benefits that married couples receive.  We're ready to go to either coast to get hitched, I just hope that we can have both the wedding and reception here in Iowa with our family and friends around us.

Ah the joys of trivia

Thursday nights are trivia nights at Legends.  My team, The Max Fisher Players, is pretty good.  In fact, we end up winning a majority of the time.  Thursday's are my favorite night of the week simply because it's fun.  I get to stretch my brain and the guys I play with are awesome.  We laugh, we eat, we talk, we dominate.  

What's It All About?

OK, so this is my second attempt at blogging.  Hence the title - "Second Time Around".  I'm more determined to make this one stick.  

The blog address comes from one of my favorite "Bad" movies - The Avengers.  The bad guy, Sir August de Wynter (played so gleefully by Sean Connery) says -

"Nothing is impossible, just mathematically improbable."

Being that I'm a math teacher, that quote makes me smile.  Every year I put a different quote related to mathematics on my front bulletin board that stays up there for the entire year.  Of the 8 that I've done, that quote from the Avengers is my favorite.  For those playing the home game, this year's quote is, "Go deep down enough into anything and you will find mathematics."

So who the hell am I?  Well, my name is Robert, I'm 36 years old, born in Jacksonville, Florida.  I was a Navy Brat, so my family moved a lot when I was a kid.  We lived in Jacksonville, Arlington (VA), Norfolk (VA), San Diego.  We finally settled in Pensacola, Florida which is where my mom's side of the family is from.  I spent my four years of high school at J.M. Tate High School (Go Aggies!) and then it was off to college at Huntingdon College in Montgomery, Alabama.  Following Huntingdon, I completed my master's degree in education at Florida State University (Go Seminoles!).  From there, things really got interesting.

I didn't enjoy living in Florida (great state to vacation in, but to live in, well....).  My best friend from college and his fiance were moving to Iowa City to attend the University of Iowa for grad school.  Her parents wouldn't let them live together until they got married, so he needed a roommate.  I wanted out of Florida, so in August of 1995 I moved to Iowa City sight unseen.  I have said this to everyone I have ever talked to about moving to Iowa, "As soon as I crossed the state line, I knew I was home."