What's it really mean to dream? ii

This is one in a series of posts in which Trish attempts to dissect the purpose and meaning of dreaming; of looking beyond what is to what if~
Working my way towards the answer myself....and here's the part II-dream I put on paper before me~


Back to my original post, my intent from the start of this search and query.

I'm risking.
I'm tossing my dreams out there.
Not to get responses. Not to hear the naysayers-neither the
encouragers.

I'm dreaming in pen and ink so I can see it
so I can live it
And so I can be it.

I'm tossing my dreams out there.
out here.

'Do the hard work to find a superior answer'

Dream part two
Monastic
introspective
introverted (look up the true definition before you judge)
contemplative
lifestyle-
or something as yet
intangible,
and similar~
that lives in this
sensibility
realm.

That's all I know.

Dream bigger than myself,
unattainable in who I am alone,
unclear on how it fits into where I am
what I do
who I support
and where I look to be going.


But that's it; dream part ii:
to explore and pursue.

I've heard tell it can fit into
a 'real life'.
I've never had a real life
so I look forward to seeing how it
fits into my life....
truth be told,
it's already lurking
around the edges....

If Doris Day can do it.
in love. trish

What's it really mean to dream? II

This is one in a series of posts in which Trish attempts to dissect the purpose and meaning of dreaming; of looking beyond what is to what if~
Working my way towards the answer myself....and here's the first dream I put on paper before me~


Back to my original post, my intent from the start of this search and query.

I'm risking.
I'm tossing my dreams out there.
Not to get responses. Not to hear the naysayers-neither the
encouragers.

I'm dreaming in pen and ink so I can see it
so I can live it
And so I can be it.

I'm tossing my dreams out there.
out here.

'My first dream that's bigger than myself, feels presumptuous to write down, and it totally crazy-unfit for who I've ever been~'

'We should each be mentored, and mentoring. It is through connection and sharing of our mistakes, successes, triumphs and tragedies that we help the next move into their own place'

my first of three dreams:
bigger than I am
more than I can picture
Trish from past
embracing in Trish of future.
but still
a dream.
so there.
If it is bigger than me,
than my past can confess to
or my present support
then it is a dream.
and dreams are possible
in my world
because they come from
a place bigger than me!

my first 'put it out there dream'...


to be mentoring
(12 people)
within two years.

I don't know how.
I don't know what capacity.
I don't know who.
But I want to do this.
To see my passion,
my inspiration,
inspire others.

I have lived almost
46 years.
All these years can't be
marked,
filed,
stored up,
reviewed,
cataloged
for
nothing~

There.
The first of my big dreams.
my first 'write it in black and white dream'
there.
Now that wasn't so hard was it?.....

in love.trish

What's it really mean to dream, too?

This is one in a series of posts in which Trish attempts to dissect the purpose and meaning of dreaming; of looking beyond what is to what if~
 Working my way towards the answer myself....

Why do I need to leave when all I need is around me?

Just like a dog~ lapping up life post

It plays around the corners of my mind lately; 
relentlessly pursuing my consciousness; 
determinately seeking to be answered.

It is the monkey-brain, the devil-player, the negative-nilly.
I do not listen, as much as hear and respond~

Why do I need to leave when all I need is around me?! 

It taunts like a broken record, 
replaying when I am tired, 
when I am discouraged, 
when I am weak from loneliness or travel demands.

 
Why do I need to leave 
              when all I need is around me?!
I turn it on its tail to run~
Because all that is around me will come with me. 
Will be with me. Will grow with me.

I am not leaving all that I need; I am growing all that I have.
in love. trish.   

monday musings #6

What would you plan to do if you knew God would resource you?

in love. trish

fun fact friday #4

When you believe a lie, you empower the liar. Stop it.
Know who you are and believe from this place.

in love. trish

fun fact friday #3

Negativity is not expelled by thinking about it. Negativity is expelled by concentrating on its opposite. It is dealt with as a consequence~

in love. trish.

friday fun facts

Stress is always an inside job. You are in control.
Happy weekend everyone~

 in love. trish

just like a dog

this morning I walked before the sunrise.
I used to do this a lot, beginning just as the birds began to chirp.
But as of late I"ve been more inclined to lace up the sneakers just after sunrise.

The fog sat over fields.
The light was just a touch of paint in the sky.
And each breath I felt myself lifting higher.

Anne Lamott  in her book Traveling Mercies speaks of a neighbor diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor who is often seen driving slowly down the street with his window down, leaning out just enough to feel the air; with a delighted smile emblazoned on his face; enamored with the sheer delight of living.


I get that.
I got that. This morning.
I want to hang my head out the car window and feel the bright air lap at my dangling tongue.
The full dose of blessed, awe-inspiring living.

Just like a dog.
I love this living~
in love. trish

Orlando magic :)

I wrote this letter in an email to just one; then realized God deserved a bigger expression of the grace he washed over me in these turn of events.

So, I copy and paste here for whomever finds their way to it: Putting my light in the window so to speak! :) God is this good.

in love. trish.

I'm learning just how beautifully, and blessedly, God is in the little things.

I have believed that God only shows up in the big things; cancer cured, pregnancies realized, funds funded, sins forgiven.
I had this notion that in the little, day to day events, I was on my own. That I had to figure out which venue to seek out, how to package and promote the kits, who to ask to teach at my retreat, how to go about encouraging my boys to faith in Christ.
Yet I am coming to see He doesn't expect this solitary, independent striving of me any more than He expects to me take up a scalpel and perform heart surgery (this is, need I say, not in my bag of talents :)

In the past few months I've heard sermons and read devotionals and begun to pray to God for my every need, my every presence, my every moment. I am learning that to believe this way is not to burden God, but rather to bless him. It is in needing him that faith is expressed; and this is what God asks of me-to be utterly and relentlessly faithful, nothing more.
The bottom line reality of this is, God himself is establishing me in him; not the reverse~What a relief and an incredibly profound blessing...

So I have to tell you my story: there's more to it-the 'before I even left' decisions that play into this whole picture as well-but for the sake of wearying your eyes reading :), I'll start with the actual trip that began last Thursday-

I left Seattle in the midst of the snow storm-ending up being just one of two flights to get out after my initial flight was cancelled. I flew through Chicago instead of Denver and the connecting flight waited for me (and four others) for almost a 1/2 hour so we could get on. Then, arriving in Orlando 6 hours later than originally planned, I was told the Enterprise counter would be closed, but to go to Alamo to get my rental. As my weary legs carried me through the rental car que, sans my supply cases that managed to stay behind in Seattle (yes, this too was a grace of God because he knew I would be too weary to drag them through the airport, so why not have SW airlines deliver them to my hotel room the next day- just in time for my Saturday workshop to begin?!), I saw a lone body behind the Enterprise counter and asked, 'are you really here?!' (yes, I was a bit delusional at this point :) after a giggle, she helped me through my rental, knocking $140 off the cost of my measly economy rental just because she could (and because I cringed at the $370 price tag she quoted).
Out at the booth to get my car, the employees were joking and looking forward to going home; I quipped 'let's get this chick her car and get out of here already!' they laughed, then proceeded to give me the car of my choice..for my economy price. Being told the BMW was finicky to drive :), I opted for the Infinity and am now driving a luxury sedan in Orlando for 11 days!
( I am still having trouble embracing this gift; silly me!)
Then! my Orlando workshop was at 5 when I flew; I arrived to find it up to 7-my Mt Dora was at a measly 7, and has now climbed to 15 with three more emails contacting me with interest.

Why, you ask, do I outline the events this way? Why do I feel so strongly that I need to share this with some bodies?!

I prayed; no, it seems too 'proper' to state it that way: I talked to God as I awaited the verdict of my delayed, then cancelled flight that morning. 
I walked with God. 
I simply said 'help me God' (over and over and over between the mixed thoughts and emotions rolling in my brain) and walked and listened. 
I spent the better part of my entire time at Seatac (arrived at 4:45am, departed at 2:30) walking and praying that simplest of prayers; 'Help me God.' There was no other way.
Alas, there is never any other way....

And, at the risk of not giving all these 'little things' proper credence, I know they all came to be because of the fact that I set my heart and mind to DO IT!-I'd been vacillating between getting myself back home and cancelling entirely as I was milling among the throngs of complaintive and concerned fellow travelers that swarmed the ticket counters-after all I had 'barely enough' students to make it worth (my) while, and it was a terrible time to risk travel....
Something came over me though; a sudden assurance and sense of determination; I would do it, even if I had to sleep in the airport overnight. 
I was committed and I would be steadfast. It is in this determination that I trusted unwaveringly in God's hand in it and his promise of everything working for good. I truly felt that even if I were to go down in an ice covered airplane, God's great good would be working; not the worldly assessment that it was pure, foolish folly to choose to fly in a storm.
 
If something can truly turn on a dime, this is the dime; that certain, consuming sense of determination. I have felt it just a few times over the past few years, but the more I do, the more confident I become and the more faith I embrace. 
And, the more closely and assuredly I walk with God in each and every decision, moment and move.
He comes through.
Always.
In spades :)
So gloriously worthwhile and blessed; in just this-the small things. It's that good :)
And oh! It's 80 degrees and sunny~
with a bursting heart,
trish
'Do you live expectantly? Do the little things excite you? Do you imagine the improbable and expect the impossible? Life is full and running over with opportunities to see God's hand in little things. Only the most sensitive of His servants see them, smile, and live on tiptoe. Chuck Swindoll

wow...

getting quiet   'come here to me'

Do you go so very long without blogging?! I am wondering where my voice went. Did I leave it there in Chicago, or perhaps Oregon or Michigan?! Have I somehow forgotten to care for it and now it's lingering, moldy and dust-covered in the back of my pajama drawer?!
sigh....
oh how I want to be here!
Oh how I want to find my voice again!
Oh how I want to share and get my heart back on the page instead of crammed up inside of me, swelling more daily with the desire, but not the voice~
sigh....
Perhaps it's just as the world says; just do it!
Do I need to just put my nose to the grindstone and crank out some thought?!
No; when has that ever worked and not become a regret; an oops I wish I hadn't?!
Nope.
Holding my tongue; or fingertips as the case may be here.
I will talk again.
Pull out that crumpled voice from underneath the pink polka-dot jammies
       or discover it returned to sender from the Oregon, or Michigan travels....
But not yet.
And that's okay.
God's working something in me. And God will work it out of me :)
in love. trish xxoo