Conversation With Mom 6

Mommy, I was helping Abang with some Maths just now and I totally screw it up and it brought my recollection to the time I was in Standard 6 and you use to help me with my Maths problems.

I remember that you would usually get the answer right but the calculations you did were always wrong. It is still strange to me how you got the answers right when you always erred with your calculations.

Fond memories. That's all that is left of you now.

Tomorrow Abang, Along and I will have an outing with your younger sister. It'll be strange going on an outing to meet her without you when all previous outing before this were accompanied by you. I suppose we will do a lot of reminiscing when we meet her tomorrow. It is hard talking about you to those who barely knew you, but this wouldn't be the case. For what it's worth I do believe she loved you in her own ways and it'll be wonderful to talk about you to someone who also loved you.

Mom, this 24th of September will we go back to Pahang to get your kalang (grave base) fixed at your grave. I will see you then and will share with you all the happenings in our lives since I saw you last on Hari Raya (Eid).

But in the mean time, I'll share it with you here.

I went for an interview at NST on Wednesday. It went well I think Mom. I know you are looking out for me from wherever you are now and by the grace of Allah I hope I'll get into this training scheme. I want you to be proud of me Mom.

I know how you worried over your children's future while you were alive and I know if you are still cognizant you'd be worried still about us from where you are. I want you to know that I'm doing ok in life Mom. That my life is turning out all right.

Oh, I want to tell you about Grey. You know how she used to love to sleep by your feet, and how you would always try to get rid of her? She now sleep at Along's feet and Along too finds it irritating.

We took Grey to the vet yesterday. She has gingivitis. Her mouth is infected and she is in pain. I am giving her medicine that the vet has prescribed. She hates it and it is really hard to feed her the medicine.

I know you would feel really bad for Grey if you are here still. I just thought I'd share the story about her with you. I know you loved her despite you always complaining that she makes it uncomfortable for you to have a proper night's sleep.

Mom, it hasn't been bad for me in a while. I miss you yes, but the aching sorrow that would have me bawling in tears has not reared it's unhappy head in a while. I don't know if it means I'm getting used to not having you around or that it's just a lull until the next attack comes. But whatever it means, know that I still miss you - EVERYDAY.

I love you and I miss you.