Secret Cupid 101 (Ideas to Surprise Your Valentine!)

I've written on this blog before about my family's tradition of doing "Secret Cupids" during the week before Valentines Day.  Basically, every day we leave each other a little surprise from "SC" (Secret Cupid, not Santa Claus!)  This has become a really fun thing for me to do for Ryan every year.  He usually does it back for me as well, although this isn't as much his type of "thing," and some days he forgets, which I've decided I am okay with.  In the early days of our marriage, I'm sure I pouted when he forgot to do Cupid for a few days, but now that I am much more mature (eh hem, realistic and possibly resigned?), I've realized that it makes me super happy to surprise him, and that is enough.

Once our kids are a little older, we will do Secret Cupids with them like my mom did with us (that's how the tradition started)--but even then, I think I will do a separate thing for Ryan.  It's just exciting to spoil him once in a while!  I'm not generally a cutesty wife (honestly, I can barely keep our kid clothed and fed and the house picked up on most days), but every now and then I love to put in a bit more effort to show Ryan just how much I love and appreciate him.

Because tomorrow is the first day of Secret Cupid Week, I spent some time today thinking of ideas and also looking online for ideas (googled stuff like "Valentines gifts," "surprises for spouse," etc), and I compiled a list.  I thought I would post it here so I can reference it in future years, and also so if any of you are wanting to start a tradition like this, you'll have a jumping off point.  Don't worry...I already made Ryan promise that he wouldn't read this blog post and spoil his surprises (and if you are reading this right now, Ryan Matthew Nielson, you better stop immediately, OR ELSE!!!!).  To anyone else reading this post, read on, and please let me know if you have any other ideas for Valentines surprises in the comments!!

Here's a list of ideas for surprising your spouse, in no particular order.  Some of these ideas are fairly pricey, so you may have to spread them out over the years, but some of these ideas are totally free, which is always a plus.  Also, I fully admit that these ideas are super corny...but hey, sometimes you have to embrace corny in the name of love!  So here goes:

-Send him a text every hour of the day while he is at work, telling him something that you love about him.

-Mail him a Valentine to his work or to your home (or just slip one in the mailbox so he will find it amongst the bills).

-Create a little Videogram with the kids (something like, "Why we love Daddy" and email it to him at work).  You could also just do this with a photo of you and the kids holding a sign.

-Print photos of you two together--possibly from your dating days--and put them all over the refrigerator.  I did this one year, and then the next day Ryan added little construction paper thought/speech bubbles that were hilarious and made my day.

-Sign him up for a class about something he's interested in (art, photography, cooking)--or better yet, take the class together.

-Think about something he's currently struggling with and do something about it.  Ryan is having some back pain right now due to his long hours leaning over the dental chair, so I researched the best heating pads and ordered him a good one.  I also made appointments for us to get massages on his day off next week.  (I figured he might not be willing to go into a spa without me, so I get to have a massage too.  Score!  Super excited about this!!)

-Order a custom painting of your family, your home, or another place that is special to you as a couple. Lots of artists on Etsy have beautiful, original work.  I am kind of obsessed with this seller's cute artwork, and I would love to someday order several of her paintings as a series to display in our home--each of the LDS temple in all of the places that Ryan and I have lived.  Wouldn't that be awesome?

-Leave loving notes for him all over the house--on the bathroom mirror in a dry erase marker or lipstick, on the milk carton in the refrigerator with a permanent marker, in his car on a big paper heart on the steering wheel...you get the picture.

-A similar idea: "Heart attack" his car or his office door by taping construction paper hearts all over with loving notes written on them.  (It would be fun to have the kids help with this.)

-Build snowmen that look like the two of you in the front yard.  Use your own accessories so he's sure to know who the snowmen are. (Hahaha, I am giggling just thinking about a snowman wearing Ryan's ski hat and a snowwoman wearing one of my scarves!)  The snow couple could even be holding hands or holding a sign with a loving message.  Awww!  This idea just came to me as I was writing this post, and I think I may have to do it this week.

-Make some sort of photo album for him.  Lots of online services like Shutterfly have deals this time of year, and these programs are easy and fast to use with a  really professional final product.

-Do an act of service for him.  Clean the whole house, or the garage, or the refrigerator.  Is there a particular chore that you know he's been wanting to get done but hasn't?  Do it for him.  Is there something that bugs him about the house that you can take care of?  Ryan is not a huge fan of the messy card table that I currently have in our bedroom--it is overflowing with papers to be filed and stuff that I need to get organized, and it really is an eye sore that gets in our way.  I decided that I am going to sort all of my papers and get the card table out of our room next week as one of his "Cupid" gifts.

 -Plan a weekend get-away somewhere fun.  You can actually take the get-away during Valentines Week, or just get it all planned and scheduled and give him a coupon/itinerary.

-Leave a message in the snow outside the bedroom window.  Ryan did this for me one year.  He stomped "SC Loves You" in big letters, and I saw it out the window first thing in the morning.  I thought it was adorable.

-Send him to do something fun with his buddies--basketball game tickets, skiing, whatever.

-Plan some sort of sexy surprise.  Last year, I bought myself a new silky nightgown (because, let's face it, the ones I got for my wedding are WAY too small now, and I had never gotten any since).  I left it on the bed before I went to a book club with a note that said, "I hope you will wait up for me." ;)  Let's just say, he did!  (TMI???  Sorry, Dad, if you're reading this!!)  You can also just do something as simple as hang white twinkle lights on the headboard of your bed or light a candle and put on music...something romantic and different that will surprise him.

-Make his favorite dinner.  You could even put out Valentines place settings to go along with it.

-Have his favorite breakfast treat ready for him first thing in the morning--a fresh batch of cinnamon rolls, a box of his favorite donuts, homemade muffins...whatever.  If you are really ambitious, you could get/make enough for him to take to work and feed his coworkers.

-Buy a new board game and invite some favorite friends over to play it with you guys.

-Surprise him at work for a lunch date.  Or if his work isn't the type of setting where a surprise is really possible, schedule it with him in advance.  (You could also be sneaky and let his secretary or boss in on the plan, so they will make him think he has a meeting, or a conference call, or a patient to see...then you will show up instead.)

-Give him a candygram with clever messages spelled out with candybars.  Ryan did this for me one year, and even included Pepto Bismuth as part of the love note...random! :)

And I did something similar for him with "study treats" on the year he was cramming for his Board exams.  I think I got the printables from Pinterest or something.  I certainly don't know how to make a cutesy printable myself.

-Plan a scavenger hunt around town, possibly featuring some of the memories from when you were dating or throughout your years of marriage.  This doesn't have to be super complicated.  I think I am going to do this for Ryan as our actual Valentines Day night date next week--and we will just look for Fun Dips and Jones Sodas at the grocery store (reminiscent of our first date), go ice skating (reminiscent of our second date), go get some kissing pics in a photo booth at the mall (reminiscent of later dates), and possibly go to dinner at a restaurant that we loved (and still love) when we were in college.

-Go somewhere together that is special or meaningful to both of you.  I thought about taking Ryan to the temple this week.

-Make or buy a favorite treat (homemade bread, fresh chocolate chip cookies, specialty candy) and have it waiting when he gets home from work...or drop it off at his work mid-day.

-Fill your bedroom with helium balloons, possibly with love notes or photos attached to the strings.

-Think of something that would improve your marriage and make it happen.  I've noticed lately that Ryan and I go on extremely boring dates.  We like to go out together when we can, but it's almost always dinner or a movie, and sometimes we just don't have a lot to talk about other than Noah and work.  I know there are a gazillion fun date ideas online, but honestly, who has time to look up date ideas online??  Well, I am going to make time this week.  As one of Ryan's Cupid gifts, I am going to spend an hour researching fun date ideas.  I will either make a list of at least one we can do every month this next year, or I will make a huge list to read to Ryan, and he can help me decide what sounds fun.  (I will report back if I get an stellar date ideas that need to be shared.)

-Do something that he loves together--watch a football game with him, go hunting with him, do an art project with him.

-Use one of your talents to do something special for him.  If you are an artist, paint him a picture.  If you are a writer, write him a poem or a love letter or a narrative about your marriage.  (I did this once as an anniversary gift.)  If you are a musician, write him a song, or sing him a favorite love song, or serenade him with your guitar.

-Take him on a random outing in your town--something that you have never done before and might never do without an occasion.  I've found that one of the best places to discover these random outings is from Groupon, Living Social, or coupon mailers.  Take a chance and try something different...it might end up being a bust, but at least it will be an adventure and something to laugh about in future years.  A few years ago, I got a coupon in the mail for a Russian bathhouse near our house.  I decided to live on the wild side and book an appointment for me and Ry for Valentines Day.  It ended up being one of our most memorable, hilarious, and random dates ever.  You can read the full report here.  (I still laugh when I read that post and remember that night.)

-Get him a gift!  Not super original, but is there something he's been wanting but has been too frugal to buy?  Or is there something you think he needs that he probably wouldn't think of?  Buy it for him.

-Steal his car from the parking lot at work and take it to the car wash.  Vacuum it out and Windex the dashboard etc.  Fill it up with gas.  Leave a love note on the seat.

Wow...that list took a lot longer to write up than I thought!  I really hope someone out there uses some of these ideas--please let me know if you do!  It doesn't have to be for Valentines...it could be for anniversaries or birthdays or just an average day when you want to show your spouse a little extra love.

If you want to start a Secret Cupid tradition, you can start Friday the 7th so it will last the entire week, but you don't have to.  You can start whenever is convenient for you, and I'm sure your hubby (or wife for that matter, in the highly unlikely event that a man is reading this post) will be thrilled to be spoiled, even for a day or two.   If you want to see the several posts that I've written on this blog about Secret Cupid in the past, click here. More fun ideas are included in those posts, but they were pretty specific to me and Ryan so I didn't include them in this generalized list.

And if you want to do Secret Cupid with your entire family like my mom did (it really is a super fun tradition with kids), click on this link and head over to my sister's blog where she has outlined how the whole thing works.

As I was compiling the ideas for this post and thinking back on former Valentines Days, I remembered a hilarious story from my teaching days that I have to share.  One February 14th, Ryan gave me a glow-in-the-dark necklace with a note saying that I could wear it on our sledding date that night.  He was going to take me to a famous sled hill near Buffalo, NY for an evening adventure.  Well, when my high school students asked what Ryan had given me for Valentines Day, I said, totally innocently, "He gave me a glow-in-the-dark necklace. He said I'm going to need it tonight."  It wasn't until they all burst out laughing that I realized how bad that sounded.  "TO GO SLEDDING!!!!  TO GO SLEDDING AT CHESNUT RIDGE, YOU GUYS!" I yelled over the mayhem.

"Suuuuuure..." they all teased.

I hope you all have a spicy and romantic and fun Valentines Week, and I hope this list of ideas makes that just a little easier! :)

Secret Cupid 2013

Our annual Secret Cupid tradition was a success this year!

Ryan received surprises such as a "heart attack" in his car, a little book of Reasons I Love You, a snack bag with study treats (he is stressing about his upcoming Board exam), a batch of delicious homemade cinnamon rolls, a silky nightgown (don't worry--that was for me to wear, not him), and his favorite dinner, chicken cordon bleu.

I got the cute printables for the snacks here.

Rachel received a clean kitchen several days in a row (I think my Cupid sometimes forgets to get me anything, so he decides to clean instead, which is just fine with me), a coupon for a free massage by Ryan, a creative game called The Race of Love (more on that in a second), and some lovely roses.

You may be wondering how Noah is holding onto the stems of a bunch of thorny roses--well, if you look closely, you may notice that these beauties are artificial.  Men are funny.  I'm not going to say anything more than that.

The roses in all their artificial glory

My Cupid is very good at coming up with fun and random games for me to play each year.  This year, I had to compete in "The Race of Love."  When I walked into our bedroom, I saw hearts taped all over the walls and furniture with reasons why I am loved written on them.  My Cupid had left detailed instructions for me to compete in the game: I had to run around the room and grab each heart, shout the reason that I am loved loudly, and stick the heart to my body.  I had to gather all the hearts in two minutes or less.  I managed to do it because I am pretty athletic like that.

Noah didn't have a full week of Cupid surprises (we will start doing that for him next year--I think he will be just the right age to be super pumped about it), but Cupid did stop by his crib and leave him a little something on Valentine's Eve.

Little Noah is sleeping soundly, totally unaware of the delight that awaits him in the A.M.

The may be the happiest Noah has ever been first thing in the morning

The balloon was three times his size

Can't wait for Cupid to visit us next year!

Very Romantic

As anyone familiar with the Nielson family knows, Valentines Day is a pretty big deal around our house.

In the week leading up to the big day, we are visited by a Secret Cupid who leaves all sorts of surprises and treats every day.  (For history on how SC became part of our lives, click here.)

This year, Cupid must've been scared off by the insane amount of people that were visiting us for Noah's adoption finalization and sealing--because he didn't show up very often.  He was either too scared or too tired to visit every day (I think it may have been the latter).  But he did show up twice, once on Ryan's behalf and once on Rachel's.

Ryan came home from work to find this sign hanging on the bedroom door...

and when he opened the door, he found a message, spelled with his favorite candy!

Rachel came home the next night to find that SC had decorated the bedroom...

Yes, we have an ugly metal octopus lamp. 

After that, Cupid disappeared.  There was a lot going on, so we didn't mind.  But we are expecting his return next year!!!

Our actual Valentines evening was very romantic.

Ryan got a steamy text message on his way home from work: "Can you stop and get a plunger??  The toilet is clogged and I need to use it!  Hurry please!"

He walked into the apartment bearing sweet Valentines gifts that swept me off my feet.

I then served him a romantic dinner of leftovers (thanks, Ashley!), but at least it was served on heart-shaped plates.

Do I know how to set an attractive table, or what?

We sipped Kool-aid through our heart-shaped straw, and then we played a dice game.  One dice stated an action ("Let's kiss," "Let's hug," "Let's dance," etc.) and the other dice stated a location ("In the bedroom," "In the closet," "On the porch," etc).  Let me assure you, these dice were rated PG.  I got them at the grocery store in the section with all of the seasonal decorations.  They prompted us to do romantic things such as "Let's hug...on the couch."

Happy Valentines Day!

P.S.  I am taking Ryan on a surprise Valentines Day date on Monday, and I am super excited because it is so random.  Can't wait to blog about it.

SC was here.

An "I Love You" Mug for Ryan:

A Clean House for Rachel:

A Refrigerator Display for Ryan (with cute love magnets):

Unexpected Additions to the Refrigerator Display for Rachel:

(This was my favorite surprise of all...his captions are really clever!)

A Fun Game for Ryan:

A Fun Snow Message for Rachel:

And a Rose and a Fancy Necklace too:

It was a great week.

SC, I love you.  

He's baaaacck!

It must be Secret Cupid week again.  We've been finding evidence all over the apartment:

Happy Valentines Week!!

Cupid Strikes Again!

That sneaky "Secret Cupid" was back again this year! Here are some of the things that he left for us.

Day 1:

-Ryan found a framed photo of his family on his desk--to remind him while he is studying of all of the people who love him.

-Secret Cupid must have forgotten about Rachel, but she wasn't mad.

Day 2:

-Ryan found a little space heater underneath his desk. (Secret Cupid must have overhead him whining about how cold his toes get while he is studying in our frigid apartment.)

-Rachel got an unexpected batch of homemade wheat bread. YUMMMM!

Day 3:

-The inside of Ryan's car was "attacked" with 24 Fun Dips taped all over it. (SC must know that we had Fun Dips on our first date.)

-Rachel found a beta fish named "Marve" in a vase on the kitchen table. So random but fun!

Day 4:

-Secret Cupid forgot about Ryan this day...oops.

-Rachel found the bedroom decorated with streamers and an I Love You sign!

Day 5:

-Ryan got a new board game called Last Word--even better, he got to play it with a couple of friends while eating crepes! YUM!

-We can't remember what Rachel got this day, so it must have been particularly meaningful. :)

Day 6:

-Ryan was whisked away to quaint East Aurora, New York for a surprise night out. We went outdoor ice skating and ate dinner/dessert at a funky coffee shop. (They also had a huge chess set, and Ryan shocked me with his skills. Come to find out, he used to play tons of chess in high school and even read books about chess strategy! WHAT THE?!)

-Rachel found beautiful roses hanging from the light fixture in the hallway.

Ryan is an excellent skater. (He used to play hockey...is there anything this guy doesn't do?) He can skate backwards and do little jumps and stuff.

I am not an excellent skater, but I am trying to pretend to skate backwards in this photo.

Day 7:

-Ryan was supposed to get a fun scavenger hunt with cute magnets leading around the apartment--but Secret Cupid is so sneaky that a few weeks ago, she hid the magnets somewhere in the apartment so Ryan would not find them...and then on the Big Day, SC herself could not find them! Oops! Maybe next year! (Hopefully they'll show up by then!)

-Rachel got a special dinner of homemade spaghetti sauce and garlic bread--and she didn't have to make any of it! (Although she did offer to clean it up.)

Speaking of Cupid...check out this little cherub!

I am going to see him tomorrow in St. Louis, and I can't wait!!! (HOORAY for February Break!)

Secret Cupid 2009

When I was young, my mom started a great tradition she called "Secret Cupids." The week before Valentines Day, we'd have a special family night during which we would all draw the name of a family member out of a hat. It was then our quest to surprise that person with a little hidden gift each day as his/her Secret Cupid

Since we were so little and didn't have money or a way to get to the store, my mom would buy a bunch of Valentines candy and little gifts, and she would set up a Cupid Store in her bedroom. We each got ten tickets, which we could use to "purchase" surprises for our secret friend.

Is my mom the cutest or what??

This tradition was a highlight of the year, as we would run home from school to search for our Cupid gift or to sneak a treat into the perfect spot for our person to find. Often, the surprises were not just candy but also acts of service--making the bed, picking up toys, etc. Although it was very, very easy to figure out who your Cupid was (there was only five of us in the family!), we still went to great pains to remain anonymous and undiscovered.

Ry and I have continued this tradition in our courtship and then our marriage--and although it's really not a mystery who my Secret Cupid is each year, I sure love getting little treats and gifts all week long!

Yesterday, I surprised Ryan with a special Valentines breakfast.

The yolk ran a little, but I still thought the heart-shaped eggs/toast was pretty cute!

Today, I made homemade bread for him--my first time ever. Although the loaf turned out to be shaped a little like a butt, it sure tasted DE-licious. (It is a super easy recipe if anyone wants it.)

I must say, Ryan's gifts to me thus far have been quite classy:

It started yesterday with a sappy love songs mix CD he downloaded from iTunes. I think he was a little embarassed when he realized that the playlist included such tasteful and refined favorites as "I'll Make Love to You" by Boyz 2 Men and "Let's Get it On" by Marvin Gaye. Nice, Ry...real romantic.

Today, he made me a rather clever candy-gram--although I think only in my family would Pepto-Bismol be considered a gift/treat. We love the stuff.

I have several funny surprises up my sleeve for Ry and am looking forward to a week of fun!