Flashback Thursday - Ator 2: The Blade Master

Ator 2 - The Blade Master

Yes, there was a sequel made to the horrible Ator.
Yes, Miles O'Keefe is back as Ator.
and Yes, I've seen it 34 times.

This is the plot synopsis straight from IMDb:

In this sequel, the Fighting Eagle returns. This time he must save a former mentor from the evil Zor. Ator battles cavemen, invisible swordsmen, and barbarians with his new sidekick Thong to finally have the ultimate showdown with Zor

Yes, his sidekick is named Thong and No, the Thong song is not about him.

IMDb rating: 1.8

Flashback Thursday - Willow

Willow

This one came out late in the 80's and, to my recollection, is the only "fantasy" movie that Ron Howard has done so far.

I liked this movie. It was fun and adventurous and the characters were likable enough. The plot is a little hammy, and you can sorta see whats coming next a mile away, but it's still fun to see it when it arrives. This was done long before Peter Jackson's team really brought forced perspective to the forefront so you get to see all of your favorite "little people" actors: Billy Barty, Warwick Davis among other.

Val Kilmer stars as Mad Martigan, the reluctant anti-hero and, soon to be wife, Joanne Whalley plays Sorsha, the villainess with a heart of gold...well, sorta. A particular fan favorite were Kevin Pollak and Rick Overton as two brownies (or pixies or whatever they were) along for the ride.

The biggest surprise however is the writer: George Lucas. Who knew he could write something that wasn't Star Wars or Raiders of the Lost Ark related. Maybe he should try do that again!

All in all, I would recommend this movie, especially to anyone with younger children. Just not TOO young as there may be some scenes too scary for them.

IMDb Rating - 7.1

Flashback Thursday - Quest of the Delta Knights

Here's a little known film (and if you've seen it, you'll understand why) that was spoofed on the ever popular MST3K...Quest of the Delta Knights!

I stumbled on this movie on late night TV years ago and noticed something that made me do a little research on IMDb. I noticed that in certain scenes, early in the movie, when they are showing the town, it was filmed at the Renaissance Faire in Northern California at Black Pointe Forest. Of course, the faire has since moved locations several times since this was made, but with as often as I went there, I definitely recognized it.

Anyways, anyone from the bay area that frequented the Ren Faire in the 80's will probably spot some familiar turf. Other than that little piece of trivia, there is absolutely no reason to sit though this two hour abomination. It is a horribly B-grade movie that nearly makes Sci Fi original movie look passable. The only person I recognized in the whole thing was David Warner, who you may remember as SARK from Tron or a thousand other roles he's played over the years. He's never really been known for blockbuster success, but I can only imagine he too this role because he had gambling debts he had to pay off.

In summary, only watch this if Comcast shuts off your cable and this is the only movie available.

IMDb Rating - 2.2

Flashback Thursday - Labyrinth

Labyrinth - 1986

Let me preface this post by saying I have never seen this movie while I was completely conscious. Every time I watch it, I'm half asleep and I wind up going in and out of consciousness while the movie plays.

Now, having said that...being semi-conscious is the only way to watch this movie. And I mean that in the best possible way. Watching muppets and David Bowie in a giant maze while in a semi-dream state makes for the best hallucinations this side of dropping acid. You're never really sure whats going on or what the hell those damn muppets are saying, but it doesn't really matter.

The scenes that I have seen while coherent were pretty entertaining and looked like a fun movie. It's definitely geared towards kids, but can be fun for the whole family.

IMDb Rating - 7.3

Flashback Thurday - Ladyhawke

Ladyhawke - 1985

Rutger Hauer (one of the coolest names ever) stars in the this mid 80's fantasy action flick with, of all people, Matthew Broderick.

Captain Navarre (Hauer) and Isabeau (Michelle Pfeiffer) have been cursed by a jealous high priest to live separate lives forever. During the day she would transform into a hawk, a Ladyhawke to be exact, and at night he would transform into a black wolf. Always together but always apart.

This was a good story and the cast is surprisingly good as well. The costumes leave a little to be desired, but all in all it's an enjoyable movie.

IMDb Rating - 6.8

Flashback Thurday - Red Sonja

Red Sonja - 1985

Oh my...what can be said here.

Starring Brigitte Nielsen as the title character with a red mullet that was put all of Georgia to shame. It was like a hair helmet!

Also starring Arnold Schwartzenegger as NOT Conan. Sure they changed his name to Kalidor, but we all know who he was supposed to be. Just because you couldn't get the rights to the name, don't try to pull the wool over our eyes.

And as the bad guy(girl) was Sandahl Bergman as NOT Valeria. You can see the desperate attempt to make this a "Conan" movie but with none of the budget or writing talent. They tried as hard as they could to remind everyone that it was related to Conan by using the two stars of the Conan movie.

They should have skipped Ernie Reyes Jr and cast Gerry Lopez (Subotai) as Prince Tarn and gone for the trifecta.

This was NOT Conan and it was NOT a good movie. But like usual, I watch it everytime it comes on tv. But I did surprise myself by not buying the dvd.

IMDb Rating = 4.3

Flashback Thurday - Legend

Legend - 1985

Fresh off a string of successes, Tom Cruise stars in this fantastical tale of good and evil, of unicorns and goblins. If you can get past seeing ol' Tom in a scale mail mini dress, you're in for a really good movie.

Directed by Ridley Scott, one of my personal favorites, this seems to have everything going for it. It has a sorta dreamy quality to it and it stars Tim Curry as EVIL!!! I defy anyone to identify who it is if they don't already know.

I'm a little surprised Tom didn't try to convert Evil to Scientology.

IMDb Rating = 6.1

Flashback Thurday - Mazes and Monsters

Tom Hanks kills a Gorabill (?)

I couldn't actually find a trailer for this made for tv movie, staring Tom Hanks, so I posted a couple of my favorite Mazes and Monsters scenes. The first we find Pardue (Tom Hanks) wandering through Pequad Caverns in search of adventure when suddenly he is set upon by the evil Gorabill. This is the first time we see Robbie Wheeling separate himself from reality before his short trip to Coo Coo Town.

In the second scene, Robbie had BECOME Pardue and followed the little voices in his head to The Two Towers, or as we in the really real world call it, The World Trade Center. He thinks that if he jumps off the tower he can find his long lost brother. In a touching, heartfelt performance that would certainly ensure his meteoric rise to stardom, we watch as Tom Hanks plies his trade and jerks the tears right out of our D&D loving heads.

IMDb Rating = An Astounding 4.2

Flashback Thurday - Ator

1982 brought us a vast array of movies that would embarrass the academy awards, and Ator was their leader.

This train wreck was difficult to even follow much less enjoy, but somehow I still managed to do just that. There is something about people off the street pretending to be actors pretending to be characters swing swords that sucks me in every time.

This starred Miles O'Keeffe as Ator. I like to think of ol' Miles as the Casper Van Dien of the 80's

IMDb Score = 2.3

Flashback Thurday - Excalibur

Excalibur - 1981

This is by far the best King Arthur movie ever made. This is what knights in shining armor should look like. The combat was fast and violent and the visuals were stunning.

According to legend, John Boorman was originally hoping to do The Lord of the Rings but was unable to secure the rights so he used the same sets and filmed this instead. I would love to see what it would have looked like if it had been LotR, but I'm glad that we were given this excellent King Arthur movie.

If you haven't seen it...rent it
If you've rented it...buy it
If you've bought it...go see it again

Also, look for some big name actors in cameo roles: Gabriel Byrne as Uther, Liam Neeson as Sir Gawain, Patrick Stewart as Leondegrance and Helen Mirren as Morgana (although this isn't really a cameo)

Flashback Thursday - The Crystal Shard

1982 brought us a lot of interesting and not so interesting fantasy-type movies. This was, I believe, aimed at smaller children but was still one of the more interesting fantasy movies of the time. The Dark Crystal was almost entirely shot using puppets that, lets be honest here, creeped me the f%$* out! I don't know what it is about puppets, but their like clowns to me. They shouldn't be moving around like that and they sure as hell shouldn't be entertaining kids!

Anyways, despite my creepy puppet hang-up, it was still a good story and well done by puppet-gurus Frank Oz and Jim Henson. I would recommend people see it that haven't...unless you're creeped the f%$* out by puppets...or clowns...even though there's no clowns in this.

Clowns are just creepy...

Flashback Thursday - Wizards & Warriors

Wizards and Warriors was a short-lived (blink and you missed it) television series that premiered, aired and died all in 1983. It stared Jeff Conaway, of Taxi fame, as the good Prince Erik Greystone in sort of a D&D-esque show obviously attempting to capitalize on the Dungeons & Dragons craze of the early 80's. Unfortunately it wasn't very good or very funny and died quicker than a zombie at a cleric convention.

Flashback Thursday - Lord of the Rings [1978]

Today we have another Ralph Bakshi classic, but not in a good way. This was his total destruction of The Lord of the Rings. In this train wreck of a cartoon, he tells the story of The Fellowship of the Ring and HALF of The Two Towers. It ends just as Aragorn and Theoden ride out of Helmsdeep to face overwhelming numbers of orcs. Unfortunately those overwhelming orcs were UNDERwelming rotoscopes of really really bad costumes.

This was a disaster from beginning to end with little in the way of saving graces. The balrog looked like it was wearing fuzzy bunny slippers, Saruman was renamed Arrowman so people wouldn't confuse him with Sauron, and Samwise looked like a bronze medalist at the special olympics.

It was a crap movie and needless to say I watched the hell out of it throughout the 80's. I'm not proud of it, but there it is.

Flashback Thursday - Circle of Iron

Originally called The Silent Flute, this story was written by the late, great Bruce Lee. But like the TV series Kung Fu, this was given to that master of slow motion karate, David Carradine. Granted, he got this role years after Bruce Lee's death by acquiring the rights to the movie and choosing to star in the, not one or two, but FOUR roles originally intended for Mr. Lee.

This is the only kung fu fantasy movie I've ever seen, but if there are more please tell me 'cuz, like a scab you have to pick, I have to watch crappy fantasy movies!

Flashback Thursday - The Sword and the Sorcerer

Here's a little gem that I'm sure most of you would like expunged from your memories.

The Sword and the Sorcerer from 1982 staring Lee Horsley (aka. Matt Houston) and Richard Lynch (aka. that guy that everyone recognizes but no one knows his name).

Some of you might even recognize the Sorcerer as Richard Moll from Nightcourt fame, but I'm guessing all of you recognize that damn three-bladed sword that had a magical air compressor built into the pommel and would shoot two of the blades at enemies.

Damn you Conan the Barbarian for spawning these God-awful fantasy movies that forced me to waste my youth watching each and every one!

Flashback Thursday - Fire and Ice

Damn you "Spring Forward", you've once again nearly caused me shame and embarrassment!

Somehow, with all this "Set your clocks ahead 1 hour" hoo-ha, I almost missed Thursday. Did we switch to a metric week and no one told me? Anyways, I'm going to set the Way-Back machine to 1983 for the Ralph Bakshi/ Frank Frazetta classic Fire and Ice.

Flashback Thursday - Deathstalker

Released in the midst of the 80's, post-Conan the Barbarian, rash of really bad fantasy movies, Deathstalked embodied everything that was good and wholesome in a crappy B movie: Weak costumes, cheap sets, horrible makeup and effects and a distinctive lack of plot. Although I have to say, the pig faced man looks better than that abomination called Thoth Amon in Conan the Destroyer.

Flashback Thursday

Dragonslayer

By far, the best dragon ever committed to film. Vermithrax is the standard by which I have judged all other movie dragons, and believe me, they're all coming up short. Especially that train wreck Dragonheart.

The movie starts off a little slow-ish, but believe me, the final battle is more than worth the wait.

BTW, that was a kick-ass spear. Made me want to use spears more in my D&D campaigns.

Flashback Thursday

Krull!
According to rumor, here-say and IMDB, this was originally supposed to be called Dungeons and Dragons. I'm not really sure if that title was before some changes happened to the story, but the final product doesn't exactly scream D&D to me. However, this is still one of my favorite 80's fantasy adventure flicks of all time.

And as you watch, you can see there are some really amazing actors in this movie. Liam Neeson, Alun Armstrong, Freddie Jones and Robbie Coltrane.

And honestly, who didn't watch this and want a Glaive of his or her own for Christmas?

Flashback Thursday

Ah yes, Hawk the Slayer!

If any of you out there haven't seen this little gem, you're not truly bored enough on a Sunday afternoon.

This is a spectacular B-/C+ movie made in the early 80's staring Jack Palance as the despicable Voltan and John Terry as his brother Hawk (the Slayer). Co-starring Bernard Bresslaw (the cyclopse from Krull) as his giant companion Gort, who is actually sorta short for what I always pictured as a giant.

If for no other reason, you must watch with for Crow, the elven archer and his Legol-ass kicking bow work.

Why are you still here reading this? Go get it!