Monday, November 10, 2014
Being alone is therapeutic.
It is as if you are having a conversation with yourself, organizing your thoughts and making yourself calm and relax.
Being alone is sometimes sad, but not in a bad way.
It makes you ponder and count the blessings instead of being ungrateful for whatever that you do not have.
Being alone does not make you a loner; it is simply having all of yourself for yourself.
♥5:16 PM
Friday, September 05, 2014
Let's be frank.
I miss having a 'me' time.
):
♥3:04 AM
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Bismillah..
I have this one tiny weeny insecurity;
CONFIDENCE
"You know how you have always been
a woman of confidence?"
That statement, was always the statement I received
whenever I voiced out something,
whenever I wanted to give my opinion spontaneously,
whenever I was given a challenge be it physically and mentally,
whenever I wore something weird and flaunt it in public but still appear genuine,
whenever I need to have eye contact when communicating with the opposite gender,
whenever I need to complete a task or was told to do something that I have never done before,
and whenever that I feel like I am having confidence in anything and everything that I do.
Honestly,
that was a thing of the past.
Today,
I would always feel insecure and helpless in anything and everything that I do,
I would always give excuses for not doing something that I am not comfortable in doing it,
I would look away or stare at the mouth when communicating with the opposite gender,
I would always worry of what people would think when I wear this and this,
I would rather be in my comfort zone than taking up any challenge,
I would not give my opinion unless prompted or forced to,
and I kept mum rather than having my voice heard.
So now you see what my problem is?
Have you ever wondered where my confidence has gone to?
Down the drain.
♥3:58 PM
Bismillah..
2 years passed, 2 years of not being updated,
and 202 things happened.
2012 - 2014
What might possibly happen in 2 years, you may ask.
My dad passed away. Failed my examinations. Extended my course of studies. Fell in and out of love. Moved houses. Escalated my online shopping experience. Spent most of my time crying and sleeping and mourning over unnecessary things.
These,
were the major events that sums up the whole of 2 years of
not updating this dusty blog.
2014
What's the next big thing, you may ask.
.
.
.
Planning for my wedding.
♥10:58 AM
The day I decided to update that blog,
after someone has forgotten the existence of it.
♥3:56 AM
I know that I will be accounted for.
I will be accounted for my friends' behaviours.
You know,
it is sometimes confusing to have friends from both sides of the world. You just could not blend in here, nor there. But you could mix well with them. You knew the topics to both sides. You knew who clicked with who and who doesn't. You knew them very well to know their likes and dislikes. You knew what could make them cry and what could make them laugh.
Yet,
you are not from the both sides, but they like being friends with you. Or even best friends. Though you are still reserving some of your thoughts, you still get along with them; who they are and what they wear. It is simply either you ignored, or,
you are just plain hypocritical.
Yes, hypocrite.
You know, the feeling of not wanting to lose them albeit the personality clashes, attitude problems, ignorance, backbiting, and whatnot.
I am sorry, dear friends, if I am being a hypocrite.
But I just could not help it. I did advised, I did what I could, for you to think of being someone better. I did not try to change you, but to persuade you into being the better you.
And I am sorry, dear friends, if I am being a hypocrite.
But I just could not help but noticing that you have changed to be someone better than me, thank God. But that does not mean that you can look down on me with my yet-to-change attitude or even my yet-to-change friends, with that, 'Hey, did you not advise them? Why'd you still hang out with them?' thinking. Or even worse, drifting away or putting up a barrier between us and
act as if nothing happened.
Come on!
It is part of your responsibility, too. Oh, now that you have changed and they are no longer your friends, hence no longer your responsibility?
Then I guess you have become worst than them.
♥5:54 AM
I am not lying when I say I miss blogging.
Only that sometimes the right words just wouldn't come out.
Or maybe it's just not the right time.
Yet.
♥7:53 AM
