Fly The Unfriendly Skies With United

I'm old enough to remember when people actually dressed up to get on an airplane like it was a social event. I mean, high heels, dresses, suits, ties; the whole nine yards. Now we have people showing up at airports looking, at best, like they're going to a slumber party. At worst, many patrons resemble homeless people. I'm also old enough to remember United Airlines advertising campaign slogan, "Fly the friendly skies of United." Every time I'm waiting, this is my hopeful image of who I will see when boarding:

Or this- an entire crew waiting happily to greet The Queen of The Universe!

But, that's fantasy. We all know that this is how it feels to fly these days, sadly...

Or, perhaps this image best conveys how your last flight felt?

I most certainly recall feeling like this. In fact, recently on a flight from Chicago, My Lion had to ask for a seat change because the man next to him was so large that Mike was actually turned out into the aisle which has to be against regulations, if not a crime against his aching back! Thankfully, the Flight Attendant was happy to get him another.

Sadly, that sort of help did not come for this United passenger who was dragged from a plane by airport security. Yep, dragged. A 60 something year old physician who was buckled into his seat next to his wife on their way home.

Normally I'm a rules girl. If you have the authority to tell me what to do, I'll generally do it without issue. So I could argue that the man brought on the altercation because he refused to get off the plane when told. However, as a PR professional and Human Being, I can't let this go by without commenting.

In this case, the flight was double overbooked, (Yes, that's actually a real thing, a real business practice!)  The airlines have taken to overbooking every single flight that they send down a runway. It started when the price of gas etc, was taking big bites out of their bottom lines. The airlines started coming up with all sorts of creative ways to help staunch the flow of red ink. That's when baggage handling fees went crazy and getting bumped more frequently from flights making a bad situation, worse. It changed the stressful occasion of flying into something akin to having one's head shaved with a cheese grater. It didn't simply go from bad to worse-- it went from bad to Third Circle of Hellish.

So, back to the elderly man on the plane. The airline needed four passengers to give up their seats because, ready for it, they needed seats to get some of their employees to their connecting flight. Yep, you heard me, they needed paying customers to give up their seats so their crew wouldn't be held up from getting where they needed to be, thereby causing the cascading effect of other missed flights. They offered $800 to any passenger who would give up their seat.  Perhaps that seems reasonable.

But, not to me. As far as I'm concerned, no business worth its salt passes on the pain of operating to a paying customer! And, the fact that United overbooks flights to the point that they can't get their crews around the country is certainly a problem for them. However, it should not have been that man's problem. But it became a big one!

Three passengers took the proffered $800, but the flight was still short one seat. Next they randomly selected the seat, which was occupied by the doctor. When they asked him to get off, he refused saying he had patients whom he needed to see in the morning. It would also mean that, either his wife get off with him, or she'd have to travel on alone.

The flight crew got airport security involved when Dr. Passenger refused to get up out of his PAID FOR seat. Before you could say, Buckle up, boys it's going to be a bumpy ride," the man is bloodied, dragged down the aisle by his arms, while every other passenger has out their cell phones videoing the entire nasty business. The poor man ends up in the hospital with some serious injuries. Can anyone say, "Lawsuit,"?

Post event, the horrified passengers began releasing their videos and the entire situation rightfully went viral. I could just imagine their PR Person screaming in his head, "Are you freaking kidding me?! How the hell can I even begin to spin this one?!" He gave it a really good try. In fact, the CEO of United took to the airwaves and did what you might expect, defend his crew for doing what they are supposed to do, etc. But when the backlash washed over him and United sending their stock prices into a tail spin, (see what I did there?), he was busy trying to publicly walk it all back and apologize. To no avail. Now they've refunded the tickets to all the passengers in an effort to say "Sorry you had to see that!"

As if that could even help.

Here's my point, aside from the one I stated about how stupid it is for any company to think it's right to pass off their operational problems onto a paying customer. While so many other businesses seem to have got the wake up call about how customers will not tolerate poor customer service, the air lines still act as if we are brainless cattle to be transported to slaughter.

Those who work in the industry complain about how we all act on flights these days; how we dress or don't dress to be seen in public; how fat we are; how demanding we are; how totally rude we can be. All the while making more money off of customers than they've ever made as an industry. In case you think they'd do away with those fees that may have been necessary to keep them afloat during the lean times, you'd be very wrong. Instead, the fees are still there and getting higher, and they've made the seats smaller, stripping away any form of comfort. No food is served, no in-flight entertainment, nothing at all. The Airline industry, through their choices, has turned it into an us against them scenario with you feeling like a sucker for paying to be abused. Tempers are short, memories are long, and no one is happy or satisfied. Sounds like a brewing recipe for disaster.

Now we can add physical abuse to the list of those things the unfriendly skies will provide at your full cost. How very nice of them.

From now on when I fly, instead of taking out flight insurance, I think I'm going to see if I can get a policy that offers Combat Pay. It seems like it will come in way more handy.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Still Flies But...

The Danger of The Cult of Personality

Richard M. Nixon was president when I was a senior in high school and resigned when I was a freshman in college.  He is the only president who has resigned.  It made for a very interesting era.

At 17, I was not much into politics.  I hadn't even cast my first political vote.  But, I hated this man. Absolutely. Totally.  Just despised him. If you had asked my 17 year old self who knew everything there is to know about the world, I wouldn't have been able to articulate my reasons.  The truth is, I hated him because everyone else I knew hated him and without understanding Group Think, I too, hated the guy. I grew up in Maryland which is historically Democrat in its politics and no one in Maryland liked him simply because he was a Republican!

                                      

Now as an adult, I understand that he wasn't a totally bad president.  He started the end to the Viet Nam war which should have gained him sainthood status from all of us young people. And, he was the President who began discussions and relations with China that has shaped world policy since. If I knew more about politics, I'd be able to tell you what other things he did well. But, I can't. Just like millions of other Americans who couldn't warm up to his cool, peculiar and distancing demeanor, we just hated him because.

Then along come these two beat reporters from the Washington Post who dug deep and ferreted out the story of a lifetime. Theirs is the story that brought down Nixon's White House around his ears. It's a complicated story as things like this are and too Machiavellian for me to explain in this blog. Essentially, it was all about how Nixon's senior staff and he decided to bug the Democratic National Committee headquartered in the iconic Watergate Building.

Woodstein, as they became known, caught this break of a lifetime because of their unnamed source, known far and wide as Deep Throat.  A Washington insider, this man (whose identity was a closely kept secret for over 30 years eventually revealed to be Mark Felt, the Assistant Director of the FBI,) gave them the info because Washington Elite were incensed that the Republicans would stoop so low as to break the law spying on and wiretapping the opposition party.

The resulting book of the entire affair, All The President's Men became required reading. It was all anyone talked about. And it launched thousands and thousands of students into journalism majors because of the unprecedented event and the Media's power to reveal the truth.  Bernstein and Woodward changed journalism and for a long time, we were better off because we had reporters and editors who understand that a free society must have a Media who is non-partisan and continues to day-light the truth. As a Mass Communication Major, I sat through countless hours in class discussing ethics, truth, these two reporters but with very little frame of reference to the political story. If you've never read it, maybe you should. It's thick and filled with things that I don't understand even to this day but it sure is fascinating the way watching an accident on the road is compelling!

At the start of Nixon's second term, he resigned. Seven top staffers were indicted and served jail time for their actions. Since Nixon's VP, Spiro Agnew (a Maryland Governor,) resigned prior because of fraud and tax evasion, that left Gerald Ford as the next President. Poor guy. I remember him as being nice, bumbling, and basically ineffectual. Again, I could be wrong because I was young and what did I really know? However, I clearly remember the celebratory feelings around that resignation. And just like that, a United States President became Personae Non Gratae.

Now years later, Donald J. Trump is the President. Elected despite what the best political pundits and Media reported and predicted. And, just like Nixon, he is despised by thousands and being protested at every turn. He too, is a Republican. His personality is bombastic and large. It makes him difficult to like and warm up to. He's been in office less than 100 days and daily the coverage is about what he's not done, what he's not been able to accomplish. The news is filled with political infighting, not just between the Dems and Repubs which one expects, but even within the Republican Party itself. While the Dems flat-out admit like it's a good thing, that they plan to oppose him on every thing.

How bad is it? Let me put it this way- if Trump walked on water in front of everyone, I'm afraid the media headlines would be, "Donald Trump Fails To Swim!!!"

Full disclosure, I voted for the man. For the soul purpose of not allowing Hillary Clinton to gain the seat in the Oval. Do I love the man? Not at all. Do I think he is the candidate of my lifetime? Only in how bizarre it all is that he's even the President in the first place.

But now as an adult, and a person who follows politics much closer, what concerns me is not the President so much as our reactions to this President. I am very concerned about the Cult of Personality that seems to be the driving force behind news coverage and our behavior.

Are we so shallow that we only want political leaders whose personality we like? Can the person only be considered a winner if they make us feel all warm and fuzzy? Seriously? Would you choose a surgeon that way? If I were to tell you that the only surgeon who could possibly save your life had the bedside manner of Attila The Hun, would you pass because you didn't like him? My suspicions are that you wouldn't.

So why would you hate the President because you just can't stand his personality? Why would you crow with glee when everything he and his staff attempt to do is thwarted by politics? Why would you hope that our President fail? If he fails we all fail.

Yes, he's difficult to understand and is totally unorthodox.  His communication style makes me cringe. Yes, he's a billionaire. He walks in rarefied air that most of us can't imagine. To be honest, so do most of our politicians who are, while not billionaires, certainly quite wealthy. Even President Obama who everyone loves in terms of his personality is an elite worth many millions. But, Mr. Obama has a much easier personality that's simple to like in terms of being a good family man and a loving husband and father.  Here's the thing, though, so is Mr. Trump. His children are extremely successful and well regarded. His beautiful wife is an immigrant now citizen, who was a successful model, speaks several languages, and is a fabulous mother.

Mr. Trump has many life long friends who say he is constantly supportive and loyal. So, in terms of the Cult of Personality, should we dismiss a person simply because we don't think we'd like them personally? Should that be the criterion? Or should we be making that decision based on their qualifications and accomplishments? Wouldn't those be a more accurate measure?

Interestingly enough, this story has another angle proving that everything in history comes around again. A storm is brewing; no telling where it will all end. It seems as if The Trump Presidency is in the middle of a wiretap controversy just like Nixon's. Only this time, it would be Democratic operatives who are playing fast and loose with surveillance of Trump staffers.

And, I can't help but wonder, where are the Woodwards and Bernsteins who genuinely care more about reporting the truth instead of being contemptuous of the guy who holds the office? Are they even there anymore? Maybe not, but the dangerous Cult of Personality is still very evident.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Is Older And Hopes Wiser

Women's Day International

Only women can do the things that women do: Love, Nurture, Care, Laugh, Sing, Contribute, Win, Survive, LIVE!  Be Real Human Beings! Men will do it their way and that's all well and good. Certainly necessary. But, today we celebrate Women contributing and making a difference to this world of ours.

And, just because I love the song and the woman who sings it-

May you have a day that reminds you of your importance to the world around you. Sing it out Girls!

 Namaste' Till Next Time,
 Holly aka She Who IS

Here We Go Again, Sadly!

Way back in 2009, I wrote a rant entitled A Fox In The White House, which you can read if you click the link.  It covered the, then, Obama administration attempting to shut Fox News out of a series of important press interviews.  It didn't happen, thanks to the massive push back by other press outlets as well as the public when they caught wind of it.

Sadly, here we go again. Last week, the Trump White House got embroiled in a similar story. White House Press Secretary, Sean Spicer held a Press Gaggle in his office, which is an off-camera, way more casual, sit-down than a press conference.  At a gaggle, those media outlets attending are more likely to be hand chosen. And it's likely that not everyone who thinks they should be invited will be there. There was no daily press conference held in the Press Room where any with credentials can be included.

Those outlets who weren't included were all supplied with a transcript of what was discussed post gaggle, but that's not really the point. The point is that we should be looking at who was left out. They are some pretty big hitters in the media world:

The New York Times reporter was not asked to attend the Gaggle. Wait!  A major newspaper not invited?!

And, CNN reporters were not included in the gaggle....

...neither was the LA Times included. There were others like the BBC, but let's just concentrate on these three for now.

Hmm, what's the one thing that these three have in common?  They are all pretty liberal in their coverage. And currently, President Trump and his administration are in a battle over their coverage of the White House. When I say battle, I do mean battle.  I've seen contentious relationships between the press and other administrations, but this one takes it to a whole new level.  To be honest, this one being waged by the White House is totally exhausting.

This battle makes the hideous tone of the Press and Nixon White House look like a pre-school tussle over a toy! When challenged, Spicer, later reported that those who were 'excluded'  simply were not part of that day's Press Pool, which changes daily and is decided by The White House Correspondences' Association, not the White House. But still it looks a tad suspicious.

The rest of the Media quickly rallied around those who were left out as they did when Fox was targeted. A petition was circulated. Twitter blew up with the 411. The excluded were defended by the rest of the press. Once again, the press became the news.

Why should you care?  Because the only way for us to continue as a free society is by making certain that all outlets, all angles, of the news are part of the process. Spicer selecting some attendees isn't all that unusual. I admit that as a PR person, I had a list of a few reporters who were fair and easy to work with, whom I would call to pitch a story; that's to be expected. Everyone who works regularly with the Media knows who you can trust and are easy to work with given a choice. But, if what was happening at my organization was breaking news, all outlets were included in the coverage of that news.  Even those not generally positively disposed toward us had access.

No White House administration should ever determine news coverage!  In a free society, you get to decide what news you will ingest!  Those creating the news might think they should decide who will cover it, but the reality is, YOU decide.

And while I really wish you would listen to news sources that are counter to your thinking so you have both sides to consider, at the very least...

...You must have, at your disposal, all versions in order to be free and informed.

Once again, our great system of checks and balances that includes the Fourth Estate, our Media, are actively participating in our civic debate.  You need to as well.

Shame on you, White House, for attempting to have the news covered your way! Even if it's true about the daily Press Pool and you didn't select which sources could attend, the optics are bad for you.

These days, the political leaning of most media outlets is way too obvious for my taste. I believe that reporters and editors need to do a better job of reporting the news instead of being the news. However, liberal leaning or way out on the far right, we're still better off having various news sources from which to pick.

Dear Media with hurt feelings-- let me counsel that if you did your job correctly and simply reported the facts instead of consistently slanting them, you'd be less likely to be left out in the cold.  Just report the news, do not think for me! Give me solid info so I can think for mySelf.

In a way, I'm glad this happened again.  It's a reminder to stay vigilant and OPEN to the other voice. And maybe, just maybe, the owners, editors, journalists will start doing a better job of REPORTING and not COLORING the news.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Listens To Both Sides 

Where To Go And Why It Matters

Right from the top, I'm telling you that these are simply my thoughts.  I truly don't know enough about this lifestyle issue to share facts.  But, writing about it is the way to get my thoughts out on the topic of the president recently rolling back federal regulation, and turning it back to the states, the battle over which bathroom a citizen should use or be mandated to use.

Talk about an over reach of government!  Now they want laws about using a public restroom!!

As far as I'm concerned, this whole controversy is specious. It's not like we have someone standing at the door determining if one has a penis to use the men's room.  Or, if a woman has a vagina in order to gain access to the women's room.

Seriously, if no one is forced to look at your junk while you're in there, then which restroom one feels most comfortable in using is clearly for the individual to decide.

Michael and I disagree on this topic.  He believes that men, e.g. a penis carrying Human should have to use the men's room.; if you have a vagina, you should have to use the women's room.  The whole issue of choice makes him cringe.

Perhaps the confusion is because we're older and more familiar with the labels of gay, lesbian, cross dresser, gender bending, but not as familiar with the concept of Transgender.  Michael feels like Transgender means a person who is, let's say, born a male but 'feels' like they are a woman or a person born a female who 'feels' like they are a man.

I maintain that it's more than that.  There is a vast difference between female and woman.  A vast difference between male and man. It starts with a feeling, yes, but ultimately those who really believe themselves Transgender invest incredible amounts of energy, work and emotion to change their bodies and psyche', presenting to the world their true identity.  It's much more complicated a process than simply a female wearing men's clothes or vice versa.

Again, I remind you that my words here are very simplistic about a life style that is so much more complex.

For me, while I don't really understand what is all the craziness about this restroom issue, I maintain that it is more important and less disruptive for the Transgender individual to use the restroom that is correct for the identity they show the world and not the plumbing with which they are born.

Let me give you an example--  Suppose you and I were out shopping and this gorgeous woman



walked into the restroom with us.  Other than being totally envious of her gorgeousness, the fact that she was in there wouldn't phase us at all.  She'd go to her stall and we'd go to ours.

But, that totally fabulous woman is actually born male.  That beauty is Ms. Laverne Cox who identifies and lives as a woman and works very successfully as an actress.

Now, let's say Michael was on his way into a public restroom and this guy, again totally gorgeous, walked in after him.  However, instead of walking up to a urinal, he steps into one of the stalls available in men's rooms because, let's be honest, sometimes a guy just needs to poop!

Mike wouldn't be suspicious of a 6'2" man going into a stall to do his business.  Except that guy is Casey Legler, a 30 something, born female who works exclusively as a male model! Casey lives life as a man.

Here's my point.....

If Laverne was forced, due to absurdly intrusive laws, to use a Men's Restroom, I believe guys would be highly uncomfortable seeing her walk in.  Just as women would be totally flustered if that hunk, Casey, walked in to use the women's room.

Men don't want women in the restroom (they'll tolerate it at concerts and stadiums when a gal's just gotta go and the line is way too long for the women's room,) and women most certainly have a lot to say about men in the room with them when they're doing their business!  What plumbing they may have hiding under their clothes doesn't cause any issue in comparison to seeing a female where she shouldn't be or a male where he shouldn't be peeing!

If a female who lives life as a man is in a public restroom, I bet my life that (s)he would use a stall, not a urinal.  And, I would bet the same about s(he) who lives life as a woman!  People simply want to do their business in private even when in a public restroom.

Want to limit the drama and confusion?  The easiest way- just hold it till you get home. Or, change them all to unisex. Or, allow who we see to use the one that's suited for the image they present the world.

For those ridiculous enough to take this argument to the extreme, suggesting that without regulations you'll have perverted men who say they identify as women simply to use a girl's bathroom or locker room in order to waggle their penis for all to see, is stupid.  Just as it's crazy to think that a person like Casey would walk in to the boy's for the sole purpose of showing off her vagina.

For those who yell it's uncivilized to have a female in the men's room or a male in the women's room, I'm telling you that it's a lot more disconcerting and confusing to see a woman where she doesn't belong or a man where he shouldn't be!

A truly Transgender individual IS NOT a sexual deviant!  If you have those two things linked in your mind, then do the work to learn the facts!

Anyone who walks into either restroom for the express purpose of  a sexual charge or flaunting their plumbing is an Exhibitionist, not Transgender! Living life as an authentic Human Being is complicated enough without adding this foolish fuel to the fire. Those who truly are Transgender seem to be those Human Beings who exemplify what it means to have courage to live, as my blog title says, "... being a real Human Being."

Being real is not easy and not without risk. Being a REAL Human Being has almost nothing to do with sexual organs. Being REAL is about heart, mind, spirit, soul.

And as far as I'm concerned, your birth anatomy and regardless your self-identify as male or female/man or woman, the only time in a restroom I might raise my eyebrow at you is if you don't wash your hands before exiting! That's what should be against the law in any state!

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Wants People To Pee In Peace 

Thyroid Trials

Dear Thyroid,

What is going on?!  You and I have been in a love/hate relationship for about 25 years but for the most part, we've learned how to live in peace with each other. I've always checked on you regularly and take my Synthroid every morning like clockwork.  So long as I've given you what you need, we've worked together pretty well, I think.

So, what's up with you over the past couple of months, huh?

And, what is it that makes it seem as if you've suddenly awakened out of the blue?  Or, is that just some sort of weird game you're playing and it's not really you but something else going on?

I've never heard of having to adjust medication down and then down again after years of it needing to be slowly increased to keep you alive as long as we can.

When you're not working I know it pretty quickly.  My finger nails become projectile missiles shattering whenever they feel like.  My brain stops adding 2 + 2= 4.  I can't concentrate on anything. I feel as if the colors in the world all take on a shade of gray. I walk around feeling slightly dizzy and as if I am in a perpetual fog.  Disconnected. My whole body starts to feel like a pulse and my heart beats so loudly that at times it's as if that's the only thing I can hear.

My very own version of Poe's, Tell Tale Heart.  So not good.

But, we dropped the meds because six weeks ago or so, you came back saying we were giving you too much medication.  And, after testing again, today we are going to have to lower the meds again. When I asked the nurse, "Umm, can a thyroid become over active after years of it being hypo," she answered, "That's a great question.  Not usually."

My great question means that now I'm going for an ultra sound to see if there are nodules on you now, Thyroid.  Nice.  Real nice.

It's all right.  Better for you and me to know what's going on with you, don't you think? Any of my readers have this happen to you?  I'd be very interested in any info you can share.

Stay tuned for more.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Has Thyroid Issues   

It's Not Working

Trying, Trying, Trying really hard....

...but it's not working.  I'll try again tomorrow.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Actually Likes Winter But Loves The Beach More

Open Letter To My Valentine

My Very Dear Valentine,
Will you be mine for another year?  You and I are so great together.  We Still got it...
We're still the perfect match.

You are that sweet heart who makes my world so much better.  Who makes my life so very complete. You are my friend, my family, my love.  You!  Valentine's Day is all about you!  A chance to remind you how very important you are to me.

So, let me remind you that you can count on me to...

...Share quality time with you because any time we are together is the best time of all.

...Warm you when the world seems cold and harsh.

 

...Walk the path with you.  Sometimes I will take the lead and other times you will lead me, but mostly we'll just stroll side by side.  When we are weary of our journey, we will give each other the encouragement to continue!

...Help open doors for you or remove obstacles standing in your way because you most certainly do that for me!

...Shed light on your situation whenever you ask because I need you to do that for me! We will share the sunshine of silliness, smiles, and laughter.

...Continue to enjoy simple pleasures while searching out the big ones.  Little things like a cup of coffee or tea and an impromptu chat.  You and me taking a brief time to just BE!

...Be always available to give you a kiss and a hug.  I'm so very good at hugs!

...Be that touch of whimsy that is still so necessary.



Because, I truly do find every part of you fascinating and lovable.  All facets of you are perfect in my eyes; I wouldn't change a thing about you.  But, if and when you wish to change I will support your efforts.

All of this I will be and do gladly because you hold my heart safely in your hands and I want to remind you that yours is always safely in mine.

Happy Valentine's Day to all my Sweet Hearts!  Thanks for sharing everything you are with me.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Is So Lucky To Have So Many Sweet Hearts

Smooth As Silk

Al Jarreau, I will miss your smooth, silky sweet voice.  I will miss your beautiful smile and your soulful way of digging down into a song.

I will miss how you changed with the times and kept your vocal chops relevant.  I will miss your ability to put some bounce in our steps or calm us down and mellow us out. Your way of giving us a few moments when listening made us feel a bit hopeful for our day, our world.



"I hope you don't mind that I put down in words how wonderful life is while you are in my world...," because even though you are gone from it, your voice is still here with us.

And, that continues to give me hope. Thanks for the music, Mr. Jarreau.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly

Out of The Blue

Out of no conscious thought of mine, the blue Medicine Buddha has appeared and taken up a great deal of my mind.

Generally, I spend time with Green Tara and occasionally White Tara may visit.  Even though I am a Reiki Master Teacher, the Blue Buddha has never spoken to me before.  But, I suppose my chaotic mind, which is so different from how I generally operate, has attracted this Great Divine Healer.

I am humbled.

Like any new relationship, it takes time to develop.  I had to do some research on this beautiful being. It's fascinating to learn that this Master Healer doesn't simply work on the physical disabilities and diseases that trouble so many.  He also works on healing the spiritual and emotional bodies.

I was very sick through most of January.  Now I am feeling better physically but exceedingly tired. My energy has seeped out and seems lost.  I walk about doing my chores and tasks without enthusiasm.  My emotional and mental bodies are slow, like how one is upon first waking.  A slight disconnect, a fuzziness that keeps me from seeing the colors brightly or feeling my feelings sharply.  I hope the Divine Healer will help sweep away the dust that covers my third eye.

One quality of this Being of which I was not aware is that he works on removing fear, panic, and intractable thinking.  Medicine Buddha softens our thoughts and turns them toward what is true and compassionate.  The world sure can use this right now.

And, I feel that my recent treatment from others has so stunned me that I am like a beacon of need. True need. In this moment.  At this time.

The Medicine Buddha reminds me that just as a cart follows the horse, my body follows my thoughts so I must remember to think positively and realistically.  I must remember that I am neither horse nor cart, but both. I am both.

I can see the clear blue light that comes from him especially at night before I drift to sleep.  It is the beauty of a cobalt blue bottle sitting in a sunny window.  The fascinating deep blue light streams in, captivates, and brings peace.  A deep breath.  A sigh.  A moment of comfort.

The Medicine Buddha is the color of lapiz lazuli.  The miracle stone.  Interestingly, my thyroid has been on the fritz and my doctor and I are working to bring it back into its normal way of being. I think I will wear this stone for awhile.

There are no coincidences when it comes to The Divine.  The Creator of All That Is, knows me and loves me.  And, I have been reminded that what is needed is always provided.

"Dearest Healing Buddha, please show us the power which heals all beings, removes the ignorance and obscuration of all beings and empower us to perform the great work. Let the minds' timeless light be recognized inside of me."

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Is Grateful

FaceBook Killed My Blog, Then Politics Killed My FaceBook

It would seem that the immediate gratification of communicating with each other via social media platforms has really taken a bite out of blogging.  I guess the chance to reach more people is just too enticing.  But, when I think about the fact that I started Your Mother Knows as more or less a diary or repository for my thoughts, I'm not sure why I've drifted from it.

That's not correct- I drifted from it primarily because I have to invest more energy in my writing here versus the hit and run communication that I do on social media.  Hell, Twitter has been the best editor I've ever worked with because only having 146 characters at my disposal means get to the point.



So, I am back again because I absolutely, at this time, EFFIN' hate facebook.  Or more to the point, I hate the way people are being pre- and post election on facebook.  The amount of hysteria, hate, inflammation, craziness, panic, angst, fear is way beyond even what I experienced with Bush Derangement Syndrome. I'd even venture that if you asked any liberal if they'd take the current President Trump or have back President Bush, they would scream, "Bring George Back To The Oval Immediately!!!" That should give anyone perspective on the current level of crazy and backlash against the new 45th President of these UnUnited States.



As a PR person, I'm fully versed in how it feels to stand in front of a group and make a statement only to be blasted in response.  The ability to stand there, not react, and continue to try and discuss takes years to master.  It is very hard not to take it personally.  I'm proud to say for the most part of my career, I succeeded.  Not that I didn't go back to my office muttering, "ASSHATS!!!!," while slamming my office door.  Hell, I am only Human!

Yesterday I signed off of FB wishing everyone well.  I have had enough!  I am over seeing posts suggesting the end of the world and civilized society.  I'm done with reading things that would make one believe that I'm somehow a hideous Human because I voted for Trump. Or that I am somehow morally inferior to my friends on the left. I am finished with reading, "HAPPY NOW?!," every time someone at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue so much as picks up a pencil.

Here's what I can say to all my fellow facebook posters:

I can be somewhat concerned over some of the news coming from The White House without wishing they would start Impeachment Hearings for the new president.

I can be Pro-Choice and Anti-Abortion because of over-broad abortion policies. I can be Pro-Choice and strongly believe tax dollars should not be used to support clinics that provide these procedures.

I can be Pro-Access without having my taxes pay for your birth control. If you use it, pay for it yourself. I paid for mine.

I can be Pro-Birth and not Anti-Woman.

I can be Pro-Life and see the reasonable desire of some to be peacefully freed from the pain of their failed bodies.

I can be a champion of immigration and still believe it should be done within the legal limits the laws of this country have drawn. I can believe that if you are here illegally and have found yourself facing our legal system, you should be permanently deported.

I can be a conservative in regard to spending and rather socially liberal.

I can be a supporter of the Gay and Lesbian community without being a Democrat!

I can wonder about the complexities of Trans-Gender without judging the individual.

I can be white without being racist.  I can vote for a Republican candidate and support Human Rights.

I can multi-task and hold various opinions and like every other Human Being on this earth, I can be more than one-dimensional on any issue you might wish to discuss and debate.

What I am not willing to do is have every single thought or comment I post on my wall used as fodder for people who simply want to pick a fight.

What I am not willing to do is be judged by Liberals or Conservatives.

I am not willing to fill my day with people who want to live with the drama instead of looking at the facts. Or, shout at me if I attempt to respectfully post the facts.

I am not willing to fill my wall with people who do not want to listen to any opinion that varies from their own.

Or, with people who lecture me on my choices.

I am not willing to deal with people who think access to my page on social media means you can say whatever you want to me! I did not Friend you on facebook to fight!

STOP!  Just stop!!!!  I used to be paid to let people blast me for my comments, but I'm not getting paid any longer to listen to your shit!!!!  I call DONE!

I'm to the point of absolutely wanting to slap people, which is about me, not really them.  People are going to be who they are.  And as infuriating as it is to me right now, they have the right to do and say what they wish. If I don't like it, I have to go.  Exercise my options... vote with my feet.  So, here I am back to my blog once more. Why?  Because I'm a communicator and I have a deep desire to reach out and connect with others. Because I am a writer and the need to hone my craft is a niggling itch that never goes away. Because I am a Human Being and need someplace safe to process my thoughts.

Right now, we have a brand new President in the Oval Office.  Personally, do I like the man?  I DO NOT KNOW because I don't know him, personally.  News flash, neither do you!  Do I think I might not want to have him as a personal acquaintance?  Leaning very much toward, yes.  But, then again, if I knew the man personally, I might change my mind.



Because I voted for him, does it mean that I think him the perfect candidate?  NO.  However, as unorthodox as is his personal style of communicating, he didn't keep me up nights worried as much as the idea of Mrs. Clinton sitting in the Oval.  So, I voted my conscience from strictly a political point of view.

My pulling that lever on election day did not automatically turn me into a hater of Immigrants, LGBT, Muslims, Women, The Environment, Climate Change Theory, Little Children, Education, Social Programs, Those In Need, The Poor, and whatever else you might want to throw into the Shit Stew that is currently life in America.  I am the same person.  The very same person.  If you genuinely were my friend before I voted, you should respect me and understand that we don't have to agree on every single thing.

I am adult enough to understand that I do not have to like a person personally in order to understand they might be the best person for the job.  I may hate their personal style, but their resume of success is enough to prove why they are sitting in the seat.  And, even more, I trust in the Will of The American People and our process of government!

But, our world is not the same place.  Instead we now live in a world where the only thing of value is a person's feelings and their right to hurl them at others!  Their feelings are the only thing of paramount importance.  Their feelings; not yours.  We no longer understand the value of taking a measured stand on issues.  We no longer teach the importance of putting what's best for the majority ahead of what we might want as an individual.  We no longer view the world via a Servant's Heart. We do not know what it means to be a good citizen, instead we just want to be emoting bags of FEELINGS!

We have turned social media into a tool for acting out. We don't use it as a platform to learn from each other or where we share common ground.

I cannot abide the hysteria.  Can't abide the complete and total denigration of a man who has been on the job for about two weeks.  Most of us starting a new job are lucky to remember where the bathrooms are within the first two weeks, but can we give the guy whose office is in a complex as complicated as The White House a chance?!  Oh, HELL NO!  We can't be reasonable.  We can't take a wait and see position.  We can't act like Human Beings instead of a mob out to kill The Monster.

And, the war continues with this next chapter of the presidency with the Democrats and Republicans in Washington just as bad if not worse.  The Democrats are going to fight like fiends against any and everything because that's what their base demands.

We certainly can't be civil in our discourse.  We can't discuss with each other.  We cannot listen to each other.  We don't want to think, analyze, garner facts... we just want to react.

We want the toxic feeling of drama coursing through our hearts and minds- living as if our hair's on fire!

But, I don't.  I don't want it even for a few minutes much less Every. Single. Minute. Of. The. Day. as it is currently in Social Media.

I've lost friends, (by that I mean FB friends, which aren't really real.  It's not like the ones who unfriended me ever spent one real-time minute sitting and looking at me while we talk,) because of a man I don't know personally.  I've been unfriended over my civic duty of casting my vote. I've lost friends who got so mad reading comments made by others on my posts, that they decided I am not worthy of their time and energy. Sadly, I have had one or two people who have known me awhile in real time simply turn on me, too. Was it because I baited them or belittled them? Nope; it was because I had the audacity to give them my differing opinion on the posts on their walls.

Concurrently, I had several people message me off facebook basically asking why I tolerate people talking to me as they do.  And that's been my conflict; feeling personally savaged while still attempting to stay true to my core belief that dialogue is the only thing that can save us.  That being open is the only possible answer to our annihilation. But, when a young friend of mine, a guy whose take on the world is pretty solid and grounded, texted me to say that he found me way more tolerant and civil than he could ever be, it started my wheels turning...

Am I allowing mySelf to be abused by others simply because I believe so strongly in the importance of letting people express themselves?  The answer came back, "Sadly, yes."  Eventually I picked being kind to mySelf over the need for others to be crazy on something as inconsequential as a social media platform.

So be it. I'm done with it for now.  Eventually, I may go to see what people are posting about their dogs or their kids. I may want to see what new recipe someone has found and really likes.  But not until I can control mySelf and not want to bitch slap people who have been fucky with me simply because they can get away with it.

For believe me, I don't care how passionately you feel about things, I guarantee that you do not have the courage to be in the same space with me and talk like that.  You wouldn't have the nerve because you'd be looking into my eyes and you could not deny that I am a Human Being standing there being excoriated by you...

...over matters that neither YOU nor I have the power to control.  Over matters which, on the day to day, do not change how you live from the time you wake till you crawl back in bed at night.

...over people whom we will never know personally.  Instead, on a stupid social media platform, you'll lecture me from your moral high ground of superiority about how I should be tolerant of all social issues and people while you are completely intolerant of me or others having any opinion that varies from your own.

Hypocrite.  Let me give you a few minutes to yank that blank from your eye before you start searching for the splinter in mine. I want you to see clearly when you see me. As sad as it might be, I can live without you being kind, for which I've given up all hope. But, I cannot and will not abide people who refuse to be civil when I can simply stop your access to my space.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka She Who Is Done With facebook, For Now

A Butterfly Flaps Its Wings In My Yard...

I'm sure you've heard the sentiment, "A butterfly flaps its wings somewhere and the wind changes, and a warm front hits a cold front off the coast of western Africa and before you know it you've got a hurricane closing in."  It's a way to explain Chaos Theory which basically goes to teach that for every action we take good or bad, it impacts something, somewhere down the line in ways that we can't predict or even imagine.  For me, it's a good reason to sit still and do absolutely nothing for the rest of my life because, well, who needs that kind of power or lack of control?!  

However, since I've decided to create this blog post, I'm sure that my decision will impact events in ways I didn't envision, so I may as well continue.  You may want to get out your storm gear just in case.

At the very edge of my property runs what is left of the driveway that lead to the tiny farm house that was home to the people who owned the farm this development now rests on.  It was tucked up in a canopy of over-growth and trees.  You could tell it was once loved as day lilies still bloomed close to the foundation.  By the time the developer bought this 50+ acres, it didn't much resemble a farm and the house was falling to ruin.  We all hoped the small house could be saved, but it would have cost way too much to reclaim it.

All that is left of the original owners is the long driveway and some of the huge pines edging it.  It's taken me awhile to get used to the notion that I have a driveway as the last few feet of my property, but it has come in handy when we need to get mulch or other things to the backyard.  A truck fits down it quite well.

Over time, the concrete has broken up and fallen apart further along the drive, but up at our end the first four home owners still have concrete. It's become wild and overgrown as the years have gone on. While we have our grass cut as part of our monthly dues, wild areas are left to the homeowners to manage as part of their property. We aren't a condo association with all the exterior being common ground.  We each own our quarter-acre property as well as the house that sits on it.

Our home owners association, envisioned ours to be a 'no fence' community, at least for the patio homes.  This means that we all have the freedom to do what we wish when it comes to gardening.  We liked the idea that one would see a continuous vista of green open space with the Laurel Highlands as the back drop.  It's one of the best views I've ever been blessed with as a home owner.

It's actually worked out very nicely.  We all collaborate with each other about plants and flower beds and other things we wish to do so that it's become quite a close knit group.  We all benefit from the additions and plants.  It's park-like. We've given an open invitation for our neighbors to feel free to use our fire pit anytime they'd like.  And there's a great deal of chatting back and forth when we're out.  Nice.  Very!

The other day My Lion said, "I'm going to get a quote to have the landscaper clean out the back.  I want to be able to get a vehicle down there again.  And, we have to keep it cleaned out so that the gas utility people can get to the gas line for service.  Can you talk with the neighbors to see if they want to participate?"

To be honest, over the ten years we've lived here, it had become a real mess.  My neighbor Theresa and I especially dumped our yard waste down there.  I mean, what are you going to do with all the cut back?  The trash company won't take it to the landfill and we don't have a recycling spot that will accept it so it seemed an easy solution.

It turned out it wasn't our best idea.  Why?  Because as it got more and more filled with yard debris and grass clippings, it's become a bridge from the farm directly behind us to our yards for ground hogs and snakes and you name it.  And, as it became more overgrown, we've had lots of incidences of neighborhood kids using it for whatever nefarious deeds young people are want to do. The last straw was finding what turned out to be my neighbor's stuff strewn about and picked over after her car was broken into and well, enough was enough.

I talked with my neighbors on either side.  Theresa immediately said she agreed and would contribute.  My neighbors on the other side said they'd have to think about it.  The neighbor on the other side of them said, "No, I'll have my guy take care of it like he does twice a year.  Thanks."

Last Friday, the landscaper came with a small bobcat and they got to work to cut back the trees and brush and weed-wacked till it was down to the low point.  The bobcat was used to shorten how many hours he'd have to charge to have them remove the debris by hand.  It was either pay for the equipment rental or pay them per hour for clean-up.  We went with the equipment option which was actually a bit cheaper and I am certain they all breathed a sigh of relief when we did.

In about four hours time they had it returned to the way it looked when we moved in- in fact better! Perfectly cleaned out and down to the original cement drive.  Now we have a natural fire break and the critters will possibly think twice before sauntering over to our yards.  I hope.  Theresa was pleased with the job.  We were completely pleased with the job.  Michael told the three neighbors what the job cost and asked them to contribute what they feel it is worth to them.  In case you're curious, the job cost $1500.  He says, "Regardless if they want to contribute, the job had to be done so I did it."

Now, $1500 is a pretty big price tag and we're totally hoping that the neighbors will kick in, but if they don't we still feel we what was best for our property and for the good of the community.  So, I bet you're wondering why I started out this post with the whole Chaos Theory bit, aren't you?  I'll get to that now.

While the job was being done my neighbor, with whom we've been very friendly and who declined to be part of the job, rings the door bell.  I step out, big smile on my face because I'm always glad to see him and get totally bushwacked.  Totally.  He starts out by saying he's very upset and when I ask why he continues, "I thought we were friends!  And yet, without telling me that you're having equipment brought in and severely changing the grade of that back property, you just go and do it. I've called my attorney and if you cause a ponding, standing water issue for me, well, you're going to have to deal with my attorney."

Shocked, I answered, "I did call you and tell you we were going to have it cleaned out.  I offered you to be part of it if you wanted to have the brush and grass hauled away.  I know you have it weed-wacked twice a year but if you wanted the build-up removed, you could have done it!"

He went on to say we'd severely changed the grade and since he sits at the lowest point on the run, he'll have major issues.  I tried to tell him that we couldn't change the grade because the cement is already there.  He refused to believe me saying that cement only remained at the very top of the drive. I countered that he was incorrect.  Asked if he wanted to go back and look and he refused.

His parting words to me were, "I'm just really disappointed.  I thought we were friends and friends don't cause problems for friends." When he drove away I simply stood there.  Totally caught off-guard.

He's not spoken with us since.  My Lion says, "Once someone threatens me with their attorney, all conversation on my end stops.  I won't get involved with a treat. We have the pictures and a video that the landscapers shot that shows he already has a problem with standing water back there.  That's how they determined how far to go with the clean up."

Sigh.  SIGH.  MAJOR SIGH! Yes, I suppose this is one of those times when No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.  But, I have to say I am totally perplexed.  How can our decision to do what's right for our home and the homes immediately surrounding us, willing to absorb the total cost, be anything but a good thing?

How can a butterfly flapping its wings in my yard cause a total shite-storm Tsunami for our neighbor two houses away?!?  Can anyone explain that to me?  It seems Chaos Theory applies to people as well as our Universe, I suppose.

And, it turns out that Chaos Theory is correct; I never saw that one coming...

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka The Tsunami Starter

I Don't Know What Possessed Me At Walmart

Yesterday, I was standing in an aisle in Walmart.  Staring at the shelves for something I just knew should be there, but wasn't.  You know that stare...the one where you're looking in your refrigerator, just hoping if you look long enough, something you want to eat will magically appear.  Empty vacant stare  Not seeing what you want.  Wait, is that it?  Yeah?  No, false alarm.  THAT stare.

At any rate, while I was intently looking, to the corner of my awareness came people pushing a cart. My staring contest was slightly interrupted by a youngish male voice saying, "Well that's just stupid, Mom."  To which said mom replied quietly, "Please don't speak to me like that."  I continued staring for my desired item.

The very next statement the kid made was, "Well it is Mom, sometimes you sound dumb as shit!"

And I truly don't know what possessed me, but before I knew it, I could feel my eyes blazing, and I whipped around and to the kid I said, "Excuse me, young man, I do not know you but I will tell you this: don't you ever speak like that again.  This woman is your MOTHER and she deserves your respect.  She most certainly does not deserve to be spoken to like that EVER!  Especially not from you and especially not in public where others can hear your ignorance and wonder about how stupid you sound!!!"  There was a split second of shocked silence...I think all three of us were shocked.

The kid mumbled, "Well, she just sounds dumb sometimes!"  I felt the possession growing as I replied,"You don't get to say that to me or anyone else.  She is your MOTHER!"  He looked down and turned red.

Here's the funny thing.  While I was having the exchange with that kid, the woman standing beside me started to alter her being.  I could feel her energy change.  She was round shouldered and small when this got started, but I swear to you I could feel her shoulders pull back and her head come up and she felt secure...quiet...but secure.  It was so odd to feel that shift.

The kid mumbled petulantly, "I think I'm going to go wait in the car."  And both of us together said, "Good idea!"

I turned to walk away but before I left, I said to Mom, "Please forgive me for getting involved in your private business.  It's just that I know he was raised better than that, and you certainly deserve better than that from him."  She looked at me and said, "Oh don't worry about it, you're right, he was raised better than that."  She never acknowledged the most important part which is that she deserves better.  That's a real shame.

Here's what makes me wonder now in this age when we can no longer truly parent, discipline, correct, admonish, direct, or punish our kids for fear of social or legal retribution:  How do we deal with them when they become so emboldened that they have no idea of the limits?  How do we deal with them when we have entitled them to hold us emotionally and mentally hostage?  Like the boy yesterday in public, speaking like that because he probably knows his mother's not going to take the risk of  lowering the boom and being thought of as a bad parent? How is that in any way fair?!  Just?  How is it in any way good for a young person to have the world cow-tow to them and never get the crap smacked out them for being rude, mean, tyrannical? Why do we no longer believe in taking the immediate, sometimes harsh, measures necessary to gain an attitude adjustment?!  Why is their personal self-esteem more important than their manners and civility?

We become increasingly alarmed at the lack of civil connection young people seem to exhibit.  We bemoan how they all act as if it's all about them with never a thought about those around them.  We scream about the increase in bullying.  The increase in petty meanness.  Yet we don't seem to make the connection between the increase in terrible behavior with the way we have abandoned some basic tenants of parenting! The need to discipline, punish and set limits is a necessary part of parenting.  It's the key to turning a young wild animal into a Human Being fit for living in, and contributing to, society!  Setting limits is part of loving a young Spirit...so is just discipline.  They are actually a form of love just as much as a hug and a kiss.

How did we allow this world to turn the need to set limits, require one to speak in a respectful, civil way, and basic discipline of a young person into a sin and a crime?!

Oddly enough as I walked away, I realized all that time I was in the wrong aisle; I wanted the next aisle over. That's where the hot sauce I was searching for is shelved.

Namaste' Till Next Time,
Holly aka The Thunder