Help Yourself Friends

I was thrilled to receive this lovely gift of aromatherapy hand and body lotion from Mimi that she made up herself. She chose *balance* and *harmony* as the ingredients, as she obviously feels this will do me good. This cream has a lovely smell.

She also made up the lovely card to go with it and that smelt of roses. Marvellous gesture and very much appreciated.

Mimi lives in Eire and the package crossed the Irish Sea in a boat, I think because it took a long time to get here. Bristol had had a postal strike at the time she sent it but it plopped into my house yesterday.

I put some on my hand and sniffed it as I fell asleep and I managed to get over 5 hours which was lovely as I hadn't been sleeping well before that.

I am hopeless at giving out awards as I usually have to get my son to help me and do not like to be a nuisance. However I found this one in a folder from the past so I didn't have to go into my awards gadget, that I find hard to fathom out. If there is anyone on my blog who considers themselves a friend of mine, then please take an award.

You are more numerous than the stars. Well no...... that's an exaggeration.... but too numerous to mention. I appreciate you all more than I can say.

Footnote: I attended a different hospital today to talk to a Consultant about my cancer diagnosis and future care.

The latest is that I have to have a CT scan in two weeks and after a thorough examination by him today, he says I have a secondary cancerous lump in my groin where they did a biopsy. He has so far found no evidence of cancer in any of the places that he has examined me.

If the CAT scan does not show any evidence of primary cancer, then he has enough knowledge from the biopsy of how best to treat the secondary. (Radiation treatment.)

It seems a superb hospital and I have my own cancer nurse who is there for me any time I have a query.

It seems that there is a good chance that I will never know where the primary cancer is and he told me about another lady who was almost identical to me with her diagnosis and after having her radiation treatment and getting her lump zapped, she went on to have no further trouble and after five years he discharged her.

I feel better now. Oh and he said I was fighting fit and that many nurses couldn't walk up the steep hill to the hospital that I bounded up in no time!

Fears In Abundance!

"The things That I Am Afraid Of!" is the subject that David Mcmahon from   authorblog: Weekend Wandering has set us this week. Well where do I start? There are lots of things and I am going to sound neurotic if I list them all. Well you seem to like it when I'm honest and bare my soul. I think I have touched on some of it before. So here goes...........

Number one on my list has to be the fear of depression, as I have had two very bad bouts of it in the past and I always realize that there is the possibility of "it" taking me over again, like Churchill's Black Dog! 

I mildly think about Altzheimer's disease and the possibility that I might be affected one day and the ensuing chaos it would cause to my family if I did. Following this, I think it would be awful to lose control of my body and have to be completely dependent on other people.

I am afraid of abandonment. This is because when I was a child, my mother used to say, "I will walk out and never come back." When I was getting on her nerves.

So my last post "Life feels Like A Storm" made me feel a bit like that and even though I am 66 years old, I felt very like I did as a small child again. This runs very deeply and I am still traumatized by this kind of thing. As it turned out, it was not such a terrible thing, as Sam called round yesterday and checked the computer and seemed just like his normal self. He said that Kaiko is fine and is so pleased to be in her own place. Well that is natural. I could not have lived 11 months with my inlaws, no way! Sam is bringing Amber over this afternoon as she has a birthday party to attend nearby. I am also finding I am less stressed and much more peaceful having the house to ourselves and so is Harry! Well, I am getting off track now so will move on to the next fear.

I think you all know my very real fear of my computer or router failing and not being able to get it fixed. No more blogging! That would be a nightmare. I really hate it when I am not in control of situations!

I hate public speaking and will never volunteer in church to read the lessons. I am a background person, snug in my little corner!

Well that just about covers all my major worries and all the little things like spiders and heights and flying, I can usually muster up the courage to do! Scoop up a spider, avoid heights, fly if I have to!

You might be puzzled by the photo that I used for this post? Well there is always hope or help round the corner. The triangular piece of sky is peeping through the clutter of trees and house and represents light, hope, help, God even. So that just about covers the subject!