Battle Report: 500 Point Angry Marines vs. Imperial Guard

Hey folks! 

My first foray back into battle reports in 8th edition starts with a friendly game against a friendly local.  I'm learning 8th edition and am not ready for tournaments with my super fluffy pure Space Marine (Angry Marines Counts as Ultramarines).  

Hulksmash braved the wrath of the internet to help me put together a low model count, pure space marine army list, which you can find here!  

I haven't come up with a fun name for my army yet; from Ghazgkhull's Harem to my Darklight Storm to the Garden of Silence and their horrifically effective close combat with their 3rd edition codex in 5th edition, so I'll take any suggestions.  The lore for these guys,  Techpriest-Captain Tempernius Irascus and the 3rd Company "FURY OF THE EMPRAH" Angry Marines is here.  I should hold a contest to who can come up with the best name.

Anyway, PREPARE FOR GLORY!  Bring your savage comments, I'm new to 8th, still learning the rules, and this is for you all to point out all the stuff I did wrong so I can git gud.

<To Be Named ANGRY FUCKERS>

HQ:  Captain with Storm Bolter, Thunderhammer, Jump Pack

Elite:  Aggressors!

Troop:  5x Scout Snipers

Fast Attack:  Scout bikers, sergeant has a storm bolter

Dedicated Transport:  Razorback with Twin Assault Cannons

                                      

List Analysis

• This is meant to be a "Learn to play 40k army."  
• Each of the units is to give me a flavor of the different functions of 8th edition 40k - shooting, fighting, vehicles, and varied movement, with a Captain offering a 6" buff for rerolls to 1s to hit, and a "Storm of Fire" chance of wound rolls giving AP-1.
• 
  

Pilot Game Opponent:  Nick V. and his Imperial Guard
I didn't think to get an army list from him, but it looked like this:

• Two Commissars.  
• Two Mortar Squads.
• One unit of guardsmen.
• Two Leman Russ Battle Tanks

This is my first time playing with tactical cards, and I don't remember what mission it was, except that we were to draw cards each turn based on the number of objectives controlled.

The miniature schnauzer down there is named Link.  He's a good boy.  He's also our referee and rules judge.  Such a good boy.

Pre-Game Tactical Assessment:
I'm borrowing models and using incomplete models to get models onto the table, and our terrain consists of 4 pieces of 8.5" x 11" pieces of area terrain (white paper) symmetrically arranged on the table, and an 8.5" x 11" BLOS terrain piece in the middle.  I don't really know what my army can do, or what his army can do, but mortars are indirect fire and should die, and against those tanks, I have bolters.  Lots of bolters.  Also a thunderhammer.  And prayers.

I purchased a bag of 200x 8mm Koplow red dice, and a mixed bag of 50 more from Amazon because I couldn't source more than 10 of the 12mm dice I wanted.  In case you're wondering, those are Perdomo 10th Anniversary Champagne Edition cigars we're smoking; 40k is supposed to be fun!

My new angry aggressors are getting field tested in their first battle.  My commission artist and I discovered that superglue isn't as effective as plastic cement when it comes to subassemblies and shipping.

We start laying out objectives!  Our objectives for today are 8mm blue dice.  We have a total of six.  That bloody mary (and the ones that came before it and followed it) doesn't count.

At this point, I'm not sure what to do with objectives, but I know that IG isn't going to come to me, so I place my objectives in the middle, because if I've gotta go over there, I might as well put the objectives over there too.

We start deployment, and I start making mistakes.  Nick begins with a Mortar platoon inside area terrain over here on my right, and being the aggressive player I am, I line up my first unit opposite his first unit.

Before you know it, I've remembered my entire army is supposed to be within 6" of my Captain, and I've just set myself up for a long haul across a table, while his army is pretty much in the opposite corner, safe from me.  Fudge.

I get to go first!  Nick either fails to seize or elects not to - having made me deploy first.

Dashofpepper Turn One:
I still think like a Dark Eldar alpha-striker, so I zoom my scout bikers up the board to plop them into shotgun range of his guardsmen.

The rest of my army belatedly realizes that the fight - and the objectives - are where I am not - and that I'm not going to get to take advantage of my Captain's buff with the army anyway.  My Captain scoots up the field, being mindful to stay further back than the bikers so he isn't the closest unit while hiding behind the BLOS paper in the middle.

My razorback shifts to take some potshots at the mortar unit on the far left, and my aggressors start their slow, slow, slow plodding up the field.

On to shooting!  Scout bikers are cheap, and put out a lot of firepower.  Twin bolters, a storm bolter on the sergeant, and shotguns, which are in turn +1S if you get within 6" is a lot of dice.  In this case, it's enough dice to shoot that mortar unit off the table.  Precisely!

This lone commissar is left remaining to defend objective #6.

I go for the charge, and don't make it.

After a desultory shot from my razorback into his other unit, Nick starts his turn!

Nick Turn One:
Not only is this commissar planning to defend objective 6 by himself, he's planning on doing it for TWO TURNS to get this tactical objective.

I hereby name this brave soul an honorary angry marine, COMMISSAR FUKLAW!

Nick has two tactical objectives to work on at this point!

Nick arrays the rest of his forces to do some shooting at me.

He leads off with that Leman Russ and it's battlecannon into my bikes.

It does four wounds - I think they're the big kind.  I don't know if I even got to take saves against them or not, but three of my bikes die.

For lack of a better target, his other Leman Russ continues the fun and does four more wounds.

Well, now I traded a unit of scout bikers for a mortar unit and ...feel a little silly.  I took a break to get another Bloody Mary.

Dashofpepper Turn Two:
I draw cards for the objectives I own or something, and end up with these!

My Captain moves up to get into someone's face while my aggressors continue their slow plod forward with a 1" advance.  My razorback is fine just where it's at.

Scout snipers land three wounds on the Commissar and he sticks around!

On the other side of the field, my razorback opens up on his mortar squad and kills three models.

Left side of the table post shooting.

There are only 1-2 aggressors in range and in LOS of that guardsmen screen.  They open fire on the guardsmen, and split fire to finish off Commissar Fuklaw.

Nick takes losses, and removes guardsmen from the captain side to prevent me from multi-assaulting.

Go go gadget Grundlecrusher!

He literally moved 1 model enough to prevent me from getting to within 1" of both the leman russ and his guardsmen.  Drats.

An 8" roll gets me into close combat with a Leman Russ!

A few wild swings later and I've done 6 wounds to it.

Nick Turn Two:
Nick draws his cards, and gets a bunch.

His Leman Russ falls back from close combat and he prepares to dump everything into TECHPRIEST-CAPTAIN TEMPERNIUS IRASCUS.  My homie shall prevail!

Post move preparation for incoming pain.

His unmoved Leman Russ opens up and does one wound with the battle cannon, one wound with the little gun.

My armor save picks up the little gun and my invulnerable save picks up the big gun.  NOT TODAY SIR!

A storm of ineffecual fire later, and his guardsmen assault!

My thunderhammer trumps his lascarbines.

Dashofpepper Turn Three:
I'm in his business now with my Captain, although my aggressors aren't close enough to have done much yet.  I draw more cards!

It looks like I have an opportunity to hit three of them well.

Turn 3 picture of midfield.

My scouts advance out of my deployment zone to score the tactical objective "Advance."

I've hit three of those puppies now!

My aggressors pick up their aggressive pace and give me a TWO INCH advance this time.

They move up and prepare to shoot at a tank.  With bolters.

The one thing those aggressors have going for them are that their bolters are ...a lot of dice.  Lots.

7 wounds!  If only those aggressors had been in range of my captain, those 6s would have been AP-1.

Three more wounds to the Leman Russ!

My razorback assaults his commissar to contest objective #5.

Fight phase picture!

I spend a command reroll with my captain to get a third hit because I need to finish killing those IG guys to get a tactical objective.  That thing really is key.

No mercy, no respite scored!

Nick's side of the table.

With the arrival of another 40k buddy, we call the game at this point because I've got more victory points and we want to set up a bigger game!  Link declares me the angry victor.  Such a good boy.

We put down the bloody marys and get ready for a real fight!

Post Game Tactical Asssessment
I'm too new back to 40k to have any in-depth tactical insights yet, so I'll leave this one to the community.