I have been waiting a very long time to be able to make this update.
When Ozzy was diagnosed with EPM in 2014, I was devastated. To me, the disease meant the end of Ozzy's riding career. I treated him with Marquis and turned him out to pasture, my heart broken.
I have heard the stories of horses who come back from EPM to be ridden and even jumped again. I quietly nodded while people gave me anecdotes of horses who made come backs. It was their well-intentioned attempt at making me feel better, but it wasn't a risk I was willing to take. I had seen what EPM could do to a horse, and it was just about the worst diagnosis I could imagine for my bright-eyed, free-spirited adventure horse.
Ozzy was never a graceful horse to begin with, and his coordination was laughable at best. He was prone to tripping and fumbling even before he was diagnosed with neurological issues. Adding EPM into the mix made him just plain unstable. I watched him sometimes struggling to stop from the canter. I watched him occasionally wobbling as he came up for his dinner. I watched him fail to roll completely over much of the time. My biggest fear was that he would deteriorate. I promised that I would put him down before I ever let him get to the point that he was falling in the field or struggling to rise.
But treatment seemed to work. His symptoms stopped progressing. For much of a year, everything was status quo. Still, riding was off the table.
I had too much to lose. I couldn't afford to get hurt. Breaking my leg in 2013 was a wake up call, and an eye-opening experience. Even if the physical pain didn't scare me, I couldn't take that kind of financial hit again. Not now. Not when I have so many horses to ride and people to help. Not when I'm catch riding at every endurance ride I can get my entry in to. Not when Mike and I are building this life together. It would be irresponsible.
So I curled up on the kitchen floor in a drunken stupor and bawled my eyes out. Then I brushed myself off, moved my horse home, and watched his muscle waste away.
Ozzy has been content here. He and JR have become the best of friends. I watch them slapping each other with the feed pans on cool mornings. They swat flies off each other in the heat of summer. They are virtually inseparable in the pasture. For the first time in a long time, Ozzy has a horse friend. He is fatter than he has ever been, and that makes me happy. He comes over, ears pricked, eyes eager, every time I go out to the pasture. If I call him from across the farm, his head shoots up and he whinnies to me. I have spent countless hours grooming him, scratching him, brushing his mane and tail. He shows off his tricks to all our guests, and he has befriended many treat-bearing neigbors and their kids. Retirement has been good to Ozzy.
Still, something was missing. I rode many horses in the nineteen months that Ozzy was retired. I owned two very nice thoroughbreds. I bonded with Booger. I logged many memorable endurance miles on horses I am honored to ride. At the end of the day, though, none of them were Ozzy. None of them could hold a candle to my heart horse. At the end of the day, week, month, I felt a dull ache where my saddle time with Ozzy used to be. Even though I spend quality time with him daily, I missed my horse so much it hurt.
This winter, I talked to Dr. Bob, and he told me about Worthy, his American Show Horse. Worthy had been diagnosed with EPM shortly after Ozzy. Like Ozzy, his symptoms were career ending. He was falling on trail. He was falling just getting tacked up! And now? Now, Worthy was back to doing LD's. He was getting ready to do his first 50 following his diagnosis. Now, Worthy doesn't have any other underlying issues. He doesn't have a history of birth complications and lameness and tendon injuries and arthritis. His conformation is better than Ozzy's. He has never had Lyme. There was never a moment when Bob was telling me about Worthy that I thought, "Well, if Worthy can go back to doing endurance, so can Oz!" I am not delusional.
But I did spend a lot of time picking Doc's brain. He is a top notch veterinarian and his opinion is gold to me. I adore the man, and while I didn't blog about it, he saved Julio's tail last year when I thought we were surely going to have to amputate it. When Bob offered to hear Ozzy's story and give me his two cents, I pounced on the opportunity. As it turns out, my approach to Ozzy's EPM was exactly what Bob would have prescribed. And here's where he told me something that would change my perspective. It was something I knew already, but something I hadn't
really spent any time thinking about.
It takes a year for the damaged nerves to start to regenerate.
One year. That's about where we were at that point.
And so I started to look at Ozzy, to
really look at him. And he wasn't looking bad. In fact, he was looking better every day. He would see me coming and gallop up for his dinner, leaving JR in his dust. He'd stop, spin, buck on a dime. His trot looked better than it ever has. He was playful. He was sound. He was still goofy and wiggly, but he was balanced! He even started to physically look better.
I started to toy with the idea of evaluating Ozzy in the spring. My plan is to have a titer done when I get spring shots at the end of the month, just to have a comparison to our baseline from 2014, to have some numbers to back up what I'm doing here.
My ultimate goal became being able to walk and trot the trails behind our house some day. I have no timeline. I have no grand plans. I just want to be able to enjoy time with my favorite horse.
The final straw was when Kim and her barn owner came to the house to pick up a jump order. Kim commented that Ozzy looked much better than the last time she'd seen him. Her barn owner seemed startled. When I told her about Ozzy, she replied, "There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with him..."
Yesterday was the big day. The ground was dry. Mike and I had no plans. Nobody else was around. Tookie and Oreo were down at the far end of the farm, where I could easily contain them. When I went down to the field, Ozzy greeted me eagerly. He seemed mildly surprised when put the rope halter on him and led him to the barn.
I threw Ozzy on cross ties for the first time in a year and a half. I groomed him as best I could given that it's mud season. He gave a surprised huff when I tossed the saddle pad on his back, but stood quietly, moving only his ears as I saddled and girthed him.
I led Ozzy out to the round pen and let him loose. The other horses were carrying on. The last time I had my guys out of their pasture and immediate surrounding area was a year ago, almost to the day.
Off Ozzy went, in just a saddle and rope halter. I watched him walk, trot, and canter. He was full of piss and vinegar and he looked
good.
I called Ozzy in to the center and bridled him. It was tricky through all his hair. If we keep this up, I'll give him his bridle path back, but I don't want to jump the gun. I put Ozzy in the side reins, set nice and loose. They didn't do much, but he did seem to remember what the bit was all about.
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He does have good hair. |
We spent about ten minutes just lunging. Ozzy is definitely unfit, and he has never enjoyed round penning, but he seemed happy just to be doing something again. It wasn't beautiful, but it was work. For the first time in a long time.
Eventually, I decided to just take the plunge. I tested to make sure Ozzy still remembered his 'parking brake'. He was supple, buttery soft.
I lined Ozzy up with the mounting block, leaned across his back, and asked, "Do you remember what it's like to be a riding horse?"
Then, I took a deep breath, and threw a leg over. Up until that point, Ozzy had been a little antsy, distracted. It wasn't a surprise. I don't expect to pull a horse from the pasture for the first time in over a year and have him be a perfect citizen. But, the second my butt hit the saddle, a change came over Ozzy. He was all business, and even though the first few steps we took were unbalanced and ugly, I remembered that I trust this horse like no other.
My face was hurting from smiling already. Even if we didn't take another step, I felt complete.
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Together at last. |
I only rode Ozzy for about ten minutes, and we kept it strictly to the walk. Still, it was enough. This one ride gave me more joy than any ride I've had since the last time I sat on Ozzy. I have never been so excited to walk in a circle before.
Best of all, Ozzy seemed to remember everything. I could feel that he wasn't 100% there physically, but his mind was completely in the game. He moved right off my leg. He was all business. Around and around we went, and he seemed genuinely pleased.
At the end of our ride, I went through all our turns. Turn on the forehand, check. Turn on the haunches, check. Side pass, check. Rein back, check. I'd swear the horse has been practicing for this moment.
Of course, we posed for some photos before I got down. At this point, Ozzy totally melted my heart. I leaned over his neck for a picture, and he craned his head around, actually reaching up towards me. I kissed his forehead and his lipped at my leg like he does when he grooms me back. I was pretty teary eyed at that point.
We called it quits there and I stripped Ozzy's tack right there in the round pen. I think this was his favorite part. He found a dry spot with good, rich dirt and down he went. He had the most satisfying roll I've seen in a long time, and he even rolled all the way over! He finished it off with a good full-body shake.
I walked Ozzy back down to his pasture on a loose lead, and he was still peppy, though slightly sweaty from just that little bit of work. I turned him loose and he drank deeply before going back to his regularly scheduled life.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have my horse back!