Delayed Gratification❤

I guess having a laptop really does makes one feel like re-blogging. Well, at least in my case. Hahah.

So, Uni life has officially started for three days, and I'm having such a hard time transiting from JC, in which everything is spoon-fed to you, to Uni- you gotta be very independent. 8months worth of break is honestly taking its toll on me. I'm hardly catching anything during lectures. To think that I thought that I could at least be slack during the first week. Never would I have thought that proper lessons starts straight and I went to school totally unprepared- mentally and physically. No notes to refer, and my mental state wasn't at its best as well.

Sigh. Hopefully I'll be able to grasp things fast enough for me to not to lag behind!

Made a random remark on Facebook about getting me Flu Max at this hour, and Sav unexpectedly msged me and really wanted to get it for me. It’s such a sweet gesture, especially for a friend whom I haven’t met for years(: Thanks for the thought, really <3

Now I think I really ought to meet up with him and bake him his cake that I owed him for like.. 3 years? :/ Hahahah. Still, today’s such a nice day, being treated like this by a friend :D

Flu, sore throat, headache. And I sense a fever coming. FML, not when CT2 is just 2 days later. And I'm not done with revisions yet ):

No, I'm not going to reply you. I told myself I won't. So I won't. You missed the last chance I gave you.

Had such a terrible dream last night. It seemed so real, that I woke up in shock. But the love story was so touching. Lol, okay I think I'm talking crap. But all I know is that, you're the first thing that cones to my mind when I woke up.

I don't know why, but I'm feeling exceptionally low today. It's the kind of feeling whereby you just feel that everything is crashing down on you, and you're down there; hardly breathing. I don't know what made me feel this way; but I'm sure you're pretty much the reason. I just want this feeling to go away because it's weighing down on me so hard that I just feel like crying );

I need to be stronger; but I don't know how.

I've had enough.
I'm not anyone's fucking second option. So don't come looking for me only when you need me. I've got my own life to lead as well. Screw everyone who's bringing my mood down. I'm not gonna fucking care anymore. I feel so much more appreciated and treasured by my secondary school friends like Love and Nuthead. I don't need friends like you guys who take me as your second option, who take me for granted. I've had enough.

I'm not your fucking second choice.

I'm sick and tired of being made used of. Fuck off.

Just had this sudden urge to blog today, so decided to blog for awhile and then start doing my work.

The past weeks were hectic, with the revised timetable of extended school hours. Perhaps I still ain't used to such long hours in school; I find it really hard to stay focus especially during the later parts of the day.

Got back my progress report 1 not too long ago. Can't deny that I'm really upset over the results. From a ranking point of 76, it dropped to 50 odd. I know that it's because I haven't been putting in enough efforts. But I really can't help it. I just can't find the motivation to start studying earlier.

Mummy and daddy were upset with my results. I know that, I can see it from their expressions. What made me felt worse was that they didn't reprimand me. I really don't want to disappoint them.

Yesterday Jasmine just mentioned that she's waiting for me to claim back my first position in class. I know she didn't mean to give me pressure; but such expectations are really weighing down on me hard. The expectations from parents, friends, and even teachers; I'm finding it hard to breathe.

It's not like I don't want to do well. I want to do well too. But sometimes, I really just can't find the motivation and I really just feel like sleeping my life away ):

Someone, please help me get out of this shit. I need my motivator, I need to find back my mugging mood to study for the damn A's T.T

Goodbye 2010, goodbye my love.

Don't feel like blogging anymore.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEE~~

I managed to complete the 400 Biology MCQs today!! I'm so thankful that there are quite a number of questions that I can't do cause we've yet to learn the chapter. If not, I doubt I'd be able to finish it today!

Heh. Alrighty, time to sleep! If not I'd not be able to wake up in time tomorrow to meet Jasmine. Hahah. Nights earthlings!:D

Yesterday was FABBBBBBBBBBULOUS!:D

Met up with Love and Nuthead for Korean BBQ! Like finally! The side dishes were awesome; just that there were some which I don't really like. Hahah. Damn addicted to their special ikan bilis and pancake! Kept refilling those side dishes! Heehee!^^

Spend close to 2hours at the Korean BBQ shop and ate till our fill!:D The soup there is awesome too!^^ Muahahah. After lunch bus-ed to Chinatown for KOI! KOI queue was surprisingly short; that we had our KOI within 5 minutes. LOL. Headed for KBOX after that!^^ Soom and Hello are finally out, made me damn high during KBOX! Hahahahah!

Spammed pictures and songs, till my throat was seriously dying. Hahahah! Left KBOX at around 7pm! Train-ed to Vivo for dinner after that(: Bought Korean food again, cause we were all not very hungry. Hahah. So just bought some Korean street food and went to skypark to makan!:D

Smallboy came slightly after that, and had a great time there! Played games, did forfeit, and ate dinner!:D Love went to send off Smallboy to Genting, so Nuthead and I waited for Love to come back.

Love came back at around an hour's time later, then we went to get Coffee Bean and went back up to skypark again. Heh. Chatted till 11pm, until my Mummy called me :/ Headed to Safra to meet up with my parents, then home sweet home!^^ Heh. All in all, it was a fantastic day out!:D :D Can't wait to meet up with them again!:D

Today, wasted my whole afternoon watching T-ara's Hello Baby and Goguma Couple WGM :/ It was a total of 7 hours wasted, and I'm regretting it now cause I could've used it to do my homework. I really got to stop procrastinating and slacking!!

Sigh. Alrighty, enough of rumblings, gotta really go start work now. Ciaos~

Yay! Today's homework-day was a success afterall!

Managed to complete the last 5 questions of the Geography w/s and also 10% of the Biology MCQs. LOL. So, I have 360 MCQ questions and 15 essay questions left for Biology! Gosh. The thought of it totally turns me off. But still, I don't have a choice, do I?): Sigh.

But I'm glad I managed to complete some work today! So basically I'm left with Biology and Chemistry to complete. It may seem little, but there's A LOT to do): Gosh. After the KBOX session and dinner at Korean BBQ tomorrow, gotta come home and chiong homework again! Not to mention that I've yet to study for the block tests next year :O

I declare myself officially dead for this holiday!

Yesterday was A-W-E-S-O-M-E!

Haven't been meeting up with clan for OGL stuffs until yesterday. Was supposed to reach at 10am, but I reached at 8.30am cause I asked Daddy to fetch me to school. Hahahah(: 1.5 hours earlier; I think I'm kinda crazy but I think it was worthwhile cause I managed to complete 4 Geography questions within that time frame^^

Met up with Eunice in the canteen first and had a great chat!:D Heehee^^ Rachel came soon after then we went to meet up with the rest at the Ops Room. Finally started our painting!:D Yiren did a fantastic job sketching the picture on our clan banner!:D Awesome artist! Hahahah.

Painting on fabric is definitely much more fun than painting on paper. Heh. Beiling and I find it so fun to paint on our clan banner!^^ In the midst of painting, we started to have this paint war in which everyone got all dirty and messy. LOL. It was a funny sight looking at everyone's messed up hair and face; but it was a lovely experience too!:D

I wasn't involved in the paint war at first, until Jiaqi came and 'stamped' her handprint on my thigh. And from then on, it just gets more and more crazy. Hahah. Especially after our clan Hangtuah, involved the other clan that came to paint as well, the Vikings. Hahahah. I guess it was quite an awesome bonding!^^

The Romans came at around noon time too, but they didn't join us in the paint war cause they have yet to complete their banner painting. It was a pity, but I guess we can still have our paint war II next week when all clans come down to paint the gigantic banner^^

After attaching the banner to the poles and cleaning up, some of the Hangtuahs, Yuan Ning, Janise, Shan Yi, Zhi Guang and Jun Yi gathered near the drain and started munching on chips^^ had lots of fun seeing people feeding others; and also Zhi Guang pouring the orange juice all over Ho Xian. LOL.

That group of us continued to play frisbee after that! But we had this mini pepsi "fight" before that. Hahahah. We all gathered in a circle and started passing around and shaking the pepsi bottle. And the 32nd person who shakes it would have to open the 'EXPLOSIVE' pepsi bottle. And guess who is the lucky winner? It's none other than Shaun! Hahahahah! And we all gathered together while Shaun opened the bottle, and I had pepsi all over my hair): And Shaun sprayed coke on my shirt too!

My hair was like damn sticky! T.T After the pepsi 'fight', almost everyone then played frisbee!^^ We played in the rain; washing my hair at the same time. LOL. Rain got much heavy gradually, and we stopped playing. Went to wash my hair and had a change of shirt then went to hide inside the Ops Room with Yuan Ning, Janise, Zhi Guang and Shaun.

Zhi Guang finally did his wu-lian-pai! He owed me for like damn freaking long already lah. Kinda like the feeling in Ops Room for once, maybe cause of the aircon and the company(: Heehee^^

And all of us in the room spent damn long to get Zhi Guang to sing for us! He finally sang Wo Bu Hui Chang Ge by Show Luo in the end. And it wasn't bad lah, kinda nice. Hahah. Went out and washed up the paintbrush then all of us went back home soon after(: Thank you Janise, Beiling and Shan Yi for accompanying me to wait for my parents!:D Heehee:D

Slept through the car ride home :/ And I was dead tired by the time I reach home. Slept at 10pm after having a damn thorough bath to scrub off all the paint. Woke up at 1plus am with a slight fever, though. But thankfully it went off when I woke up this morning for training(:

Training today was quite pathetic. Only Beiling, Jun Yi, Jefferson and I turned up for training today. But nonetheless, it was a fruitful session; perhaps due to the small amount of people. After training headed for lunch and settled the orientation stuffs for next year J1s(:

Came home and was completely beat, so had a nap at 4pm after bathing to get rid of my terrible headache. Woke up at 8pm and had dinner. Started to watch some Music Bank performances!:D Heehee.

Alright, time to sync some videos to my itouch and then start work! Just realised that I have to complete 15 essay questions and 400 MCQs for Biology. Not a joke, I'm totally serious. 400 MCQs. Gotta chiong homework tonight, cause I predict next week to be a very busy week!

On a happier note, I'M GOING OUT WITH LOVE AND AARON TOMORROW!:D Muahahahahahah! Finally, finally!^^ Gonna have Korean BBQ as well! Woohoo!:DD

Dreamt that someone came and told me that you're attached to ______.

It was such a terrible dream that I woke up this morning in fright.

You've got no idea how afraid I was.

Insecurity, you're building up on me.

Just how bad can it get?
Tonight's one of the worst night ever.

Haven't been listening to music while going to bed cause of the late nights. I guess my company tonight will be the heavy rain and music.

Shouldn't have checked, shouldn't have seen, shouldn't have felt.

Sometimes, I wish I'm one without emotions.

Weather is being emotional, I'm being emotional too.

I guess it's one of those emotional days yet again. Tonight, the heavy rain shall be my company.

Gosh. I've got no idea why am I awake at this hour when I slept at 5am yesterday. Couldn't sleep and my cramps was keeping me awake the whole night): Sigh. I think I'm seriously sufferring from insomnia or something.

I've been turning in during the wee hours and waking up during noon time recently :/ So I officially declare my body clock screwed): Sigh. I wanna change and turn in early but I seriously just can't fall asleep!! Sigh. And oh! I think something is seriously wrong with me cause I dreamt that BEAST Junhyung replied to my tweet -.-

I think my brain needs some treatment):

Dang.
Was planning to turn in early today for once, but my terrible cramps is keeping me awake): It has been ages since I last experienced such bad cramps): Sigh. I wanna sleep):

The rain is gonna make me sleepy-er. Hopefully I'd able to get some sleep tonight. Cramps, please go away!