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Thursday, September 25, 2008

8:20 PM

Awwwesome! As of this current moment, today feels like it hasn't happened. The root cause of my recent sleepless nights have been pulled out and i'm feeling all liberated! ((:

Finally made it through the balancing test on the 2nd attempt today. Prayed on and on and on about it. Somehow, the fact that we had someone who's taking the test for the 7th time wasn't really comforting. Unlike public road, this test required real skill and an element of luck. Cleared it without a hitch and i guess credit goes to 46guys and mr manikam. Damn hilarious la! 29 lubricating ducts lol.

Public road riding followed after the pass. Going at gear5 @ 50kmh in public really feels sooooo different from riding in the circuit. It feels so... Normal. Hehs.

Had this lil celebratory drink with mitch at coffeebean. Man. It's a well-deserved reward for all the blisters, time and nerve damage we put in. EDIFYING!

Night riding tomorrow and hopefully 0 accidents. (:

pillar

Monday, September 22, 2008

8:27 PM

The nightmarish period has finally passed.

Last night, I was still bothered so much by HSP and balancing assessments. How can i ever aloow myself to sink so low for such stuff? It doesn't make sense that I have to worry so much about this course when i seldom felt this way during JC. Guess this is what being a man in green is about. You suddenly feel empowered to do something for the HIVE and though it isn't rational, you go along with it anyway.

Well well well. From the Great Depression i experienced yesterday, today was definitely an improvement. I passed my HSP at long last. Thought i was gonna fail initially when i screwed up my first 2 boards. Praying does help, seriously. And at the end, I'm glad that i had somebody to share the joy and relief with. Another load off my mind was the balancing training. Finally was able to apply all the rojak advice and it amounted to being able to complete 95% of the circuit! HELLYEAH!

So now that the nightmare has passed, is my silver lining appearing anytime soon?

countdown

Monday, September 15, 2008

8:02 PM

Not too long ago, i came across an article about how much satisfaction people derived based on how they spent their money. It came as a surprise to me how it wrote that people were actually happier spending on a memorable dinner, date or holiday rather than something more permanent, like an ipod. I couldn't understand how it worked out then. Things changed yesterday.

Spent the later part of my sunday with girlf at j8. Simple night together with a pastamania dinner followed by the usual window shopping and desserts at swensens. Somehow, the date didn't feel too ordinary. There was just something special about it. Yup. Time just slipped by and before we knew it, the day had drawn to a close. A new week of school, new lessons and experiences awaited us.

Things went well today. If memory served me right, this is the first day since the start of this course that i haven't been scolded. Feels good for a change! ((: Could never expect this in my wildest dreams but am i actually getting to like this?

takeabow

Sunday, September 14, 2008

4:46 PM

Feels like i've been stuck in limbo for as long as i can remember. Days spent working for grades or just slacking away with friends seem so distant. Now, all that remains are just fears. Fears of getting injured for something i will never commit my future to, fears of not being able to make the cut when so many others before me have. Such a pessimistic phase of life.

It's time to do some proper time management. Still have to get into shape for all the physical tests awaiting us back at the unit and stay combat fit doing all this high risk activities while being treated like dogs by some people who cannot make it in the outside world. I often wonder why do i have to be subjected to all their mocking, insults and all when they can't even hold a candle to us any time outside? Why should i be feeling lousy because of what some lowly educated uncles are saying based on their less than perfect judgement? What gives them the right to scold us or laugh at us for being ignorant when it comes to such equipment when we have never really interacted with such stuff before?

I will get through this, stronger than before.

consideration

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

7:12 PM

Why?

Why the hell did i ever give this phase of life so much hope and effort, hoping to get somewhere when it's not gonna be something that lasts. Even if it did, knowing how this system works now sends your morale WAY south.

3 stripes can never rise above a bar. You're expendable while they're not. So why try?

Time here seems to be crawling. The dread level is also rising with each day. Who doesn't want to learn a new skill? It's just that picking something like this up takes more than effort. You risk fractures, wounds, the chance to lose the usage of a limb permanently and in the worst case scenario, you stand to lose your life.

Maybe i'm exaggerating here but the point i'm trying to make is, why bother? If people earning the same rank and recognition can do so for less, why put so much at stake?

On a more positive note, it's time to thank poor girlf who waited all the way till 3am just for me last night. Won't go into details here since noone's gonna be interested but yeah. It feels GOOD to be actually wanted/loved/fussed over so much. ((:

27missedcalls, and counting.....