HELLO.

Back here once again.
So excited for New York. And im going with my boy! haha!
Doing all the planning cos we are staying there for a good 3 weeks, living in an apartment there so we save up on hotel accommodation! hooray! lets see how it goes! (: SHOPPING is LOVED esp with bb! (:

And i love my new blackberry. Its good.
anw i have not been using the old no. Got a new no. cos my old bb died after dropping down from 2nd storey ):

But anyway, dear beloved cousin, i have already proved you wrong. So if you would wanna continue all these shits and say things to pull me down, i am sure im better off than you now. Just cos there are things you couldnt get dun stir shit and gossip. So now you know why the rest of the cousins dun even like you. Cos you always wanna be better than anyone else. if not, you try all your means to pull people down. i have already ignored you, my dearest. At least i work hard to show you. i dun wish to be this way to you but you are being too much to everybody. And please you go get your license before telling ppl that if you want, you can afford a new car not like me, 2nd hand car. Luckily my dad stood up for me. Even all the relatives. i already kept quiet when everybody told me wad you said, with all the comparisons. ok la, whatever, i dun wish to be bothered by all these. Out of my life now. my life is meant to be happy! (:

Have a good day people.

Oh WOW!
Im Back. Anyway I have just started a new chapter of life. Since March? haha! Been Almost 2 months.
Pretty good aye! Busy with this and that! And yes BB 9900 rock the world! Finally! This is almost part of the new life. Everything bad has ended. New good stuffs started. Time to catch up! So yeah. i did manage to travel once a month. Since March. April i did too! So next station is New York. Idk when, maybe few months later but this is the life i want.And a new relationship. So the past month has been great! I hope end of April everything can still be the same. Time frame is so short but well..  

San.

CNY 2012


not much but I love my nude pink dress a lot. told myself that I should have gotten black one as well. Sucha sweet piece in nude pink. Someone commented that i should leave it for Valentines' Day. haha!

This year nothing much la. Just questions like when am I getting married. Ferlysia, the one in the middle, got married last Christmas. So weird to receive angbao from her who is only a year older than me.

When I Knew Nothing At All.
Looking at those pictures, i told myself, i should try to take lesser/dun even take anymore. Memories hurt like a knife. Don't you agree? No, not memories. When you realized that it can only be one-sided's memories.


ANYWAY, Tues, 17 Jan, had Company CNY Dinner @Furama Hotel. Had buffet. Ok la didn't eat much. Afternoon was buffet @Sakae. Who on the right mind eats 2 buffets in a day? But nvm la, Company's treat. Great bonding too! Funny ppl. A GREAT TUESDAY. Super Funny. Uncle Ryan called and asked if i wanna help to do spring cleaning on Friday! Other than being really strict at work, he is actually a very nice person. (:

A few more days to CNY. not particularly into this festive mood actually. There are a lot of things running in my mind now. Just a lot which set me thinking what am I? From getting cny goodies(those abalone hamper etc), to getting clothes for whoever, to taking pictures, to bai nian-ing, to the way you talk AND MORE.

Time really flies!

DE-O DE-O! NEW YEAR 2012! 

Right. I did mention before hopefully im in for New Year's Eve right? And i was! (:
I wouldn't say it was boring cos i didn't exactly went out to countdown. Ya, once a year yet i didn't. But at least a sweet stayover, isn't it? Stayed over at my P's place. Nothing much. Just quality time tgt, munching on macd and watching teevee. The show we watched just freaked me out. When P left me alone in the room, i had to jump off the bed and grab P. Cos i was timid & scared.  But still i prefer Xmas Eve. hahaa!

Sadly pictures all gone. All deleted in a fit of anger after a small heated argument. You may not understand how i feel. But yes, i was in the wrong with my tone. I dun know how to put it in words but like i said, i kept it to myself cos i know this won't get me anywhere and i should have suppressed my anger. So I would say the start of 2012 wasn't that great? But hope it will be fine later on, when P's up.

We don't really have a very strong history to start off with, but at least, ever since i met you, things were a lot happier and 2011 ended off with a great full stop, managed to cover those unhappy stuffs in the past. I just want you to be happy (or happier) in 2012.So I do hope anything similar to this won't happen again. Mostly my fault la, think too much and paranoid which changed my attitude and tone which led to that.

So much i wanna say but guess i won't do it here. So this post is going to end with a great smile. :D
HAPPY NEW YEAR, 2012! Have a great year ahead alright. (:    

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

oh wow! didn't expect this year's xmas to be this great!
more like the companion!
Alright, sadly i had to work on xmas eve but that's alright. It was the last lesson of the year and a handful of them are leaving cos they "graduated". It was sad ok with all the hugging!

After work was attending Ferlysia's Wedding! i left halfway through and went for my date! hehe!

So, went to Fairway Pub and had a blast!
R opened a bottle of Chivas! beginning i was all so bored till i got high from the alcohol.
i seriously think i can't hold liquor well! but i wasn't drunk! And those clubbing music started playing. Our table were so high and we danced to Sorry Sorry! Super funny. all 4 of us! The way i talked was totally different when i first entered the pub cos ppl kept asking why am i so quiet. Till almost the end, R's friend kept mentioning finally he saw me smiling widely. lol! Our table ah, lol, so high over songs like Waka Waka, ah mei's song, the lyrics has "say hey" or sth, we kept hey-ing! Left the pub at 3 am plus. Chilled at R's place before we left the next day at 4pm. ya, 4pm! Homed, rested a while and out i went to R's again and no more hard liquor! but wine instead. Nice!

Overall, i really enjoyed this year's xmas! I guess over these years, i am the happiest this xmas! It may just be a short while cos i had a wedding to attend and work in the morning, but that few hours spent on eve was awesome! i love this day! 

It's gonna be Xmas once again? oh well, just another day i guess (: but i do love this day. Plans for this day is still uncertain but i have a wedding to attend. Headache thinking which dress to wear. Definitely gotta be in heels. Hair, shall just see my mood that day! Finally the day is coming. The 22 year old bride and a 36 year old groom have longed for this, after their exactly 5th year tgt on 24 dec, their wedding day. So sweet! Hopefully a lot of pictures will be snapped! (: Its every girls' dream to be in beautiful wedding gown, walking down the aisle, saying I Do. I didn't expect hers to be this early at the age of 22. But this reminds of of Rachel! She got married last year, at 22, to her husband, 30! Age gap isn't a problem i would say. Just like looks!

Anyway, would hope to be able to celebrate Xmas and New Year! errmm, know what im referring to/saying?

I will put a awesome full stop to Year 2011 on 31 Dec!
& start a new chapter of life. Be it with things I am not used, with or without.

im listening to more Chinese songs now! hahah! Suddenly i feel so old. Cos someone was telling me what if we met earlier, maybe when i was in jc. that year i was 17? Come to think of it, i find myself to have changed from a childish person to who am i now. i was very childish i think. i was impulsive, i make decisions without thinking what consequences i have to go through. And after so many years, i regretted my decision then. Of cos things changed. At then i didnt have to work any part time jobs. Life's different now la. 4 years just passed like that. There are things you always wonder, why didnt it happen earlier etc. And what does it mean when u think it that way? A good thing? To me, it is a positive thing if someone were to think of it like that. Cos maybe it refers to someone you thought would be nice stepping into your life earlier, or may be sth pleasant? haha! idk. different perspective. Honestly, when i was 17, i haven't even experience what's love in a bgr. My first relationship only happened when i was 19, going 20! and im 21 now. what a joke right. Ppl said first relationship always last longer. i doubt so. Mine was barely a month. lol! im just curious, how does it feel like to be in a relationship for years?

When ppl revealed to me they have been with their gf/bf for 3 years, 4 years, 5 years and 7 years, i was like wow! And they are all around my age! such a blissful thing. (: But one of them told me, the depth of love cannot be measured by the number of years they have been tgt. Its about the feel. Cos i always thought the longer you have been with him/her, the more you love him/her. but well, seems like it may not be true, idk. The one im talking about is a friend who had a 5 year long relationship but still the relationship ended(last yr incident). 5 years, mind you. This friend of mine got into a new relationship soon after and told me that. oh well, dk la.
ok random. but well that's what i felt like typing.
Bye.

decided to be here again.

how's my life? ehh not any better.
been reaching home at 1plus am 2? sometimes 3plus 4am.
mum will of cos be angry but i cant be bothered now.
screening out those family probs, im kinda enjoying whatever im doing.
at least im happy!

just one more day. has been a month alrdy, can u believe it?
a month plus ago, was planning what to do on this day, what surprises to give, what gifts to get, what cake to bake. and i told myself, the value of the things ain't impt. it is the sincerity and effort. Needless to say i put in all my heart in doing every single thing. things just change way too fast.

need me no more.
this day is tomorrow.
love.

hello, been a long time since i last typed a proper entry right?!
ok, life's pretty happier now i guess. :) if this can go on for the longest time.
chanced upon a few blogs and came across one, i got it. i mean ya maybe that was the past but ya, i just gotta apologize for my recent acts, maybe too attitude yeah?

im happy that they are still showing concern for me. JC friends, poly friends. year 1, 2, 3 friends. all are still there. thou we seldom meet up due to our clashing schedule.

and of cos that someone who loves me and is always there for me. This person knows so much about me, esp my family probs. i can say i love this person too. cos this someone will always see me cry, smile, laugh when i feel like.

all i know is im different from others. just one dayyy...

oh holy shit.

the lucky person is her not me. And now i realised looks ain't important at all. for once, i didnt care about it. ermm including tdy, it will be my 2nd night without slp. and 2nd day without any food intake. YES WITHOUT. everything is going to change. i may some day get drunk and vomit till there's no tml. I will. So i guess u know how i feel inside. more like, i dun wanna accept that fact.

Sandy uh Sandy. u know no matter how hard u try, its never gng to change. still her even many years down the road. ohmyholyshit.

iloveyou.

Self-Esteem Issues.

i guess most or rather all girls have this issue. that is why make-up came into the picture. I was once told not to put make-up. But sadly, make-up is the only source i feel more confident(not fully) in. So when ppl were to still say im ugly with make-up then im really a total failure in make-up. im not an expert la but well, i can live without it, the most i just scare you away. and my partner. or maybe my future husband gets a shock upon seeing my bare-face, pretty ugly.

Broad shoulders. i have it. which makes me look im very big sized. this sucks. Semi broad is fine. mine is very broad. grrr. and i have a big fat face! :(

high forehead. i have that too. which bothers me in the past. now i think im fine with it.

im 171/2cm tall. i used to want to be taller (175) den i became conscious abt it cos relatives alw disturb me commenting that im way too tall, no wonder no bf etc. that period of time i said why cant i be just 165! and now, im pretty happy with my height. hello, who says my height wont allow me to find a bf much taller than me? i found 183/4cm one ok! Bleahh!

i know im heavy. many said so. and my fats aint going away. im working on it now. im determined now. cos i dun like to be recognized as "the big size" one uh. its pretty hurting. Self-conscious. i dunno their big size means fat or tall or tall+fat. either one. tell me what am i please! haha!

boring! an hour more to go! shucksssssss!

21st faster come la! i need a break. i hate working life. :( thou tdy is my 6th working day! 7 more to go! i wanna go shopping pretty please!

& GENTINGGGG! :D

and tdy is the 3rd day. omgg, im missing you like crazy i doubt u know. maybe cos i nvr show. GRRRRRR.

bye.

alright, its fast! tml's the 12th! on the 13th im holding my 21st.
well, not really well planned. buffet, resort and that's all i guess? w alcohol, cameras.
sad to hear quite a number of my close friends ain't able to make it. yeah i know holidays time. well, cake cutting, bonding with friends and family is enough i guess. B managed to take leave so he will be there on fri night onwards. most happy thing. know why? he wasn't able to. and each night when he reach will be like 10pm? hahah! well, i hope it wont be too simple. :)