The Keeper of Mamma's Flowers

I had the nicest compliment the other day from my nephew, Toni.  He said, The farm is beginning to look like Grandma and Grandpa are here.

As it must happen to all of us, our parents die.  That was a hard thing for me to accept because although I was getting older in my mind and heart Mom and Dad would always be what they had always been, loving, supportive, helpful and well, just there.  It didn't happen that way.

My sisters and I rallied and supported them, not financially but emotionally and lovingly.  As their needs increased we helped with everything from personal bookkeeping to personal care.  We as a family traveled through a heart condition, a stroke and Alzheimer's.   Both my parents would vocalize their sadness that they needed help and they shouldn't be such a burden.   I simply answered,  You cared for me for eighteen years this is nothing.  Oh, but it was.

I know many of you have lost loved ones and cried because you could not do more to ease the way.  I guess it's under the title of Shit Happens or Simply Life.  You do what you can.

My parents are gone.

We live where they began.  Honoring the land, honoring their wishes.  Never was much of a gardener, not my passion.  I was always a more hands on animal person but I've changed as we all did.  We do what's needed to return the farm to Mom and Dad's time.

My sisters and I are here with family and we are the elder ones.  Through tornadoes, ice storms, personal illnesses and family emergencies we still are here.

I look around  and agree with Toni, even though there are tons of things left to be repaired, upgraded, cultivated, it's beginning to look like Mom and Dad are still here.

There is a peace here that I find no other place.  We try to follow in our parents' foot steps but find it difficult for us.

I feel the joy they felt and see the treasure they saw in this beautiful valley. I know they are watching over us and proud of what we've accomplished by doing it their way.

I smile.  I know Mamma is pleased that I am still tending her flowers.

Tonight I Mourned

I have been unable to do that fully for years.

Mother died in '99 and her burial arrangements were for Dad.  What he wanted, what he needed to feel like he had given her the best.  Dad was in mid Alzheimer's and some days he would forget Mom had died. Then he would remember and oh, how he would grieve all over again as if it had recently happened. We were relieved when he forgot Mom and he settled into a time of service to his country, before Mom and before us.

Mom knew he had Alzheimer's but would not tell because you don't "air your dirty laundry".  You take care of your own.  Before she passed she asked me to "take care of every thing" but mostly she meant Dad. That was all she would say giving us no hint of how different Dad was.

And so we did.  My two sisters and I gave Dad the best care we could give.  Keeping him in his and Mom's home until we couldn't.

When Dad died we knew what he wanted and that was the service we gave.  His friend read Dad's favorite Psalm, the Twenty-Third. His neighbors, mother and daughter, sang his favorite song, Amazing Grace. I gave the Eulogy at a graveside service written by his oldest grandson, Toni, and me. Dad would have liked it.  He was buried with military honors with a twenty-one gun salute.  The flag was presented to my oldest sister.  She turned and presented it to his oldest grandson.  It was as it should be.

I watched a show with a Marine Honors Burial.  When they removed the flag from the casket I broke. I bawled like I lost them tonight.  My heart had broken open and the tears flowed like a river in full flood. I could not stop.  I was alone.  Even if I wasn't I don't think I could put into words why I broke down during a television show.  It was time.

Mother did not know the gargantuan task I laid on myself with her simple words "Take care of  every thing".  Those few words left me no time nor room to mourn because I had to DO what was asked.  I judged myself harshly.  I would look around and say aloud, "Mom and Dad would not like this".  I was appalled that I could not perform to what I perceived as Mom and Dad's expectations.

I was measuring my accomplishments with a stick so big no one could have met my high standards.  I realized tonight Mom and Dad would not have wanted me to judge myself so harshly.  They wanted us to love the land and treat it kindly and in doing that to follow our dream, not theirs.

When my eyes were dry, I wrote and released myself from the super standards I had given.  I love this land.  We all do...and that was what Mom and Dad wanted.

Mom died in '99 and Dad joined her in '06.  I have finally mourned.  I think they would be proud of what we've done with their dream.

It's Not Every Day You Turn Sixty...

Just November 19th for me.  Yep, the big six o.  Hubby woke up and said, If you go to Walmart with me, I'll buy you lunch for your birthday.  How can I turn down a romantic invitation like that?

It's early so Walmart should be okay.  We head to the Walmart in Mountain Home. There are two or three closer but none of those towns have Salvation Army.  That was my first birthday stop.  I bought a wallet and a beautiful three tier basket for fruit and didn't even burn a ten-spot.

Next stop Walmart.  Wasn't so lucky there but hubby's paying so I bought two new skillets and a cutting board.  I don't get out much.

Visited with my nephew, Jason, and saw an old friend I haven't seen in years. My guess is if you stay at Walmart long enough you might see every one you know.

Bonnie needs a new collar, I hear.  Okay, what kind?  A big one.  Okay.  I search through the collars and find the x-large.  I hear, Bonnie likes blue.  Okay, how do you know Bonnie likes blue?  I just do. She won't wear another color.  She likes blue.  Okay, so my newly turned-sixty body is squatted digging through all the blooming collars looking for a blue one.  I'm not balanced very well.  Hubby has the cart to lean on so he's steady to give directions.  I, on the other hand, am having trouble finding a BIG BLUE collar and breathing and keeping my balance.  Each one I show him has to be adjusted to Bonnie's size so he knows it will fit.  Decision made.  Blue collar in the cart.

This was the next part of  my present...another job.

Hubby says he is replacing outlets

but I know who'll be doing it.

And you thought Mel's Diner was just on tv!

Had a great birthday lunch with Hubby and nephew, Toni.

I can't go to Mountain Home without checking out the gun shops, that's right, I dream of gun shops. I wait in the truck while Hubby finds some shells "we need". Notice the big rock out front?

You know I had to get a closer look!

My best birthday surprise is when he turns toward the town of Norfork, Arkansas and The Terrapin Trading Company!!!  Hubby asked if I had my rocks with me.  Yes.  He parks here and walks to the gun shop next door while I'm allowed to go wild. 

The owner knows my name!!!  The dog doesn't bark, she knows me.  Maybe Hubby should not have "allowed" me free rein in here, my favorite store.  I pulled out my little sack of carefully chosen stones and we talk design.  That's right.  The owners make silver jewelry.  I gave him some of my extra stones and he gave me a "pocket rock" of labradorite.  

I've already received the call.  My pieces are ready!

Not a bad birthday for a gray haired over weight sixty year old lady that doesn't bend as well as I used to...now I must get to these outlets. They won't install themselves.

We Walked...

through history.  We crawled in dirt.  We laughed, explored and came home again.

This trip was just me and my nephew, Toni.  No one has a bad time with Toni.  From Iraq to Alaska and an experienced traveler to most states Toni makes traveling an adventure. We always try something new, in meals and in places we see because life should be an adventure.

This is a replica of the old shaft shack.  It went down sixty feet deep here.  I don't believe the mining operations was extremely successful or they would still be operating.  I would say by the number of people there they have no trouble maintaining this as a state park.

Toni in the distance

They had a few "shade islands" no digging allowed here.  This island featured a Osage Orange tree.

We both got down and dirty.  I packed hand tools and empty jars to hold all our diamonds.  They left full but not with diamonds.  We had MREs, Vienna Sausage and Oreo cookies with drinks packed so we were prepared and made a day of it.

We examined the old mining equipment.

Nine diamonds were found while we were there.  It was not our day for diamonds.  When the rains come, we may return.  It's just four and a half hours away.  Toni is young and as long as he's driving I will welcome the adventure.

Sometimes I Go Out

in the real world but not often.  This day we had errands to run.  We needed hydraulic fluid for the tractor (liquid gold) filters and oil for the tractor and the gator too.

Hubby has to keep his toys running well

and sparkly clean.

He dislikes pictures and tried to run me off with the water hose.

It didn't work.

Nephew Toni, Hubby and I decided it was a good day to visit Fred's Fish House.  We had enough for another meal.

I had frog legs and fish.

Saved the frog bones.

Toni said his mom and I were only people he knew

 that saved bones from their food.

I've some wonderfully creative ideas for my frog legs.

Fishing Rocky Bayou

Our favorite place to go when the girls were young was Rocky Bayou that joins White River on the Stone county side.  If you were to back track this creek it would pass in front of kinfolks' houses from the ancient past.  We would wade through the section where I learned to "grabble" fish, where I caught crawdads for bait.  Blue Hole, where we swam and even where Hubby's kinfolk lived (and oh, the stories I have!)  Mother used to warn me and my daughters to be careful who we dated, they might be kin to us.

Back on track to the adventure of the week...Rocky Bayou is a gravel creek  When the river is up you can motor in easily. Other times there is a small channel of only a few inches depth that you must fly over...Hubby can do that.

The waves ripple from our landing.

 This is a honey hole for bass.

The fishing begins while I take pictures

 thinking I am in heaven.

The bass are biting!

These wonderful rock ledges shelter many fish

but not from Toni and Hubby.

Yep, that's my Dr Pepper.

Toni shed his shoes early.

I kept mine on but I was connected 

through the water and the rocks...paradise!

We jumped ship leaving Hubby behind catching fish.

Toni and Andrew headed to the place they used to swim.

Low but still beautiful.

Hanging ferns grew on limestone cliffs.

See all the rocks?

I found just a few to bring home.

Every one needs a day like this now and then.

The fish were released

and we motored toward home.

Before...

our collective family had cattle, horses, cancer, Alzheimer's, and heart trouble we did much river playing. Today we went again to some old favorite spots.  We caught a few fish but released them.  It was beautiful.

The boat that has set unused met White River today in Guion Arkansas, still a sand mining town and the place where Hubby grew up. 

The bridge that connects Izard County with Stone County was not here when we were residents.  If you wanted to cross the river you had to drive onto a state owned and operated ferry.  If the river was too high or too low you didn't cross. The citizens liked the isolation but things always change.

The boat unloaded was tested by Hubby while we readied things to be loaded.  The sun was warm but it was late afternoon so the weather was not as intense as it has been.

We flew up the river in the inboard motor boat that Hubby had considered selling.  Glad he didn't but it is difficult to take pictures when the speed does not allow you to open your eyes.

I risked a picture over my shoulder as we flew up the river.  Toni's hair will show you the speed along with the wake we left behind us.

Even the backwards shots showed the idea conditions for water reflections on the river.  

We fished on a creek off the river until sundown brought the fog with it.  It was time to head to the ramp.

Sundown, fog and speed...another shot over my shoulder told me I should have my life jacket on.

We beat the fog and the dark to the loading ramp.

A Blue Heron patiently waited for dinner in the river weeds. 

As we landed a gentleman greeted us seeking help. He had started to launch his boat and had some engine trouble.  He removed the cover, found an active wasp nest and in his hurry to retreat he had lost his motor cap in the water. Hubby motored over.  The men shined lights in the water as Andrew dived under to retrieve the man's motor cover.  My heroes.

Loaded, tired, happy with darkness and fog dropping their curtains we headed home.  On that ride we saw four large Buck White Tail Deer, one doe and a rattlesnake almost big enough to swallow a fawn. Pulling the boat, we could not go back to retrieve the snake...big monster.  He not only would have made a good hat band but I'm guessing maybe a belt too.

It was a good day and a good time to reacquaint ourselves with White River.

Hoecakes and Strawberry Shortcake...

It's been a busy week  Working all week.  There's that retirement thing I NEED to talk about again!

Toni, my nephew, has been staying with us.  The slave labor we have provided has been returned in kind by Toni and Andrew cooking dinner each night.

We've had poke salad and fresh garden salad.  We've had pork ribs, pork pasta and pulled barbecued pork.  We had pasta with cheese and corn, baked potatoes, zucchini, hoecakes and fresh strawberries with cake.  Not all at one meal and not in this combination but through out this week after we labored and moved Toni's storage items to the shop.

Toni taught me a  few tricks about cooking he has picked up in his world travels and I taught Andrew and Toni some old cooking tricks handed down for generations.

Andrew thought I was talking dirty when I asked if they wanted Hoecakes with their greens.  I showed the guys how to make them.  THEN I googled the name.  By golly, I had it right.  I made them the same way Paula Deen did.  The recipe wasn't written down but stored in my head as it has been for generations.

Toni shared how they cooked pork ribs quickly in Guam and I demonstrated how to make glaze for a cake. Andrew made the cake, I made the glaze, Toni dressed and cut the berries while Cool Whip made the topping.  I think this looks better than Paula Deen's.

My two best kept secrets in the kitchen are spraying the cake pan with olive oil and using sugar instead of flour to coat the pan.  The cake still turns loose and you  have a little caramel on the bottom. The second secret was from Uncle Grover who cooked in the Army and afterwards cooked in a restaurant for years. Drop the pan. Repeatedly. That's the secret. Drop the pan to settle the big air bubbles from the cake. This allows the cake to rise evenly.

So after a long hot exhausting day a meal cooked together just makes you feel like you are home. Then there's game time after the table cleared.  I have forgotten I had a tv.

Oh, and eat your heart out, Paula Deen!

Another Dam Trip

I was planning on working in the shop but plans are made to be changed.  My nephew Jeremy and I took off for the big ride over the dam.

Pictures of favorite shop, the Dam Bait Shop, was taken on the fly as we hurried to meet Toni for another storage move.

Mattresses, curio cabinet, two rugs, a grandfather clock, a Seven up machine, and two wing back chairs were the first to load. We are running over but Boss Gail, the Elder, insisted there were still places for stuff. We went to another unit and stuffed bags and other things safely in every spot.  We had a LOAD!

I am using my gas so Toni and I did some bartering.  I got this huge honking Persian rug and a smaller one in exchange for my gas.  Toni still bought us lunch.

Arriving at the shop we unloaded except for my rugs of course!  They traveled to my house.

Now you would think an old lady like me would be tired and worn out.  I had to work with the rugs.  Move an old rug, gotta mop, shake the rug outside and bring it to its new spot.  Then I would see a spider web or something so I ended up washing the huge kitchen and dining room on my knees.

It certainly looked good, even if I say so myself.  The living room will have to wait.

The dining room rug is in place under the dining room table, the other matching (kinda) rugs were placed.  After shaking I also vacuumed them.

During all this I am washing dishes, doing laundry and trying to watch NCIS and two more shows.  Didn't happen.  I got pieces of shows that didn't fit but I have the kitchen done.

I've been going since six am and it is now midnight.  Time to stop!  I won't die if I don't get it all done in one night.

I have been infused with git up and go.  I don't know the reason but sure am glad that lazy slug departed and the real workaholic me is on the job again.

Tomorrow is another day.  Wonder what I get to cherry pick tomorrow?

For those of you who watch The Walking Dead I "claimed" a few things.

Good night or good morning...take your pick.

Chaos Rains

and chaos reigns.

We were the lucky ones.  Seven total inches of rain with hail and wind.  The garden was under water. Water gates moved down the creek along with a few flower pots from Marcy's yard but we were all safe. Erosion was our worst problem.  The waters receded almost as quickly as it rose.  We are on high ground.  If it had been daylight I would've been rubber booting.

Vilonia and Mayflower Arkansas were not so lucky.  Several states had tornadoes last night.  The season has begun.

Driving out this morning the water had receded along with our road

This was part of our road.

Ponds were over flowing.

There were ponds where no ponds had gone before.

Where was I going? you ask...

Toni helped haul two loads from his storage to go into the family shop to sell.  Soon, we hope, someone will love his old stuff and take it home with them...and then he can get more stuff!

Stopped at the traffic light on Norfork Dam Toni got out to check on me and my full pickup.  The load in the truck was riding very well.

We had followed a semi-truck out of Mountain Home.  He was driving so slow traffic was backed up for a ways.  We had just passed the Dam Bait Shop (I'm not swearing.  That is the name!  I would like to answer their phone, "This is the Dam Bait Shop.  What the hell do you want?").  We were headed up the Dam hill and I knew that truck could not pull it.  Slowing down it stopped completely.  I thought student driver but it was certainly someone who did not know what he/she was doing.  The truck stalled.  We have traffic backed up as far as I can see.  The truck's back up lights came on!!!  I look behind me.  Toni is right there. I can't back up and the truck keeps rolling backwards!

I look up the Dam hill (I enjoy saying that entirely too much) and there is no oncoming traffic.  I cut the wheels sharply and shot out into the opposite lane and flew around the truck.  The whole line followed me. As far as I know the truck may still be there.

We reached the shop safely and unloaded Toni's stuff.  We were good packers.  Every nook and cranny in both vehicles was packed to the gills.

Driving home I noticed the skies were clear and the neighbors cattle were celebrating with new green grass. I wonder what I will do tomorrow?