Here are some tidbits of information I'm sure you've been dying to know.
1. What is his name? Nathan give-me-some-of-that-lovin’ Johnson
2. What is his Date of Birth? I’m pretty sure it’s sometime in May… or is it June? Either way I know he has one.
3. What is his social security number? 381-52-6969
4. How long have you been together? Since the pre-existence. When we were in heaven I sang the song, “Will I wait for you….” Pretty much like how it happened in Saturday’s Warriors.
6. How long did you date? Dating isn’t necessary when you know you’ve met your eternal companion. Love at first sight… need I say more.
5. Who eats more? What kind of a question is that? Uh, me. How else would Nate keep his manly figure? You’ve seen his old swim pictures. You know.
6. Who said I love you first? I don’t really remember. It wasn’t so much I love you, it was more like I lust you. In that case, it was probably me.
7. Who is taller? My dear sweet husband says he’s 5’10. He’s not. He’s only 5’9 (touchy subject, so I won’t go there) I’m only 5’3-ish, a tall 5'3-ish.
8. Who can sing better? My skills in shower singing far out do Nate’s. He will tell you, though, that he can actually follow notes when singing. I, on the other hand, have a tendency to make up my own parts. One shouldn’t be subject to sing all soprano or alto. Why not mix it up a bit?
9. Who is smarter? Really, does it matter who’s smarter? I choose to focus on our strengths, not our weaknesses.
10. Whose temper is worse? I make it a point to never raise my voice above a whisper when I’m angry. How can love and harmony reside in an environment like that?
11. Who does the laundry? The maid, and when the maid’s not around to do it, usually no one. But then when the laundry starts reeking and we’ve used all of our socks twice and worn our underwear both inside and out I eventually do it.
12. Who pays the bills? Usually no one. We’re playing a game, it’s called let’s see how much debt we can get in before we have to claim bankruptcy. You can play too. Let’s see who wins first.
13. Who sleeps on the right side? Nate would say that it’s not a matter of right or left. It’s a matter of who sleeps on the bed and who sleeps on a corner of the bed. In that case I sleep on the bed.
14. Who mows the lawn? Well we only have one lawn and that’s our imaginary lawn and Nate would be the one that mows our imaginary lawn complete with symmetrical designs. I like to mow the lawn too, except when I do it I like to write my name in cursive with the lawn mower. It’s pretty tricky, but can be done.
15. Who cooks dinner? Again, the maid. Thanks Mom, you’re the best!!! (I kid, I kid)
16. Who kissed who first? If you know me at all, you’ll know that I would never make the first move. I’m way too shy. Nate, being the mac daddy that he is, totally made the first move. It was kind of like that scene from the Note Book, minus the rain and the fornication.
17. Do you make it a usually practice to use the word fornication? Nope, first time and now that I’ve used it I don’t think I’ll ever use it again. Not a fan. What kind of a word is that? foooor.niii.caaate. Just doesn’t sound pretty, especially in slow motion.
18. Who asked who out? It was mutual. My grandma was there when we met. We both exchanged phone numbers then my grandma added, “Make sure to get your addresses. Back in my day we use to do drive-by’s”. My response to that was, “Grandma, we still do drive-by’s, except now a days they’re usually called drive-by shootings. I’m pretty sure it’s not the same.”
19. What attracted Nate to you? I’m sure it was my strong spiritual vibe that I was putting off.
20. Who wears the pants? Actually, we both do. We’ve tried going without and the results are not pretty. Not pretty at all.