First Noble Truth

"All life is suffering."

Dyan mentioned to me while we were returning from Cambodia to Vietnam.

The bus was already near-border.

I listened intently.

"It's called Dukkha - the First Noble Truth of Buddhism." She went on.

'"But for Buddhism, in order to attain that sense of enlightenment or "Nirvana", one has to suffer everyday."'

"Talagang araw-araw? Kailangan talaga iyon?" I inquired.

"Oo."

"So today you suffered and tomorrow you will also suffer. It resets daily."

"And that's when the problem lie. They think that because today they suffered, tomorrow would be a better one."

She went on while eating a piece of bread.

Tama naman siya. Ganoon mag-isip ang tao. Pati na rin ako.

Sino ba namang gustong makaranas ng paghihirap araw-araw? I surely don't. And I know majority of the people don't.

"Kasi yung desire natin kailangang pantay." She continued.

"Paano'ng pantay when it comes to desire?"

She narrated an example, "Let's say you desire beer..."

"Bakit beer?!"

"Example nga lang!"

We laughed.

"So there is desire for beer. Nung wala pa yung beer inaasam-asam mo na siya. It's something that you want, and then you order one. So when the waiter gave you the beer, you drink it. While you were drinking it, you're also desiring that moment. Then naubos na. Now when that comes, you desired the moment na naubos na siya and want some more."

Her story ended.

"Now that's what Buddhism teaches us, that we have to suffer because we still have not reached that equal desires kaya pag nawala siya, hindi mo siya hahanapin. Kasi nga equal desires."

"That also applies to attachments - whatever attachments mean to you."

I love the premise. Ang ganda ng pagkakakwento niya, that desires and attachments should have equal footing.

The premise is good but inculcating it to real life is difficult.

Because people think the world can be unfair, right?

But when you go introspectively, you say to yourself: "Well, it's not really that bad."

And I think that's how you go on living. You live with the moment. That everyday is a fresh new start. You may suffer, yes, but that doesn't mean you cannot attain happiness as well.

So here I am writing about happiness while having a bout of depression.

Suffering yet the desire to fight weighs more. Much, much more.

The bus halted at the border. Passengers were advised to go down. We slowly got up, took our bags and went out of the bus.

Dyan finished her bread while I took a huge gulp of soymilk from the plastic bottle.

"It seems to me that certain patterns of thoughts are so simple and one-sided that they become irresistible." - Toru Okada, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami