nostalgia.

WELCOME
to my flimstrip, his-evolution.blogspot.com.

bold italic underline link

Monday, March 31, 2008

10:34 PM

In the blink of an eye, internship @ Maybank has come to an end. From hesitation to resignation to accustomation to demise. Yes. After a not long but not short stint of 3 months, the job grew on me.

As i bid my final goodbyes and exchanged farewell handshakes, couldn't help but feel the emotions beneath running amok. Something was churning. I knew that despite the routine-ness of the job, i loved it for every small surprise that came along. Fear of the unknown was dispelled by uncalculated plunges. Over time, the age gap closed up and i could almost feel as if this was my second home. Yes, there were the ever-present politicking and all but amid the negativities, there was genuine concern, mirthful laughter and underlings bitching sessions. ((:

Pretty much sums up the intangible experiences that came out of my first job.

Interview @ SMU School of Economics today. Arrived the latest for my batch but still on time nevertheless. It was really really quiet while we all waited for the interviewers. Decided to kickstart conversations doing weird things like sighing loudly and smiling to myself. As luck would have it, words were slowly exchange and the barriers of self isolation broke down. Led to a smaller room for our 2 on 8 interview. Fared decently i guess.

SKY OF LOVE?

bestofluck (:

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

11:01 PM

At times like this, i wonder if i'm too honest for my own good. Being honest to the point of stupidity has several demerits itself, including an absence of empathy.

Just like the lunches before this, everything went well till the trigger came. Seemed as if everything before that counted for nothing and hurts came like a downpour. Scurried here and there, back and forth due to weird twists of events and yeah. Time was merciless. It didn't wait while we took each other apart. Sidetracking to little mistakes set off mirth bombs.

Another time bomb waiting to go off?

The final stretch - 3 more days. It's amusing how i've always looked forward to this day only to be filled with mixed feelings. Going through the daily routines really sapped energy away. Small talks enlightened. Gossips were always a remedy for long days. Still, it's an unforgettable first job, albeit a short one.

...

Sunday, March 23, 2008

10:25 PM

Here i am once again, moaning and groaning about this currently purpose-less life. MUNDANE.

Entering the last phase of my working life. To say the truth, from what was supposed to be a resume buffing up event, it become something much more. Working life ain't anything like what you see on TV dramas. The gossiping and hierachy. The pride of the higher ups and the indignation of the small fries. All these came rushing in, almost too quickly and too much for such a short stint. Still, a message was driven home.

I FOUND MY CALLING.

More than ever, i know for sure what i want out of life. No longer will i go around moping about how i have no goal/aim/purpose in life. I NEED to work in a CORPORATE/FINANCIAL institution. I NEED to relish in RISING and RISING and RISING. I have a purpose- to pursue a limitless end. Hehs.

So work's coming to an end and enlistment is creeping up REAL fast. Time to do some army shopping and fat burning. (:

On a lighter note, sentosa on Friday was great. Ups and downs and DANGS. Got to see so many hidden abilities from our clique. Awesome people. Pretty good cooks too.

Rule #1 was good. Storyline was there and the acting, real. HAHA. Kept baby and me on the edge of our seats and having flu didn't diminish our utility from catching the movie. Not the super memorable kinda day but it was truly nostalgic with the post-movie activities.

purpose

Monday, March 17, 2008

12:23 AM

Factoring in talks and bits of news gathered from various sources, the prospect of having my mourning turned into singing seems closer than ever before.

I'm feeling really optimistic right now, though i don't really wanna get my hopes too high up.

Hoping for the best, bracing myself for the worst.

Back to putting up some updates of the days of my absence from posting. ((:

Hopped from one university to another, and in the process taking a mini tour of singapore. ntu&smu in first half of the tour where baby and me ended up lugging our info packs halfway round singapore. al&chun joined us for the second half of the uni tours to nus. It's kinda sad that we missed out on the NUS Business School talk but their willingness to check out Engineering more than made up for it. It is these times that make you really glad that there are friends around.

Then came the Youth LOCK-IN cum farewell for the 4 hunks that were leaving their comfort zones to undertake the great task of protecting singapore. Did i forget to mention that i was of one them? HAHAH JK! SO yeah. BBQ-ing after sermon was fun and FILLING. Even baby's tummy swelled to the size of an ethiopian kid's stomach, just that hers had food in it. The overdue stayover came and perked up the week, making the everything fall into place even more beautifully than they could be.

Gearing up to bounce with the BIG BALLS. See whose has a more striking colour!

cheeks

Thursday, March 13, 2008

10:18 PM

Acceptance. Wasn't till the release of the 'A' level results that i really grasped the true nature of this term.

More than just acknowledging a fact, it's about dealing with it as it haunts you constantly. First time ever that i had to grapple with a disappointment of such magnitude. Not during PSLE, not during the 'O's but at this important juncture of life. Am i a fool to actually slog my guts out for the past 10 years only to squander it off in less than 2 years?

These stupid questions haunted me, yes. HAUNTED. Having this word appearing three times in that same number of paragraphs just emphasizes my point. Imagine having visions of how people scorn you and despise you every night to sleep and waking up to the same nightmares the next morning. Life is really more complicated than it should be.

Foolish notions crossed my mind. Should i just give up on church since He departed? Must i now settle for anything that comes my way? Wherein lies my value of existence now? Feels like i've become an overnight liability to my parents, giving them the unnecessary stress that you could have done without at this age. A blight to my girlfriend in future. A shame to my own self. I sunk deeper and deeper.

Slowly, TIME worked its magic. I started accepting things as they were and understood that any whining or depression won't change those grades on the results slip. Started picking up the pieces and it wasn't easy but baby did all she could(not a very good counselor though :)) ).

Now, it's come to the time to hope for the best but prepare for the worst. I'm gonna do everything in my capacity, to the best of my ability just to enter accountancy damnit.

It ain't easy, but at least i tried.

chokehold

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

9:49 PM

With examinations comes results. How we anticipate or prepare for them differs from individual to individual.

This time last year, we were all counting down the days to the MEGA 'A's. Now, the main thing that preoccupies every 2007 GCE Cambridge 'A' Level graduate's subconscious mind is how they'll actually fare. It's also at this precise time that rumours start circulating. While some are just pure reassurances, many just add on to our growing pressure.

So as from today, the countdown clock reads 3 DAYS. How best can we all remember these days of days of crossed-fingers anticipation? Perhaps thoughts of how we all could have done that little bit more or how we should have or shouldn't have done certain things may have swelled out of nowhere. More than ever, we might be doing some soul searching but all that, and more won't change the grades we're getting. Here's where higher beings come into the picture and regardless of what you believe in, prayer works wonders.

Nothing can prepare me for 2.30pm @ NanyangJC but what has to come, has to come. All of a sudden, Prasad's words of wisdom from a few years back comes to mind.

How true.

vows