Saturday, August 21, 2010;
same old me
its been a very long time since i last penned my thoughts in this space. alot of things happened within this 8 mths of 2010 and i really cant recall much anymore.. so i shall jus briefly update on my current life den.
im still the same. stuck in the same old place, same old pace, same old ME. haven change much i mus say. and i duno if its gd or bad, to be still the same me. everybody's changing, moving on fast.. sometimes im really afraid. afraid dat im losing out to everyone else. (not dat im competing wid anyone, but i jus dun wana be left behind)
working life is very routine. changing workscopes and i foresee alot of changes coming.. for the better or worst, i have no idea. up till now, i still have no idea wad am i doing for the past 3 yrs. maybe im working for the sake of money, for the sake of living. but, one thing for sure, i dun wana be like this for the rest of my life.. (the funniest part of everything is dat while im working for the sake of money, the money i earned is hardly negligible)
should i work harder for myself? if im gonna stay in this industry, im gonna start planning to improve myself. or if im really not interested in this work, i should really get my ass to leave. if not, i will always be at the same place. not moving on at all..
i see my frens all moving on to somewhere higher and i feel inferior. even to bf, he's moving on fast. he'll be graduating nxt yr wid a degree. a barrier apart frm me.. imagine, jus within one yr, his pay is higher den me alrdy. wad is my 3yrs of working exp for...
im a letdown to myself i feel. i hv these thoughts in my head but i nv really get down to it. its all talk and no action. jus like i say i wana slim down. have i slim down??? definately a big no since im not doing anything. no exercise, no control of diet. tell me hw can i slim down this way???
i really should exercise some self control on myself..
anw, enuff abt me. sidetrack abit, bf and me had a car accident on 31july. the experience is scary and i dun even wana recall the details. the first few nite aft the accident, i kept remembering hw we hit the car, and it was hard to get to slp. even the airbag came out for both of us.
though very unlucky dat we will hv this car accident, come to think abt it, actually we're considered very lucky dat we're unhurt. his dad said, "airbag come out very serious liao.. u two very lucky dat u're ok.."
i told my mum abt it and she was shocked. (afew days later den tell her cos i scared she will worry)
so now, i make it a point to ask bf to slow down and not to drive fast.. never wana have dat kind of fear again...
and to encourage myself for the rest of 2010:
jia you to me! :))Labels: working for my future
Saturday, December 26, 2009;
baby's birthday
its baby's birthday today!! woke up earlier to prepare mian xian for him. haha, alrite la. at least its edible. i will improve!! ;)
gave baby all the presents i bought. i sure hope he likes it!! cause i really love the gift he bought for my birthday this yr.. its really really nice. but its kinda over the budget we set for ourselves. oh well.. as usual!
anw, we "pre-celebrated" his birthday yest. cut the cake i bought and plus i gave him all his birthday pressy on christmas eve itself. the ice-cream cake is yummy! haha..
duno where we're gona celebrate his birthday today. maybe dinner for 2 at some nice restaurant?? we shall see..
;)))Labels: dearest birthday
Sunday, December 20, 2009;
conclusion on yr 2009, new resolution for 2010
2009 is gonna be over in another 2 weeks time. abit early to conclude yr 2009 but i shall still do so. since i have the time nw, might as well. haha
as usual, before i post my new yr resolutions for yr 2010, i shall conclude on my yr 2009.
i searched through my entries for the resolutions i made for 2009 and im glad i actually achieved some of them, though not all.
Quoted frm 7th jan 2009 entry :
as for my 2009 resolutions, here goes..
yr 2009, i wanna:
1) be happy everyday (most impt ting i guess)
2) get my driving licence
3) go travelling
4) stop throwing temper
5) "ORD lo" wid baby :)
6) save money (at least 1k more in our acc)
7) be hardworking
strike off items are those i've achieved. kinda proud of myself. hahaha, no la. actually not very much of my effort cos some sof the resolutions actually require no effort from my side. =x but definately my driving licence, my travelling plans and saving of money is my effort! i worked hard for my licence, my travel expenses and my savings okie!!
i mus admit i didnt get to acheive being happy everyday. canot bluff myself say yr 2009 is a very happy yr for me, dat everyday was happy. if i said so, it would be bluffing to myself. i did not stop throwing temper. confirm by baby! :( sometimes its really not within my control..
hardworking wise, i tried to be. but sometimes procrastination always got the better of me..
yr 2009, we got our first pet rabbit named "mini". first time being the owner of a pet, our pet. new responsibility handed to me since im the one taking care of our pet. dun tink im a really gd owner bt shldnt be dat bad since mini became "gigantic". hahaha
and yes i've passed and got my driving licence! close to a yr alrdy. two more months to go and i need not hang the "dumpling" on his car anymore :)
yr 2009, extracted my first wisdom tooth! hate extractions and i rmbed baby's not dere wid me! :( haha, but forget it. shall hope dats the last extraction i need.
annddd, i said ORD lo wid baby!!! so happy he ord le. at least no need to see him suffer anymore. he will have more freedom and most imptly more time for me!!!! ;)
ord means work and studies for baby. baby started his work and studies. can see dat its really tough to manage both work and studies tgt. sometimes seeing him so xinku really very heartpain. but baby says its for our future :)
yr 2009 we went back to taiwan again! love taiwan alot alot. esp the food dere. haha, i guess we will still go back to taiwan again in the future..
anw, yr 2009 was pretty much the same to me since not much major changes in my daily lifestyle i sld say. but i guess it sld be a pretty big difference for baby since this yr is the start of his career, start of his working life and his studies.. jiayou baby!! will be supporting always..
dat pretty much sums up my 2009! now for my yr 2010 resolutions..
yr 2010, i wanna :
1) be happy everyday (i tink this will be my top priority every yr)
2) pass my 3rd insurance paper and get my cert
3) stop throwing temper
4) save at least 1k more in our acc
5) go travelling
6) slim down!!
shorter list this yr cause i really cant tink of anything much anymore..
baby's birthday is coming in another 6 days! of cos mine too! ;) we got ourselves each a budget of $200 buckks. though the things im gonna get him will be simple, i do hope he'll like wad im buying for him. and his cake! i've alrdy ordered his cake! haha. a birthday sld always hv a birthday cake - dats wad i told him.
on a very happy note, will be working only 3 1/2 days this week! i smell my long weekend coming!! :)Labels: conclusion, new yr resolutions
Wednesday, December 16, 2009;
back again
back frm taiwan! dun be mistaken by the exclaimation mark "!" cos obviously im not excited being back in singapore. haha
the short break in taiwan was good. in fact, GREAT. everynite strolling the nite market wid baby and company was really v v relaxing.. erm, actually not very "relaxing" as in we're all aching from walking too much. hahaha, but definately so much better den in sg doing all those work which made me so upset.
visited some places in taiwan which we din get to do so the previous time. free and easy travel is so much better den tour guided travel cos we have much free time by ourselves. dere are pros and cons i must admit. one of the cons i guess should be dat we have to plan our itinery by ourselves which my baby did v well! applauds for him ;)
tried smelly toufu "臭豆腐". it's so smelly even in the mouth. dun like it. we shared the toufu and we din finished it. 1plus plus outta 4 finished. the rest? to the dustbin!
and we eat alot of street food. those 路边摊! super love the fooddddd. din managed to buy alot of things back. only some small gifts for good frens and relatives. but, our luggage was still v heavy! duno why -.-
anw, back to singapore = back to reality. work's pretty much the same. everyday rushing to do as much as possible. the good thing is dat today, i just handed in the proj test cases for my part. bad thing is i havent really finish it. still have to continue doing as i've said dat i would try my best to give it asap. which means, still hv to burn hrs doing it. damnnnnnn
christmas is coming. having the holiday mood alrdy. cant wait for christmas to come. not becos of the celebration, (i dont really celebrate christmas in fact) but becos of the long weekend!! cant wait for the long rest ;)
baby's birthday is coming real soon! have no idea wad to buy for him yet. maybe something practical and simple. mine's coming too! haha. gonna be one yr older AGAIN. dun really like the idea of my age increasing. haha, but wad to do!
2009 will be ending in another 2 weeks? i shall conclude my yr 2009 and start my 2010 resolution. be back soonn!! :)Labels: untitled
Wednesday, November 25, 2009;
unhappy
hasnt been able to blog regularly though sometimes i really feel like blogging. those times when i really feel like stopping whatever im doing just to blog.
i been feeling very worked up these days. or shld i say since last week. i know my temper hasnt been gd, ppl ard me can sense it. me too, though i just keep it at the back of my mind. i want to be nice to ppl but i cant help being "not-so-nice".
I REALLY CANOT TAKE IT. I FEEL VERY VERY STRESS. SOMETIMES I JUS WANA BREAK DOWN AND CRY OUT LOUD!! YES JUST CRY OUT LOUDLY. DUN CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHERS MAY THINK OF ME OR HOW THEY MIGHT LOOK AT ME. I REALLY FREEAAKKING DUN CARE!!! WHY IS EVERYTHING ME ME ME???? ISNT DERE ANY OTHERS DAT CAN TAKE THE LOAD OF ME?? I FEEL REALLY STRESS BUT WHO KNOWS?? THEY THINK DAT IM ABLE TO DO IT, IM JUST AFRAID THEY PLACED THEIR HOPES TOO HIGH ON ME. SORRY IF DATS THE CASE. I CANT HELP IT. I JUST DO WAD I CAN. DATS WAD I CAN SAY.
sorry for the outbreak. i needed it. i need some place to throw out my unhappiness and temper. i shld really try to control my temper instead of giving everyone the face that they owe me something. im sorry.
i shall stop here. need to rest early, recharge my battery for the battle tmr. i shall try my best to finish off wad i can before i go on my break.. dats the best i can do..
no worries abt me, i'll be fine. just v fed up wid work and dats abt everyting dat irritates me. other den dat, everything's okie and fine. singing and drinking makes me forget work. even for dat short few hrs only.Friday, October 23, 2009;
exam period for him
baby's having his exams soon. his temper is kinda short-fused these days. i wish i can do more to help him but i cant. dere is practically noth i can do to help except not to disturb him. i duno if i should stay by his side to support him or just be by myself without disturbing him. maybe i should just stay away from him.
sigh
:(Labels: exam
Thursday, September 24, 2009;
my cooking
been trying to cook myself dinner these days. partly is becos my mum never cook, partly is becos i really have no idea wad to eat for dinner. so i jus anyhow cook something to satisfy my hunger. not really hungry these days also, maybe dats why can just make do with anything. haha..
anw, tues i cook prawn wanton soup (those instant one dat u can buy in ntuc) with mee sua. two words to describe. "NOT NICE." seriously, im being very frank. cause its very tasteless. maybe my inexperience - i put in too much water.
yest went dating with baby so din cook myself dinner, which is good. cause i really duno how to cook. hahaha. had cafe cartel at bishan. food wasnt fantastic but it was still O.K. its the company dat matters :)
we had movies after dinner. watched "whiteout". its quite a nice show i would say. the genre definately is one which bf likes. finish movies and its home sweet home. love dating with babyy. hw i wish we can date everyday. hahahaha, greedy me.
today's dinner is cooked by ME again. mum nv cook again, plus no apetite. so i dun really wana eat outside food, i feel dat its too oily. so smart me come out with the idea of cooking porridge with canned food. alvin lazy to buy food downstairs so join me for my porridge.
i cooked porridge with those chicken broth cube to enhance the taste abit. den put in the prawn wantons, lots of mushrooms (i super love mushrooms) and an egg. haha, den open one canned food to go along with the porridge. btw, super throw face. till now, i still dun really noe how to open the canned food with can opener. lousy, ya i noe!! so i asked my bro to help me with it -.-
porridge was abit bland so i guess next time i can put more of the chicken broth cube. but overall, two words to describe again. "NOT BAD!" hahahahaha
feel kinda accomplished. i actually can cook myself. though not very nice, but which chef started out in the first place cooking very nice food? none right? all still have to go through time and training. so, im training, training training!!
so baby, stop complaining dat next time u wont have nice food to eat. cause i will LEARN!
im sure i will be a good wife in future. 100% :)Labels: learning to cook
