dusting things off

I'm pretty sure I've used that metaphor before. When I leave this space quiet for too long I come in and dust it off and start working again.

So here I am, early spring cleaning.

I've been really getting into a few blogs lately. Reading back and back and back, learning women's stories. Seeing their lives.  Getting inspired. Feeling a little creepy. But mostly, getting inspired.

So here I am.

 The new year has come and gone. Unceremoniously. Digitally as I didn't mention it here. And literally as I fell asleep on the couch at 11pm on New Year's Eve.

I've dug into my new planner and so far, I feel fairly on top of the new year. My husband thinks it's ridiculous that I still use a paper planner. But most of the features of my smart phone are completely lost on me (and most of the time my phone is lost anyway) so paper it is.

Do you choose a word for the year? I have in the past but I never do anything with them. So I didn't pick one this year.

But if I did, it would have something to do with growing or flourishing or being intentional.

But mostly, I want to focus on small victories this year. Flossing my teeth. Washing my face. Eating real food. Not biting my nails. Forcing my child out of the bathroom while I pee because I deserve like 2 minutes by myself. The little things.

Maybe my word should be "self-care." I want to focus a tiny bit on being a better version of the already amazing self that I already am. I want to be able to take care of my family a bit better than I did last year. And I want to spend a bit more time as a hands-on mama of a crazy 2-year-old. Because, truly, he's the best thing there is.

Clutter

Do you ever feel like you're just drowning in clutter? Straight up fighting to get air from under the dirty dishes, piles of paper, laundry.

And books. So many books.

And it seems like I'm not alone. So many women on my instagram feed and blog roll are fighting the good fight against excess mess and excess stuff.

Two of my favorite ladies have talked about it this season.

Ruth (who is simply amazing) shares her perspective in At The Root of Clutter.

She starts off saying something that hits me hard.

And so I purchase baskets, and boxes, and labels, and sorters. And they help. But sometimes a chaotic home is a reflection of a chaotic mind, and sometimes a chaotic mind is a reflection of a chaotic home. Do you know the vicious cycle I speak of? Buying more tools for organization doesn't simply make the mess go away-- not on the dresser, not in the closet, and not in our overwhelmed minds and hearts.

Oh.my.gosh. Truth right there. I can't help to feel anxious when I come home to a messy house - and I can't help but let my home go when my mind is elsewhere.

But how do we find a balance?

So many times I've looked where it seems Ruth has looked. I think "how can I better organize ____" and I come home with the tools that I think will help.

When really, I need to get to the root of clutter and send things out the door instead of bringing things in.

Rachel from Finding Joy (one of my daily reads) says what I need to hear in the first sentence of her post Clear the Clutter.

Stuff can suffocate joy.

Oh my.

Rachel goes on to talk about taking charge of the clutter so it's "easier for us to operate out of joy."

I want to operate out of joy!!

I've done quite a bit already. Donated duplicates. Thought critically about my closet. Tried to limit my sentimentality towards objects and think more about function (which is really hard for me).

Just because it's cute, doesn't mean it has a place in my home.

How have you struggled against clutter? And if you haven't, well, I'd love to know your secret.

Told you we had a lot of books.

So Sleepy

I am so sleepy. All the time. And I'm tired of it.

I'm tired of being tired.

I went in last week for a regular thyroid check, and my levels came back low. My medication was switched and adjusted, and I've been on it for a few days, but I am still so tired.

I told Kyle this morning that I have two settings lately: it's night time and I'm tired and I must sleep so I go to sleep, or it's daytime and I'm so tired and I want to sleep but I can't.

I could seriously sleep until 2015.

And I know, you're thinking "you're a mom, you're tired, it's normal." But you know, I really have no excuse. Sam's a great sleeper and rarely wakes us up. I'm not a night owl and I'm in bed by 10pm. But in the morning I hold on to my bed as long as possible until Sam is like "no really, momma, I'm 5 seconds from climbing out of this crib" and I have just enough time to take a fast shower, make crappy lunches, and put my shoes on in the car.

Are any of you sleepy sleepersens like me? What have you done to get a jolt of energy?

Here are a few of my goals as it relates to sleep:
First, I would like to get up on time.
Then, I would like to get up without hitting snooze.
Then, way in the future, I'd like to get up early. Like drinking coffee in a quiet home with my bible kind of early.

So baby steps, ya'll. Baby steps.

And because every blog post needs a picture.

Get it, he's sleeping.

Quiet Time

I find myself longing for more quiet time. As a mom, I don't have enough.

But you, know, that's a lie.

I do have time for quiet time. It's just that I don't make it a priority. Yes, a lot of my time is filled with the chores of every day life. But there is time in my day that I just waste - blatantly and ridiculously. 

I try to justify my wasted time by saying that my mind is too tired for "quiet time." This TV show or that internet game (Candy Crush, oh geez) will help me quiet down for the day. 

But in reality, but I need, what my soul needs, is real, reflective quiet time.

Our small group is going through Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Chapter three, The Day Alone, is all about the need for quiet time. Bonhoeffer's book is all about living in community, so it was strange to see a chapter about being alone in the midst of a book about living with others. He says, "Let him who cannot be alone beware of community."

I have long viewed quiet time as "me time," the shutting off of my brain, melting into the couch, weary at the end of the day. But the wasted time at the end of the day doesn't feed me like intentional, well-spent quiet moments.

"Silence is the simple stillness of the individual... nothing else but waiting for God's word and coming from God's word with a blessing."

Bonhoeffer outlines "three purposes for which the Christian needs a definite time when he can be alone during the day: scripture meditation, prayer, and intercession."

Scripture meditation: Bonhoeffer calls us to not read scripture as generic words, but to "read God's Word as God's Word for us." Scripture reading and meditation is a personal process, hearing God speaking directly to our heart and experiences.

Prayer: "We pray for the clarification of our day, for preservation from sin, for growth in sanctification, for faithfulness and strength in our work." When I am at a loss of how to pray, Bonhoeffer sums it up sweetly - I love his outline and can see if revealing so much.

Intercession: I often find myself writing down the struggles and prayers of others and never returning to those pages. How do I even begin praying for other? "Intercession means no more than to bring our brother into the presence of God, to see him under the cross of Jesus."

How do you use "quiet time," and how do you make it a priority in your day?

An Update

I feel like eating clean and whole foods is like a little secret - you don't realize just how amazing you will feel until you do it.

We all know that eating real food is good and processed food is bad, but for so long, it didn't matter. I knew it but I wasn't ready to admit it.

Well I've stumbled upon this life-changing secret, and I can tell you that a few weeks after I declared my mission to get healthy, I've honestly never felt better.

I think about food differently.
For so long I ate because I was bored, or emotional, stressed, or lonely. I rarely thought about the connection between what I ate and how I felt. Subconsciously I knew that my eating habits were zapping my energy, but I didn't know where to start making changes.

But then a switch flipped, and I started making one healthy choice per meal, and slowly I started to feel (and see) real differences.

Feeling better, feeling lighter, feeling more awake and energized, has been such good motivation to keep it up!

I think about food less often.
I thought about food all the time. At work, sitting in front of the computer, I thought about what I wanted to eat, talked myself in and out of grabbing something from the food court. I ran to Starbucks for a muffin because I didn't plan my lunch well.

I feel like all I thought about was food. What I wanted to eat, what I should eat, convincing myself I deserve a treat, convincing myself to restrain.

Surprisingly, now that I've cut out so much processed food and crap from my diet (and eating to sustain my energy and health, instead of emotional eating), I've now started to crave veggies at lunch, smoothies in the morning, good stuff. I don't feel like I'm denying myself anything.

I eat more food.
It is amazing how much food you eat when you start eating real food.

I used to bring such horrible lunches - I never knew what to pack, and my measly lunch left me hungry (and running to the vending machine or food court) a few hours later.

I've seen a great shift in my eating now that I take a few minutes to plan our my food for the day. I have a smoothie in the morning (or make oatmeal at work if I'm in a rush). Today for lunch I packed a slice of lean turkey and a slice of cheese, celery and peanut butter, and a tomato and cucumber salad for lunch, I had grapes for a mid-morning snack, and I'll have an apple around 3:30. If I spread my lunch out over the course of the day, I am so much more inclined to eat healthy and not crave junk come 4pm.

I feel stronger.
I feel so good. Truly. I feel stronger and lighter. Things fit better. I've been sleeping better (although I still hate waking up). I've had more energy. And, my favorite part, I think I've been happier. I sometimes struggle with finding joy throughout the day, but as I've been treating myself better, I think my perspective and attitude has shifted for the better.

I have a happy stomach.
Ok, seriously, this is so amazing. I have had major tummy troubles in the past - like not being able to leave the house for fear of being too far from a bathroom. My insides were constantly shifting between being so very sick to being so very stopped-up. This may seem gross to some, but to those who struggle with stomach issues, it can be debilitating.

Since shifting my diet, my stomach has been amazing. No more fear of eating away from home. No more sluggish stomach aches.

Next up...running.
Last night I did the first day of Couch to 5k. It was amazing. I ran through our neighborhood (so much better than on a treadmill) and loved being outside that I hardly noticed the time passing. I woke up actually looking forward to running today.

Wow, ok, so much good stuff happening. I haven't been this proud of myself in quite a while. I've been thinking a lot lately how I really do control the healthy habits of my family (organizing time exercising, grocery shopping, planning meals), and it's vital that I do the very best I can. This has been such an important realization for me as I walk this journey to a happier, healthier life.

On a Mission

You know when you've done something for so long and it's left you feeling bad? Not necessarily an every day, all day, conscious kind of bad. More of a numb feeling, like you're stuck and can't figure out the first steps to get your self out?

That's where I found myself a little over a month ago with food. I had just finished my second ice cream sundae contemplating even more. Why not? My pants were already feeling tight. My stomach wasn't feeling great, but it hadn't been for so long. I've had a long day/it's going to be a long night/Sam's been a stinker/I just deserve it.

I have always had very little self control when it came to food, but I was finding myself at rock bottom.

I'm not really sure what shook me out of it, but one day I found myself ordering a salad. The next I ate my hamburger without a bun. I started making a green smoothie every morning. I added tons of raw veggies to our fridge (with homemade greek yogurt dip). My savory pinterest board started to look a little different. I cut out pasta and bread. I started drinking lots more water. I made spaghetti squash and loved it. I lost a few pounds. Hell, I bought a bikini.

But most importantly, I have never felt better.

I've always had stomach issues, and it's taken a lot to start healing my tummy, but I think I'm absolutely on the right track. Since I started eating drastically different than my normal, I can tell when something triggers a stomach ache. I can set better limits. And when I have one weekend where I eat anything I want and get super duper sick, well, I'm even more motivated to continue eating simple, clean food.

Have you had any success with changing your perspective on food? Any tips or tricks? I'd love to hear your thoughts as I start this new journey.

I've always been one to roll my eyes at people when I see that their trying to eat healthy. Or laugh out loud at the millions of my friends who run marathons each week. But you know what, I signed up for Race for the Cure in September, and I'm going to actually try to run it. Watch out world, it's amazing what I can do when I put my mind to it!

This is a girl on a mission.

Well, really this is a terrible selfie in the bathroom where I work. But also, a girl on a mission.

Motherhood is Messy

Sam loves playing in the dirt. He loves using his garden tools to scoop it up. He loves sitting in it and covering up his legs. He throws dirt around. It gets in his hair. It sticks to his sloppy face. Baths are happening a lot to get off the dirt from the day's play.

And I love it!

It's no secret that motherhood is messy. From the poop and spit-up, spilled milk and every toy pulled down from the bookshelf.

It's also emotionally messy. 

Patience is often in short supply. We say "I'm sorry" a lot, because mistakes seem to happen more frequently these days. You have to navigate "me" time and "us" time and "family" time, but realize, at the end of the day, that no matter what time it is, it's going too quickly.

Every minute Sam is awake, he is on the go! He has so much energy and can get into things he shouldn't in record time.

But no matter how hard or frustrating or tiring the day was, when we get Sam to sleep, and hour later I want to go in and wake him up. I miss him.

Playing in the dirt, sloppy kisses, dinner on the deck, scraped knees, grass stains - I'm loving this fun and messy life.

Hello Monday

Heavens, I've let this place get dusty again.

We're getting over our winter blues as it seems like spring is here to stay -- today's April showers of proof of that.

Today I'm saying hello to another work week. Trying to cram in many, many things to not enough hours.

Hello colorful spot on my desk and a love note from my honey. Did you know that Kyle and I work in the same building? Amazing how things work out.

Hello morning routine. I'm the first one in the office in the morning. Before taking off my coat, I make coffee.

Work has been quiet, and there are times I wish I was back at home with Sam. But the routine is nice. Our family does so much better on a schedule, and working and daycare provide that for us.

What are you saying hello to this week?

...And I don't even feel bad about it

[Some days my living room looks like this, and I don't even feel bad about it. This is just our collection of board books, by the way.]

I recently read an article on The Bump about various confessions from new moms. Hilarious!

Some of my favorites:

"I am rear-facing my kid as long as possible, not really for the safety benefits, but so she can't see me eating snacks and drinking soda." -- Marsha W. I can relate. Sam knows what the milkshakes from Chick-Fil-A look like and I have to be all secretive and drink them in the kitchen while he plays in the living room. Momma doesn't always like to share.

"Once, when my baby was asleep, I took the baby monitor to my neighbor’s house so that I could get out of the house and have some girly time (and a glass of wine with my friend)." --Susan O. Yup, done that. I was closer to Sam sitting in my neighbor's living room than I am when I sit in my own living room.

"I teach my boys how to make armpit farts while they are in the bathtub (a life skill all boys need to have!)." -- Shelly C. We taught Sam how to say the word "poop" the other day. 

“I accidentally walked outside with one of my boobs hanging out about once a week or so. My teenage neighbors are going to be sad when my son weans.” -- Aimee K. Ok, I've never done that before. But, back when I was nursing, I walked around the mall for a good 10 minutes before I realized my nursing pad was hanging out of my shirt.

And, I don't even feel bad about it.

I'd love to know: anything you want to fess up to?

Lately

We've spent a lot of days home with that little cow poke lately. Last week we battled another round of illness. I would have given anything for your run-of-the-mill cold, but no, we got hit with a skin infection.

What started as hand foot and mouth turned into herpetic eczema. You can see remnants of it on Sam's hands in the photo. It's a rare disease, potentially very serious. Luckily we caught it early. Also lucky for us, it coincided with snow days.

I woke up last Wednesday with my very own case of HFM. That night, out of desperation, I asked my mom to come save us. She flew in on Sunday and has been taking great care of us!

Back to work and school. Hoping we can stay healthy until, like, March.

How have you been lately?

Why Sometimes I Really Hate Pinterest

this is real life, ya'll. i can't make this stuff up.

Tell me I'm not the only one that has a love/hate relationship with Pinterest.

I love the inspiration. Plain and simple. I search for recipes. Look up crafts. There are pretty pictures and quotes. And sometimes people pin baby animals. Who wouldn't love baby animals.

But then there's the dark side of Pinterest. The side that everyone feels but no one really talks about.

The part where Pinterest makes you feel like absolute shit. Oops, but it had to be said. Sometimes [a lot of the time] Pinterest makes me feel really, really lousy.

Pinterest makes me feel worthless.

I don't think I'll ever be able to live up to the standards set forth on Pinterest. The decorating and organizing and crafting. Homemade everything. There just aren't enough hours in the day for all the things that make it onto my Pinterest feed.

My house doesn't look like their houses.
My kid doesn't dress like their kids.
My life isn't as cute as their life.

Oh the web of lies we weave when comparing our lives to those lived out online.

Pinterest makes me feel like I'm not doing enough.

I once saw a pin about how to decorate your bathroom for Christmas. I about died.
Bathroom? I didn't even put up a tree this year.

Another pin was showing me how to fold a bath towel.
Really, I'm not even doing that right?

I find the more time I devote to peeking into others lives on Pinterest, the more of a failure I feel.

Pinterest makes me feel like I own too much stuff, but also that I don't own enough.

One minute I'm reading a post about how to organize your whole house in a day (do they have a magic wand??) and I'm thinking "oh my gosh, I own way to much stuff. I need a printable about this!"

The next minute I'm looking at pictures talking about organizing your closet and I think "look at all the handbags and sunglasses perfectly lined up. I need to get me some of those so I can organize them!"

What is wrong with me? This back and forth internal dialogue about how much stuff I have and don't have is wearing me out.

So what is a girl to do?

Stop the Pinterest madness, I want to get off!

I won't be breaking up with Pinterest anytime soon because, well, I still love it as a resource. But I do think we need to define our relationship a bit. Unfollow folks, clean up my boards, read with a grain of salt.

And get over it.

Some of my insecurities need to be thought about and prayed over. Others just need to be released.

My life may not always be "pin" worthy but I can say, with confidence that:
- my meals are made with love
- my house is decorated with love
- my family is intentionally focused on love
- my life, in all it's messy beauty, is wrapped in love

I'd love to know: does Pinterest intimidate you? What do you do when insecurities get the best of you?

Back to Work

On November first God opened a new door for our family, and I went back to work, full-time, outside of the home. [I've been trying hard to add the "outside of the home" part because being a stay-at-home mom is a full-time job and a half for sure.]

I was a pretty bad stay-at-home mom. I had my good moments. Good days, even. But all in all, I don't think I was cut out for the job.

It's taken a lot of prayer and searching to let go of the guilt I had surrounding those feelings. But once I did -- once I woke up and put on dress pants and heels, once I had meetings and responsibilities to other adults, once I was being relied on in a way that didn't include wiping bums -- once I got rid of the guilt, I never looked back.

So here's a bit of my professional history for those who care to know it:
School
Grad school
Full-time hall coordinator [living in the middle of 400 students, supervising staff, providing for the safety of human beings, making high stress decision, having really hard conversations]
Full-time mom (managing the house, cuddling, cleaning poop, preventing Sam from eating the cat's tail]
Full-time mom PLUS full-time administrative assistant [making copies, making coffee]

I joke with Kyle that I used to attend suicide prevention training. Now I attend training on how to use the Xerox machine.

It has been a very humbling experience for sure. I have a masters degree in college student development. I saw myself moving up the ladder at a university, gaining a broader and more complex set of responsibilities, going back for my PhD, all that jazz.

But that's just not where we are right now in our story. And although there are definitely days I need to check my ego at my office door [which is a joke because I don't have an office, I have a desk], I am head-over-heels in love with my job.

[lunch break material]

I love the people.
I love the level of responsibility I have [and that I don't have].
I love the flexibility I am given for family stuff.
I love the work I do.
I love the university.
I love commuting with my husband [we actually work in the same building].
I love missing my son and rejoicing every day when we pick him up at daycare.
I love that I have more energy for him when we're together.
I love that I feel a new sense of purpose when we're apart.

I definitely did not imagine this when I was sitting in my graduate school classrooms. But God knew it. It has been His plan all along.

I'd love to know: Are you a mom that works outside the home? How do you do it? Can I feature your thoughts/trips/tricks/struggles/joys in an upcoming post?

Contentment

For the last few years I've tried to pick a "word of the year" but it never works out. It's more like a word of the week because it never seems to last longer than that. I'd have to go back through old posts to even remember what my words were.

But here I am again, picking a word.

Contentment.

Lately I feel like I've been looking at the world through jealous eyes. I wrote a bit about my heart and how I am praying for the Lord to change it this year. A huge part of that is being content with where I am and who I am.

It's been a rough season of family life these past few weeks. We are a family of two working parents and a constantly sick kid (or at least it seems that way). It has been a practice in patience for our marriage and in our parenting. 

In difficult times it's easy to look with longing at what others seem to have. It's easy to be discontent in times of stress, illness, busyness, frugality, whatever.

I hope that at the end of 2014 I will be a more content, more grateful wife and mother. Living better with less. Happier with what is instead of what isn't. 

I'd love to know: did you pick a word this year?

p.s. One of my favorite blogs is Living Well Spending Less. Ruth shares her ideas about pursuing contentment and I just love it!

Worth 1000 Words

1/6/14: I attempted a green smoothie with Kale, strawberries, peaches, and other goodies. Yummy but turns out it's terrible for me and my thyroid. Anyone want some kale?

1/7/14: Sam had a fever for a week (more on that later) and out house was out of control. Sam's new favorite game is to put his hands on books and slide down the hallway. Pretty cute.

1/8/14: My new planner came in. Happy mail indeed.

1/9/14: I've been stitching up a storm and love the things I'm working on right now. This pattern is from The Tiny Modernist.

1/10/14: We spent the morning at the doctor with Sam on Friday. He was champ through blood work, nose swabs, and chest x-rays.

1/11/14: Sam is a huge fan of sitting like a big guy. He puts a book on the chair or couch and then pulls himself up to read it (usually has the book upside down).

1/12/14: What most of our mornings look like. PJs, milk, and cheerios. Sam's iron was low and we were told to push the cheerios, however, he's not a fan anymore (I don't blame him, he's been eating them everyday since he was 6 months). I got him Kix and he thinks he's in heaven.

I'd love to know: what have you been up to, friends?

Now What?

So I've come clean to you all. I've shared my goals for my home, my body, my heart, and my spirit.

Now what?

Grace.

That's what's next.

In the process of sharing with you all, I realized that grace is the thread that needs to run through all my resolutions. 

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God - Ephesians 2:8

 My goals are lofty, but the reward is great.

I will do what I can, grace will fill in where I can't.

I'd love to know: where do you need to give yourself more grace?

My Spirit

photo

[Continuing to come clean with you all about my goals for 2014. Last (but most importantly), my need to come back to God and focus on the spiritual side of things.]

"My determined purpose is to be my utmost for His highest - my best for His glory." Oswald Chambers

This right here sums up all  my goals and hopes and dreams for 2014. To journey toward this and only this.

All of the goals I've set out for my home, my body, and my heart can really be lumped into this last one -- to prayerfully strive toward the best version of myself in order to serve His ultimate purpose for my life.

God has put me in the places I am - in our home, our community, and at work. As a wife, mother, friend, daughter. All of these things are in His design.

I would like to work this year to be the utmost me for His glory.

So what does that look like? Oh geez, I know what it looks like, yet I find myself making so many excuses. Not enough time to read my bible. Too tired to pray. Too busy for community.

It looks like being honest with my time and getting rid of excuses.

Getting up earlier. Getting outside my comfort zone. Treating myself better to have more energy for important thing. The most important thing.

I'd love to know: what does Oswald Chambers' quote mean to you? Where will you begin?

My Heart

photo

 [Continuing to come clean with my goals for the new year]

And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. - Ezekiel 36:26

The last few weeks of 2013 revealed something in me that I didn't really like seeing: a jealous, hard heart. Feeling discouraged and prideful. Seeking pity. Coveting what I don't have. Acting out of bitterness.

Can you pray with me that the Lord breaks me of this and softens me? I long for a joyful heart. Joyful in all situations.

When I clean the kitchen for the 100th time.
When I feel I have to nag.
When I can't have something.
When I feel offended.
When I feel under-appreciated.

In all things, Lord, help me respond with joy and grace.

Oh grace... I also feel like that's missing for me. Grace toward others and grace toward myself.

I'll be praying into that area as well.

I'd love to know: what are areas that you're praying into this year? How can I pray with you?

My Body

[Continuing to come clean with a few areas of my life. Today I'm chatting about my body and some healthy habits I'd like to adopt this year.]

Recently on Instagram I saw a post from Jessi at Naptime Diaries where she mentioned that self-care was a big goal of hers for 2014.

As soon as I read those two words (or is it one since it has a hyphen?) I knew I was adding self-care to my list.

For so long I've measured my health on the look and size of my body -- the number on the scale, the number on the tag of my jeans. But there is so much that is lost when only using this one measurement.

That being said, there are so many factors that make me want to work on self-care this year. I'm all kinds of unhealthy.

I drink very little water. I eat very few fruits and vegetables. I hate exercising (and have no idea where I would find the time). I eat too much sugar and processed food. I have zero will power. If there's anything "bad" in the house my strategy is to eat it all in one day so it doesn't continue to tempt me. I bite my nails. I get too much sleep (don't hate me). I go to bed with my makeup on every single night. I barely have the energy to brush my teeth some nights, much less floss.

I am saying all of this to you today as a way to accept it and move forward.

At the end of December I was diagnosed with a thyroid condition and put on medicine. While the dosage is still being figured out, I am holding out great hope that this will go a long way in helping me feel better. For as long as I can remember, I've been tired.  Just perpetually sleepy. I can literally take a nap at any moment. Yet come bedtime, I'm wide awake, tossing and turning, mind racing. This major fatigue, along with a few other symptoms, led me to go in for blood work, and sure enough...a malfunctioning thyroid. Please pray with me that my doctor can get my little thyroid back into shape. I don't want to sleep my life away (or spend my waking hours angry because I can't go back to bed).

Now I know this is a lofty goal. I would love to get healthier, take better care of myself, loose some weight -- but I am definitely not going to be following any sort of diet fad. [If it has a name, or a hashtag, blog, website, book, whatever, I am not going to do it. Just my personal belief.] But I am going to try to be more intentional with what I put in and on my body. This body is the only one I have and a lot of people depend on her. I owe it to her to give her the best.

I'd love to know: what do you do to take care of yourself? Any tips you have for an unhealthy girl like me?

Coming Clean

The new year is always a great time to come clean. To reflect on the past year (or years), set goals, and find ways to hold yourself accountable. I'm doing just that this year. I'm going to share with you a few of my thoughts for the new year, ask a few questions, and then pray that you all can keep me honest. Sound ok?

But first, what about you?

I'd love to know: do you make New Year's resolutions? What are you trying to do/change/improve for 2014?

Using "My" Time Wisely

[my view this morning]

9:00am

The baby just went down for a nap.

Husband's in the office by now.

Breakfast dishes line the table. Dinner dishes *still* fill the sink.

I'm in my jammies. Coffee in hand.

Now what?

Sam is boycotting an afternoon nap, and as he is now more mobile and so very close to crawling, this quiet morning is sometimes the only uninterrupted time I get. How do I get the most out of those 1.5-2 hours? How do I prioritize? Where do I begin?

I need to begin by stop seeing time as "my time" and seeing it as coming from the Lord. Our pastor reminded us last night that, like all things, time comes from God. His perfect invention.

Me time // quiet time // busy time // go time // sleepy time // dinner time

It's all from him.

This revelation changes me. It must change me. The clock keeps ticking. My son keeps growing. The days keep marching on. There will always be dirty dishes and meals to cook and diapers to wash.

The Lord's time is precious. I vow to use His time wisely. To serve my family, teach my son, welcome my husband home at the end of the day.

Time to fill the coffee cup again, breathe in a new day, and get to work.