I Realized That...

Right now after all the denials and frustrations brought about by loving and being loved, impersonally hurting and being hurt, emoting and being too emotional, forgiving and being forgiven.

I wasn't really into commitments.

I never was.

It was more of being emotionally secure - an attachment of the feelings to others to make me feel that the world, more particularly the society - is a safer place to live in despite of the heinous, idiosyncratic and oxymoron description it currently is.

What do you know, I'm still selfish after all these years of sharing and giving my life, effort and affection to others.

I had commitments but after a while I still date people for the sake of keeping the commitment exciting and non-monotonous. I know, I know, how foolish I must have been to possibly think that someone as insecure as me can have something as sacrilegious and vividly important as a RELATIONSHIP.

I couldn't and I surrender with my arms up in the air as if being held hostage, something that I was framed up for an action I didn't even intend to do.

Or did I?

I want emotional attachment but physical detachment, that's what I realized. The freedom. 
 
Why is everyone so emotional nowadays?

Raging hormones?

Imbalanced neurotransmitters?

Emotional disturbances?

Too much spare time to think of what not?