Once Upon A Time...

***get ready for the cheese-ness. i am warning you. but this is my blog so i get to choose how i tell this story...lol***

once upon a time there lived a girl. this girl was a silly girl and very, very random. she loved to laugh and to have fun. she was very adventurous and such a romantic. she thought that life was all about romance and love. she could not wait to meet her prince charming who would sweep in and add even more fun into her life.

now this girl had been courted many times but it never seemed to be what she was looking for. it was supposed to be perfect and it never was. but she was not about to give up. this girl DID NOT give up.

one day while she was out doing her work, she met a boy. he had gorgeous brown eyes and silly, floppy hair that would shake back and forth when he talked. he was a bit arrogant but to be honest, so was she. they grew to be very good friends because he would listen. he made her feel safe and he was a wonderful confident. he would tell her about a music group, "the cure", and she would tell him dancing stories about "the vortex". it started out as a game but they soon began to care deeply for one another.

but the girl realized that the boy was not perfect and a relationship was supposed to be perfect. she had to have perfect since that was what she had been grown up to believe. she grew up reading "anne of green gables" dreaming of her own "gilbert" and this boy WAS NOT "gilbert".

she began to be hesitant and scared so much so that she decided to journey across the country and even the world so that she could get over this boy. she tried and tried to get over him but it was not to be. she knew she loved him and that she would marry him. he told her time and time again that he loved her, missed her, needed her, and that he WOULD marry her. finally she believed him.

she returned home that summer and planned a wedding. she was so happy and was so determined that it would end up perfect. she had faith in her "happy ending" and would not accept less. more importantly, she was madly in love...


***notice bone skinny arms? i still dream of those days. i was showing trevor and i said "look at those arms i once had. now they're about the size of my finger". he laughed...hard. waaaaaah! lol***
life as a wife was wonderful. she felt like this was where she belonged. she had graduated from university, was ready to learn how to become a "home-maker", and wanted so badly to be a mother. that was what she knew to be "normal" and she knew that they would be great parents. soon they found out that they were expecting a son. she was so giddy with excitement! she could not wait and finally, after a very easy pregnancy, they were able to bring him home.

she immersed herself in motherhood and in being a wife but soon she knew that she was not happy. she could not fathom the idea that this was how life was supposed to be. it had to be better than this. this life was not perfect and was not how she'd expected it to be. there were too many hard issues and problems that she'd not expected. this was not a fun game anymore! she prayed to god asking for help. asking for knowledge on how to fix it because she wanted guidance on how to make it be better.

then two unexpected and difficult lessons were sent down to her. one that would forever change the life of her family and friends. ironically, she finally felt comfort and trust and like she knew what she was supposed to do. she was determined to reach this goal as a family but this boy who was now a man would not work towards this goal with her. he was still too bitter and angry at god for taking everything away from him. he did not understand why and he did not have the same perspective that she had. that did not stop her though. finally after many days of utter trust and faith, she made it to the place that brought her the most joy. but he did not see this joy. he still only saw and felt the anger. she could not see his pain. if anyone should be angry, it should be her and she was not so why was he?

slowly, they grew apart and her heart became broken. she began to doubt their love and their union. after many months of separation, she gave up, forcing him to sign and throw away their marriage.

this girl who was now a woman began to experience many things, lessons, experiences, and journeys. she was once again the girl that had fun and soon felt back to her real self again. she learned alot about herself. she loved playing both roles. 1)the parent and 2)the selfish single. she did things that she never imagined she could and she loved life once again.

she loved. she believed. she was honest. she trusted. she made lasting friendships. she endured. she got her heart broken. she met great people. she found "prince charmings" who turned out to be liars. she realized that you can't force love and that sometimes even when "it's" right, "it's" not. you have to be practical. she cried. she ran away. she went on great adventures. she was an example.

life was going as she planned but still she could not forget about this man whom she had married. they were best friends and that was all it could be. they had tried other times to be more again but they would always find someone else who was "better" so it would never work out and remember? HE WAS NOT PERFECT!

then one day this woman got the chance to experience an awesome opportunity and though there were those who doubted her ability, she went anyway. while she was in the smallest village that she had ever been in, she experienced reality and she was very humbled. she cried many tears because of her stupidity, her realizations, and then tears of joy because once again she knew what direction she must now go. she understood why she had needed the years alone, her experiences, her growth, and she hoped that it had not become too late.

you see for when she was at her lowest of lows, the only person in the whole entire world that she needed to talk to was this man and their children. she realized what was truly important and what was real and concrete. it was her own little family that they had formed together that mattered. all that she had been searching for had always been right there in front of her the whole time.
she returned home, opened her heart once again to him, and shared with him her experiences. she vowed and promised to never break their love again and that she was his forever. she knew that life was not meant to be perfect, that she was not perfect, and that she did not expect him to be perfect. relationships all have their "issues". she knew this and she wanted his if he could put up with hers. she would try to be less controlling if he would try to be more adventurous.

this man was scared because he really knew this woman. he knew how random she could be and of how easily she could be distracted. he also worried if he would be able to be what she needed.

after many days he finally "gave in" and admitted that he could never live without her. he had never stopped hoping that he would once again have her love.
the children were so happy to have their around. they were so excited for a wedding though they made sure that mom was to have NO MORE children. "we'll see..." she said.

tj + kt = forever

and they lived happily ever after..