Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts
Thursday, March 14, 2013
5 Minute Meditation to Get You Ready for Working and Creating with Joy and Ease
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Self-Love or How to Tame the Big Mean Hate Monster in your head
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| Field Sketch of Hate Monster discovered in the Wilds of the Psyche |
Through vigilant observation of my internal world this past week, I have been reminded that this drastic mood shift does not come out of nowhere. It can be directly traced to a series of self-negating beliefs that my favorite little Hate Monster likes to use as fodder for very predictable internal diatribes. The Hate Monster can pop up when you are over-tired, over-worked, hungry, or sick. So if you notice he is getting really loud in your thought stream and shouting over everything else, first check to make sure you have your basics covered. Have you slept enough? If not, take a nap or go to bed early. Are you starving yourself? Eat something healthy and nourishing. Have you been living an all-work-and-no-play existence? Time to play.
Many adults refer to the Hate Monster as the Inner Critic but I think that makes him sound too intellectual and apt to write a thoughtful review of me in the some literary journal. When in reality, he seems more like an cranky or hurt child who is not having his needs met in some way and is acting out. It honestly can be as simple as resting and slowing down but sometimes, of course, it is not.
The Hate Monster can also be fueled by long-standing painful and often un-true beliefs that resurface again and again throughout your life. The one that came up for me this week is the belief that I am too different to be embraced by the society that I live in... that there is something essential in me that will always be foreign... that alienation is a pre-condition of my life. This is how it showed up for me. I started taking a class this week in pattern and surface design where it is essential to find and express your own aesthetic style. At first, I was having so much fun drawing and exploring my imagination and seeing the world around me in a new way. I have my own style of drawing that comes natural to me and I was relishing the freedom of pure self-expression. Then, the Hate Monster pulled out the good ole, oh-so-familiar, alienation manifesto and began with the cutting words, "You have your own style but no one will be able to relate to it. If you put that out in the world, you will not be successful because what you have to offer does not resonate with people. You aren't like everyone else so you should probably hide out and do the safe thing and present a style you know people already like and accept." While I don't intend to follow this "sage" advice, it did thoroughly take the joy out of my creative process for the day. It doesn't take a self-inquiry microscope to see the obvious thread of self-criticism and self-negation in these thoughts.
So what to do if you have wandered down this crooked path deep into the forest of self-hate? As always, there is the temptation to simply add a meta-level to the Hate Monster a.k.a "How could I let myself get so out of control on this negative downward spiral? After all the meditation and yoga I have done, shouldn't I better at this? Why can't I maintain a positive outlook? What is wrong with me?" So keep an eye out for this sneaky addition to the Hate Monster's powers.
At this point, it is important to remember the Hate Monster's resemblance to a hurt child. This part of ourselves doesn't need further reprimands or a series of should's and should not's. It needs a warm and all-encompassing loving embrace. We need the healing balm of self-acceptance and unconditional love.
"Easier said than done," you might be thinking. However, this nourishing feeling is something that can be cultivated even from the bottom of a Terrifying Low. Think about the love you may have felt for animal or a small child or another human being that doesn't diminish when they make a mistake or feel sad or get grumpy. In those moments, you feel compassion for their struggles and love for their simple humanity or kittiness or puppiness including all of their weaknesses and strengths. I found a simple visualization/mediation that can help us begin to access this all-encompassing love and shine it on our own being. Here it is:
The Warm Embrace of Self: A Self-love Meditation
1. Take few deep breaths, tuning in to your body and the movement of the breath.
2. Visualize the part of you that has become the Hate Monster as a child or even as a puppy or kitten. Observe the self-negating thoughts that part of you is holding. Without judgement, just witness the pain that this part of you is experiencing.
3. Inhale, repeating silently or quietly, "I embrace every part of my being." Visualizing welcoming that hurt inner child into a warm loving hug.
4. Exhale, "I let go of self-judgement." Feel the harsh critical thoughts leaving your body with the breath, being carried away on the breeze.
5. Inhale, "I embrace myself with love." Feel a warm wash of golden light filling every dark corner of your psyche.
5. Exhale, "I let go of Self-criticism."
7. Repeat steps 3-5 until a feeling of compassion and love for yourself begins to emerge in your heart. Don't worry if you are just going through the motions at first. Stick with it and keep inviting in this feeling of compassion. Oddly, it is often easier to feel compassion for others than it is for our selves. So, by giving a visual form to this hurt part of ourselves, we can often access that unconditional love for ourselves a little easier.
If you are interested in exploring this topic in more depth, I would suggest this really amazing little book called: There is Nothing Wrong with You by Cheri Huber
It is written in a light-hearted tone but expresses some deep truths. One of my favorite parts of the book is when Huber reminds us that we are not "fix-it projects." When one of our common internal struggles and habits come up for the zillionth time, it is so easy to think, "Man, I really need to work on myself." Well, this book reminds us that we don't need to fix ourselves. We need to embrace ourselves in our beautiful, complex, dizzying-highs-terrifying-lows entirety.
Please feel free to share your experiences with the Hate Monster or ask any questions you may have in the comments.
Love to all... even those shadowy, dark bits that have sharp teeth and biting words. They soften with every embrace.
Nicole
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Reset Sunday: Wet Earth, Lemons, and your Sense of Smell
Smell is very direct and often psychologically powerful. At the end of you nasal passage, behind the nose is a cluster of neurons about the size of a postage stamp that's exposed to the air. These neurons are covered with cilia, hair-like structures that increase surface area. Molecules from everything that you can smell float into your nose, bind to the cilia, and send a message through the neuron. This is how you smell that fresh baked bread, that spring of wild rosemary, and everything else.
This week, for Reset Sunday, I propose we tune in to our sense of smell and experiment with its affects on our mood and mind-set.
5 Ways to Use the Sense of Smell for Self-discovery and Healing
- Tune-in. Take some deep breaths through out the day and notice what you are smelling and how you are feeling. See if tuning into the smell changes you how you feel. Maybe it simply pulls you out of your head and into the moment. When you walk to your car in the morning, smell the air. It will put you in direct contact with your surroundings.
- Smell your food before you take a bite. Enjoying the aroma of our food can help slow us down before we start eating. It can initiate a mindful attitude and tune us in to the quality of our food. Notice the feeling, memories, or sensations associated with each smell. This process will enrich your meal and it can provide insight into your food choices.
- Rose Water. If you have never had a mister of rose water on hand, I suggest you pick one up and enjoy it's magical powers. :) If you wake up feeling groggy, grumpy or anxious misting yourself with rose water can instantly transport you to a lovely garden where fairies frolic and elves dance. Even if it doesn't swoop you into fantasia, rose water helps break up a negative thoughts and reminds you of the good simple things in life. Use it when you are feeling angry, sad, bored, scared, or just plain blah. You can find rose water at health food stores or online. The rose water I have on my bedside table is Heritage Products Rosewater. I love it and spray it daily.
- Burning sage and/or palo santo. Both of these you light with a match and then blow out the flame, letting it smoke. You can carry it around your home, smudging your rooms with the smoke. Traditionally, the smoke is said to clear darkened or stagnant energies. I personally find that smudging with palo santo and sage combines a meditative ritual with a wonderful earthy smell that is calming and grounding.
- Experiment with essential oils. You can find essential oils at natural food stores or online. I like the Young Living Essences a lot and many of the Aura Cacia essences as well. I like to carry Lavender essential oil in my purse when I go into the office. Whenever I feel stressed or disconnected, I pull it out and take a moment to smell it. Somehow, it helps me relax and keep my projects and deadlines in perspective. Offices can be devoid of nourishing scents. These sumptuous aromas can reinvigorate and bring a smile to your face even in the dreary land of plastic, metal and fluorescent lights.
I suggest you choose your essential oils by actually smelling them and seeing which ones have the most noticeable effect on you. Usually, there are testers in stores. If you are still not sure which ones to get or need to buy them online, you can also use this aromatherapy chart to help you decide.
My current favorites from the Young Living line are: Lavender, Peace and Calming, Theives, Lemon and Peppermint. The essential oil my boyfriend can not live with out is Wyndmere Joyful Spirit. Another favorite from my best friend's essential oil collection is Aura Cacia Pep Talk which is the amazingly sunshiny combination of orange and peppermint.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Reset Sunday: Smile!
If you find that feelings of judgement or separation are creating resistance to this challenge, I encourage you to try doing a loving-kindness meditation to help foster deep feelings of compassion. Here is the meditation. Each line you say in your mind as you complete one full breath, inhale and exhale.
May you be well.
May you be healthy and strong.
May you be happy and safe.
May you be free from suffering and have insight into the cause of your suffering.
May you be filled with compassion.
Start by focusing this mediation on someone you love. Next, focus on yourself. Next, chose someone you are indifferent to. Then choose someone who you have difficulties with (this can be someone you know personally or a public figure). Finally, focus on all beings.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Reset Sunday: Driving Meditation or How to be a Driving Ninja
So many of us, especially my fellow Angelenos out there, spend too much time in our cars. The result: we often experience impatience, annoyance, hatred, boredom, frustration, sleepiness, and general dysphoria while driving. Aside from changing our lifestyles to drive less which is not always easy or practical, here is a mindful practice that can change the way we experience being stuck in traffic and commuting. And for those of you, who want to have a meditation practice but don't have think you have the time, here is a place to start.
When we think of mediation, the first thing that come to mind for many people is a monk or yogi sitting crossed legged with eyes closed, clearing their mind of all thoughts. Obviously, this is not what we are going to be attempting while driving. Instead, our eyes will be fully open and alert. We will be sitting in our seat relaxed and responsive. And, most importantly, we will be observing the thoughts, emotions and body sensations that arise without judgement. The intention of this practice is not an empty mind, although that may occur. Rather, it is the Undistracted Awareness of everything you are experiencing in the present moment.
Undistracted Awareness while driving is an obvious upgrade from our usual autopilot, spaced-out, multi-tasking mode of driving. You will be relaxed yet ready to respond to any situation whether it be getting stuck behind a slow truck on a narrow mountain road or getting cut off by a impatient SUV on the freeway. You will become a driving ninja. Here's how:
- Begin by deepening your breathe. Let the inhale fill your entire body. Let the exhales empty completely. Feel your sitting bones and tail bone sink down into the seat. Feel the inhale rising up through the spine, lengthening the body. The heart space opens. The shoulders relax back and down and the crown the head reaches upward.
- Your body is soft and responsive to the movement of the breath. The breath is waking up every cell. Your whole being is waking up. You feel your hands guiding the steering wheel. You feel the pressure of your foot on the pedal. You feel the vibration of the car and the texture of the road.
- Your eyes are alert, taking in all the other cars around you, the curve of the road, the lights, the buildings or trees surrounding you. Glancing in your mirrors, you establish a clear awareness of everything that is happening around you.
- Now, let your ears perk up. You can hear the motor of your car, the shifting of gears, the wind going by. Maybe you hear a car coming up behind you or passing you. Allow your ears to be awake to all sounds.
- As thoughts and feelings arise, simply observe them without a judgement. There's a thought about dinner. There's a thought about work tomorrow. There's a feeling of frustration at a slow driver. Notice how these thoughts and emotions are echoing through the body. Are the shoulders tensing or the jaw gripping? Does the chest feel constricted? Simply notice these sensations and then, consciously relax the body, bringing the awareness back to all the sensations driving. Take a deep breath. What do you see right now? What do you hear? What can you feel? Pay attention to the moment right now. Wake up and slide into complete awareness.
- Remember that you are not alone right now. Every car contains a human being, an entire life, an entire consciousness. Even if you are on an empty road remember there are animals hidden in the brush, grasses or trees. There may be people walking along the road or crossing the street. This is a perfect opportunity to practice compassion and a deep respect for life. Let this feeling of compassion guide the choices you make while driving. How can I show compassion right now? Maybe, it is by slowing down in a residential area, or letting a car merge in front of you or by forgiving the person who cut you off, forgiving their impatience because maybe you have had similar feelings or made mistakes of your own before. Honor your life and the lives of all those that you are sharing the road with right now.
- Your thoughts may wander. Your attention may become distracted. It's ok. Just keep returning to the present moment. Return to your breath. Return to your experience of being on the road right now, right here.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Reset Sunday: Deep Sight
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| the curious passion flower in my yard |
For much of the time, we walk through life and only see the idea of the things around us. When I open my bedroom door, I don't SEE where the paint has chipped slightly along the edge or the little residue of fingerprints or the slight variations in cream color. Mostly, I briefly and almost unnoticeably THINK door and continue on my way. Of course, if we truly saw everything thing around us all the time we would probably take an hour just to transverse the vast territory between the bedroom and the kitchen. So the mind's ability to simplify, categorize and name is definitely appreciated but probably takes the driver's seat more often than is necessary. This Reset Sunday is all about awakening the sense of sight and seeing how it activates both your sense of full present awareness and your imagination.
First, find a plant. It can be as simple as a blade of grass or as complex as a passion flower or as grand as an eucalyptus tree. It can be a potted plant or bouquet of flowers in your house or something you discover in a park or yard. If you want to make day of it and you live somewhere warm, check out a botanical garden. I think I might go to one of my favorite places in Los Angeles, Huntington Gardens. If you feel comfortable drawing or even if you feel uncomfortable but adventurous, I suggest you bring a pen or pencil and draw the plant as you are practicing seeing it. The process of drawing can really engage and awaken our sense of sight. Don't worry about the drawing being good or right. The process is the practice and you can always recycle the drawing afterward.
Sit before the plant and let your body and your face relax and soften. Deepen the breath and settle in. Allow your eyes to go on a little adventure. Start following the lines of the stem, the leaves, the petals, the buds. This is a slow journey for the eyes. Let the small space expand into an entire universe. When you have covered every nook and cranny, start again and see what miniature miracles you missed the first time. If you are drawing, follow the the edges of the plant with you pen on the paper. Record every subtle shift in curvature and shape. Below is a brief guidebook for this journey that points out some attractions to be alert to on your visual journey.
- Texture: You don't have to touch something to get a feeling for texture. Your eyes can feel it as well. Does it appear soft, prickly, smooth, velvety, mooshy, powdery, pointy, slimey, cool, hard, feathery, or something that may not have a word but only a feeling? Explore the textures as they change with your eyes and record them with your pen.
- Color: Observe the subtle shifts in color. You can name them if it helps (oh, that green is edging on blue here and yellow at the tip of the leaves) but you can also just enjoy the sensual experience of the plant's color palette unfolding before you.
- Light and shadow: Where is the plant obscured in darkness and where is the light so bright it might be dissolving the edges of the leaves or petals? Where is light creating transluscene and where is the absence of it creating a deep opaqueness?
- Weight: Do the leaves appear light and airy or ponderous? Is the weight of a giant bloom bending the branch? Where is the plant reaching upward defying gravity and where is it bowing and tilting towards the earth?
- Negative Space: Notice the strange organic shapes that are created between the leaves, branches, and stems - unique puzzle piece of sky or wall or whatever fills the background. Some shapes may be surprisingly angular and geometric while others will be curved and meandering.
- Shapes: Observe the shapes that the plant itself makes. Maybe the leaves are extended ovals or hearts, or long uneven triangles. Maybe the branches are making T's or Y's. Many shapes will seem unnameable but that will only make seeing them more of an adventure.
The first part of this practice, the seeing, is the meditation. The second part is the arena of imagination and self-expression. Have fun with this and notice how activating your deep sight may change how you see everything else as well.
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