I remembered posting an article weeks back and I was surprised by the number and intensity of responses to it. I am not going to tell what post it was but it is still in my blog here. The reason? Simply t not broadcast the name of the person who made this reaction. It did struck me badly! I thought I am the only one who think this way but I have seen that most of the young Filipinos abroad have parallel thinking as of mine.

I’ll just post it here to see the real sentiment of some persons who reacted to one of my posts. I will never edit them. If I remembered it good, there are at least two of them. I see how some of you react to it and I will be happy to see the statistics what kind of reaction comes from who and from where..

Here they go..

I totally agree with you!!! I’ve often critiqued the Filipino parents’ mentality myself.

I am a 22-year old Filipino student in Canada about to graduate from university this year and youngest of two children.

What is bugging me recently is how my mom and her partner tries to manipulate the way I think regarding the financial and social responsibilities that I should keep in mind and should fulfill even after I move out of their place.

These financial responsibilities include:
1. Letting my mom retire early.
2. Give monthly allowance to parents.
3. Help them pay off their mortgage.
4. Send my OLDER IRRESPONSIBLE sister to school and pay off her $13,000 debts.
5. Pay for my own god-damn $30,000 student loan myself.
6. Sponsor at least one relative from the Philippines to Canada.
7. Send at least one relative to university in the Philippines.
8. Take over my mom’s financial responsibility by sending monthly allowance to her siblings, my cousins and other ‘poor’ relatives back home.

I am also expected to get a $40,000 salary right after graduation, my salary must be higher than their salaries combined. My boyfriend should also be rich and not someone who is also on student loan, which is the case (my 4-year bf is also expected to finish paying her mom’s mortgage and pay for his younger brother’s school; her mom also has a partner but he doesn’t pay shit for anything because he thinks her children should do those things for her).

I don’t plan nor intend to follow any of these traditional Filipino shit. I don’t mind helping my parents with household work nor giving them expensive gifts or even money on mother’s day, birthdays and Christmas, BUT it definitely should not go as far as the ridiculous monthly allowance nor the whole paying off their mortgage thing! What the fuck will be left for my own fucking mortgage, utility bills, food, gas in addition to the cost of raising children!?!?! Do they even think of how expensive the standard of living in Toronto is?! Or how about my own plans for my future children like sending them to prestigious schools, sending them abroad to study, and paying for their undergraduate, masters and postdoctoral education!?!

I hope to end this whole typecasting of Filipinos as socially and financially-disadvantaged race in Canada who only works as nannies or who are mostly found in retail, factory, hotels, and restaurants! Invest in your children’s fucking education for fuck sake. Send your children to PRIVATE SCHOOLS. Hire a tutor if you must. Help your children with their homework. Get involved in their school activities and find out about the school curriculum to see whether it is right for your kids. Send your kids to piano lessons, valet lessons, and what not. And most importantly, don’t have more than 1 child if you know you can’t afford it!!!

Filipino parents in Canada should also stop emphasizing the GREAT OPPORTUNITIES and the HUGE INCOME that their children will get once they’ve managed to graduate in this so-called land of opportunity. Can’t we have a better conversation that is more productive like discussing school-related things and plans for further education? A discussion on current problems faced by Filipinos for instance instead of always saying that their children are so lucky to be in Canada? Clearly, ideas like these penetrate into the minds of newcomers who find themselves working as janitors, earning an hourly wage that is perhaps higher than the wage of doctors back home, and will say to themselves, “yeah, this job isn’t so bad after all.”, and next thing you know you are a 65-year old who have not really accomplished anything FOR KEEPS. There are better things than working as a janitor in Canada. Filipinos should stop comparing their income to the income of those back home, because in the first world people can earn up to $300, 000 as professionals if they would only invest their time and money on education instead of the $30-$35,000 average income that you can get as nannies, janitors, etc.
I am not saying these things to make some Filipinos feel bad or to discriminate against my own race but I am simply stating what I think is wrong with Filipinos’ mentality. So maybe instead of trying to look on the “bright” side of things by comparing your situation to the situation of those in the third world, why don’t you compare your situation to those in the first world? Look at the filthy rich Jewish lawyers and doctors for instance. Let’s stop attributing our situation to our colonial past, corrupted officials, and to the financial obligations that we have to our relatives back home, because to some extent, Filipinos invoke these things as an excuse for their failure to go beyond what they are capable of doing.

I appreciate your blog entry so much. I am glad to know that there are other Filipinos who think the way I do regarding the family structure and system of Filipinos. I hope blogs like this one are read by the many young Filipinos, especially Filipino parents.

This is another:

minsan alam nyo hindi "tulong" ang tawag dyan sa tinutukoy nyo eh, as this blog said "crab mentality" talaga. kasi minsan pag nagpapadala kami ng pera sa Pilipinas para lang i-abswelto kung ano mang' kataratuduhan ginawa ng iba naming kamag-anak don.

biruin nyo afford nga nilang mag-computer at mag-internet tapos pagdating sa sarili nila i-aasa pa sayo. ang mga taong tinutulungan ay yung mga: may kapansanan, lumpo, bulag, walang kamay at paa, na-aksidenteng tao, na-sunugan ng bahay at kung ano ano pa.

basta yung mga minalas sa buhay at hinde yung mga iresponsable at tangang tao na anak lang ng anak tapos i-aasa lang lahat sa mas masikap sa kanila. lahat naman ng nakatira sa ibang bansa ay may parehong access sa opportunity para baguhin sitwasyon nila.

pero magtataka kung bakit ang dami parin mga pilipinong kabataan ngayon sa ibang bansa na hinde nagsusumikap sa pag-aaral at pagta-trabaho. kaya tingin ko crab mentality talaga ang mostly filipino.

kapag alam kasi ng isang taong may maasahan sila, mas aasa pa sila at magpapahirap dahil alam nilang tutulungan parin sila kahit papano...at saka, kung narirealize pala ng mga pinoy sa pilipinas ang totoong hirap sa buhay, e bakit nagko-contribute parin sila sa hirap ng buhay nila? tulad nga ng pag-aanak ng madami at hinde pagsusumikap sa pag-aaral. madalas inaatupag pagba-barkada, inuman at pagso-syota.

ewan ko, masyado lang kasi tong' nakakapagtaka. ang taong alam ang totoong hirap, magpupursige dapat diba at hinde magpapahirap ng iba.

By the way,if one of these days, I cannot log here and wont be able to visit your sites upon each visit you make, simply buzz me here. When I can settle again and have a connection, I will be happy to visit your sites and read your posts or make comments. I’d love to return the effort and favor you make. Or, as I always do, I visit your blogs or sites but I am just having difficulties making a note in cbox or a comment with the mobile phone. It is very time consuming and a bit uncomfy. See you soon… Just leave a note here so it wont be lost. Because in my shoutmix, if in case many of you will leave comments, it tends to go away since I am not a premium member…Sorry for that.

Afraid to be poor? Afraid to be down? Why don't you pull your friends with you so you are not alone? Why don't you pull your neighbors down so you have companions? This is the usual understanding and explanation of a "crabness" or crab mentality. "If I cannot have it, no one must have it." When a crab doesn't want to get cooked inside a cooking pot or"kawali" or anything for cooking, they pull each other for survival or simply to get even but in the end, they all get cooked! This is the same situation in the Philippines. In short, INGGIT!

But is this really the case? The one that I see which is the biggest hindrance to the success of Filipinos is a little revision of this so called "crab mentality". It it not INGGIT per se but the "asa" thing. I do hate this concept and system in the country. I HATE IT SO MUCH! I know a lot of my readers and a lot of you may disagree but this is how I see it.

In a family where there are four children (typical of a Pinoy family), and of course, a mother and a father. The mother and father let (or force) child number 1 to study....study...study...study and make your life better. Then you will let your younger siblings study with your income. This we start with parents' irresponsibilities again. Because for me, the total welfare of the children are all the responsibilities of the parents. NOT of the other child, especially the older one.

Kuya/Ate has graduated and must spend for the other younger siblings. Also MUST give some amount to parents. While kuya/ate suffers from debts, tiredness and overtime and cannot even make even a 2% savings of her income, Nanay and Tatay are so proud of Kuya/Ate for he/she is the breadwinner now. And the younger siblings enjoy their allowance, spend here, smoke there and drink everywhere.

Kuya/Ate grow old with responsibility. At times, the younger siblings are not able to graduate because after all, kuya/ate is there to give money and provide. And kuya/ate who strived hard HAS NO WAY to improve his/her own life. Has no way to breath better, has no way to invest in his/her future. And this situation is not only one in the country...almost all. And among the four children, there is no one who becomes "better off" in life. When kuya/ate gets married, the parents feel bad. Yes, they don't have enough enjoyment of kuya/ate's remittance yet. And when Kuya/Ate starts a family, he/she must start from zero, debts, without investment and poor. And the cycle goes on and on and on and no improvement. And now we ask why majority of the Filipinos are poor? Just see at the syste, I have explained.

I can see that Filipinos can be caring and loving but all is priced with money. Only hypocrites do not admit this. Parents want their children to have rich spouse, or have better work...mostly because they are expecting something back. I hate the family system in my country. I have to tell. I hate the family system in Philippines. Where one relies to one in the family who has resources, where one of the family member has a chance to be better, the rich of the family is pulling him/her down. And the rest of the family become irresposnsible because the breadwinner is there. But overall, it is how the parents teach the children. The children are brainwashed and really feel that it is their responsibilty when in fact, it is the parents' responsibility. And if you/kuya/ate has little and save for herself/himself and just give out just enough, you/kuya/ate is already bad in the eyes of the public. THIS IS AN INJUSTICE THAT EVERYONE IN THE PHILIPPINES TOLERATES!




I do hope a law will be passed in the country that if a parent cannot make their child/children graduate in school of at least two years college, they will be imprisoned. In this way, population will be controlled and potential irresponsible parents wont F_CK simply to create a child without responsibility. I cannot tell how many of the parents in the country are irresponsible. But i can say AT LEAST seventy-five percent. This is my observation and you can comment what you have observed. You are welcome here.